A/N: It's short, and doesn't serve much prupose. Naruto's penis? No! The next chapter! Ok, I'm toying with the idea of fiddling about with Temari. I like her in this story. I don't know if you all just want some more KakuHi action, but I'm having a lot of fun with these supporting characters. And yes, everything about Deidara serves a purpose to later further the plot in a more KakuHi direction. Enjoy!
Sasori groaned, laying face down on the couch. Deidara looked at him silently. "Are you feeling all right, un?" he asked finally.
"I ache." Sighing, Deidara got up from the table and straddled Sasori on the couch, rubbing his shoulders gently.
"You've been working too hard, un," he muttered, bending so his mouth was close to Sasori's ear. The redhead hummed deeply. "Am I helping, yeah?"
"Yes," Sasori lied. "I feel nauseated."
"Hmm, maybe you're sick, hmm?" Deidara suggested.
"Yeah, probably," Sasori mumbled, drifting off into a light sleep right there. Deidara quietly got off him and kissed his cheek, grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch and draping it over him. He shook his head, going into the kitchen to prepare dinner. He might as well let Sasori sleep.
"Meeting!" Konan called. Everyone filed into her office with a sense of dread. They all gathered in her dark office, all unnaturally quiet. "We've received a letter from a company." A silence fell. Konan sighed. "They've offering to be our benefactor." All present groaned.
"So who is it?" Hidan demanded.
"Some Amegakure Corporation. They make computers or something."
"And why are they sponsoring us?" Sasori asked. He wasn't fooled.
"They say it would be good for their image. Of course, we'd have to put their ads in our issues, but that's almost it." Konan bit her lip.
"How much?" Kakuzu asked. Konan searched through the letter, and found a few numbers. Once everyone heard the percentages, they all froze. Deidara was practically salivating. Kakuzu was twitching slightly. Hidan crossed his arms over his chest.
"So? Akatsuki is not for sale, even if it's enough for us to retire on," he said. Deidara stared at him.
"Are you insane, un? Did you even hear those figures, yeah?" he cried.
"But some of us are only here because Konan took pity. They'd fire half of us in an instant. Deidara, you only graduated high school! If we let them take over, they'll fire you, Itachi, Zetsu, and maybe even Kakuzu!" Kakuzu sighed. Hidan was right. Kakuzu was used to putting his faith in money, mostly because people were unreliable, but now he had put his faith in Akatsuki. He couldn't let it go. But the money…
"We can find other jobs, yeah. Do you know how much money that is, un?" Deidara was saying. "It's not like the organisation falling to pieces would break our friendships up, hmm."
"Deidara, do you know what you're saying?" Hidan cried. "This place is all of our careers! We can't just sell it once the money looks good!"
"Yes we can, un! That money and notoriety could buy us a life in any other field, un!"
"So you don't care about Akatsuki?"
"Of course I care, un! I care enough to know when it'll earn me the most money, yeah!" Hidan threw up his arms, stomping angrily out of the building. The room was silent. Deidara sighed, removing his mechanical eye and setting it down on the table. "He's liable to break it, un," he muttered, running after Hidan. Kakuzu made to go after him, but Kisame stopped him.
"All friends need to have a good fight now and then," he said. "Let them be."
Outside, Hidan was leaning against the wall, staring up at the sky. Once Deidara came out, however, he turned to glare at his blonde friend. "You're a fucking whore. Just offer you enough money and you'll do anything," he said. Deidara glared.
"You don't have any sense of money, do you, un? Do you know how much that is? You could work until you're thirty, then retire, un!"
"If you live on a dollar a day," Hidan muttered.
"That's what I am doing, idiot, yeah!" Deidara sighed. "Don't you get it, un? The only reason I'm ok with it is because I know we're not going to fall apart, yeah. If half of us get fired, at least we're taken care of with the money, and we won't lose contact, yeah." Deidara sighed. "Do you know what that money means to me, un?" Hidan sighed.
"No."
"It means I can finally go to college, un. With that I've saved up, that money would be enough to send me anywhere I want to go, hmm." Deidara sighed rubbing his forehead. Hidan looked him over. He seemed a lot more worn, a lot more tired. Hidan was all right with scraping by a little longer, but Deidara had never done anything but. Of course he'd take the money and run.
"Why aren't you wearing a ring?" Hidan asked quietly. Deidara shrugged.
"Danna's been meaning to get me one, yeah. He promised this weekend, un."
"It'll keep people from flirting with you," Hidan pointed out. Deidara grinned.
"That's what I told Danna."
Friday night, and Kisame and Itachi came home late. "So what's up?" Kisame asked. Itachi said nothing. "You're mad, angry, or sad about something. I'm listening." Itachi sighed.
"Did Hidan really mean I'm only at Akatsuki because Konan took pity?" Kisame chuckled.
"No. I'd say she took pity on Deidara, but what he really meant is that Konan overlooked what other employers might not. Deidara's education, Zetsu's abnormalities, things like that." Kisame gave Itachi a bear hug. "Next time he says something rude like that, give him an earful, all right?" Itachi hummed, laying his head on Kisame's chest.
"What are you hungry for?" Konan asked Temari as she walked into the kitchen.
"Mmm, anything's good. I'm having kind of severe cramps, I think I'm just going to lie down on the couch." Temari walked into the living room and lay down. Konan, wondering if they really had anything other than ramen, began searching through the cupboards. Not finding anything worth cooking, Konan went into the living room to ask Temari about her preference for takeout. Temari was rubbing her stomach, face twitching in little bouts of pain.
"Are you all right?" Konan asked.
"Yeah… it just hurts…" Temari replied, sounding unsure herself. Suddenly her eyes widened and she cried out in pain. "Ah, Konan, I think I'm bleeding…" Konan bent between her legs to see if she was. She was.
"Just relax, Temari," she told her wife, trying to keep a level head. "We're going to the hospital. Don't move, I'll be right back." Konan quickly ran to the bedroom to grab her coat and car keys. She then returned to Temari, wrapping an arm around her waist and hoisting her to her feet. "Come on, just take it easy. How much does it hurt?"
"Ah, a lot," Temari replied as they reached the car. Quickly they got in and drove to the hospital.
Konan looked up as a doctor walked up to her. "Mrs. Suna?" she asked. Konan nodded. The woman wrinkled her nose distastefully. "My assistant will fill you in on the details." Another woman walked up to Konan, smiling reassuringly as the other doctor walked off.
"Mrs. Suna is resting well," she started. Konan sighed in relief. "But I'm afraid the baby is not. It was either her or the baby, and it was too young so survive. Also… I'm sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we were forced to make permanent modifications to Mrs. Suna's reproduction system. She won't be having any children." Konan sighed.
"But she's fine aside from that?" she asked. The assistant nodded.
"She's just sleeping from the sedatives. You live with Mrs. Suna, correct?" Konan nodded. "All right, I'll run through her medication. She'll have to take these once a day for the next few weeks…"
"I'll call in work once I know somebody's there. Itachi has a spare key, so he'll open up. Here, are you comfortable? I've put the remote within reach, and when you get hungry I'll make you something. Was breakfast enough? Do you still have an appetite?" Temari smiled as Konan rushed about.
"I'm fine, honey," she replied. Konan looked skeptically down at her. "And you're going to work."
"No I'm not. I'm staying home with you," Konan replied, crossing her arms over her chest.
"Nope, I've called Kankuro. You need to go to work." Konan knelt by Temari, who was lying on the couch.
"Will you really be all right?" she asked.
"Yup. You need to go spend time with your men." Konan sighed, laying her head on Temari's chest. They knew each other so well. Just then the doorbell rang, and Konan got up to answer it.
Konan walked silently and slowly, without her air of usual confidence, into her office. As she passed, every worker, including Itachi, stood up and watched her pass in silence. Kakuzu and Hidan just happened to be standing in the hallway as well. Everyone looked to Kisame, and then they all bunched around the door to Konan's office. Kisame was the one to knock on her door. "Konan-chan?" he called.
"Come in," Konan sighed. "All of you, I know you're there." Everyone shuffled into the dark office. Konan looked up from her papers, giving a shaky smile.
"So what's up?" Kisame asked. Konan sighed.
"Temari miscarried on Friday night. We… lost the baby. And she won't be having any more children." Konan hung her head.
"Konan, for what it's worth, I'm so sorry," Itachi said. Konan sighed.
"Thank you. It's all right, I guess, we can just adopt," she replied. Hidan opened his mouth to voice the obvious, but Kisame shot him a look that silenced him. "You all can go back to work, I'll be fine," Konan said. But Kisame was obviously exempt from that order. Everyone else filed out politely, excluding the blue man. Kisame leaned on the desk.
"Konan, really, I'm so sorry to hear that. Why don't you just take the day off? Maybe even the week." Konan sighed, shuffling a few papers.
"Would resting at home be a better cure than being here? I don't think so." Konan's head sank into her hands. Kisame placed a soothing hand on her back.
"God, my own selfishness now compromised Temari's life. If I hadn't wanted a kid, she wouldn't have had to go through that."
"Shh. It's not anyone's fault. Accidents happen. I know adoption isn't the same, but in the end, what does it really matter?" Konan said nothing, simply sobbing quietly. Kisame was the only one who knew how Konan felt about her womanhood. And they had known each other since forever.
"Konan, un!" Deidara called.
"What do you want, brat?" Konan called back.
"I just got a question from a reader."
"Well?"
"Is Akatsuki for sale?" Konan snarled.
"Fuck no! You better set them straight, you hear me?"
"Got it, yeah!" Konan turned to look at Kisame, giving him a watery smile, wiping the tear tracks from her face.
"Good thing I didn't wear mascara or eyeliner today, no? And apparently our readers have been misinformed. I think we'd better make it perfectly clear to whoever is out there that Akatsuki is independent." Kisame got up to leave, but Konan caught his arm. "Thank you, it helps to talk to a friend."
"Any time," Kisame replied. Konan nodded.
"I hope you're not planning another article on fishing." Kisame sighed.
"Damn," he muttered.
"Hey, Pein, we're meeting with that magazine owner today," Pein's coworker said. Pein snorted.
"That woman?"
"Yeah. Be prepared to be seduced. It's the only way those female business women do business." They all laughed at that. Suddenly, the last of their company entered the room, looking grave.
"I just bought the newest edition of Akatsuki. Here, listen to this: Reader: 'Is Akatsuki for sale? I've heard some rumors about being bought out by a larger company.' Let us make this perfectly clear: Akatsuki is not for sale. Akatsuki consists of our writing and editing staff, and without them, we're not Akatsuki. If a larger corporation happens to fund us, then that's one thing. But Akatsuki definitely will never be sold." The man looked up. "So we won't be buying them." Pein sighed.
"Everything is for sale for the right amount. Even this woman's virginity." Everyone laughed at that. "This won't be difficult. Akatsuki was an idea in a basement with a lot of booze. We can make it better, and send its profits through the roof. Look at their staff, it's a mess! Their editor is blind, and one of them didn't go to college. Once we buy it, we can clean it up a little bit. But remember, we will buy Akatsuki." Pein smirked. "They don't stand a chance."
Temari quickly looped the pieces of the tie, tugging it snuggly around Konan's neck and adjusting it. "I'm worried," Konan said.
"Hmm? What about?" Temari asked, kissing Konan's cheek.
"I don't know. But for once, Akatsuki is worth something. I'm scared money might tear us apart. Kakuzu knows how much this would mean, and Deidara's just been too poor his whole life to give up money of any sort. I don't want them to sacrifice the best thing that's ever happened to them for money."
"They'll figure it out," Temari said. Konan drew her wife close.
"I know they will. How are you feeling?"
"Great, actually. How about yourself?"
"Good."
"I've been thinking…"
"Hmm?"
"Can we have a little girl?" Konan smiled, kissing Temari on the lips.
"Of course. I was thinking the same thing."