Authors Note: Hello Everyone, Amber here. Still not the owner of Twilight. So I want to apologize firstly for the fact that my chapters have been few and far between. Just been dealing with reality, but I promise it will become regualr again. I hope you guys enjoy this chapter. Let me know what you think. Read/Enjoy/Review!
Chapter 33: The Games That Play Us
" Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, Love leaves a memory no one can steal,"-From a Headstone in Ireland.
I don't know how long we have been sitting here, Alice and I, clutching each other with nothing but the silence surrounding us. It isn't until the sound of an approaching car that I look up in a daze and see them approaching. Edward and Emmett first, a look of concern distorting their usually easy going faces. I feel Edward's warm hands pulling Alice from my hold, and the sound of fresh tears rips at my already shattered heart.
" What happened?" Emmett asks, looking down at me. " Are you guys hurt? Why is there blood on your shirt, Ana?"
" I, we, we came to check on," I stumble over the words, shaking more from the shock of the experience than the cold December air that nips at me.
" Emmett stop. You and Edward should take Alice back to her apartment, we'll take Ana home," Rosalie says easily, laying a shaking hand on Emmett's shoulder. I look at them through blurry eyes and see the look that passes between them.
" Ana, come on honey. We're going to take you home now," Jade says, kneeling down to look at me. I just nod and let her and Rosalie help me to my feet. I walk with them, their arms wrapped around my waist. I shoot just one small glance over my shoulder and watch as Emmett lifts Alice into his arms. She looks so small, like a doll. SO broken, the light has left her once bright eyes. My heart breaks more as I watch them walk away, and I wish that I could do something, anything, to ease her pain.
" Rose, can you get Ana some tea, I'm going to take her upstairs so she can get cleaned up," Jade says, her voice low as she leads me up the stairs. I let her lead me, walking with her, not knowing how it is that that I am putting one foot in front of the other.
" You going to be okay if I leave you alone?" Jade asks looking at me with concerned eyes. I nod simply and watch as she leaves the bathroom sliding the door shut silently behind her. I turn on the shower water as hot as it will go and strip my blood stained clothes dropping them on the floor, and step into the billowing steam. I start scrubbing and crying, trying to rinse away the blood, wash away the things that I keep seeing in my head. Finally I slide down against the wall of the shower pulling my knees to my chest and start crying. I finally run dry of tears but I am left unable to move, even as the water runs icy cold. I shiver violently against the cold water that hits my skin. A soft knock at the door comes and I cant find my voice to call out to whoever it is.
" Ana?" Jasper's voice calls out. I hear the door open, and close slowly. Jasper's milky white hand reaches through the shower curtain snapping off the water. He slides the curtain back slowly. I stare ahead, watching water drops slide down the wall. I feel something warm wrap around me and look up only when Jasper lifts me easily from the shower. I lay my head against his shoulder as he carries me from the bathroom into his room. He sets me on his bed, and reaches over me clicking on his bed side lamp. Lifting my chin with his fingers he looks at me, and I can feel whatever pain I thought I washed down the drain flood back into me like a tidal wave.
" I'm going to get you some clothes okay?" Jasper asks and I open my mouth to say something, only to find that I cant speak. My voice just wont come out. So I nod and watch as he walks across the hall into my room. He comes back holding a pair of pajama pants and a shirt. He kneels in front of me, sliding my shirt over my head.
" Turn around," I say finally, my voice breaking only slightly. He smiles a quick smile of relief as he turns around so that I can finish dressing myself. " Okay," I say, and he turns back around and sits next to me taking my hand in his.
" What happened? I got a voicemail from Edward saying there was an accident and that everyone was on their way to come and get you and Alice," he says and I close my eyes swaying slightly at the thought of having to say it out loud.
" Alice called me to come and get her because she and Mike had a fight. So when I picked her up she told me they were fighting because he wanted to do some race and she didn't want him to, so he ditched her on the side of the road. Well, like any girl, she wanted to drive by and check on him. We got there, and he was getting ready to race. We were sitting there, and we watched as he raced, and for a second I could feel the exhilaration in the whole place. Then it happened, he took the turn too fast, and he flipped the truck. Alice, she uh, she ran so quickly and she pushed through the huge crowd and I went after her, and Mike, he was laying, on the pavement. There was so much blood, and he was actually joking about his poor truck," I say, tears constricting my throat. He slides closer to me lifting his arm to wrap around me, but I shake my head pushing myself off of the bed. I wrap my arms around myself tightly and stare out of his bedroom window. " Then he was gone. He told Alice he was sorry and told her to tell his mom that he loves her, and then he just closed his eyes. By then the paramedics came and moved us away. I just held Alice while she cried, and I prayed, for some sort of miracle, that he would be okay. But he isn't okay, he died. For what?" I scream, feeling the pain rising inside of me, ready to make me explode at any minute. " There was no reason for this, none. He made a stupid choice and it cost him his life, and Alice. What about Alice? She watched the man she loves die, and here I am crying like he was my brother or something. It doesn't make sense Jasper, it just doesn't make any fucking sense anymore."
" Ana, please, just let me help," he says reaching for me, and I finally let go, collapsing to his bedroom floor praying that I could somehow forget.
I drag myself downstairs Friday morning, wishing that I didn't have to go on this stupid trip. All I have wanted to do was sleep, and that's what I have been doing. Curled in a tight ball on my bed, I-pod blaring to drown out the sound of my own dreams.
" Ana-banana," Emmett's surprised voice calls to me and I look over a small smile haunting my lips. " Are you ready to go?" I nod in answer and open the front door.
" Ana wait," Jade calls and I stop to look at her. She hugs me tightly to her. " You don't have to go on this trip you know?"
" I know, and as much as I don't want to go out, I need to get out," I whisper to her. She squeezes me one last time before letting go.
" If you need me, call me," she says and I nod. I climb into Emmett's jeep and sit back against the seat.
" Thanks Em, for taking me," I say, unable to meet his careful glance.
" No problem half-pint," Emmett says starting his jeep. I jump slightly at the rumble of the engine closing my eyes, willing my heart to stop pounding. It's been only two days since the accident that took Mike's life, but in those two days so many things have changed. Alice would be moving back into the house, becoming my new roommate, no one spoke much about what happened, and what's worse I cant bring myself to drive. I sat in my car for a full hour yesterday staring blankly at the garage door trying to get myself to start the car, and I couldn't do it, which leaves me in the humiliating situation of having to get rides to go where I need to go. I settle into an easy silence with Emmett, listening to the soft murmur of the radio. I close my eyes against the small ray of sunshine that pushes its way through the cloud cover.
" Ana," Emmett's voice stirs me enough to open my eyes.
" Yeah," I answer back and I look over at his softly smiling face.
" We're here," he says, and I look up to see Jasper and Brody waiting for me by the rental car.
" Thanks again for the ride Em," I say, sliding out of the jeep.
" Sure, anytime. Have fun, don't do anything I wouldn't do, which pretty much leaves your options open," he says, hugging me sweetly. " Oh wait, I have something for you." I watch as he rustles around under the driver seat and cant help but to burst out in laughter when he holds Sir. Quaksalot out to me. " You know just in case you get scared or something while your away." I take the silly duck from his hands and hold it close to my heart. Sometimes the sweetness that is Emmett catches me so off guard it leaves me breathless.
" Thanks Em," I whisper hugging him tightly, " Don't worry I will bring Sir. Quaksalot home to you safely." I step back from his hold and make my way to the awaiting car.
" You ready to go?" Brody asks, and I look back one final time before nodding my head and sliding into the back seat of the car.
I open my eyes slowly at the sensation of someone covering me up.
" Sorry, didn't mean to wake you," Jasper says, looking at me seriously.
" Its'kay" I say, my voice sleepy. " Where are we?" I ask, sitting up looking around blinking my eyes slowly.
" Only about two hours out, we stopped because Brody needed a bathroom," he says, sliding to sit next to me.
" Oh," I say, rubbing my eyes, and stretching.
" Listen Ana, I have been meaning to talk to you about something," Jasper starts saying, but he is quickly interrupted by a hyper Brody bouncing into the car.
" Whew, I didn't think I was going to make it to the bathroom in time, dude seriously you should have seen the size of the, oh good morning sleeping beauty," Brody says, blushing deeply at what he was about to say. Even though he caught himself before saying something totally obscene it doesn't take a rocket scientist to know where he was going with that conversation.
" Not for long. I am going back to sleep, I think you two can manage to get us where we're going without any help from me" I say, sitting back against the seat. I watch as Jasper goes to step out of the car to take over at the wheel again.
" Wait, Brody why don't you drive for a while," I suggest and Brody beams at me.
" Finally, my turn at the wheel," he says, hopping into the drivers seat. I grab Jasper's hand as he goes to move again.
" Please stay," I say, and he smiles at me softly. He closes the door and settles back against the seat. I lay down on the seat, pillowing my head in his lap. Though not much has changed between Jasper and I, its when I am with him that I feel safe again. I know that part of it is because what he can do, I know he is using whatever power he possesses to make this easier for me, and I am not ashamed to take every bit of whatever help he can offer. I close my eyes, relax instantly the moment he starts running his fingers through my hair.
" Wait there has to be some sort of mistake, there was supposed to be two rooms booked, one for Jasper Hale and Brody Mitchell, and the other for Ana Benson," Jasper says, his voice annoyed. The woman behind the counter smiles a generic sympathetic smile making me want to smack her.
" I understand that sir, but check in is at noon, after that time you run the risk of losing a room, luckily for you, you only lost one of your rooms," she says in a high pitched nasally tone that makes me cringe.
" Fine, whatever. We will take what we can get. See you guys I told you, if you would have just gotten over your stupid male ego's and stopped and asked for directions like I told you too, we wouldn't have gotten so lost and we wouldn't have to be sharing a damn room," I growl at the boys, before snatching the keys from the woman's hand. I stalk to the elevators pushing the up button, tapping my foot as I wait for the elevator to come.
" Ana," Jasper starts saying.
" Ah, I don't want to hear it. You guys wouldn't listen to me, and now I am stuck sharing a room with you," I say, storming into the elevator. I walk into the room that I will be sharing with Jasper and Brody for three very long days and realize quickly there is a huge problem. There is one bed.
" Perfect, it just gets better and better," I say, dropping my bags on the bed.
" Damn," Brody says, looking at the bed and me.
" Don't even think about it buddy. You two got us into this mess, you guys can sleep on the floor. Now the first show starts in exactly an hour, so I am going to shower and get ready, if you know what is good for you, you will not bother me," I say, grabbing my duffel bag and walking into the bathroom shutting and locking the door behind me. Okay so maybe I was a little too hard on them, but it was their own faults. If they would have just listened to me, a six hour drive wouldn't have turned into an almost twelve hour one. Yes, almost twelve hours of driving aimlessly around Oregon because they both swore up and down they knew where they were going. Stupid Y chromosomes. I snap on the water to the shower and undress quickly. An hour to get ready for a night of clubs and talking to bands, I will need a damn miracle worker to pull this off.
The club we are sitting in is definitely my type of atmosphere. Very laid back, comforting almost. I sip my sprite and listen to the first band that has the stage. There good, no that's an understatement they are amazing.
" Jasper, we have to talk to this band," I say, and he nods in approval.
" I think your right, they have an amazing sound to them," Jasper says, scribbling something on his napkin.
" They aren't that great," Brody grumbles from his spot next to Jasper.
" Are you kidding me? There sound is awesome, and the lead singer is cute as hell, they are exactly what we are looking for," I say, looking at him. I don't know what has gotten into Brody, but ever since we set foot in this club all he has been doing is grumbling and pouting. I cant help but wonder if perhaps him and Jasper shared some words when I wasn't around. I think over this while the next few bands play, distracting me from my job.
" Ana," Jasper says shaking my shoulder.
" What?" I ask blinking out of my dazed state.
" The shows over, I have a few notes. I'm thinking we should go talk to the first band while we get the chance," he says helping me from my seat.
" Right," I say, following behind him, Brody trailing behind, his mood no better. I don't know why, but something inside of me tells me that a storm is coming, and I cant quiet place my finger on it. I walk through the door that Jasper holds open for me and smile when he places a hand on the small of my back guiding me in the right direction.
" Hey, you arent allowed back here," a huge guy in a white shirt says glaring at us. I shrink back slightly, and cringe at his size. He is bigger than Emmett, like if Emmett were here he would look child size compared to this guy.
" Actually we are," Jasper says, pulling the badge from around his neck. I copy his movement and immediately the guys face relaxes.
" Sorry about that. We have been having problems lately, with people sneaking back here. I'm Gabe, if you need anything, call on me," he says, opening the door for us. I smile at him. " Especially you sugar," he adds with a wink. I giggle at that and walk through the door.
" Geeze Ana, we got back here, didn't have to flirt with the guy," Brody hisses from behind me. I roll my eyes, and knock on the bands door.
" Why don't you lay off her Brody," Jasper growls out and I smile when the door opens.
" Can I help you," the guy who answers asks. I smile at him, immediately recognizing him as the lead singer. I smile at him.
" No, but we can help you," I say, pushing past him into the room. " We are with Twilight Hour record label. We are relatively new, but we know our stuff, and I have to say what I heard from you guys tonight was, astonishing."
" That was amazing. You seriously have such a head for this business Ana," Jasper says laughing as I skip out of the club. For barely being able to sleep the last three days now, I feel weightless and happy.
" Thanks," I say, spinning in circles across the parking lot.
" Wow, so she used the power of cleavage to persuade a mediocre band to come record a few songs, lets give her a cookie," Brody says and I stop mid circle and stare at him dumbfounded.
" What did you just say?" Jasper asks glaring at Brody coldly.
" You heard me Hale. You act like just because she acts like a slut to get what she wants that she did something remarkable," Brody spits and I can feel the blood drain from my face. What the hell has gotten into him.
" You better shut your mouth Brody," Jasper says, stepping closer to him.
" What are you going to do Hale? Hit me?" Brody asks and I stand frozen, watching them. I quickly snap out of it and push between them.
" Knock it off, okay. Brody I don't know what the hell your problem is, but you need to shut your mouth," I say, and that's when I notice it. The same gleam in his eyes that was there the night he attacked me outside of work. " Your high aren't you? Brody what are you doing? You were doing so good."
" As if you care. You are such a tease Ana. You drop into my life, play this sob story because Jasper doesn't love you, lead me on," Brody starts rambling and I step back when I notice he is bunching his fists.
" Brody, you know I never led you on," I say, and he swings out blindly at Jasper, but in his drug induced rage he misses hitting me in the face. Stars explode in front of my eyes as I stumble and fall flat on my butt. I hold my face tears streaming when I notice Jasper and Brody are in a knock out, drag out brawl. I get to my feet slowly and grab Jasper when I have an opening.
" Jasper stop, he is higher than a kite, and he can do some real damage," I say pulling him as hard as I can, listening as he pants, trying to catch his breath.
" What's going on out here?" a gruff voice asks, and I immediately recognize Gabe, the security guard.
" You need to call the police," Jasper says, standing in front of me as Brody paces back and forth shooting menacing looks at us both.
" Jasper no, he just," Jasper cuts me off with one dark glare.
" What the hell happened to her?" Gabe asks, and I smile nervously.
" He happened," Jasper says wrapping an arm around me.
" Seriously Jasper I can speak for myself," I say, and grit my teeth when Gabe and him start a conversation over me. Men. Cant live with them, wish I could live without them.
" Honestly Jasper, I got hit in the face, I'm not dying," I say as I lay back against the pillows he propped up for me. He chuckles lightly and sits next to me, handing me a bag of ice.
" Just shut up and let me take care of this. How long have you known that Brody has a problem?" Jasper asks, moving my hair away from my face to look at the damage that has been done.
" Not even a week. The day that we found out about this trip, he came to talk to me. Told me he was getting help, that he changed. I cant help but to feel a bit sorry for him," I say, wincing at Jasper's light touch to my face.
" This is going to be bad come morning," Jasper murmurs looking at me.
" Jasper," I say, leaning up lifting my face to his.
" Ana, wait," he says and I kiss him, instantly silencing him. I don't know what it is, or why I did it. What I know is that no matter how much I deny it to everyone else, I am not over Jasper, I never will be, and maybe I am playing a dangerous game with my heart, but its mine to play with as I see fit.