Author's Note: Hello all! I know its been a long time, but life has been insane. Anyways, I dont own Twilight or its characters, obviously, but I do own Ana and Jade. I hope that you guys like this chapter, but if you dont I will understand. Im a little rusty but I have BIG plans for the next chapter. So please, Read, Enjoy, and Review! Love ya guys!
Chapter 42: The Walls Fall Down
" I accept chaos. I am not sure whether it accepts me. I know some people are terrified of the bomb. But then some people are terrified to be seen carrying a modern screen magazine. Experience teaches us that silence terrifies peoples the most."-Bob Dylan
" This is impossible, I am never going to catch up. Jade, what am I going to do?" I whine loudly slamming my text book closed. She roles her eyes at me, and hands me a bottle of water before sitting down across from me.
" Ana, I love you, but your driving me insane. Just step away from the homework," Jade says, sitting down across from me.
" I can't Jade, if I do, I will never be able to catch up, and then I will fail freshman year," I say, banging my head lightly against the table,
" What's with Ana?" Emmett asks, as he and Rosalie walk into the kitchen hand in hand. Jade snickers slightly before turning to look at them.
" Homework overload," Jade says, laughing as Emmett dramatically gasps and grabs his chest.
" Say it aint so. Not my Ana-Banana," Emmett says, grabbing me in a tight hug.
" Ouch, Em, loosen up please," I say, gasping for air.
" You know what you need. Actually you know what we all need?" Rosalie asks, hopping up gracefully to sit on the counter.
" What?" I ask cautiously.
" A night out. Like an honest to goodness, good clean fun, night out," Rosalie says, smiling broadly.
" You guys go ahead, I have school work to finish," I say weakly, turning back to the table.
" Ana, you know what Dr. Emerson said," Jade says, her voice growing light with concern. I roll my eyes because I know that Jade's right. Dr. Emerson, the therapist I have been seeing told me that I need to get back into a regular routine. Not shy away from being with my friends.
" I know Jade. Its just," I start saying, turning to look at her. I see Rosalie, Emmett, and Jade all staring back at me with the same glimmer of hope and worry in their eyes. " Okay fine, but if I fail, I will hold each of you personally accountable."
" Woo hoo," Emmett calls out excitedly dancing around the kitchen, I laugh lightly at that before Jade and Rosalie lead me up stairs.
" Really you guys, this much make-up and hairspray isn't needed if we are just going out to dance and have a couple drinks," I whine, fidgeting dramatically in my seat, knowing that it would annoy Jade.
" Annalisa if you don't stop moving I will cause you bodily harm with this hear curling iron," Jade whispers evilly into my ear. I stop moving smiling softly. I know that their intentions are good, but it doesn't stop me from feeling somewhat begrudged. Ever since I admitted to having PTSD they everyone in the house has treated me like a child. I love that my new family cares about me, but sometimes it can become a bit overwhelming. I lose myself in thought and come to when Alice snaps in my face causing me to jump slightly.
" What?" I ask, looking up at Alice, Jade, and Rosalie.
" The hair and make-up portion of Ana's great comeback is complete. Now its on to wardrobe. My personal area of expertise," Alice says, as she helps me to my feet pushing me into the closet, closing the door behind us. I stand shyly as she looks at me closely. She turns wordlessly to the clothes and starts pushing through the racks of clothes.
" Alice, really, I'm sure that I can pick out my own clothes," I say, sighing heavily when she pushes a pink and black dress into my hands.
" I know that you can silly, but humor us okay. Now get dressed, we'll be downstairs waiting for you," she says, opening and shutting the closet door quietly behind her. Maybe I am being overly sensitive about the whole thing, I think to myself as I step out of the closet and into the room. I stare at myself in the mirror and smile. It's been a long time since I felt like a girl. The make-up, the hair, the pretty dress.
" Ana, come on its time to go," Emmett yells up the stairs. I open the bedroom door and almost run head long into Jasper, whose hand was raised ready to knock on my door.
" Hello," I say, nervously pulling at the hem of my dress.
" You look beautiful," Jasper says, giving me a quick hug. I stiffen slightly before giving him a tense hug back.
" Well, we better get down their before Emmett comes for us," I say, walking past him and down the stairs. I can't shake the feeling of guilt as I step into the cold air.
Two hours and three drinks later guilt is the last thing on my mind. I smile brightly when Jade comes and sits down next to me.
" Having fun?" Jade yells through the noise leaning towards me.
" Yeah," I yell back going back to sipping my drink happily.
" Come dance with us," Jade says, pulling me to my feet. I falter for a minute, before letting her drag me to the rest of the group.
" Aww, yay, Ana's here," Alice says, bouncing happily to the beat of the song. I get lost in the music dancing happily while my head swims. Somehow I got further and further away from my friends. I turn around and accidentally bump into someone.
" Oh, sorry," I say, looking up into a pair of warm brown eyes.
" No problem gorgeous," the voice says, " Want to do dance?" I look around for someone familiar before just shrugging my shoulders.
" Sure why not. My name's Ana," I yell over the music.
" Chance," my new dance partner says, pulling me closer to him. Something in my head tells me that I am being watched so I look around. I am just about to convince myself that I am simply going crazy until I catch Jasper glaring at me. I immediately step away from Chance, getting ready to mumble some apology and make my exit, when Jasper steps up to the first clearly intoxicated female and start dancing with her. I stare at him as he looks over her shoulder at me. The tears are imminent as I push my way through the crowd of people. I almost make it to the door when someone catches me by the elbow spinning me around. Jasper stares at me anger burning in his eyes.
" Let me go," I say pulling my arm from his grip.
" We're going to talk about this Ana. We can either do it here, or at home, but you aren't running from this anymore," Jasper says, grabbing my arm again. I seriously consider screaming but instead I keep quiet. I slam into Jasper's car fumbling with my seat belt. I click it on crossing my arms tightly across my chest as Jasper drives towards home, knowing the whole time this isn't going to be fun.
As soon as we pull into the driveway I slam out of the car and run for the door.
" Not so fast," Jasper says, grabbing me tightly.
" I swear to God Jasper, if you don't let me go I will hurt you," I say, pulling away from his grasp.
" What is with you Ana? Ever since you woke up from the accident you wont talk to me, you wont even come near me half of the time. I thought you loved me," Jasper says, staring at me incredulously.
" What's with me? So now this is my fault?" I ask, turning to look at me. " I waited for you for so long, and it wasn't until I was about to die that you come around? How is that fair? So I'm just supposed to forget everything that happened before, because you had a change of heart?"
" Ana. I know that I cant change the things that I did before but all I am asking is for you to give me the chance to prove to you that I love you," he says, stepping towards me. I step back cautiously and before I can turn and head for my room, Jasper grabs me into a tight hug. I feel his head resting on mine, breathing deeply.
" Please, Ana, just let me show you." I start crying into his shoulder, knowing that the wall that I had built around myself is crumbling steadily. I don't protest when Jasper easily picks me up in his arms and carries me upstairs and into his room. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I am finally exactly where I'm supposed to be.