A/N: Hey all, tell your friends about this story! It's really good, I swear! XD Review, too, it makes me happy!
"So, where are you from?"
"Japan. I moved to California with my roommate a few months ago. I've been going from job to job, until I found this one."
"How interesting. I'm Japanese as well, you know."
"How interesting."
"You're not much of a talker, are you?" Hidan said, picking up his camera and snapping a gorgeous view of the bay.
"Not really, no."
"That's all right, I can talk enough for the both of us. Hey, can I ask your advice on something?"
"Shoot."
"Well, you've been in relationships before, right?"
"A few," Kakuzu shrugged.
"Right. Well, I have this girlfriend, and I really like her. But it's sort of died, you know? Not officially, just sort of recently. Do you have any advice?"
"She wasn't a replacement for anyone, was she?" Kakuzu asked. Hidan paused, turning to face his new chum.
"I never thought of that," he mused. "You know, she looks exactly like Deidara. So what are you saying?"
"You can't replace the real thing forever."
"You're brilliant, man. Seriously. Maybe you should take over for Sarah." Kakuzu shrugged, looking away. It had been a week of things like this. A week of their strange, usually one sided conversations, with Hidan jabbering and trying to find more out about this strange man. And now, Hidan thought he might have sufficient information to contact Kakuzu outside of work.
Kakuzu sighed, lumbering into the apartment and throwing himself on the couch. A red haired head peeked from the kitchen. "What's up?" asked Sasori, leaning against the doorframe. Kakuzu grunted. Sasori sighed, walking over to the couch and sitting down next to Kakuzu. "Well, you might not be in the mood, but I lost my job."
"What?" Kakuzu cried, sitting up and staring at Sasori. Sasori shrugged.
"I just got laid off, is all."
"How are we going to pay rent?"
"Relax, they owe me a month's pay anyway. I'll just have to get another job."
"I can put in a word with you at Akatsuki, if you want." Sasori shrugged again.
"If you think it'll help."
"I do. They're actually people there, and they listen to what other people have to say. I think you'd like it."
"As long as it's a job," Sasori replied. "It seems like nothing's really been working out for us. Well, until you got hired at Akatsuki. Maybe that place will work it's magic on me as well."
"Maybe."
"So how was your day?"
"Oh, as annoying and elevating as usual."
"That Hidan guy?"
"Yes. He gets under my skin like no one else. But…"
"But?"
"But, it's like if he went away, I wouldn't be me. Sort of like a heart shaped bruise…"
"Please, do elaborate. I don't quite follow."
"It's sort of what having a sibling is like, I guess. Sort of like they're there, and you can't get rid of them, and you want to rip their head off, but without them, there wouldn't be anything."
"It seems to me you have some strange, left over and not dealt with feelings. You're around this guy a lot, it's not surprising such feelings would come out towards him." Sasori sighed. "Besides, you need to get laid. You haven't had sex in forever." Kakuzu glared.
"Thank you for pointing that out," he sighed. They both knew the last time, it had been them two. And that was years ago. Sasori had had a few lovers since then, nothing really permanent, but all at least rising to the position of shagging. Kakuzu hadn't even touched another person with sexual intent. Though they both knew it was completely over, Kakuzu really wasn't interested in anyone.
"So is he taken or something?"
"Yes, he has a girlfriend."
"Oh. Well, is she going to be out of the picture soon?"
"I think. She looks exactly like his ex-boyfriend, so they'll probably get back together."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah, she's a bitch and can't stay around long."
"Strong language for you," Sasori said. "And anyway, I'm sure there's got to be some time you can bang him."
"Not everything has to do with sex, Sasori."
"I know. But life does."
Konan stormed into the building, banging once on each wall of every cubicle until she came to her office. She quickly slammed the door behind herself. Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged a glance. Deidara's head peeked over the top of his cubicle. "Is it that time of month again, un?" he asked.
"Yup. Bills are due," Hidan replied.
"She's not the best at math, but better than anyone else here, un," Deidara sighed. "If everyone wasn't dumb, it wouldn't be so hard on her, un. To think, she'll never get married, but she still has to take care of men, un."
"She could get married," Hidan mused. Deidara sighed, shaking his head.
"So could you, un. What's up with Ino, un?" Hidan shrugged, not really wanting to tell Deidara it was starting to go like their relationship had. But then Deidara pulled out two tickets, flourishing them in Hidan's face. "For you and Ino, un. A night's stay a t a spa, yeah." Hidan took the tickets.
"Where the hell did you get these?"
"Sasuke gave them to me to make up for some shit he said, un. Told me to take my boyfriend, un. But since you and Ino need it more than me, I'm being generous and giving them to you, un."
"Wow. Thanks! This is just what we need!" Hidan leaned forward and pecked Deidara's lips friendlily. "Get back to work, you'll have to show Itachi your best writing if you want to live." Deidara rolled his eyes and retreated into his cubicle. Kakuzu was looking at Hidan.
"You two seem really close for exes," he said. Hidan shrugged.
"I do it with everyone, but last week I was sick," he replied.
"So things aren't going so well with Ino-san?"
"I don't know," Hidan replied shortly. Konan suddenly threw the door to her office open.
"Kakuzu! Get your ass in here!" Kakuzu and Hidan walked forward. "No, Hidan, beat it! I only want to talk to Kakuzu!" Hidan lurked back as Kakuzu entered the dark office. Konan was dressed in a pair of jeans and boots, a t-shirt on her toned torso. She sat on the desk, looking intently at him. "That friend of yours, what do you think he could write about?" she asked.
"Art, mostly."
"Deidara can do that."
"He's not afraid to say anything. He can write about news in other nations, celebrities, anything you really tell him." Konan sighed, rubbing her forehead. "I'll manage finances, if you need me to. I hear not working is the best stress reliever." Konan quirked a small smile.
"You really know how to get your way, don't you?"
"He got laid off, I think he needs a job pretty badly."
"Can he write about science?"
"Sure."
"Art and science, those sound like good columns. You talk to him, and I'll give him a shot if you bring him in tomorrow."
"Arigato, Konan-san."
"But you're managing the books, regardless," she replied.
"I don't care, I don't mind working with money." Konan rolled her eyes, smiling.
"How are you and Hidan getting along?"
"Well, I'd say," Kakuzu replied.
"How about the others? Zetsu isn't too weird, is he?"
"No, everyone else is just fine."
"Good. You like it here?"
"Yes, very much."
"Good. Well then, you can go track down Hidan and get to work." She stood and walked back around the desk, and the conversation was over.
"Konan-san, this is Akasuna Sasori," Kakuzu said. Sasori bowed respectfully.
"Ah, good. Hidan! Introduce Sasori to everyone!" Hidan came out of Deidara's cubicle.
"I was talking to Sarah," he complained.
"Sarah doesn't exist. Sasori, this is Hidan. Hidan, this is Sasori, a new writer. He'll be covering art and science." Hidan walked over to Konan, draping himself over her shoulders.
"Aw, Konan-chan! I was having a really nice conversation!" Konan sighed and reached into her purse, pulling out a knife.
"Do you know what this is?" she asked. "It's a castration knife. Either you get your hands off me, or you'll have to be bottom for the rest of your life." Hidan quickly let go, backing away slowly. Konan replaced the knife and walked back to her office.
"All right, Sasori! Right this way! Oh, Kakuzu, you can wait for me in the dark room, right?" Kakuzu didn't say anything, simply leaving. Hidan turned to Sasori. "So, you two are roommates?"
"Yeah."
"You'd better be more talkative than he is," Hidan warned. Sasori shrugged.
"If the topic interests me, you'll find I am quite loquacious." Sasori smirked. Hidan sighed.
"Come on, then. You need to meet the gang." Hidan led the way to Kisame's cubicle. "This is Kisame. He writes the manly stuff." Kisame looked up, smiling at the newcomer.
"Hey," he said. Sasori said nothing. Hidan sighed.
"Sasori, you're really starting to piss me off," he warned. Sasori shrugged.
"Hello, Kisame-san," Sasori stated, looking bored. Kisame sighed. Hidan, deciding to end this soon, slipped away and walked to Itachi's cubicle.
"This is Uchiha Itachi," he said.
"Forgive me for not turning around, but I'm busy," Itachi said, not even moving. Hidan wrinkled his nose. They continued past Deidara's cubicle, mainly because Hidan didn't want to clean up this Sasori when Deidara decided to beat the shit out of him.
"Down there is Zetsu, he probably doesn't want to be disturbed right now. That only leaves… Deidara." Hidan retraced his steps back to Deidara's cubicle. "Deidara, we've hired someone else." Deidara looked up, smiling slightly at Sasori.
"Hello, un," he said. Sasori said nothing, just stared. Deidara rolled his eye, looking to Hidan. "Another one that doesn't talk, un? Let's hope he can write, yeah."
"Deidara, was it?" Sasori finally said, pushing past Hidan to stand directly in front of Deidara. Deidara nodded, smiling a little wider.
"Are you a natural redhead, un?" he asked.
"Depends, are you a natural blond?" Deidara snickered.
"You'd better take him out of here, yeah," Deidara said to Hidan. "We might just sit here exchanging flirty banter for the rest of the day, un." Hidan glared at the pair. They hit it off first thing. That never happened to him. Whenever he met anyone new, they always- what was he thinking? He had a beautiful girlfriend waiting for him at home, begging to be kissed and fondled and…
"Come on, Sasori," Hidan sighed.
"And this is your solution to our dilemma?" Konan asked, raising an eyebrow. Zetsu nodded.
"I assure you, he's the best worker ever. He can't do smart things, like write, but he can make copies, take phone calls, manage subscriptions, whatever you want." Konan scrutinized the young man before her.
"It seems we have a few friends putting in good words here," she said. "What's your connection to him?"
"I knew his aunt. I promised I would take care of him once she died. He needs a job." Konan smiled.
"Well then, welcome aboard, Tobi."
"Thank you so much, ma'am!" the man cried, grinning happily. Konan quirked an eyebrow.
"Call me Konan-san," she said. "You do anything anyone tells you, and answer the phones. Got it?"
"Yes Konan-san!"
"Good. Off you go." Tobi rushed out of the room. Konan turned to Zetsu. "He doesn't have any mental disabilities, does he?"
"No. He just acts young, that's all. He can be quite serious."
"Ok, whatever. Just as long as nothing is sprung on us." Konan grinned. "Oh, and don't forget: this Saturday, my apartment."
"Of course. Wouldn't miss it for the world."
"Explain it to me again. We're going to our boss' apartment- a woman, if I might add- to laze around and watch football?"
"That's the idea, Sasori. They say it's a company tradition."
"But- don't you think this is a bit out of place?"
"They're weird, all right? It's expected, and we're going to do it, all right?" Sasori sighed, closing his book.
"Is Deidara going to be there?"
"Yes. Everyone is." Sasori rolled over on the couch, staring up at the ceiling.
"How old is he?"
"Who?"
"Deidara."
"I don't know. What's with your sudden obsession?"
"Nothing. I've just heard a few things, and he looks a bit young to have done some of them."
"Well I don't know." Sasori sighed.
"Well how about you?"
"What about me?"
"You and Hidan. Has he gotten rid of that woman yet?"
"No. Deidara gave him two tickets to a spa, and he's been trying his hardest to work things out."
"Oh. Tough break."
"I don't mind," Kakuzu lied. "I mean, what? I've only known him a month." Sasori sighed.
"I've heard of people getting married in less time. You can at least get another best friend." Kakuzu sighed.
"Maybe I'll just ask Sarah," he said. Sasori laughed.