Author's Note: Okay, so as always, I'm not Stephanie Meyer, so Twilight and all of its glorious charactars are not mine to claim, but Ana and Jade are all mine. Okay, so to be honest as of lately, I have been feeling rather blue, and down about my writing, and I seriously considered quitting the story, that is until I got the most insanely awesome comment from Amooo'Cullen.x Seriously thank you for the comment it totally made my day, and I hope that you enjoy this chapter. I also have one huge request, if anyone can find quotes that they think fits the story, send them to me on here, I want to make a video to go with the story, and I want the quotes to kind of be filler's. Anyways enough of me, on to Chapter 44! As always, Read/Enjoy/Review!!!!
Chapter 44: Eleven Weeks
" Maybe if my heart stops beating, it wont hurt this much, and never will I have to answer again to anyone, Please don't get me wrong, Because I'll never let this go, but I can't find the words to tell you, I don't want to be alone, But now I feel like I don't know you,"-Paramore, Never Let This Go.
Keeping this whole secret of me and Jasper already being married is having a strange effect on me. The first week, I jumped whenever someone said my name, which thoroughly entertained Emmett, seeing as how he saw fit to whisper my name in my ear when I wasn't aware he was there just to see me fly into the air. The second week I couldn't stop smiling like an idiot. Everywhere I went, this stupid grin went with me. By the third week all I could think of doing was sleeping, and now it seems the guilt of keeping such a monumental secret from not only my mother, but Jasper's parents has decided to manifest itself into the nastiest stomach flu I have ever experienced. I roll out of the bed Jasper and I share, and make my way weakly to the door, bracing myself quickly trying to calm my rolling stomach. I open the door and head down stairs where soft voices come from the kitchen.
" Morning half-pint," Emmett says, waving a spatula at me. " Eggs?" He asks, and I wrinkle my nose in disgust at the thought of food.
" No, please, no food," I say, opening the refrigerator door, pulling out a cold water bottle. I sit down at the table slowly sipping the water.
" You don't look so good Ana, how long have you had this flu?" Rosalie asks, pressing a hand to my forehead.
" I don't know, about a week. I just feel so tired, and my stomach feels like its back on the rollercoaster in Vegas, and forgot to get off," I say, laying my head against the table. Emmett comes to the table carrying two plates full of eggs, bacon and toast, which normally would have my stomach growling, instead it has my stomach pitching as I scramble to the closest bathroom one hand over my mouth. I barely manage to get into the bathroom before I lose what little I had left in my stomach. I slide against the bathroom wall, pulling my knees, closing my eyes. What is wrong with me. I have never been one to get sick, and there isn't a flu going around, I would know. Jade has been sure to warn all of us, of any sickness that was making it's way around campus. I rub my raw stomach and think about all that it could possibly be. I haven't eaten anything strange, haven't been around anyone sick. I open my eyes slowly as I realize there is one very real possibility that I had somehow overlooked.
An hour later, I am sitting in the bathroom looking at the small test in my hand staring in disbelief at the positive sign staring back at me. How can this be? We were careful, always careful. I close my eyes fighting the tears, trying to suppress the bubbling hysteria. A small knock on the door comes, and I barely hear it.
" Ana, are you okay? You've been in there a while," Alice's voice comes through the door. I don't answer clutching the test to my chest crying silently. The sobs shaking my shoulders as I bury my head into my arms. I hear the door open and close. " Ana." I look up at Alice, and her smile fades slowly before she rushes towards me sitting across from me so she can look at me.
" Alice," I cry out, trying to swallow the tears.
" What's the matter, what's wrong?" she asks, and I just shake my head, handing her the test. She looks at it for a minute apparent shock on her face.
" I'm pregnant," I say, " That's why I've been so tired, why I have been feeling like I was sick with the flu."
" How late are you?" she asks, setting the test down on the counter.
" I don't know, everything lately has been so crazy that I haven't really been paying much attention to it," I say, taking a deep breath to calm myself. " The last period I remember having was when we went to Forks for Christmas, so what almost two and a half months or go, give or take a week." it's silent for a long time, before Alice says anything else.
" What are you going to do?" she asks, and I close my eyes on a new wave of tears.
" I don't know. I never thought," I say, but I stop myself when someone knocks on the door. Jasper's excited voice comes through the door.
" Ana are you in there? I have some exciting news," Jasper says, and I immediately scramble to my feet, shoving the pregnancy test box in he drawer.
" Just a second," I say, splashing my face with water. I open the door slowly, and smile half heartedly at him. I cant help but notice the ear to ear grin on his face.
" Hello love, oh hey Alice," he says, looking perplexed for a second as to why we are in the bathroom together. " I have great news, oh Alice stay, you will want to hear this too," he says, stopping Alice from leaving the room.
" What has you so excited?" I ask, faking an enthusiastic voice for him. When really my head and my heart are screaming to just tell him. Let the words fall out of my mouth.
" Okay, so do you remember that internship for that recording label in London that I applied for a few months ago? The one that would be like a student exchange program for a year starting this June?" he asks, and I nod slowly. Of course I remember, its all he talked about for a long time. How excited he would be if he got it, what a wonderful opportunity it would be.
" Yes," I say, nodding slowly.
" I got it, baby I got," he says wrapping me in a tight hug. " Ana what's the matter? I thought you would be happy. That means a whole year in London, just me and you."
" Jasper, I cant go to London with you," I say, my voice sounding hollow and far away, almost foreign.
" What? Why? We're married you cant expect me to leave my wife here for a year do you?" he asks, stepping away from me looking confused by my lack of excitement.
" I cant go because I'm pregnant," I say, the words tumbling out. The silence that falls over the room is staggering.
" No, you cant be. We were careful, every single time," he say, looking at me accusingly. " It must be a mistake."
I watch as Alice skirts past Jasper, luckily able to escape this situation.
" It's not a mistake Jasper. It explains everything. Why I've been so tired, why I've been getting sick for the last week," I say, sitting on the bathroom counter.
" How late are you?" he asks, and I blush deeply.
" I don't know, about two months or so," I say, and he looks at me closely. Something in him changes.
" How do I know its mine?" he asks, and I stare at him in shock.
" You don't mean that," I whisper, looking at him through tear clouded eyes.
" Well, how do I know?" he asks, and I look at him any heart ache I feel being quickly replaced with rage.
" You know how you know. You were my first Jasper, the only guy I had ever been with. There was no one before you, no one after you, and if you don't believe that then why did you marry me?" I ask, screaming as I open the drawer and pull out the test slamming it against his chest. " The baby is yours Jasper. But it is more than apparent that some stupid internship in London is not only more important than your wife, but its more important than your unborn child," I say, shoving past him running for my room. I slam the door behind me, locking the door tightly behind me. I slide against the door and curl up in a ball laying a hand on my stomach. Jasper may think this is a mistake, but it isn't to me. I will love this child, even if he doesn't.
" Jade you didn't have to come with me," I say, fidgeting nervously on the examination table. Even as the words come out of my mouth, I know that I wouldn't have been able to do this alone, and seeing as how my husband and I haven't spoken in a week, Jade was the only logical choice to make.
" Of course I did. So when are you going to tell your mom?" she asks me, and I roll my eyes.
" I don't know, I guess hiding it until I have the baby is kind of out of the question isn't it?" I ask, and before Jade could crack some joke to lighten the mood a knock sounds on the door.
" Hello, Ana," the doctor says, extending a hand to me. I smile and shake her hand. " Hello Dr. Jamison," I say, taking a deep breath, hoping I can make it through this check up. I lay back against the examination, letting the doctor do what she has to do, all the time wondering where Jasper is, and if he is thinking about me and the baby.
" Aww, would you look at your baby, already gorgeous," Jade says, staring at the ultrasound pictures. I smile at her. The baby has fingers, and toes, and I heard the heart beat. I drop my teary eyes to my lap. " Ana, he'll come around." I feel Jade squeeze my hand slightly.
" What if he doesn't Jade? This was never the plan. How can I take care of this baby by myself?" I ask, tears sliding steadily down my cheeks. I grow increasingly embarrassed as I realize that I am sitting in the middle of a restaurant crying. I wipe my face discreetly shaking my head showing Jade that I don't want to talk about this anymore.
" Have you thought of names?" she asks, quickly changing the subject.
" No, haven't really thought about it. I think I will wait until I find out what I'm having before I think about names," I say, easily sliding into the conversation and forgetting the heartache I feel temporarily.
I sit with Alice in the bedroom we used to share, thumbing through What To Expect When Your Expecting when my phone starts ringing. I look at the caller I.d and see that it's my mom. My heart starts pounding roughly against my chest.
" Hey Mom," I say, making my voice as upbeat as possible.
" Hey sweet girl. How are you doing? I haven't heard from you in a while, just wanted to check on you," she says, and I smile. Something about talking to my mom always puts everything at ease.
" Sorry Mom, things have just been, crazy," I say, pacing around the room.
" Well, that's why I called. I think you and everyone should come down here for spring break. That's next week you know?" she says, and I try and scramble to come up with a reason why that would be a bad idea, but instead I agree with her.
" Yeah, okay, I will talk to everyone about it tonight at dinner and we will work out the details, and I will call you tomorrow. I have to go now Mom, got to get back to studying," I say, " Love you too, bye." I look over at Alice, who has a wicked grin on her face.
" Should I get everyone together?" she asks, and I just shake my head.
" No, I'm going to cook dinner then I will talk to everyone about it, besides if you guys come with me, the less likely it will be that my Mom will kill me when she finds out that I'm pregnant," I say, walking from the room.
" Mmm, it smells so good in hear Ana-banana," Emmett says, peeking under the lid of one of the pots on the stove.
" Good. Now go get everyone, dinner's ready," I say, turning back to the sink to wash my hands.
" He'll come around Ana, and if he doesn't I'll kick his ass for you," he says, hugging me lightly from behind.
" Thanks Em," I say, turning to look at him. " Now go get everyone for dinner, or you get none."
" Ugh, low blow little sister, low blow. Hey Everyone come and get dinner or there will be none left for you," he yells, and I laugh at the sound of rushing feet coming from every direction.
" Mmm, Ana's spaghetti, what did we do to get so lucky?" Edward asks, looking around the room.
" Nothing, actually I made it as a bribe," I say, sitting down to eat.
" Bribe away," Rosalie says, filling up her plate. I smile until I notice Jasper walking in.
" Uhm so, my Mom called, and she wants all of us to come to California for spring break," I say, " I know that you guys probably all have plans already, but it would be a great help to me if you guys would come. I figure we could leave next Friday after classes, be there early Saturday morning. We could go to the beach, and Disneyland, come on guys please," I say, looking around at everyone.
" You don't have to beg Ana, we have no problem coming, if it means you and the little one wont suffer too much of the wrath sure to come when your mom finds out," Alice says, and everyone murmurs in agreement. I smile and sit back in relief, smiling at everyone around me. My smile falters slightly when Jasper catches my eyes, and I look away quickly. I fall into Emmett's excited conversation about Disneyland with the feeling that I'm being watched.
Later, when the house is quiet I sit in the living room curled up on the couch watching the rain fall steadily outside of the window.
" Hey," Jasper says, and I sit up to see him looking at me from the door way.
" Hey," I say back, turning back to watch the window.
" Ana, we have to talk about this," he says, coming to sit on the table in front of me. " I know I didn't have the best reaction, but it just caught me off guard."
" You think it didn't catch me off guard? I never planned this Jasper, ever. I wasn't going to be that girl, the one who got pregnant in college, and here I am. You let me down Jasper," I say, straining to control the tears that are building inside of me.
" I know Ana, and I'm sorry. It's just, I have this amazing opportunity, and," I cut him off before he can finish his statement.
" Then take it. Go. Go to London, do your internship," I say, getting up to walk from the room. " Just know this. I wont be here waiting for you when you get back." I leave the room before he can react, and maybe that was slightly childish, but I'm not thinking only about me anymore, its about the baby now too.