Indiscriminate Happenings
Fandom: xxxHoLiC
Characters/Pairing: Doumeki, Watanuki
Prompt:11:7- Sober
Rating: T
Chapter Genre: Angst/Suspense/Borderline Romance
Summary: Requested by ranmayaku-neko; There are so many factors, so many variables, that he doesn't know whether he should give in or if he should endure. Then, the solution provides itself.
I

Watanuki drew a deep, shaky breath, fighting not to grab the phone, hide under his covers, and call Doumeki. He glanced over at the annoying red numbers on the alarm clock beside his futon and nearly whimpered when they read four AM. That meant he still had three hours of panic and paranoia to endure before he could be with the taller boy and feel safe -secure- again. Exhaustion tugged at his eyelids, painfully dry eyes wanted nothing more than to sleep after nearly a week straight of restless nights.

The insistent tapping at his window increased, sensing his despair and feeding off it, swallowing all of his negative emotions and, all at once, magnifying them until it was painful. He curled closer to himself, gnawing on his knuckles; a newly acquired habits that left the backs of his hands raw and bleeding in the morning. His fear constricted his throat until he felt as though he would choke on it, small coughs wracking his body. His heart pounded, skipping beats and small trembles shook his body. The rapping stopped, leaving silence in its wake, and he wished it would start again, every creak and shift of the building making him jump and yelp.

Then it came again, at the wall, right above his head, accompanied by the seductive whisper of the more clever spirits, attempting to entice him outside. Watanuki backed away, scuttling until his shoulders hit the wall with a light thump.

He glanced back at the phone and nearly caved.

Violently shaking his head he stood up, legs wobbling almost too harshly to remain upright, and staggered into his tiny bathroom, running the water and trying to force out the sickening feeling radiating from exterior of the building. The words 'Come and play' barely caressed his ears, muffled by the wards given to him by Yuuko but sticking in his head, muting his sense of reality and working to remove his inhibitions. He slummed over the sink, hands cupping the rushing liquid and, raising them to his face, he moved his head down to meet them, cutting off his air supply.

He was startled out of his reverie by an ominous prickle at the outer reaches of his mind.

"Doumeki." He was ashamed, because he wasn't strong enough to fight the malevolent demons outside and he knew that if he let himself go the only one to blame was himself, for his weakness. "H-help me."

He slid down to the floor, resting his burning forehead against the cool wood of the cabinet, chest heaving and breathing so fast he was nearly hyperventilating. Struggling to keep himself under control he crawled -he screamed at himself, berating himself for being in such a pitiful situation- out back to his room, the rising sun stinging his burning eyes. He checked the time and almost wailed when he saw that only five minutes had passed since the last time. He dragged himself to his futon and coiled into himself, muttering the same line to himself over and over again, not pausing once in his mantra.

"I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe, I'm safe..."

He tried to numb himself, surrounding himself with memories of the people he had met and spent time with, most of them prominently featuring Doumeki. Watanuki bit his lip, jaw clenching so hard on the flesh that his teeth punctured it, blood seeping out of the wound. The fabric of his pajama's absorbed it, dying the light blue shirt a dark red that he didn't notice, wetly clinging to his collar bone.

He didn't notice his window sliding open and closed or hear the soft footsteps creep closer to his bed.

"Oi."

Watanuki's fingers gripped his ears, bending them and covering them, his mind racing too fast and far too boggled to realize that it wasn't merely his memories speaking to him. Doumeki knelt, gently prying his hands away from his head and pulling the shivering boy from his fetal position and hugging him. Bi-coloured eyes flew open, staring up at him, clouded with tears and desperation. Soft hiccups squeaked out and Doumeki thought that he could see all of the hairline fractures littered Watanuki's fragile mentality snap and break, unleashing the torrents of agony and loneliness that had been bottled for too many years.

"Don't let it get me, please Doumeki, I don't want to disappear!"

Watanuki was stronger than he looked.

Doumeki stared at the Seer with sober eyes, calmly stroking down Watanuki's back, following the path of his spine and feeling the ridges of the bone against his fingertips. His head dipped to press against Watanuki's, softly murmuring comforting words in his ears, hoping they registered through the smaller teens sobs. Tears and blood soaked into his top but Doumeki dismissed it, too wrapped up in his task to notice of be disturbed by the blood.

They remained as they were for an unknown amount of time, stationary until finally the tears slowed and stopped, leaving an exhausted Watanuki wrapped in Doumeki's arms, drifting in and out of consciousness. Half asleep and groggy, Watanuki muttered something that Doumeki only just caught.

"Why are you so perfect?"

"I'm not," the archer replied, affectionately petting the dark haired head. "People only think I am."

"Liar."

They didn't go to school that day.
II
...So. I had a lot of things going through my head when I listened to this for the first time, and it really does parallel these two in many ways ("Sober" by P!nk). However, only a couple things came out the way I wanted them to... Ergh. Especially the ending. I didn't know what to do, so this is what you get; ranmayaku-neko,I hope you're satisfied with this. I tried, but I don't know if it justice... Huh. WooT for four day long weekends~! ^^ Well, five day including Friday, but I was sick, so yeah... :)