Here it is…Valentines Day. The last of the one shot. A good part of this chapter is new, and from here on out, it's all uncharted territory. Kind of like a relationship formed in front of the window at Tiffany's…
Just as a refresher….ProfMom writes Edward, HMonster writes Bella.
As usual, not ours.
Chapter 5: Dreams come true
Daydreams - E
The first thing I did in the morning was grab my phone from the nightstand to see if Bella had replied. It was a short, sweet echo of my own sentiments. I hadn't exaggerated. All of my dreams were about her, even during the day.
I would have to find a way to focus at work soon, because I'd begun to consider meetings an excellent excuse to spend an hour thinking of Bella. I revisited a few scenarios often in my daydreams. Sometimes, we took a walk in the rain. She was always wore those yellow boots. In my daydreams, she never took them off. Ever.
I doubted an occasion would ever arise when she would be standing outside in the rain naked save for those boots, so I moved the daydream into the shower. Of course, that made actually taking a shower a challenge. Everywhere I looked, I saw her wet hair or her smooth skin.
I forced myself to think about mergers and paperwork in order to speed the morning routine. I didn't want to leave her waiting. I was giving her my heart today. She'd taken it from me ages ago, but now she would see it floating with my steadfast love.
I checked the time when I saw her bouncing up the sidewalk toward me. It was a good thing I got out of my apartment early, because she seemed to have sped up her schedule lately too. I had to admit it was quite the ego boost. We both wanted an extra few minutes with each other in the morning. Though for me "want" had turned to "need."
She briefly peered into the window... 2.1 minutes. It seems what was in the window was becoming less important than what was happening right in front of it.
I smiled at her, and she wordlessly grabbed my tie. This time, I knew what was coming, and I wasn't going to let her run off.
I gave as good as I got, and there's no doubt it was good.
I walked her to work again. We didn't talk much. I slowly massaged her palm with my thumb, and we looked at each other every so often. Those exchanges always ended in a smile, the kind you couldn't control. The kind that made you want to laugh for no reason.
I brought her hand to my lips again. We were still navigating the waters. I didn't want to assume too much with a kiss goodbye. We locked eyes, saying nothing and everything at the same time.
With a nod, she went into the building, and I turned to begin my walk to work.
Before I got far, I heard her yelling for me. I turned, wondering what prompted her return. She was winded, and her cheeks were flushed, a beautiful complement to her fair skin.
"Thank you. It feels like such an insignificant way to acknowledge this. But thank you."
And she gave me a proper goodbye. A goodbye she thought was insignificant. It could not have been less true. Her gesture inspired me. Caught me off guard. I hadn't planned the action that followed.
"I've said it several different ways, but not yet directly. I love you, Bella." I kissed her gently on her forehead. I wasn't as brave as she, and I turned away before she could respond, tossing "Check your email later," over my shoulder.
I may have teased her just by waiting until later in the afternoon to write.
Monday is too far away. Would you like to talk a walk after work?
E
As if she were refreshing her email constantly, I received a near instantaneous response.
Yes.
B
We re-traced our steps from the morning, stopping by the window where one more charm had been added, indicating my intent to love her for eternity.
She had to know what tomorrow was, and it was possible she already had plans, but I hadn't wanted to ask until all the pieces were in the glass.
"Bella, would you meet me here for breakfast tomorrow?"
Insignificant - B
I dashed out of my apartment on Friday morning. 24 hours of not seeing him was far too long. All the way up Fifth, I kept replaying that last email.
He stood there, waiting for me in front of the window, face stoic as I studied the addition to my martini glass. A sterling silver floating heart.
He gave me his heart.
I didn't trust myself to speak. Instead, I pulled an old page from my playbook. I grabbed a hold of his tie, and pulled him down as I went up on tiptoe. This time, he kissed me back. It was slow and sweet and I felt it everywhere. My imagination had been sorely lacking.
We walked to my office again, hand in hand. My mind raced the entire time. I felt absolutely complete and yet utterly insignificant. He had everything. I couldn't give him anything that he didn't already have.
I stood just inside the lobby as he walked away. I felt like I needed to do something, to say something.
That's when it hit me. There is a difference between having and needing something. What if it was really that simple? There was one thing that I had that he didn't, that he quiet possibly needed. Me.
I bolted out of the building and ran after him, calling his name. He turned with a confused look on his face. When he saw me, he smiled and held his arms out to me.
'Thank you. It feels like such an insignificant way to acknowledge this. But thank you."
I kissed him again, and there was nothing sweet or slow about it. He lifted me off the ground, bringing us level so that he could kiss me back with the same intensity. His tongue grazed mine and I gasped. I felt him smile in response before he tightened his arms a bit more. It was heaven, and I never wanted it to end.
But the real world has a way of creeping in. Bills to pay, authors to publish. We broke apart, both smiling sheepishly. Two adults, making out on a street corner in Manhattan.
Edward sat me back down on the pavement, arms tight around me to make sure that I had my balance. And then he pulled the rug right out from under me.
He told me that he loved me.
He said something more, but I didn't hear it, so caught up in the shock of his declaration.
I got through the day, although I don't know how. Alice called before lunch. I told her I was tied up, and I would get back to her later. I knew she would be happy for me, but this was mine, and I wasn't ready to share it yet.
I spent the day with one eye on email in the hope that I would hear something from Edward. I wasn't capable of going into another weekend of not seeing him, of not knowing what would come next.
Late that afternoon, he emailed to ask if I wanted to take a walk after work. It felt like the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I would get to see him one more time today.
Edward met me outside the building, an air of confidence and, dare I say it, smugness radiated off him. We followed our normal route back to Fifth Avenue. He stopped me in front of Tiffany's. One more charm had been added to my martini glass. A jade circle. Circles are infinite. No beginning, no end.
What had started as an innocent flirtation had grown into something more. He gave me his heart and told me that he would love me forever. It was time to start letting down the walls to allow each other into our respective worlds.
I had been worried about what would happen when the weekend arrived. But I should know better than to bet against Edward. Instead of saying goodbye at the window, he asked me to meet him for breakfast in the morning.
Tomorrow was Valentine's Day. Neither of us acknowledged it, but it lurked on the periphery, taunting me. I was afraid of what came next. That all the hopes and dreams that I had started to form over the last week and a half would fall short of reality. So I did the adult thing, I swallowed everything but my desire to see him. That was enough to sustain me.
Use What You've Got - E
By the time I delivered Bella to her subway stop and walked back to Tiffany's, they had already begun to dismantle the Valentine's window display. Jess waited for me along with the window decorator.
Lately, I'd avoided playing the rich and powerful card. But there were times like these, when the benefits were just too good to deny.
In the end, the window decorator was surprisingly more helpful than Jess has led me to believe. Turns out, he was quite a sucker for romance.
Jess had even brought the box of strawberry pop tarts, since I knew I couldn't hide it inconspicuously in my briefcase or top coat pocket.
She handed it to me as if it were a bomb about to explode. The look disgust on her face was comical. Her disdain may have been for the box or me or a little of both.
I opted to kill her with kindness.
"Jess, I can't thank you enough for how well you have orchestrated this. It's been impressive."
She gave me a short smile.
"Do you want these back?" she asked with repulsion holding out the actual contents of the box.
"No," I replied. "Is someone scheduled to be here before hours tomorrow?"
"You know there is, Edward," she practically growled. I gave her the infamous Edward Cullen grin, the one that often made the news, and took the kindness out, opting just to kill her.
"I trust this time, you've been able to manage more discretion. I'm sure if any of this…" I said waving my hand toward the window, "got out to reporters, your superiors would be unimpressed. Imagine the impact if Tiffany's were to lose a major client and be publicly humiliated by negative press."
"You don't have to worry. No one knows a thing."
I nodded and turned to the window designer to discuss the new display.
Once all the details were in place, I went home and tried to turn in early. I was unsuccessful. At first I was just too excited to sleep, too anxious to see the final details played out. Then, of course, another of my favorite scenarios crept into my thoughts. This one was about how Bella would want to thank me for her Valentine's Day present. In this one, she was wearing two items: the boots and my bracelet.
I thought about taking Rosalie's advice and giving Tanya a call, but I decided I didn't want to bring anyone else into this yet. Just having Rosalie and Jess know I was in full courting mode was almost too much.
Like a child waiting for the first day of school, I thought morning would never come. But it did, and it greeted me with another kiss from Bella when she met me in front of Tiffany's as promised.
"Mm. You'll be the death of me."
"Don't go dying on me, I'm not done with you yet." she quipped.
I led her over to the window where a single signature blue Tiffany package sat in the middle of a reworked Valentine's display.
I watched her scan the window for any sign. I caught a hint of disappointment.
"Bella, I spend my life surrounded by things that are pretty on the outside, but there is no substance within. We've been admiring this exquisite display for days. Would you like to go inside with me?"
She bit her lip. "I'd love to, but they aren't open yet."
"I know some people," I said with a shrug.
We entered the store with all the reverence of a Cathedral. We wandered aimlessly and silently for a while.
"I've been wondering. Are you still opposed to romance?"
"I never had anything against romance, just the way everyone wants you to believe in it versus how it really is."
"I'm pleased to hear it. Come over here. There is something I want to show you."
She was still taking in the store. I had a feeling she'd never actually stepped foot beyond the front door. Her wide eyed innocence was refreshing.
We walked up to the counter, and I nodded to clerk at the counter. "I believe you have something for me." Bella looked confused, and she watched in shock as he walked to the window and pulled the blue box out of the display.
"Open it," I commanded.
She followed my direction, and her hands shook as she removed the ribbon.
She seemed relieved when she saw the familiar lettering, and she laughed out loud.
"I told you we were having breakfast at Tiffany's. Shall we dig in? I'm hungry." I said slyly.
She had no more caution as she hurried to get to her pink frosting. She stopped quickly when she saw that instead of silver foiled pastries, there was another box inside. She looked to me sharply, and I nodded for her to continue.
She opened the lid slowly, and her eyes lit up when she saw the familiar charms attached to a simple silver chain bracelet.
"Am I awful if I say I wanted this?"
"No, you're merely honest."
"Thank you, Edward. I don't know what to say."
"Bella, say you'll be my Valentine?"
My Way - B
"No."
Edward's eyes went wide, his brow furrowed in confusion.
"I have a much better idea." I grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the store.
Once we reached the street, I stepped out onto Fifth Avenue and held my hand out. Pedestrian traffic was light, and it only took a few seconds to hail a cab.
"2nd and 10th please." I requested of the driver. I was almost giddy as I formulated the plan in my head. Let Edward have his version of a Valentines Day declaration. I get mine.
"Bella?" Edward queried, confusion written all over his face.
I felt bold, fearless, and absolutely confident as I put my finger to his lips. "Shhh. Trust me."
We made excellent time downtown, and ten minutes later the cab pulled up in front of the local market I go to every week. I paid the driver, and pulled Edward out of the car after me.
"Bella!" Marcus, the owner greeted me as I walked in the front door. "Happy Valentines Day!"
"Hi Marcus! Any chance you can hook Edward and me up with some coffee?"
I had been coming here since I had moved into my apartment a few years ago. Marcus and his wife had taken me under their wing, and were constantly inquiring as to the state of my love life. They had offered to set me up numerous times,
"Sure thing, the usual?" Marcus eyed Edward curiously.
I turned to Edward. "Want some coffee?"
He gave me a dazzling smile. "I'll have what you are having."
"Two of 'em Marcus." I called over my shoulder. I looked back to Edward. "Stay here, I'll be back in two."
I walked quickly to the back of the store. There at the end of the aisle was exactly what I needed. I grabbed a box and walked back to the counter.
"That should do it. Thank you." I paid for our purchases, handed Edward his coffee, and nodded towards the door.
"Come on." Once outside, I handed him my coffee to hold while I tore open the top of the box.
"Want to share a pack of strawberry pop tarts?" I held up a foil package, fighting back a smile.
Edward's face lit up. He grabbed the package from my hand and ripped it open. The smile and the speed at which he moved sent shivers down my spine.
"Best offer I think I've ever received." He pulled out one of the pastries and handed it to me. "Want a bite?"
Did I ever.
I guided Edward up Second Avenue. He had made his Valentine's declaration. I made mine. I couldn't rival what he had done from an economic perspective, but when it came to originality, I definitely scored some points.
By the time we reached my apartment building, the pop tarts and coffee were gone, and I was freezing.
"You want to come up?" I tried to sound nonchalant, but the prospect of Edward in my apartment, in my world, terrified and thrilled me at the same time.
He looked up at my building, a turn of the century five story walk up. "This is you?"
"Yep, you coming?" I started up the steps to the building, using my key to unlock the door.
"No doorman?" I laughed as soon as he said it.
"I live in the Village, Edward. People don't have doormen down here."
I guided him up the two flights of steps to my floor. "This is me." I unlocked the door and pushed it open.
"Welcome to all 600 square feet of Chez Swan." I pulled my parka off and tossed it on the coat stand. I turned to take Edward's. He was looking down at the foot of the stand at my wellies, a smile on his face.
"Yes, I own wellies. Childish, but it's one of those little things that always makes me happy." He shook his head and handed me his jacket.
"Come on, I'll give you the grand tour." I grabbed his hand and pulled him through the apartment.
"My gourmet kitchen is through there." I indicated as we walked past the tiny galley.
"Living room slash office." I swept my hand to indicate the couch, coffee table, over stuffed chair and entertainment center.
"Through here you have bedroom and bathroom."
I turned to see Edward standing in front of the couch, staring up at the montage of framed photographs that hung on the wall. The photos represented my life. My family, my childhood friends, college and life there after.
He pointed at one photo. "Is this your dad?"
I sat down on the arm of the couch, my feet resting on the seat cushion. "Yeah, his name is Charlie. That was taken a few years ago when he and some friends went on a fishing trip in Alaska."
"You look like him."
"When I was younger, that would have upset me. Renee, my mom, is really pretty. But I have the perspective now to know that it is a compliment."
"Are you guys close?"
I studied the photo for a moment, considering how best to explain.
"My relationship with both of my parents is complicated. Renee left before I started kindergarten, so it was always just Charlie and I. He was at a loss for what to do with a little girl. He's most comfortable in the land of sports, fishing and American beer." I paused, thinking about the last time I saw him, "He's a good man;, we just don't have a lot in common other than being incredibly stubborn."
"You, stubborn? I can't imagine that."
I rolled my eyes in mock indignation. It was nice to joke around like this.
"What about you?, Wwho do you look like?"
Edward gave a small laugh and sat down on the couch. "The milk man."
He reached out to take my hand. His bracelet slid down my arm and to rest just above his fingers.
"I am amazed that you can talk about her your mom so easily. It would be natural to be angry."
"For a long time I was. I blamed myself for driving her away. It wasn't until the last few years that I realized it had nothing to do with me."
Edward turned my hand over and ran his thumb along the inside of my wrist. The light touch sent a shiver up my arm.
He bowed his head, and brushed a gentle kiss along the path he had just traced. "You are an amazing person."
We were in such uncharted waters that every interaction, every little step forward kept the butterflies swirling in my stomach.
He lifted his head to look up at me. His face was unreadable for a moment before breaking into that smile, the one that always gave me chills. He gave a quick tug on my hand which pulled me off the arm of the couch and straight into his lap. One of his arms cradled my shoulder, while his free hand slid into my hair.
"Much better." He whispered, his face only inches from mine.
I couldn't move. I stared at his lips, waiting.
"It's really hard to kiss you when you bite your lip, Bella."
"Oh, I…." That was all he needed. As our lips made contact, he tightened the arm around my shoulders, which brought me in closer to him. His kissed me slowly, as if to gauge how I would respond. But it was time that we were past all of the tentative exploration. Neither of us needed to figure out where the other stood anymore.
I slipped my right hand up his chest to wind into the back of his hair as I pulled him in closer to me. Like that first day at the window, I traced my tongue along his bottom lip, secure in the knowledge that this time, he would kiss me back.
It was like a switch flipped. Suddenly I was on my back on the couch, one hand still secured in Edward's hair, the other clutching his shirt. His tongue swept over mine, sweet from the pop tarts we had eaten earlier. I slipped my hand up around his back, tugging at his shirt. Once I had it free, I slipped my hand up underneath, lightly tracing my fingers down Edward's back. He paused, his breath hitching in reaction.
The sensation of it was so overwhelming. Edward. Here, in my apartment, me pinned to the couch. Kissing me. I felt like my heart was going to burst out of my chest. I wanted this to keep going, to not stop, to give into the moment, to give into everything, but the rational side of me shouted to slow down, to not move too fast.
Euphoria - E
Oh. God. I have never wanted anyone as much as I wanted this woman underneath me, waiting for my next move.
From the moment she invited me up to her place, I felt like a damned teenager. And I seemed to regress with each passing minute. At first, it was as if we were stealing "alone" time while parents were out of the house. There was palpable tension, as she gave me the grand tour of her cracker box apartment. I stopped cold when I saw the boots. I don't think I hid my smile very well.
If it had been anyone else, I would have felt claustrophobic. But it was Bella, and her apartment was quaint; it reflected everything I'd come to love about her.
That only made the tension worse.
As I took in her apartment, I occasionally caught a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye. She was nervous again. She kissed me the first day we met in the most public place imaginable, but being alone with me made her nervous. I knew exactly how she felt.
I sat down on the couch, and put my hand out for her to join me.
For six months she was my hope. In the space of 8 days, she became my dream. At this exact moment, she was my fantasy.
Go slow, Edward. Rosalie's warning echoed over and over in my head. I had to mean this. She had to know I meant it. I didn't really want to go slow though.
Sitting on that couch brought back memories of so many firsts—kisses, loves, and lovers. This wasn't our first kiss, but it held all the promise of one just the same. This is the most perfect feeling in the world. An absolute euphoria. It's the emotion we all seek. In pure desperation, we attempt to re-create it in so many ways. The reason people drink or do drugs. The impetus for most of the entertainment industry. The motivation for infidelity. We chase this moment. But it doesn't come in a bottle, a romantic comedy, or even a good lay. It's an utterly intangible thing. It only exists in the space between.
So, I prolonged the moment, knowing this memory would outdo all the others, afraid it would disappear when the anticipated kiss had been realized.
All the poets and novelists in the world, and not one of them has ever found words to describe what happens to your stomach—not really your stomach or your chest or your throat, but another space between. It's not a flip or a wave or a lump.
Whatever it is, I could live in it.
Or maybe not, because something always moves you beyond the space between, to the physical contact. The connection.
And I brought her into my space, to my lips. Go slow, Edward. Show her you mean it. And I tried to, but then her tongue slid along my lower lip like it had that first time, and all of the desire I had that day combined with the sexual tension of my teenage self sitting on a couch with the hottest girl in school, and I pounced.
But that feeling in my not quite stomach didn't go away; it got stronger. Go Slow, Edward. I ignored the warning as I slid one hand to her waist. I didn't expect the warmth. It sent tingles everywhere. Her shirt had ridden up the slightest bit. I rested my hand right there, circling her soft skin with my thumb while our tongues continued a slow waltz. We stayed in that suspended state. Should I, or shouldn't I? Will we or won't we?
I felt her sigh before I heard it. The sigh that says, I want this, but I can't.
Our kisses slowed to a stop, but her fingers were still moving on my back. She didn't open her eyes yet. I could feel her chest rising and falling heavily below me. I moved my hand back up to her face, and traced her lips. Her eyes opened then, and I assured her with my smile.
"It's okay, Bella. This is only the beginning."
The Devil on My Shoulder - B
I thought I was doing okay. While fragile, I still had a slight grasp on my self control. My mind and body were at war with each other. More. Stop. Please. Wait.
I have never been so conflicted in my entire life.
And then his thumb traced across my stomach.
God I want this. I want him.
But there are two types of want. Both had benefits, but the longer term had more potential.
We had to stop. I didn't want to.
As if sensing my mental struggle, Edward drew back and skimmed his finger across my lips. If he was trying to rein this in, it wasn't working.
"It's okay, Bella. This is only the beginning."
He meant it. This wasn't about instant gratification for him. He wanted me; that was apparent. But he wanted me too, in a different way. And that made this all difference.
"Why do I feel like we are back in high school, and my dad is going to walk in any minute?"
Edward laughed as he nuzzled into my neck. "Did your Dad ever pull his gun out on one of your boyfriends?"
"No, but he never caught any of them trying to steal second."
I could feel his breath warm against my skin. "I didn't try to steal second."
"Not yet…."
His fingers slowly trailed up my stomach, slowly circling higher and higher.
"Batter up…"
Whew…ok, yeah…lost the ability to form coherent sentences there for a moment. Wow.
So they are past the window, and slowly moving into each other's 'real worlds.' What happens once they leave the bubble?
Come on…we are both dying to hear reactions…and join us over on the thread on Twilighted – there are strawberry pop tarts and mint mochas for all!