A/N: This chapter shall be called: 'Everyone's getting fucking laid but ME!' XD Enjoy!
"Hey, Kakuzu, what do you think perfection is?" Hidan asked. Kakuzu looked over at him.
"I think that in achieving perfection you render yourself imperfect," he replied. Hidan stared at him, utterly confused.
"So…"
"Perfection is in the eyes of he beholder. If you can be perfect, you can only be perfect to yourself. By being imperfect to others you might attain perfection in your own eyes, but not to others."
"Complicated." Hidan turned to face Kakuzu, grabbed the other man's shoulders, and pressed their mouths together, right there on the street. And they stayed like that a moment, linked at the lips, before Kakuzu pushed Hidan away harshly. Hidan stared up at Kakuzu, who glared down at him venomously.
"What the fuck are you playing at?" he growled.
"What the hell do you mean?" Hidan shrieked. They stared at each other, eyes fixed.
"What was that for?" Kakuzu asked, voice low, dark, and dangerous. 'He loves Deidara, but now that he can't have him, he's just looking for something easy to take advantage of,' Kakuzu thought. 'He must've guessed my feelings for him, and thinks he can get his way.'
'He really must love Sasori. Poor bastard is just dealing with a broken heart,' Hidan thought. 'I can't fuck anything, I can't hold a steady relationship-'
"I'm not allowed to indulge myself a little?" Hidan cried. Something deep within him was breaking, a him that wasn't Hidan within him calling out for this person. He absolutely needed Kakuzu, right then. How could a person so stoic as Kakuzu be able to just rip his heart out?
"I didn't even think you would stoop as low as to take advantage like that," Kakuzu growled. Hidan blinked at him. Slowly, he stepped closer.
"What do you mean?"
"You know exactly what I mean, Hidan," Kakuz said. Hidan snapped.
"So you don't feel the same way as me!" he screamed. "So you dislike me, like you always act like! So we fucking aren't meant! So?" Hidan looked into Kakuzu's eyes. 'Why do I want to believe him? My heart is melting for this… person. Why do I want to believe he isn't just fucking with my emotions? No. I can't allow myself.' Something of Kakuzu's thoughts must've shown in his eyes. Hidan stood on his toes. "Prove me wrong?" he whispered before crushing their lips together. Kakuzu pushed him away, hitting him on the head.
"You hit me," Hidan stated, massaging his scalp, getting butterflies at the unblinking stare Kakuzu had trained on him.
"Yes. Yes I did," Kakuzu replied.
"Why?"
"Because you touched me."
"But- but you liked it, didn't you?" Hidan cried. Kakuzu nodded, slowly. Assured, Hidan let his arms drop to his sides. "So you hit me because….?"
"You touched me." Hidan looked at Kakuzu, who smirked ever so slightly. "You can't expect me to be that easy, Hidan. It doesn't matter if it's true love."
"What?" Hidan cried. "But if we both liked it-" Kakuzu glared at him.
"I'm not that easy, Hidan. You can't expect to say a few words, confess a few feelings, and then be able to touch me." Kakuzu was definitely smirking.
"Do you hate me?" Hidan demanded. Kakuzu nodded. "Do you love me?" He nodded. Hidan's brow furrowed, the deep concepts hurting his brain. He wasn't meant for thinking very much. "So what do you want?" Kakuzu shrugged, just looking at Hidan.
"I know what I would like, and I know you would like it as well, but not now. Not here." Hidan sighed.
"Then when? Are you just going to string me around and take me for a wild goose chase?"
"I was going to ask the same of you," Kakuzu sighed. "I don't care if we're both head over heels in love with each other. What I'm interested is a relationship and building trust. If you're going to start something, I'd like to see you finish it." Hidan sighed. Maybe it was for the better. After all, he was still having trouble getting erect during sex. Maybe if he jut eased himself into this, it would work out in the end.
It wasn't long before they lived together. Of course, like always, it had taken Deidara and Sasori to set things into motion. Sasori had asked Deidara to move in with him, and Deidara told Hidan, who in turn realized he didn't like the thought of Deidara living with Kakuzu and invited his boyfriend to live with him. They had not yet had sex, and he hoped maybe by living together they would somehow reach that utopia of sexual climax.
Sasori sat on the couch next to Kakuzu. "Well, we've had some good times in this place, but doesn't it feel sort of right living with them?" Kakuzu chuckled.
"You hit the nail on the head. Hidan's place is nice, it'll be great." They fell into a companionable silence.
"I invited Deidara here because his place was crap," Sasori said suddenly, breaking the silence. "He was honestly living in a dump."
"Sad, really."
"I want to make love to him," Sasori stated. Kakuzu, startled, glanced over at his friend. "I think I'll do it when we're living together. It doesn't-" Sasori coughed, "It doesn't bother me anymore that he's still a teenager. He acts beyond his age, and I'm sort of all right with it. But…" Sasori sighed. "But I need to talk to him about some things. I still have some of my morals left." Sasori sighed. A long silence descended between the two old friends, until Sasori spoke again. "Have you told Hidan?" Kakuzu sighed, letting his head droop.
"No." Sasori looked skeptically at his friend.
"Better to tell him before he gets too attached," he said sympathetically. "Best to let him know as soon as possible." Kakuzu gulped thickly.
"Please don't say that," he said softly. "I'll tell him when it doesn't matter anymore or...when it's too late."
Hidan's apartment was nice, Kakuzu tried not to think about the people who had shared the bed he now shared with Hidan, but aside from that, they were quite comfortable. The kitchen was always well stocked, the rooms were spaced so as to make the most out of the room given. The front window had a view of city muck, but it was sort of calming to look out and see apartment buildings and cars and smoke, and know you were making a difference by being part of the news industry.
They could stay up late sometimes eating Chinese takeout and talking about pictures and the layout of the next issue.
Deidara glared at his reflection. He did this every day, all he had to do was take a deep breath and go for it. Hooking his fingers under the edge of the scope, he pulled upward. With a gasp and a hiss, the metal scope came off his face. He set it down on the sink and took a deep breath. That fucking hurt. "Deidara! Dinner's here!" Sasori called. Deidara smiled and made his way out to the living room where their takeout had arrived.
"Come on, let's eat, hmm." They made their way lazily over to the table, Sasori setting down the food. Once they were both seated and into their meals, he struck up a conversation.
"So how did it happen?" he asked seriously, referring to Deidara's eye. Deidara shrugged.
"I don't remember, un."
"How can you not remember?"
"I was four, un. But I heard the story from my uncle, yeah." Deidara fell silent, poking at his food like a little kid.
"So what happened?" Sasori pressed.
"Apparently my dad got me, right across the eye, un," Deidara said, mimicking it with his finger. "But it doesn't matter, I don't remember my parents, un." Deidara sighed, spearing a sprig of broccoli and biting into it.
"So what happened then?" Sasori asked.
"Court took me away from my parents and let my uncle raise me, un," Deidara replied. He laughed, slightly. "My dad got in a shit load of trouble, but no one realized my mom got me across the temple, un," he said, gesturing at the side of his face.
"And you remember that?"
"Heard it from my uncle, un," Deidara replied casually.
"So you were raised by your uncle?" Sasori asked. Deidara laughed.
"If you can call it that, un. He fed me, that was about all I could really ask for, un."
"He didn't house you?" Deidara took a deep breath.
"How about we continue this later, after dinner, yeah?" he tried.
"All right," Sasori consented.
After Dinner they both sat on the couch, Sasori with his arm around Deidara's shoulders. "We were homeless, un. Well, he had a little crappy apartment when the court let him take me, un. But he also had to take care of my cousin as well, and we lost that apartment pretty quickly, un. So we lived on the streets a bit, stayed a few months with a few of his friends, just basically slept and ate where we could, un." Deidara pulled away from Sasori and turned on his back, laying his head in the redhead's lap. "When I was really little, it was like a game, un. Try to find the nicest park, see if I can find a bridge to sleep under, you know, un. But I caught on pretty quickly, yeah. We owned two guns and a knife, and at first my uncle slept with a gun and knife and I slept with a gun, but when Naruto- my cousin- was old enough, he also got a gun, un. Jiraiya- my uncle- slept with the knife, and I got the second gun, un. My uncle didn't have insurance, so he created my dumb scope, and by the time I actually saw a real doctor it was too late to save my vision, un." Deidara laughed slightly, and fell silent.
Sasori waited patiently, caressing Deidara's hair. Deidara closed his eyes, just enjoying Sasori's fingers in his hair. "He liked Naruto better, un. He was harder on me than Naruto, because Naruto was an abuse victim and was always scarred from it, un. But I didn't care, I helped out with Naruto because he's three years younger than me, un. I guess I was happy, but I don't know, un. There was one thing we did have: my record. A psychiatrist analyzed my speech impediment, and it was sort of disturbing, un."
"What do you mean?" Sasori asked. Deidara opened his eyes, smiling up at Sasori.
"Un- the Latin prefix meaning 'not', un. They say I started saying it in case I didn't say the right thing, sort of like automatically contradicting myself to please everyone, un. Hmm- a question, sort of like asking for someone's opinion, un. They say I developed that to sort of ask if I said the right thing, un. Same with yeah, un."
"That's sort of scary."
"But you want to know something, un? I didn't stop once I lived with my uncle, yeah." Deidara closed his eyes, breathing slowly through his nose. "Jiraiya wrote porn novels for a living, and was pretty loose about virginity and sex and shit, un. He kept pressuring me to become a prostitute, so we could have some money. But… he was perfectly capable of getting a job, un. He'd gone to college, but dropped out to pursue his writing. He didn't earn near enough to support two kids, but he never even tried, un." Deidara closed his eyes tightly.
"Naruto was always jealous, because he didn't know who his parents were, un. But they blinded me, and I learned later they were on a ton of drugs. When I was ten, my mom shot my dad though the head and went to jail for life, un. Is it really better knowing your parents were terrible and insane people, or knowing they died heroic deaths, un?" They sat in a long silence. Sasori knew Deidara was getting up his courage to deliver the last blow.
"I shot him," he breathed. Sasori gasped.
"You what?"
"Naruto was at a friend's house, and I was home alone with Jiraiya, who was drunk, un. He kept saying I should be a prostitute, but I kept saying no, un. He said I was just scared of the first time, and he'd… pop my cherry… un. I didn't doubt he would, and I kept saying no, un. I should've just told him I wasn't a virgin, but he wouldn't listen, and he was looking at me so scarily, yeah. He had a gun and the knife, and I had a gun, and he jumped on me and my arm got cut and then…" Deidara took a shivering breath. "Then the trigger went off and went straight through his head, un. Just like my dad, yeah. Funny how that works, yeah." Deidara gave an insane sort of chuckle. A dead silence descended upon the couple, neither even daring to breathe.
"It went to court, un," Deidara continued. "Everyone decided it was self-defense, but by the time all the trials and hearings and shit were over, I was eighteen, un. But I was still his oldest relative alive, since my mom shot my dad, so… I'm still paying off all their debts, un." Suddenly Deidara's lack of money made perfect sense, but Sasori didn't dare say so. "And I'm paying for shit for Naruto, but he doesn't know that, un." Deidara rubbed his eyes tiredly. Sasori bent and tenderly kissed his blind eye.
"I've never told that to anyone, un," Deidara said. He sat up now, facing Sasori while straddling his lap. Sasori gave a small nod, their lips almost brushing. "I love you, un."
Kisame somehow found himself making out on the bed with Itachi. He stopped, sitting back. Itachi seemed a bit lost now without his presence, and moved back against the headboard. "What's wrong?" he breathed. Kisame reached out and caressed his cheek.
"I don't want to hurt you," he replied. Itachi hugged his knees to his chest.
"So?" he breathed. Carefully, his hand snaked out to clutch Kisame's. "Is this really about what you want?" There was a long silence, neither wanting to say anything. Finally, Itachi wrinkled his nose. "Have I ever told you that you remind me of a fish?" Kisame laughed. He couldn't help it, Itachi could be so random and cute sometimes. Itachi flinched at the sound, but crawled a little closer to Kisame, placing his hands on the older man's chest. "I know you talked to Deidara."
"How?"
"I asked him. He said no. If you hadn't had a chat, he would've told me yes just to get me riled up." Itachi now had his head against Kisame's chest. "Well say something, Kisa. Don't leave me hanging."
"So what if I talked to Deidara? Is there a problem?"
"No." Itachi's voice was light and airy. "But I know what you talked to him about."
"Oh? And how have you come into this knowledge?" Kisame asked. Itachi grew less tense at feeling his voice.
"What else would you talk to him about? And now you're scared off, just proving my point."
"So what did we talk about?"
"Sex, or the lack thereof."
"Does that bother you?"
"What bothers me is that you're scared, now. Once of us has to have initiative, Kisa." Itachi's lips clumsily found Kisame's. Their tongues slipped together, and Kisame pushed Itachi back. "Just because I'm scared doesn't mean you should be," Itachi breathed.
"Does that mean you-"
"Right here, right now, I'm offering you my virginity." Itachi's leg slid around Kisame's waist. "And if you don't take it right now, you're the craziest bastard I know." Kisame needed no further prompting.
Deidara moaned, expertly wrapping his legs around Sasori as they kissed fervently on the bed. "Ah… please…" Deidara whispered, arching his chest against Sasori's. Sasori smiled against his lover's skin, suckling softly. Their erections pressed painfully together, the need building.
"So we're probably going to go along with Sasori to that art museum," Kakuzu said, sipping his tea.
"Yeah, that'll be fun," Hidan said, tipping his chair back on the back two legs.
"We'll get to hear Sasori rant about art, but if you think it's fun, I'm not going to hold it against you."
"Jeez, that'll be fun," Hidan said with a roll of his eyes.
"You're going to fall."
"No I'm not."
Itachi gulped thickly as Kisame bit at his neck. He wasn't scared now, just nervous. And through their touches, Kisame could feel that. He went slowly, caressing and feeling, letting Itachi's hands glide over his skin. It was important the Uchiha could memorise every inch of his body. Itachi's tin fingers splayed firmly over his chest, feeling the taut, hard muscles. They traveled over his shoulders, feeling the wing muscles on his back and the bumps of his spine. They ghosted over his naked backside, down his thighs, and finally, to that swelling flesh between his legs. Itachi took a sharp intake of breath, nimble hand following the length up and up against Kisame's abdomen. Kisame felt the blood rise to his cheeks at Itachi's shocked expression. "The more I get to know you…" Itachi said slowly, "the more I find I'm grateful." Kisame smiled and chuckled, kissing Itachi heatedly on the lips.
"Ah, where's the lube?" Sasori breathed against Deidara's lips. Deidara gestured at the bedside table. Sasori smirked, knowing Deidara would have moved all his personal trinkets in as well. He soon had the bottle out and uncapped. Deidara took it from him and began spreading over it Sasori's cock. Sasori gasped at the feeling of Deidara's fingers around him and the coldness of the lube. His face burned suddenly as the realisation hit him that the person between his legs was still in their teens. Deidara was looking up at him questioningly.
"You're all right with this, right, un?" Deidara asked. Sasori kissed his cheek sweetly.
"Of course," he said, pushing Deidara back on the bed.
"I hear they're debating gay marriage in court," Kakuzu said.
"It'll be nice if they let gays get married. Konan's been wanting to for a long time now."
"Oh really?"
"Yeah, her and Temari. I think they'd be a good couple, and it would give Konan some stability."
"I don't know them that well, so I couldn't say." Kakuzu sipped calmly at his tea. Hidan tipped further back and fell over.
Itachi gave out a strangled scream, holding tightly to Kisame as they eased together. He bit his lip as a few tears rolled out of his eyes, and Kisame kissed them away. "Do you want to stop?" he asked. Itachi shook his head.
"No," he gasped. "No, please…"
"All right. Just relax, kay?" Kisame rubbed Itachi's lower back, massaging the pale flesh. Itachi's breathing evened out, and he eventually relaxed.
"Move," he breathed. Kisame slowly pushed Itachi onto his back and slowly, gently, pulled out and gently, slowly moved back in. Itachi shuddered, holding Kisame tighter. "I'm all right. You can go faster." Kisame kissed Itachi passionately.
"Only if you're all right," he breathed, moving a little faster. Itachi suddenly convulsed, head tossing and hair flying, a moan to die for emanating from his lips. Kisame's cock throbbed painfully at the beautiful sight. He had made a point of not telling Itachi how beautiful he was, mainly because it meant nothing to him, but right now, he made an exception. "God, you are so beautiful," he breathed, nibbling at Itachi's newly exposed neck. Itachi said nothing, only letting his harsh breathing fill the air. But Kisame sensed he appreciated the compliment by the way he wrapped his arms around Kisame's neck and arched their bodies together.
Deidara cried out, writhing in pleasure. Sasori pounded erratically into his lover, sending them both closer and closer to their euphoric climax. Deidara's voice split the air around them, uncontrollably moaning out his pleasure. Each thrust sent them closer and closer to the edge of sexual gratification. "Ah! Sasori! Unnn!" Deidara cried. Sasori buried his face in Deidara's neck.
"So… close…" he groaned, and like that, they spilled their seed together, holding each other tight until the morning.
"No, you see, it worked something like the French Revolution," Kakuzu was saying.
"That makes no sense!" Hidan groaned. "And why did you bring John Steinbeck into it?"
"I didn't, you did. I was the one who made a reference to Pavlov."
"Oh yeah. But when did we start talking about Harper Lee?"
"Right around the time you decided Ólafur Ragnar Grimsson ruled Germany."
"Hey, he's easily confused with Horst Köhler!" Hidan cried.
"Sure." Hidan yawned, tipping his chair back even more.
"I'm tired. Want to go to bed?"
"Sure." And they fell right to sleep that night, having had a quiet evening at home.