Hey, I'm still alive, in case you were worried. This chapter is short (2,540 words?! Mon Dieu, Nikki, did your hands fall off?!) But it was either 2,540 words, or include the impending lemon. And for the emphasis I'll be putting on it, the entire next chapter is going to be the lemon. So enjoy this little teaser of a chapter.
Itachi awoke and endeavored to recall what had happened last night. Judging by his nakedness, he had had sex. Given he felt Kisame next to him, nothing silly had happened. And from the warm fuzzy feeling he had in his stomach, Itachi knew he had enjoyed it. He lay back, not wanting to open his eyes. He rarely saw the use in it, after all, he was completely blind, not even light made a difference. But now he just wanted to remember last night.
Kisame groaned and rolled over, smiling at his lover. He smiled at the enraptured smile Itachi held on his face. Leaning over, Kisame kissed him sweetly on the cheek. Itachi jumped slightly in surprise, but then reached out and caressed Kisame's cheek. Gently, they kissed in the morning light.
When they parted, Kisame couldn't wipe the smile from his face. "You stay here, I'll get you breakfast in bed," he said. Itachi begrudgingly accepted. Kisame got out of bed and slipped on a pair of boxers, leaving the room while humming to himself. Itachi lay facing the ceiling for another moment or so before he rose from the bed and slipped on a pair of boxers himself, after a few seconds of searching, and left to use the restroom.
Itachi returned to the bedroom and flopped back down on the bed, smiling to himself. Kisame opened the door, carrying a tray of food with him. He set it down across Itachi's lap. "Toast at twelve o'clock, eggs at three, coffee at nine," he said. He had his own plate of eggs and toast. It was one of his little quirks of eating eggs on toast with jam.
They ate in silence for a long minute, just enjoying each other's company.
"Thank you," Itachi whispered suddenly. Kisame felt his heart melt, and he reached out to stroke Itachi's cheek.
"No need. I should be thanking you. I know last night was a big deal." Itachi smirked, ever so slightly.
"I was referring to breakfast, Kisame."
"So, how have you been, un?" Deidara asked, sipping his coffee. Hidan shrugged.
"The usual, nothing new."
"How are you and Kakuzu, hmm?"
"I swear you love dissecting people's relationships," Hidan mumbled.
"I see."
"Huh?"
"So you haven't had sex, un."
"What?" Hidan leapt up, and Deidara sipped his tea calmly.
"Hey, I haven't ever seen you this desperate, un. Sit down and calm down, yeah." Hidan sat back down, composing himself.
"You get under my skin like no one else," he said.
"So what if you haven't had sex. Sex isn't everything, un."
"Have you gone through a metamorphosis of maturity or something?"
"No, I got a boyfriend, un," Deidara replied. "Anyway, are you at the point of trying to get him to shag you, un?"
"Why?"
"Because it never works, un," Deidara sighed. "But anyway, at least you two are happy, right, un?"
"Yeah."
"So that's all that matters, un," Deidara said, sipping his coffee.
"So have you two had sex?" Hidan asked. Deidara smiled sheepishly.
"Yeah, un," he admitted.
"Was it everything you've imagined?"
"I was still in shock from dictating my entire life to him, so I couldn't tell, un."
"So you begged him to do it again." Deidara laughed.
"You know me too well, un. So yes, it was everything I'd ever imagined, yeah."
"So was he the best you've ever had?" Hidan pressed. Deidara shrugged.
"Maybe. But the point was, that for once, it didn't matter, un."
"Thank you, Sasori," Hidan proclaimed, walking into the redhead's cubicle. Sasori looked up, bored.
"Hmm?"
"You made Deidara blush. Either you've got a mouth like a sailor, or he's developed some shame." Sasori stared. Hidan grinned, leaning down to come nose to nose to Sasori. "How was it?"
"Can't you get the dirt from Deidara?"
"He won't give me the fine details. But I suppose you won't either, will you?" Sasori sighed.
"It was just like any other profession of love." Hidan paused, eyeing his coworker.
"What?"
"Profession of love. Oh come on, you know what that means, don't you?" Hidan nodded slowly.
"Yeah, I get it, but I don't think you do. Come on, fucker, how about we take a smoke break?"
"I don't smoke."
"Yeah, well, you're going to take a smoke break." Hidan turned and Sasori followed him out of the back of the building. They stood in the crisp morning air for a long moment. Hidan finally sighed and turned to Sasori. "So he told you 'I love you'?" he asked.
"Yeah. What's the big deal?" Hidan sighed, shaking his head.
"I used to throw that phrase around. I used to just tell everyone I was with that I loved them. I said it to Deidara once, but…" Hidan looked at Sasori. "He just laughed. He said he'd never said it to anyone, and he wasn't about to start with a sleaze like me." Sasori snickered.
"Just like him," he said. Hidan looked at him sidelong.
"From what I can tell, he didn't even tell his family he loved them."
"Oh yes, I can see why," Sasori replied.
"So how's it feel to be the first person he ever loved?" Hidan shot. Sasori faltered. "You really don't get it, do you? That's about the best you'll get out of Deidara. As far as he's concerned, you're the one." Sasori stared.
"The… first?" he asked dumbly.
"Yes, you stupid git. It's the only first he still has left." Hidan was glaring at Sasori now. The redhead, surprised, took a step back.
"I'm sorry," was the only thing he could think to say. Hidan rolled his eyes.
"I should probably be thanking you, anyway. Deidara was on the verge of a mental collapse before you came along."
"What? It didn't seem that way to me."
"Yeah, well, it wouldn't be Deidara if he showed it, now would it? I just think the loneliness was getting to him."
"Thank you," Sasori said. "I'll watch my step from now on. By the way, how are you and Kakuzu?"
"Fine. Just fine. What are you implying?"
"Jeez, just asking, no need to get defensive. He really likes you, you know," Sasori glanced sidelong at Hidan. "And that's probably why he's holding out. Don't blame him, he's not exactly the most physical of people. Besides, he's bound to feel intimidated."
"By what?"
"The two stunners you've gone out with."
"What?" Hidan stared at his new friend, fallen completely off the train of conversation.
"Deidara and Ino. They're not exactly the ugliest people in the world."
"Yeah, so?"
"Hidan, those two are as good as clones. They're short, feminine, white, blond, and submissive. Now what's Kakuzu?"
"Um… not that?"
"Good job. And let's just say Kakuzu doesn't think he's the most gorgeous man around."
"But he is."
"To whom?"
"Uh… me, but-"
"Exactly. Maybe you should tell him that sometime." Sasori rubbed his hands together. "I'm going back in. Thank you for translating Deidara for me." And with that, he turned and left. Hidan looked around. Kakuzu wasn't ugly, how could he see himself as ugly? Hidan looked around. He'd heard about people having self-esteem issues, but he was always around such sturdy folk he'd never had to deal with it himself, or with another person. And Kakuzu was the last person he'd expect to have such problems. He was more likely to call something like that preposterous, rather than looking in a mirror and thinking himself ugly. They'd have to have a talk.
"Yes. I understand. No, not at all. But of course, sir. No, I suppose you wouldn't expect that. Next Monday? If it's really necessary. Yes. All right. Bye." This was the conversation Hidan walked in on one Saturday evening. Kakuzu hung up and looked over at Hidan. "You're back earlier than I expected."
"Yeah," Hidan said shortly.
"Your mom called."
"What?"
"I said your mother called. No, that wasn't her on the phone, I saved her message." Hidan wandered over to the phone, pressing the play button.
"Hi Hidan, this is just Mummy. I was just calling to talk about Christmas. Uncle Benny said he was going to be hosting the party this year, and I know you'd love to see all your cousins. Call me back soon. Love you." Hidan sighed, deleting the message.
"I haven't gone back there for three years. What makes her think I will this year?" Kakuzu's eyes asked the question for him. "It's all my stupid step-dad. I fucking hate him. And Uncle Benny is a pedophile. I don't want to see him either." Hidan sat down at the table, next to Kakuzu. "So how about you? Where's your family?"
"Hell, most likely," Kakuzu replied casually.
"Really?"
"They all died when I was six."
"Seriously?" Hidan's eyes widened. Kakuzu shrugged.
"I ran away. Nothing more to it."
"So what happened?"
"Foster care." Kakuzu looked up, and his expression told Hidan he didn't want to talk about it.
"You're beautiful." Hidan was never one for subtlety. "And even if you weren't, I wouldn't give a shit because that's not what I'm in this for." Kakuzu stared at Hidan.
"Pardon?" he asked after a long pause. Hidan sighed.
"How is that every time I'm sincere and sweet people get scared?" he complained. Kakuzu shook his head, hair dancing about as he cleared his head.
"It's not that…"
"What, don't tell me no one's told you that before!" Hidan cried. Kakuzu remained silent. "Then they're all as blind as Itachi." Hidan reached out and brushed Kakuzu's cheek with the back of his pale hand. Kakuzu sighed.
"It's not a big deal," he muttered. Hidan leaned forward and kissed Kakuzu sweetly on the lips.
"You sill don't believe me," he whispered huskily. "I really don't care what other people think of you, but I hate lying. So I can't let you believe a lie, now can I?" Hidan had managed to worm his way onto Kakuzu's lap, straddling the older man. "You're beautiful." Hidan kissed lightly along Kakuzu's jaw. "I'd never lie to you. I hate lying, it's pointless. It's best just to tell the truth, right?" Hidan kissed Kakuzu full on the lips, hoping to get a response from the other man. Slowly, Kakuzu's tongue probed at his lips and his hands flitted to Hidan's waist. Hidan smiled, wrapping his arms around Kakuzu's neck. They broke away from air, and Hidan pressed his forehead against Kakuzu's, looking into his eyes. "So don't worry bout it, kay?"
"Wasn't worrying," Kakuzu muttered.
"Bullshit. If you weren't worrying, then why hold out on sex?" Kakuzu blushed slightly.
"Because I'm not a sexual person. I know I'm not exactly the most intimate or physical of lovers, and after all your experience, I know I'd only let you down." Hidan chuckled. Had it been anyone else on some stupid one night stand, he would've acted sympathetic and offered them a ride home. But something Deidara had said recently floated to his mind.
"You don't have to be the best to make it matter," he said. Kakuzu still looked doubtful. "What would I have to do, strip naked and beg you for it?" Kakuzu's expression told him even that even work. 'Anyway, are you at the point of trying to get him to shag you, un?' 'Why?' 'Because it never works, un.' Hidan could see it now: himself, naked and aroused, about two centimeters from giving Kakuzu a blowjob, and Kakuzu just sitting at the table, working on a few papers. 'Get up, Hidan, I just cleaned the floor today,' he'd say. Hidan chuckled at the image, hugging Kakuzu. It was things like that that made life worth it all. "Oh Kakuzu, what would I do without you?" he laughed. He was finally getting it. It wasn't the sex that would matter, it would be the fact Kakuzu trusted him enough to share an intimate moment with him. It wasn't the point if he had the biggest dick in the world, or gave the best blowjobs, or could hold out longer than Hidan. It was the gesture that counted. It was all about the trust. Hidan chuckled again and got off Kakuzu, walking into the kitchen.
"You want anything?" he called, grabbing a mug to get himself some tea. Kakuzu didn't answer. He got up and walked behind Hidan, wrapping his arms around his smaller lover.
"You're short," he stated. Hidan scoffed.
"I'm taller than Deidara," he replied.
"But shorter than Konan."
"So?" Kakuzu said nothing more on the subject. "Remember when you hit me because I touched you?" By the way Kakuzu tightened his hold, Hidan knew he did. "Don't you find it ironic that you're the one coming after me now?"
"Cheeky bastard," Kakuzu muttered.
"But I understand it now," Hidan said. "It's not the point if you're the best fuck I've ever had. What matters is that we trust each other enough to share a precious and intimate moment."
"Hmm."
"What?"
"You said 'we'." Kakuzu spun Hidan around, their mouths clasping tightly to each other. Hidan smirked, wrapping his arms around Kakuzu's neck. If begging your lover to fuck you never worked, they reverse psychology should work like a charm.