Hello, hello again! Here it is, the next chapter. Just to clarify for anyone who has been getting confused - the chapters in first person are in the present, the chapters in third person are Jahar's past. It's third person because it seems so removed from current Jahar that it's as if she is watching someone else.

As always, feedback of any kind is immensely appreciated! And great love to my current reviewers - AniJen21, metamorphstorm, Birdie Num Num, voodooqueen126. Thanks for sticking with it so far!

Chapter 8

You couldn't even tell it was broken, Arbat said, as he bent his upper body and ran his hands down Jahar's foreleg. She giggled and squirmed under his touch, but to her the laugh felt hollow. Time had passed, time enough for her leg to heal, for Alloran to prepare to leave the homeworld on a flight to a distant planet, the Yeerk world. He had left the day before, and Jahar had stood there, unable to say a word as he gave her a friendly goodbye, unable to articulate her desire to leap into his arms. But it was her own conscience which held her back. She had chosen not to follow her desires. She had chosen to honour the contract she had entered into with Arbat, out of loyalty to him. It was not his fault she loved his brother, and she did not feel she could so hurt him as to leave him on such a selfish pretext.

Arbat had left his labs this day, and Jahar felt even guiltier at the knowledge that he was taking time away from his precious experiments to spend with her. He had taken her out in the Starwave, back to Lake Stilena, where she and Vitana had met Alloran. The lake shores seemed deserted with just her and Arbat now, and even the Kafit bird hovering over the water didn't make her feel less alone. A light wind chased ripples across the cool lake surface. The dune grasses rustled under its caressing touch, and Jahar shivered. Arbat felt her tremor, and straightened up in front of her before reaching out and stroking her face lightly.

What troubles my Jahar? You seem heavy, love. There was genuine concern in his voice. She started, angry with herself for betraying despondency and dissatisfaction.

Everyone seems to be leaving, Arbat. It makes me sad. A new friend of mine, Aldrea, left with her family for the Yeerk world. And of course, Alloran has gone too. She could never tell him how sad that made her. Arbat laughed and lifted her hands onto his shoulders.

So you mourn the passing of my wayward brother! It made her feel ill to have him name the truth in jest. Well, at least have the consolation that I shall never, ever go to war. Not whilst I have such a beautiful mate to tie me to my scoop. Was he going to finally name a marriage date? Jahar's long expectant hopes raised their weary head yet again. Arbat heaved another sigh and resumed stroking her face. Jahar, we must stop waiting. We must be together soon. She fought to keep her frustration from showing. If only they had married a season earlier, before Arbat's handsome, wonderful brother came home on leave. Then she would never have looked at Alloran. She could have been happy.

Yes, Arbat, soon. The words rolled coldly through her stomachs. Could she ever convince herself again that she actually wanted him? When? she asked. He moved nearer, and again she was aware of how alone they were. Funny, but she had never minded being just with him before. Now she felt almost trapped. His hands slid down over her shoulders, and his gaze grew more intense, so that she felt uncomfortably like he could see right into her lying mind. Slowly his fingers caressed the shoulder muscles, and she tensed at the unexpectedly intimate contact.

My poor Jahar. Your cares must be great for your muscles to carry such stress. He leaned closer, his head bowed beside hers, his breath warm on the fur of her neck. She fought the urge to run, and he must have felt her stiffen, because he suddenly drew away. His expression was confused. Not to your liking, love?

I asked you when we would be married, she said irritably, cross because he had wriggled out of an answer yet again. He looked surprised.

I said soon.

When? In reply, a bemused half smile.

Name a date, he said. If it matters so much to you. Part of Jahar recoiled. What was she doing, hurrying her entrapment? That thought chilled her. Was that really how she viewed the rest of her life with Arbat? Imprisonment? But it would be torture, to have Alloran so near, so familiar, walking such a fine boundary between sibling and suitor. Would she be strong enough to keep resisting his teasing flirtation? (And he did flirt with her, although she was sure it was only his nature.) Jahar threw her hands in the air.

I don't know! I'm sorry I raised it. Her tone almost betrayed her inner turmoil.

What a black mood you are in, Arbat teased. Perhaps it is a challenge for me to amuse you? Again annoyance rose in Jahar, catching at her hearts. Why did he have to be so playful now, when he had almost ignored her for all the time she would have welcomed such an offer? She tried to brush him off lightly.

I am sorry, Arbat. I did not sleep well last night. She decided to attempt reconciliation and reached up, fondling his learned, slightly mocking face. Forgive me, love? He leant into her hands.

There is nothing to forgive. His hands returned to her face, gently stroking her cheeks, but then they became insistent, reaching again down her neck to her shoulders. This time Jahar responded, lowering her own hands, and as she slid her fingers through the shoulder fur a shudder of pleasure ran through Arbat's body, rippling his soft blue pelt. Jahar, he breathed, leaning in closer. Why have we waited? His hands slid down over her back, and she had to admit it was enjoyable, even if the main thought running around her head was wrong brother. Wrong brother! When she looked into Arbat's main eyes the green irises glittered with desire, with such intensity that it almost frightened her.

Did she want this?

It felt pleasurable, and if she closed her eyes she could imagine it was Alloran holding her, caressing her.

Which was wrong.

She tried to pull away, to protest. Arbat, no...

Hush, he hissed. Just let me, Jahar. This is just the beginning. Let me show you. It felt so good that it didn't seem to matter which brother was doing it to her, and she gave in, her knees almost buckling from the intensity of the feelings Arbat's fingertips could evoke. Her imagination was running riot, supplying the right face in front of her hazy eyes, the right brother with that half-frightening expression of lust.

Jahar... he whispered, thought speak heavy with longing.

And as Jahar lost control in the whirling storm of desire, she breathed a name in response

Alloran...

The word was out before she could catch it back, and a sudden horror washed through her, like ice filling her veins. Arbat stiffened and then physically threw her off him, pushing her away with all the strength his weak arms could summon. She fell back, trembling, and the look on his face of fury, still battling with the traces of lust, was shocking.

What did you say? Each word was clipped, the tone glacial. Jahar knew better than to lie.

Arbat, I am so sorry. She stood there helplessly, unable to explain, unable to say anything which might melt the blazing anger which simmered deep in his eyes.

Why would you say my brother's name? Arbat asked coldly. Explain, my love. The final words were a shout, and Jahar rocked as if he had slapped her with his tail. She shook her head hopelessly.

Arbat... I can't.

At least have the courage to tell me the truth, he said bitterly, his eyes dark. Or would you like me to plead, my love?

She wished he'd stop calling her that, flinging the former term of endearment at her like a stinging insult. He was standing stock still, but his rage vibrated from him, so intensely that Jahar took a frightened step back.

I can beg if you really want, Arbat sneered. Shall I implore you on my knees, as I did when I asked you to be mine, my love?

She shook her head at the terrible image of him falling to his knees again in a terrible parody of that innocent day so many seasons ago. It seemed like another lifetime.

Arbat... I... I am so sorry.

Enough snivelling apologies, he roared, his thought speak bellowing around her head. Tell me the truth, Jahar, before I beat it out of you!

His threat was enough to finally give her the nerve. She raised her head and met his vicious gaze full on.

I am in love with Alloran, Arbat. I did not choose to be. I would never have betrayed you, and I did not feel I could break my contract with you. I would have married you, and been loyal. It was the truth, although she doubted he believed her.

And deceived me every day of our life together, Arbat spat. Until this happened, perhaps tomorrow, perhaps ten seasons from now. His expression changed, to one of revulsion. Until Alloran came home on leave and you two slunk off to some quiet corner to mock me with your vile perversions.

At this, anger flared in Jahar, dispelling her fear.

You think too lowly of us both! she cried spiritedly. I told you I would not have betrayed you, and your brother is too fine an Andalite to ever do so.

Ah yes, Arbat scoffed. Well it's quite clear how 'fine an Andalite' Alloran is in your view. There is little to be gained by my trying to dissuade you from that opinion, I'm sure. Jahar met his stare firmly, chin lifted. He made a movement, and she half wondered if he was going to attack her, but instead he paced back and forth in agitation. Finally he halted again, breathing hard, his eyes rolling a little as if mad.

Have no fear about being compelled to be my mate, he said shortly. I formally release you from that contract, which was clearly so hateful to you.

Relief rose in Jahar, so impossibly great she felt lightheaded.

Thank you, Arbat, she replied, and was appalled at how her genuine relief and gratitude radiated audibly in her thought speak. Arbat regarded her with an expression extremely close to disgust.

Since you are so set on having my brother I would not dare to stand in your way. You have my permission to pursue Alloran at your leisure. He laughed, shortly and bitterly. But be warned, my Jahar. I can not promise he will have you. And even if he does you may regret your choice. You have only seen one side of Alloran, only seen his sweetness and light. I will warn you, even if you will not listen. Alloran treads the edge of madness. I am sure you two could love each other to the brink of insanity, but you will never be safe with him, as you would with me.

His expression was extremely earnest, and for a second Jahar faltered. Was she making a huge mistake? Could she go back? No, that way was closed, her marriage to Arbat, their future children, all had perished the instant his brother's name escaped her.

I thank you for your warning, Arbat, she replied formally. He took a step towards her, and in that instant an expression of great longing escaped from under his rigid self control, but he clamped down on it and presented Jahar with an impenetrable mask.

Would you be kind enough to take the Starwave home, for me, Jahar? I feel in need of a very long run.

She agreed awkwardly, afraid that this was a trick, but he seemed in perfect earnest. He waited for her to board the ship, and lift off, watching her silently. Then, under her gaze, he turned away and took off, galloping across the fields as fast as he could.

Jahar gunned the engines and turned the Starwave towards Arbat's family lands.

Full speed ahead, she whispered to the computer. She wanted to be well away on her journey back to her lands before Arbat reached his home. As always, and, Jahar was sure, for the last time, the Starwave responded perfectly to her touch.