Chapter 5

Potter enters first and I follow.

"Harry Potter!" One house elf shouts, latching onto Harry's leg.

"Hey, Dobby."

"The usual, Harry Potter sir?"

"Sure and Dobby, I told you to just call me Harry."

Dobby shook his head, his ears slapping his cheeks. "Oh no, Sir! That would be too much for Dobby!"

Harry shrugged at me.

"What would Master Snape like?" another elf asked me. I request a chicken breast and sit at the table. Potter sits across from me.

"Chicken?"

"Why so curious? It's food."

"No, I kind of thought you feasted on human blood or something. A lot of people think you're a vampire. You know, with the billowing robes and all the black and the pale skin."

I smirk. "That's still going around?"

"Still?"

"It was a popular rumor about me back at school that I was a vampire or a dhampir."

"What's a dhampir?"

"You know what a half-giant is?"

"Yes."

"A dhampir is the same as a half-giant except one parent was a vampire."

"Like Blade."

I nod. "Exactly like Blade. Sadly, I am neither. I just so happen to be a recluse and when you're down in the dungeons so long and rarely have the time to go out or even the desire at times, you tend to be pale. Pomfrey keeps harping on me about it, forcing vitamin D supplements down my throat."

Potter sticks his tongue out, making a face.

"At this point it's pretty much impossible to go outside without risking getting sunburned or freckling."

He shakes his head. "No. No!"

"So with that in mind—"

"Stay inside! Or wear sunscreen!"

"Potter, settle down. You're embarrassing yourself."

"Who's going to see? It's just you, me, and a bunch of house elves."

I shake my head. A plate with two sandwich halves and chips are placed in front of him alongside a bottle of butterbeer.

He doesn't touch them. Is he actually daring to be courteous? I'm sure he'd have dove into it by now. "Potter, eat."

"But that'd be rude."

"I'm telling you it is fine—See." A roast chicken breast and salad slid onto the table with a glass of water.

He picks up a sandwich half. "It still would have been rude not to wait."

"I doubt you learned that from—"

"Hermione."

"Ah."

"No. The Weasley's are great but they're way too chaotic."

Seven children, six being boys, whacky father, temperamental mother…yeah, I can imagine the chaos without even trying.

"Try teaching all of them."

"What?!"

"Bill Weasley was one of my many first year students my first year teaching."

"Well…you're down to the last two. How does that make you feel?"

I glare at him, stabbing my chicken with a fork. "Shut up."

#

I pound on the door of Albus' office.

"Come in."

I open, striding inside. "Albus, I c—"

Potter is standing over Albus' pensieve. Did he notice I addressed Albus casually? I try not to do so in front of students.

"Harry," Albus said, patting his shoulder, "we'll continue again later, shall we?"

"Yes, Sir," he said, heading out.

The door closes.

"What was that?"

"Private lessons."

"Then why am I teaching him occlumency if you are doing the same?"

"I'm teaching…history. Occlumency is your subject with Harry alone."

"History?"

"Is there a reason you've come, Severus? Or were you intending to try weeding out of teaching occlumency again?"

"I can't teach him."

"He's not unteachable Severus."

"That's not it."

"Then why?" Albus crosses his arms, his eyebrows nearly pressed together. "What is bothering you so much? You look quite troubled."

I swallow. "I don't know where to begin with what's wrong. It's not even his fault. I love him."

"Well, that's different. Unexpected, but not entirely—"

"No. Albus, I'm in love with him."

His eyebrows shoot to his hairline. "Oh."

"I can't teach him."

"You can."

"I can't. Not anymore. In a regular classroom? Yes. But privately? No."

Albus took a seat behind his desk. I sit in one of the chairs facing him. "To be honest, I suspected you might have since sometime last year," he admitted. "When did you realize yourself?"

"About a week and a half ago."

"Huh." A twinkle appeared in his eye. "Interesting."

"Don't you dare do whatever it is your thinking of," I hiss.

"Why not? He'll be an adult soon."

Oh, Hell. "Albus, that is beside the point. He's still underage and he's still a student."

"Not for much longer."

"Blast it, you old fart! Do you find this amusing?!"

He smiled, the twinkle intensifying. "Actually, I do. It would be most amusing to see how it all plays out."

I know he has a love for the dramatic, but to completely disregard common sense like this for the sake of a little drama is a madness I thought he'd recognize to be madness!

Apparently, I've underestimated how much of a nutcase he really is.

"My advice," he said, entwining his fingers together hand resting them on the desk. "Is that you tell Harry how you feel about him."

And I can name exactly…one hundred seventy-two point five very good reasons not to. To list all those reasons would be more tedious than they should.

"The lemon drops have addled your brain. What are they filled with? Speed? Crack? Belladonna? Albus, telling him would be bad. Very bad. I can name several people who, unlike you, would have strung me up by my toes by now. My pinkie toes, in fact."

"Then it is good you came to me first, is it?"

"Albus, take this off my hands. I am going insane and I don't know if I'll be able to hold myself together if I have to keep going on—"

"But you haven't."

"I realized over a week ago that I love Potter!" I stand and pace the room. "Aren't you worried I could attack him? I might. I am telling you so that you can get him away from me. You're his guardian! Do something for the love of Merlin!"

"I don't think you will, Severus. I understand it's painful, but if you're really that afraid of what you might do to him, then I am convinced that you will do nothing that will harm him."

I stop pacing, letting my arms hang at my sides and my tight facial features relax into a slack-jawed look.

"I'm a death eater."

Albus is silent. He blinks at me and I stare at him.

"Not at heart. You've never truly been a death eater," he says quietly. I almost can't hear him. "Not ever since I've known you. You are smart and cunning. Ambitious and driven. Once you put your mind to something you stick with it. You always have. You know your limits and you don't cross the line. I am glad you had the courage to come tell me rather than shoulder this alone. I'm not worried about what feelings you harbor for Harry. I am, however, worried that Voldemort may discover it. I find that to be something much more worrisome."

I sit down again.

If Voldemort were to find out, I'll be killed, deemed a traitor to him and the Death Eaters.

"Will you be able to continue your work as a spy knowing that?"

I don't answer immediately. "Yes."

"Are you sure?"

"You need someone in his circle. I have not let you down yet. I have no intention of letting you down. If my feelings for the boy are discovered, then they are discovered and I am willing to pay the price whatever it is."

I stand, unnerved with seeing Albus cry. He's an emotional bloke. However, I am not and tend to be very uncomfortable in such moments.

"Good night, Albus."

"Good night."