Disclaimer: Sea Patrol and all of its characters belong to its creators Hal McElroy, Di McElroy and Sea Patrol Productions Pty Limited, Film Finance Corporation Australia Limited and The Pacific Film & Television Commission Pty Limited. I'm just borrowing a few of the characters for the purposes of this story.
Ok, just a little bit of an explanation before I start this part. There's quite a bit more angst in this bit and I hope I've stayed on the right side of over describing things so its not too cheesy but I'm never quite sure. I'm also not too sure whether Mike is completely IC in this bit so I just thought I would explain the way I see him. I see Mike as being generally quite emotionally repressed, he seems to me to limit his 'talking' to the smouldering/ jealous glances that we frequently see from him on SP (which I love) but he always stops short of actually talking about how he really feels. Therefore the basis for his character in this fic is that he usually bottles up his emotions but given the right trigger…. In this case an intuitive sister.
Thanks to everyone who reviewed the last part, it means a lot.
Home At Last part 4
As Mike heard a car drawing up outside, he made his way to the front door opening it in time to hear a cry of "Uncle Mike, Uncle Mike" coming from the open backseat door of the car that had just arrived. He made his way down the path to greet his guests and was soon rewarded by a five year old whirlwind rushing into his legs and holding on tight while still shouting "Uncle Mike" at the top of his voice.
"Whoa", he said staggering slightly to regain his balance and suppressing a flinch as a stab of pain shot through his injured leg, "hey there buddy, anyone who think you were pleased to see me" he continued smiling down at his nephew before lifting him up into his arms and settling him on his hip, away from his injured side. As his nephew gripped on he turned to his sister.
"Hi sis, good journey?" He asked.
"Sorry about that" she said indicating the bundle now ensconced in this arms, "he's been looking forward to this for weeks and then today well I thought at one point he might explode from excitement! It was all I could do to get him to sit still long enough to do up his seat belt but other than that, yes it wasn't a bad journey thanks."
"Well come on in, we'll deal with the bags later" Mike told her leading the way.
***
"Well I think it's about someone's bed time," she announced after they had finished dinner, noticing her son trying to stifle a yawn.
"Not yet mummy please, I not tired, I big boy now," Jack asked pleadingly.
"Really, well I suppose you could stay up" his mum stated as if considering it.
"Really" he asked hopefully, only to have his hopes dashed again almost straight away.
"Yes, but if you do, we might not have time to go and see Uncle Mikes ship in the morning as people who go to bed late don't want to get up in the morning. So it's your choice," she told her son knowing that she had him on that one.
"Ok, I go bed now mummy," he replied looking slightly crestfallen but not wanting to miss out on his trip.
"Good boy" she said ruffling his hair, "now say good night to Uncle Mike."
"Night Uncle Mike, we go see ship in morning?" he asked checking that he was going to get his reward.
"Yes we'll go to see the Hammersley first thing in the morning; we've got lots of new things to show you" Mike told him smiling as the little boy began to make his way out of the room, referring to the fact that Jack hadn't yet seen the new updated Hammersley.
***
"Ok, that's him down for the night now spill" his sister commanded coming back into the lounge where Mike was waiting.
"What" he asked slightly perplexed.
"There's no use trying to hide from me Michael Flynn, you know perfectly well what I mean, I haven't seen you this happy since you met that woman when you were doing your enforced stint as an instructor," his sister told him.
"I don't know what you mean," he stated, trying to avoid giving his sister any more ammunition but in fact simply subconsciously falling back into what was a familiar pattern for them when it came to such matters.
"Oh come on, you were miserable as hell at first at being taken away from your precious patrol boats and then you meet her and it was like a complete transformation, just like now. Now what was her name again?" she queried innocently, trying to trip him up.
"I don't remember telling you I was seeing anyone back then," he replied hesitantly, still trying to stall.
"Mikey, please you might not have said anything specific, you never do, but it was obvious, it always has been. It was in the tone of your voice on the few times you managed to bring her name into the conversation for what you no doubt thought were completely innocent reasons and in your face when we met up, just like it is now," she told him authoritatively. "So what was her name?" she repeated not letting him off the hook for a second.
"Kate" he replied softly, tacitly admitting that his sister had been right on that occasion, not seeing the inherent trap in letting on about the name of an old girlfriend, but in hindsight he should have known better.
There was a slight pause where if you had looked closely he was sure you would have seen the cogs turning in his sister's head as she put 2 and 2 together. "Oh Mikey no" she uttered.
"What now" he asked slightly aggravated, he had forgotten that his sister seemed to have practically psychic powers when it came to his love life.
"Kate, that's the name of your XO isn't it?" she asked suspiciously.
"Yes, I understand it's quite a common name," he told her.
"I thought the navy had rules against that sort of thing," she challenged him.
"So now you're an expert on Naval Regulations too" he replied starting to get defensive.
"Not particularly, but I do try to take a passing interest in your life," she fired back at him.
"Well to me it seems like your making an awful lot of assumptions, just because I look happy and I had an old girlfriend years ago who had the same first name as my current XO, you put 2 and 2 together and make 5, its hardly concrete proof now is it" he contended, not willing to give up quite yet.
"I know it's been a while Mike but you're forgetting I know you," she replied, sighing at how easily they seemed to be reverting to their teenage selves.
At this he dropped his head and ran his fingers through his hair looking to buy some time, knowing she had him on the ropes so to speak and that she wasn't going to let up anytime soon. It was true he had never been able to hide anything from her, despite the fact that she was several years younger than him, even as a teenager she had always been able to guess what was going on with him. It was something that had driven him mad then and it looked like that was going to be making a return appearance now. So realising that continuing to deny it would only unnecessarily prolong matters, the only response he had left to give was "it's my life", in the vain hope that she might break the habit of a lifetime and accept that this meant the subject was closed.
He had no such luck though when she responded after a moments pause with "Yes it is your life and your life is the Navy; I know it must be lonely sometimes but that's no reason to risk everything."
After a couple of minutes of nothing but a stony silence from her brother she continued "when you're on your own, your mind can play tricks on you, it highlights the good times and just skips over the bad, making it easy to fall back into old habits; if anyone knows that I should," she finished making an attempt to reach out to him and make him understand that she was just trying to help him.
"what so now you just think I'm doing this because I'm bored, nice to know you have such a high opinion of me," he retorted derisively, his rising sense of irritation causing him not to realise that he had just effectively admitted to what he had been trying to hide.
"Ok, well if I'm wrong, explain it to me" she goaded him.
Realising that she really wasn't going to let it go as he hoped, and feeling the need to justify it to her, he took a deep breath, trying to get his temper under control before he started. "I know what you're thinking that it's just some fling like all the others have been but it's not like that, it's so much more than that. Yes I love my job, and maybe mum even accepts what I do now that she can boast that I'm an officer and about how well I've done, but its like you said a few years ago what's the point if there isn't anyone there to share it. You can't have it both ways." He could feel his voice rising so not wanting to disturb or scare Jack, he paused for a moment, taking a couple more deep breaths to help him suppress the temptation to shout.
"Look when I was younger, all the jokes about me being married to the Navy were probably pretty much true and so no-one else really got a look in but … well she came the closest to getting beyond that. When we broke up 5 years ago it was because I still couldn't quite get passed that, … I don't know maybe I just wasn't ready then, I still thought our careers were more important but… over the years since I've come to realise that I've never been so wrong in my life." He paused again struggling with the unfamiliar emotions that were coursing through him, never having been the type to talk this deeply to anyone about this type of stuff.
Taking a few more deep breaths he forced himself to continue, feeling that now he had started he might as well finish. "So more recently she's the reason none of the others have stuck. I tried to move on, to focus back on my career but I was just fooling myself, any relationships I've had were just distractions; deep down I was miserable at best. Even when she came back into my life I just carried on with the pretence. I thought that I could maintain a professional distance…. That I had to for the sake of our careers or it would all have been for nothing. But seeing her with someone else it was just torture and I…I just couldn't do it anymore." He stopped again, dropping his head and just looking at his hands clasped in his lap for a moment, before looking back up at her and resolutely continuing.
"So yes maybe it is a risk but its more than worth it, being with her is more than worth it," he emphasised.
"Anyway I've done everything I set out to achieve and anything else is just a bonus. Besides there's nowhere else for me to go on patrol boats and that's what I love, the next step is a desk job. I never thought I'd hear myself say this but maybe there is more to life than just the Navy, the higher up you go the more isolated you become so maybe having the right person to come home to is just as important if not more so." He told her fervently, his eyes seemly taking on a different glow, reflecting the passion of his speech.
"So anyway that's the way it is and if you can't handle that well….." he trailed off, shrugging his shoulders and dropping his head, exhausted from his tirade and not having anything left to give.
He wasn't sure what he was expecting from her but it certainly wasn't the response he got.
After a few moments had passed she asked softly, "so when do I get to meet the woman who has finally captured my big bros heart then?"
"What?" he asked resorting back to his monosyllabic response in shock.
"All I ever wanted was for you to be happy Mikey and as you yourself admitted your track record with women hasn't been great, up until now I didn't think you'd ever had a serious relationship. I didn't go as far as mum, I just didn't think you were built that way, I just thought that your career got all of your commitment and there wasn't anything left for someone else, which I imagine is quite common in your line of work. I realise now that I was wrong, that despite it being of only short duration your relationship with Kate all those years ago was obviously deeper and more serious than I imagined, other things just got in the way. So as long as you're sure, that's good enough for me."
"Good….." he started to say and then almost like a delayed reaction he changed tack, homing in on her comment about not going as far as their mother had in her explanation of his lack of lasting relationship "hang on what did mum think?" he asked.
"I'm not sure you want to know," she told him hesitantly.
"Probably not but tell me anyway," he replied probingly.
"Ok but remember you asked for it…." she paused before continuing knowing he wasn't going to like the answer, "for a while she almost convinced herself that you had to be gay," she informed him.
"What" he exploded.
"Well you know that she never understood why you joined up in the first place, so she never understood your way of life. As a result she went down the line of my son is in his 30's and is still single so …."she trailed off leaving the rest to his imagination.
"That woman is unbelievable" he stated incredulously.
"Its ok I set her straight so to speak" she replied grinning at him. "Anyway back to my question, when do I get to meet her?"
"I don't know about that, it's still early days" he responded trying to stall her again.
"Really" she asked raising her eyebrows at him questioningly, following it up with "that's a pretty lame excuse don't you think." Looking across at him she could see he was conflicted so she continued trying her best to persuade him "I'll be on my best behaviour, I promise, no interrogations or anything."
"It's not just that its …. she's er not really one for families…." He tried to explain to her without giving away too much detail, the fact that she had the ability to get inside his head was bad enough, he didn't think it was his place to give away too much about Kate's background. Making another attempt he started "her home life before she joined the Navy…." before he trailed off again.
"Well we were hardly the Waltons" his sister joked.
"Compared to what she went through, we were pretty close" he countered. "Its just I don't want to rush her in anything, it's too important to me," he finished soulfully, dropping his head from her for a moment, still not used to talking on such an emotional level with her.
"Ok, I get it but you could still go and ask her," she suggested.
In response he just looked at her seemingly confused as to her motives.
"What?" she asked innocently, having made the suggestion more for his sake then her own, knowing that after all they had talked out, he would need an outlet or he would just brood.
She could see the internal struggle that was raging inside him, as he fought against the desire to take her up on her offer versus his sense of duty that he shouldn't abandon her on the first night of her visit.
"It's ok honestly, I'm really tired after the drive so I think I might head off to bed now anyway, no doubt Jack will have us up again bright and early."
"Alright, well if you're sure," he responded guardedly.
"Absolutely, now go," she told him gently.
"Thanks sis" he said kissing her on the cheek and heading for the door, picking up his car keys on the way.