A/N: Hey all, sorry for the hold up! My original story decided to take a new twist. I would like to congratulate Fyn for getting a personality and finding his purpose in my story. Yay for Fyn.
I sometimes think authors are the worst people on earth, because they get paid more the more pain they cause and how many good, strong, heroic people they orphan. XD Enjoy, this is a piece of crap, but enjoy anyway!
Time slipped past. Everyone seemed to stay the same, as if they were stuck in a bubble. Sasori was still a jerk to anyone who wasn't his Dei-chan, Konan still made vague threats about various bits of their anatomy if they didn't heed her deadlines, Kisame was still acting chivalrous to the point of sainthood, while Kakuzu was still as stoic and cold (not that Hidan minded, thankyouverymuch. And Deidara could keep his nose in his own business, for once.)
Itachi was quiet and still took the bait Deidara threw at him, and Zetsu still bounced between extreme happiness and utter depression. Tobi was Tobi, being the annoying shit as usual, and Deidara still stuck his nose where it didn't belong, blew shit up, and jumped at any sign of receiving alcohol. And, Hidan supposed, he was still the same. He still swore, rode his motorcycle as if he were bowling for pedestrians and bushes, and still loved Kakuzu with all his heart.
"Temari's pregnant."
"Yay! Bust out the champagne, un!"
"Is that all you think about?" Kakuzu sighed.
"No, yeah!"
"Excluding sex." Deidara paused, rubbing the back of his head and thinking hard.
"Uh…" Sasori rolled his eyes.
"Well congratulations, Konan," Kisame said.
"Yeah, congratulations," Itachi added.
"Thank you," Konan said politely. But Hidan had flippantly made a remark and now Sasori was about ready to kill him.
"Do we need to take this outside?" Sasori asked, glaring up at Hidan. Hidan shrugged.
"Dei ain't worth it."
"Oh it's so on!" Deidara yawned, leaning against the wall to watch the fight. Konan rolled her eyes and retreated into her office, Kisame behind her. Itachi snuck around the fight and back to his cubicle, and Kakuzu stood next to Deidara.
"You know, you could stop this," he said conversationally. Deidara shrugged.
"Danna's gonna get his ass handed to him, and I'd be damned if I didn't want to watch, un."
"You have your cruel side, don't you?"
"Are you kidding?" Hidan joined in. "Deidara only has two modes: cruel and seducing!" Deidara didn't take the bait, but Sasori did. As the verbal fight continued, Deidara looked around, quite bored.
"So how have you been, yeah?"
"You fucking bastard!" Sasori cried.
"Fine, actually," Kakuzu replied. "Marriage suiting you well?"
"Oh yes, quite well, thank you."
"Are you going to save your 'Danna'?"
"No, un. He knows I don't need defending, so this is his mess, yeah."
"I'd better make sure Hidan doesn't do something. Hidan!" Hidan turned, the front of Sasori's shurt scrunched in his fist. "Deidara's just waiting for an excuse to beat you to a bloody pulp. Put Sasori down, we have some pictures to take." Hidan glanced at Deidara, who was smirking slightly. Slowly, he lowered his fist. Deidara chuckled. Somehow, Hidan felt like he had done just what Deidara had wanted.
Konan sat on her desk, Kisame sitting beside her, a beer in each of their hands. "This reminds me of when we met," Konan said suddenly. Kisame chuckled.
"Don't remind me, that was the worst hangover I've ever had," he replied. Konan smiled.
"Didn't even bother me," she said.
"I'll never understand how you've managed to get an inhumanly high alcohol tolerance. It's been pretty long since college, hasn't it?"
"Sure has. Kind of strange how you can never tell what your future holds, no?"
"So true." They sat in silence for a moment, before Konan reached across the desk and plucked an envelope from a stack of papers.
"This is from one of our possible benefactors. If we can impress them enough, we might be able to make it big." Konan grinned.
"So we have to lock Tobi in a closet?" Kisame asked. Konan chuckled.
"He's a good worker and doesn't bring down the business, as long as he's not fawning over Deidara.
"You've noticed it too?"
"Who hasn't?" Konan sighed.
"I'd say everyone but Deidara."
"Let's hope it stays that way. Our little writer is finally happy, and I prefer to have a happy staff." Kisame hummed. "What?"
"I don't know. Deidara and Sasori are happy, but how about Hidan and Kakuzu?"
"What about them?"
"Is there anything, I don't know, different about them?"
"Different? I don't know, they've always been strange."
"Well, maybe not Kakuzu, but Hidan?"
"Hidan? He's still an ass. Nothing different."
"That's the thing, he's civil."
"Civil? Do you hear what's going on in the hall?"
"Not to Deidara, they've always been like that. But how about him and Kakuzu? He's sort of been treating him… I don't know… delicately?"
"To think you're a writer. I'd say fragile, which could easily be attributed to his tentativeness and tenderness in love."
"I don't buy that."
"I'm an employer, and as such I am not entitled to give out personal information."
"Oh, so it's that, is it?"
"Yeah." They sat in a companionable silence. But as always with Konan, she had to bring up some sort of business. "You own a car, correct?" she asked, standing up and walking around the desk.
"Yeah, why?"
"Put this on it," Konan replied, handing him a bumper sticker. Kisame grinned.
"No on Prop. 8. Great. You don't actually think it has a chance, do you?" Konan shook her head.
"Of course not. But you never know, and I'd rather be safe than sorry."
"Right." Another silence descended. "Really?"
"Please, Kisame, this is America. Freedom and justice for all, remember?"
"Right…"
"Besides, it violates our ninth amendment rights. No way is it going to pass." Kisame sighed.
"I hope you're right."
A silence hung over the office, thick and suffocating. Everyone was there, excepting Sasori and Deidara, Sasori had been sent to give a review of a new art exhibit in Canada, and Deidara was only a few minutes late. No one had actually seen Konan, she arrived before everyone else to unlock the doors, but they presumed the locked office door meant someone had to be there to lock it.
The doors to the building burst open, and Deidara stormed in, throwing the newspaper on the ground. He walked down the hall, banging once on each cubicle and grumbling angrily. Once he reached the stairs to the roof, he turned to announce to the office. "Anyone who gives a shit about rights come on up to the roof, un," he called, turning and marching up the stairs. Kakuzu and Hidan had emerged from the dark room. They exchanged a glance and joined Kisame and Konan to follow Deidara to the roof. They stood aside, watching Deidara assemble an explosive at the center of the roof. Then the blond retreated to join them. "Want to say anything poetic, yeah?"
"If only this was those bastards' heads?"
"You don't even write, Hidan, un. Did anyone prepare a eulogy to freedom?"
"We're kissing goodbye to any hopes of a free society with a bang," Kisame said, glaring at the ground.
"I'll miss the hope of a tolerant society. This will be forever the copper stain on the carpet of a good name," Konan sighed.
"But this isn't the end, yeah," Deidara grumbled fiercely. "Like hell we'll let this defeat us, un. A minor setback, that's all, hmm." Deidara bent and lit the fuse. "This isn't an act of mourning, it's an act of defiance, yeah!" and the act of defiance exploded.
Konan retreated into her office, while the rest were left to put on brave smiles and cheer on their new president. A little while later, she emerged. "Meeting!" she called. Everyone assembled before her, most just looking for direction. She had a determined expression. "As we all know, we know have a president who isn't an illiterate dumbass. The press is going to explode. America is going to explode. The world is going to explode. Deidara, please, I hate that look you're giving right now. Remove it at once. Anyway, with the entire world practically falling to pieces and scrambling like mad to give a new facet on this phenomenon, how are we going to get noticed?" No one said a thing. "We'll pay our homage to our new president, like everyone else. Deidara-" Konan pointed abruptly to the blond who was still sulking. "Would any gay people vote yes on prop. 8?" Surprised, the blond shook his head.
"No, un."
"Why not?"
"Because-"
"Don't go on an angry tirade, please, most of these people are on our side."
"Because it only affected us, yeah."
"Good. Finish it off with something about Obama."
"Obama… wasn't mean about his campaign?"
"Good, now don't sound like a four year old." Realisation dawned in Deidara's eyes.
"Obama represents change, yeah? Bring us out of this eight year hostage crisis, un? Well, we can start with equality, can't we?"
"Prop. 8 was proposed while Bush was president."
"Exactly my point, Konan, un. Go Obama, yeah." With that, Deidara marched determinedly to his cubicle. Konan smirked. She then rounded on Kisame.
"Kisame, how important is marriage?"
"Very?"
"To the stability of society?"
"Very."
"To a man."
"Very."
"Good, move your ass, and congratulate Obama!" Kisame was gone. Konan was on a roll. She turned to Zetsu. "Legislatively, how important is it that we vote?" Zetsu simply stared at her. "As oppose to China, Zet, come on!"
"Important."
"Good. Now, can I decide what you do, as a citizen to a citizen?"
"Not unless you're my boss."
"Exactly. And a boss has more standing than an employee in the workplace, doesn't she?"
"Not here."
"I'm not talking about here. I'm making an extended metaphor." Zetsu finally got it as well.
"I America, everyone is equal. Go Obama." And he, too, left. Now there was only Kakuzu, Hidan, and Itachi left.
"Itachi, I'm afraid Deidara is probably going to make many spelling mistakes because he's angry and doesn't have his Danna. Be sure to check his extra thoroughly, all right?"
"Yes, ma'am."
"Don't call me ma'am, I'm not the bloody queen." Itachi smiled lightly and left for his office. Konan then turned her sights to Kakuzu. "The world's on fire. In the end, if it's red white and blue, or rainbow, it looks the same. Get moving."
"What the hell was that supposed to mean?" Hidan whispered as they set out.
"If you burn an American flag, and you burn a gay pride flag, it's still a bit of cloth on fire, right?"
"Oh. OH!" Hidan's face lit up. "I get it!" Kakuzu rolled his eyes. Hidan could be so dense sometimes. "Does this mean we get to burn things?" Yup, dense.
"No, but we're going to have to capture the great joy to the great sorrow. Think we can manage?"
"Sure, if you buy me lunch."
"I'm game to throw the issue."
"You're no fun."
"Yes I am, fun is free." Hidan paused a moment, staring at his lover. Kakuzu rolled his eyes. "You have a dirty mind, Hidan."
The dark figure stared down at the issue of Akatsuki on his desk. The cover was what he had expected. Obama, change, bright future, blah, blah, blah. But the back cover was even more disturbing. Various things on fire, and a few bankers and republican politicians. Above it, it read: It's Almost Over. Go Obama. He flipped it open and stared at the article he wanted to read. There was only one writer in this entire magazine who he enjoyed reading.
A few minutes later, thoroughly moved, the man picked up his phone and dialed a number he knew by heart. Zetsu picked up on the third ring. "Hai?"
"I just read your article." His statement was met with silence. "Oh, Zetsu, why so quiet?"
"Go Obama."
"Pardon?"
"You heard me."
"Uh… yes… go Obama?"
"Exactly."
"You lost me."
"Well that's a first."
"What's with you?"
"I'm in a bad mood."
"I can see that."
"No, you can hear it."
"My place tonight, then?"
"I suppose."
"Six? We can have dinner?"
"If we must." And Zetsu hung up. The man sighed. His Zetsu had mental disorders to the point of not being able to function without medication, and sometimes it got the better of him. It was best not to let it bother him. On the other hand, this issue of Akatsuki was quite amazing…