Authors Note: Still dont own twilight...unfortunately....However Ana and Jade are still and always will be mine hehehe. Anyways, this chapter just kind of flowed out tonight and as all Jade fans can see, it is a Jade chapter!!! Hope that YOU ALL enjoy, so buckle up kiddos, it going to be a bumpy ride :D Read, Enjoy, and REVIEW!!!!!
Chapter 23: Smoke and Mirrors
Jade's POV
I have never been the jealous type, because jealousy is a pointless emotion. I was taught from a young age that if you want something, you have to work for it, nothing is ever handed to you. I can say I am jealous right now. I stand at the door way of the kitchen watching everyone sitting around the dinner table laughing and talking after dinner. I am jealous of the way Ana so easily fits in anywhere she goes, but most of all I am jealous of the obvious love and the deep connection that Edward, Emmett, and Alice obviously grew up with. It wasn't that my family didn't love me, they just never showed it. My parents divorced when I was young and the majority of my life was spent shuttled between my Mom and Dad's house, every other weekend. I never had an actual home. Somewhere that I could escape and walk through the door and know that I was safe and loved. I sigh heavily at my own thoughts and walk down the hall. I am drawn to the pictures on the wall just as Ana was. The happiness is apparent, I can almost feel it radiating out of the pictures and washing over me. I walk down the line staring at pictures of youthful Edward and his siblings and stand frozen at one picture. It's her again. With her perfect smile and her perfect hair, and her perfectly slim arms wrapped around Edward the smile beaming on her face. 'Just want to punch her,' I think. I sigh angrily to myself. What is with me? I have never felt this way, and if this is what it feels like to be in love, can I just pass? I am pulled from my thoughts when someone politely clears their throat behind me. I turn and see Edward's dad, Carlisle standing and studying me. His hand tucked in his pocket and I am speechless by how much he and Edward resemble each other.
" Am I interrupting something?" he asks, smiling at me as if he knew exactly what I was thinking about. I blush ever so slightly as I cast a last glance at the picture of Edward and Bella.
" No sorry, I was just," I say trailing off not sure how to explain what exactly I was doing. He smiles quickly looking at me.
" Does my son know your in love with him?" he asks, his voice low and curious. I can feel my eyes widen at him as I run my fingers nervously through my hair.
" Is it that obvious?" I ask, immediately trying to close off my emotions. Feeling vulnerable scares me more than anything in this world, especially when I feel that way around a stranger.
" Yes, but as perceptive as my son is, sometimes he misses what is right in front of his face," he says easily, walking towards me. He takes my arm and leads me to the living room away from the noise in the kitchen. I sit on the black couch, my legs pulled up, my arms wrapped around my knees and I twirl my hair nervously around my fingers.
" So I hear that you are pre-med," he says, easily transitioning the conversation into a topic that I can handle. I smile and nod my head.
" Yeah. Its hard, I mean I knew that it wasn't going to be a cake walk, but its harder than I imagined," I say, cringing at the thought of all of the homework waiting for me back in Seattle.
" I remember those days, and I wouldn't go back for anything," he says laughing. I laugh with him, enjoying the easiness of the conversation. " Do you know what field you want to go in?"
" Not really, I was thinking surgery, but now I am thinking maybe emergency medicine. I watched when they were working on Jasper, and the fluidity of the doctors and nurses was astounding," I say, my memories shifting back to that night. When Rosalie, Emmett, and I stood in the emergency room, listening to the organized chaos. I felt like I was in my element, and my ears strained for every little bit of conversation I could pick up underneath the noise.
" I started out in emergency medicine, before I went into surgery," he says and I snap out of my memory.
" Can I ask you something?" I ask, clasping my hands in front of me. He nods and I think about how to ask what I want to ask as nicely as I can.
" You are an amazing surgeon, I mean you saved Jasper. What I don't understand is with your skill, why you aren't working at a bigger hospital? Somewhere you can make more money, deal with more patients," I say, praying what I just said, didn't offend him.
" You know, there have been times where I thought about how easily it would be to go and work in the bigger hospitals, but then, I think about Forks. It's as small town as you can get, and it has always been home. Before I decided to take the pay cut and move back here with Esme and the boys, the closest hospital with a surgeon on hand was an hour away. So I decided that it would be much more profitable in the long run to be here, helping people, then to be in the big city," he says, his eyes sparkling under the lights. We get lost in our conversation about medical school, and his stories of residency. I laugh at something he says and look up to see Edward standing in the door way, a stormy expression on his face.
" Mom told me to let you both know that if you have any hope to get some of the cake she made you might want to come and get it now, before Emmett eats it all," he says, fixing a small smile to his face.
" Oh, don't have to tell me twice. Jade, remember what I said, if you ever need help with anything, or just someone to talk to about the craziness of med school, you can always call me," Carlisle says and I smile and nod as he walks from the room. Edward stands staring at me for a minute before he says anything to me.
" So are you going to come eat some cake?" he asks, studying my face.
" Actually, I'm not really in the mood for cake," I say, looking at him. I don't know what has gotten into him, or why he seems so distant. Everything was fine this morning, when we were sleeping next to each other in the back seat of the car. He doesn't say anything to that, he just turns around leaving me to sit by myself in the living room. I groan to myself as I lay my head down on the arm of the couch. What is with him? Is there some sort of secret meaning to his cold demeanor?' I think to myself.
" Hey you, what have you been doing?" Ana's voice floats through the room and I open my eyes to see her sitting on the floor in front of me.
" Nothing really. I had a pretty good conversation with Carlisle," I say, conveniently leaving out the fact that Edward was acting like a PMSing teenager. I could see her eyes searching my face.
" What's the matter?" she asks, scooting closer so that we could whisper and no one could over hear.
" I don't know," I say, rolling my eyes, " It's Edward. Ever since we stepped into this house, he has just been acting so weird. Like he doesn't want his parents to know that what is going on between us is going on." She stares at me for awhile, a tense silence falling between us.
" Jade, did you ever think that maybe it has something to do with Bella?" she asks, and those words make everything fall into place. Of course he is acting weird, this house has to hold a million memories of his relationship with her.
" Shit, no I didn't even think about that, all I thought about was how much I want to punch her in the face," I say, and Ana laughs loudly, slapping her hand over her mouth looking guilty.
" Okay, so we have it narrowed down to two games to play," Emmett's voice booms through the room. " We can play poker or, we can play truth or dare."
" Truth or dare, seriously Em, what are we twelve?" I ask, rolling my eyes at him from across the room.
" Well I don't see anyone coming up with a better idea," he says, sitting down, his cheery mood somewhat extinguished by my unwillingness to play along.
" Come on Jade, what is the worst thing that can happen?" Ana asks, from her spot on the couch across from me. She smiles happily at something that Jasper whispers to her, and I groan.
" Fine, fine," I say, squirming in my seat, " I will play truth or dare."
" Yes!" Emmett exclaims, bounding towards me pulling me into a bone rattling hug.
" I get to go first though," I say, pulling away from Emmett's tight embrace. I scan the room trying to decide who to put on the spot first.
" Ana, truth or dare?" I ask, smiling in smug satisfaction as the color rushes to her face.
" Truth," she murmurs fiddling nervously with her hands.
" Okay, is it true that Jasper is the best kiss you have ever had?" I ask, knowing that the question asked wouldn't be hard, nor embarrassing for her to answer, and she smiles easily.
" Oh yeah," she says smiling and Jasper blushes deeply. I sit back feeling satisfied that I did my part to participate. I listen to the game continue around me, when Edward, who spent the majority of the time in the room staring at his cell phone, suddenly gets up and storms up the stairs.
" What was that all about?" Emmett asks aloud, and everyone looks at each other.
" I have no idea, but lets find out," Rosalie says, getting up from her seat on Emmett's lap. I follow behind her, creeping up the stairs with Emmett, Ana, and Jasper close behind. We stop when we hear the hushed, yet furious voice of Edward coming from behind his door. I walk closer to the door and press my ear cautiously to it.
" How are you going to text me seven months after YOU left ME, and tell me something like that?" Edward says, his voice muffled only slightly by the door.
" Oh boy, its Bella," Emmett says, and immediately Jasper, Rosalie, Emmett, and Ana step away from the door.
" What do you think she could possibly have to say?" Rosalie asks, and I sense the bitterness in her voice.
" I don't know, but I am not going to stand here and listen," Jasper says, turning to walk slowly back downstairs, Ana with him, her arm wrapped protectively around his waist.
" Yeah, come on Rose. I mean I am all for eavesdropping on my brother, but not over something like this," Emmett says, and with that I am left alone in the hall, debating with myself on what to do. Go with everyone else, that's what I should do. It's the right thing to do. But part of me wars against the good side, telling me to stay and listen, and at the end of it all I can offer my shoulder to him. I slide against the wall listening to his hushed voice.
" Damn it Bella, I am not doing this again. You left me remember, you chose Arizona and Jacob over me," he spits out, I can feel the anger, but more so I can feel the pain in his words. " What no, no I haven't met anyone, and what would it matter if I did? Oh really? Well you know what Alice doesn't know anything, and believe me I will be having a talk with my sister to make it perfectly clear that she isn't to discuss anything that has to do with me, with you," he says, and I can hear him snapping his phone shut. I sit in stunned disbelief. What would it matter to Bella if he met someone else, and what's more, why would Edward deny meeting anyone else. I'm someone else, and we have met, on a few occasions. I get to my feet and knock softly on his door. When there is no response I open it slowly, peeking my head into his childhood room. Edward sits on the side of his bed, his head in his hands, shoulders hunched. As much as I want to ream his neck for denying me to Bella, my heart goes out to him. I walk to him slowly, easing onto the bed to sit next to him.
" Want to talk about?" I ask, looking over at him. Its silent for a moment before Edward turns accusing eyes towards me.
" Why, you heard everything," he says, spitting the words at me between clenched teeth.
" Sorry, I was just trying to figure out why you have been so distant," I say, my muscles tightening. " I am just so uncertain about where we stand Edward, I just don't, you make me feel so nervous and uneasy, and I just wish that we could talk about it," I say stumbling over my words. He stands up pacing to the window before he spins around towards me.
" There is nothing going on between us Jade, we slept together a few times, we are companionable, that's it," he says, and I can feel everything crumble away. Gone is the Edward who held me when I cried, the one who took me indoor skydiving for my birthday, who shared his biggest secret with me. In his place is a cold, callous, uncaring stranger. Anger courses through my veins, hot and wet, consuming all of the pain.
" Well isn't that nice. You get into a fight with the bitch and you take it out on me. You sure have taken a page from Jasper's book haven't you? You know how I feel about you, you have heard my thoughts, you know that I am in love with you, and you are going to stand here, because some stupid girl who was stupid enough to leave you, and treat me like I am nothing? That's fine Edward, treat me like nothing, I will be nothing. I wont talk to you, look at you, and I sure as hell wont be in your bed, ever again," I scream, storming to the door. I pull it open revealing Emmett, Jasper, Rosalie, and Ana, all of their faces revealing shock and guilt. I storm past them and down the hall, Ana racing behind me. I slam out of the front door cursing the day that I laid eyes and hands on Edward Cullen.