Zetsu lay on his side, the feel of his lover pressed against his back both relaxing him and putting him on edge. Sighing, he drew away. "I'm going to take a shower," he mumbled, walking into the bathroom. Madara watched him leave sadly. Then he rolled onto his back, and reread Sarah's letter:
Dear Mysterious-Gay-Man,
Well, I can't help it. You're an ass. You met an old 'friend' and couldn't keep your hands off him, and you lover happened to overhear and get angry with you? I really only see one to blame. But if it meant nothing, if it was some abnormal situation, your lover deserves to hear about it. Maybe you had your hands on this friend, but maybe it wasn't in any particularly arousing way. Your lover deserves to know. If you'd give him the stars and moon, he deserves to know. A simple 'I love you' is often a nice gesture to some, but it makes you sound like a cheater. Tell him everything you love about him, down to his toenails. He obviously has very little faith in you. So why don't you redeem yourself and have a little chit-chat with him, eh? Explain that this 'friend' is absolutely nothing, and that your whole view of life is lit up by his mere presence. If he still doesn't believe you, you probably did cheat and should cut it off. Nobody likes a cheater.
-Sarah.
Madara sighed. Sarah probably knew a lot more than she was letting on. But she was right. Carefully, Madara got out of bed, slipped into his pants, and knocked politely on the bathroom door before walking in. Zetsu made no acknowledgement of his presence. "Zetsu, I know you're still mad at me. And I don't blame you. I guess it's kind of a fear of yours I'd lose interest in you and just get with some slut. But we've already had our fling. Back when I was twenty-nine, I was in a band. I had the whole rock-star thing going, when I met this fifteen year old kid. Ok, yeah, I was hooked. But I was also drunk, and he was drunk, and I can't remember any other shit I had done. Afterwards, I was too ashamed to return his calls. He was just some homeless kid who liked my music. After a few weeks, I was called by my uncle, Fugaku, that I was now in charge of the family business." Madara sighed. "I hurt him so bad. I listened to his messages. He had found a quarter on the ground and used it to call me. I promised him I'd see him, or find him, that I wouldn't leave. It was a lie, I just ditched him. I had to say something when we finally met again. I couldn't just leave things the way they were." Madara sighed.
"What's brought this on?" Zetsu asked quietly.
"I just thought it was a pity to let you stay angry over a misunderstanding." Madara got up and stretched. "I'll go get us something to eat, all right?" Zetsu grunted. Madara left and went to go make something.
Zetsu got out of hi shower, drying off his hair and walking into the bedroom. He found a piece of paper on the bed. Feeling no conscience at the movement, he picked it up and read it. Smiling, he set it back down. Hopefully Madara knew nothing of Sarah's true identity. Madara stepped back into the room.
"I can explain-" he started, but Zetsu just shook his head. It was sweet Madara finally cared enough to consider asking for help.
Deidara knocked on the bedroom door. "Sasori?" he asked quietly, noting the towel shoved under the door.
"Mm?"
"Dinner, un."
"Eat without me."
"All right." Deidara trudged back to the table, eating alone. He got a bit of work done, though, so it wasn't a total waste.
Deidara and Sasori walked in the next morning, and the office fell silent. Hidan and Kakuzu had been arguing in the hall, and Tobi decided he was going to side against Hidan, so there was a good deal of noise. But everyone stopped and stared at them. Deidara casually walked to his cubicle and left Sasori on his own. Hidan was giving the redhead strange looks, while Kakuzu was just asking what had happened, merely with his eyes. Sasori said nothing, simply making his own way past the group to his own office. Kakuzu and Hidan exchanged a glance. "Tobi, get lost before I lock you in the closet again," Hidan said. Tobi was gone. With a nod, Hidan left to Deidara's cubicle and Kakuzu to Sasori's. "So what's with your eye?" Hidan asked casually. Deidara looked up, smiling.
"I walked into a wall when I had my eye off, un. Why?"
"Is there anything I should know about?" Deidara laughed.
"Of course not. I can stand up for myself, love, un."
"Sometimes it's hard to stand up against certain people."
"Hmm?" Deidara swiveled in his chair. "Come on, Hidan, you're just getting paranoid, un."
"So you walked into a wall?"
"Your depth perception is really off when you can't use one eye, un."
"Oh. Ok, whatever you say."
"So where'd Deidara get that nasty bruise?" Kakuzu asked. Sasori gulped.
"Something about taking his eye off wrong."
"Are you sure?"
"Yeah." Kakuzu sighed.
"Is there anything you want to talk to me about?"
"No, nothing. Shouldn't you be getting to work?"
"Yeah. I should be." Kakuzu turned around and left Sasori. He and Hidan regrouped out of earshot of the married couple.
"Deidara says he walked into a wall without his eye," Hidan stated. "It seems reasonable."
"Sasori says he hurt his eye putting it back in," Kakuzu said.
"It seems someone's lying," Hidan said. "Which one? You don't think Sasori would…"
"No. Definitely not," Kakuzu stated, then sighed. "But if there is something going on… God… it would be him, wouldn't it?"
"Let's not jump to conclusions," Hidan said. He felt it too. Deidara and Sasori weren't exactly stable, but at least their relationship was. If those two weren't in love, it seemed that no one was. "I'll just ask Deidara later."
"Deidara?" Hidan asked on his lunch break.
"Mmm?"
"So you walked into a wall?"
"Mm-hmm. Why, un?"
"Sasori says you hurt your eye putting your scope back in. Deidara, if anything's going on-" Deidara laughed.
"He said that because that's what I told him, un," Deidara said cheerfully. "Danna worries about my eye, and he doesn't like it when I don't wear it, un. He'd just worry more if I told him I hurt myself while not wearing it, hmm."
"Oh. I guess I was being too suspicious, then?"
"What, you didn't actually think Sasori had anything to do with this black eye, did you, un?" Deidara asked, eyes going wide. "Danna would never do that! He loves me, yeah." Hidan laughed as well.
"Yeah, pretty stupid," he said.
Sasori snuck into the bathroom, where he found Deidara leaning against the wall. "Hey," Deidara greeted, as if they were merely meeting on the street. "Unbutton your shirt, yeah," he said. Sasori slowly undid his shirt, exposing his bruised ribs. Deidara sighed. "Yeah, I thought it'd bruise, un." Sasori gulped. Deidara stepped up to him, tracing the purple bruises. "At least I learned something from my uncle, yeah. When you bother hitting somebody, do it where others won't see, hmm." Deidara placed his head on his Danna's shoulder. "The only reason I didn't tell anyone he hit me is because I hit back harder. Guess you had to learn that firsthand, huh?" Deidara held Sasori closer, and Sasori held him.
Kakuzu came into the apartment, looking a bit nauseated. "What's wrong?" Hidan asked, helping his lover to the couch. Kakuzu sighed.
"My doctor says… no sex or any other strenuous activity. It might be… damaging…" Hidan bit his lip, holding his Kakuzu. Like his dream, he feared taking his eyes from the man, lest he be taken away. Their doom was nearing.
"Hey, Zet-man, un?" Deidara asked. It was very hard to get Zetsu to pay attention to you, Deidara had found. He could, quite easily, merely tone you out. He didn't do it to be rude, more of a reflex. No one asked.
"Hmm?"
"He's yours, isn't he?" Zetsu sighed, turning his back to the blond. "Zetsu, I'm not making fun of you!" Zetsu grunted. "And you have every right to be pissed at him. I know he's so easy to just lose your head at, hmm." Zetsu said nothing. "Don't be mad I slept with him, un. Hell, I've slept with both of you, yeah!"
"Whore."
"If it gets you to sleep at night, hmm," Deidara brushed off the comment. "But there's nothing, un. If you're mad at him, get mad at him for something he actually did, hmm. I'm sure he's done plenty, yeah." Zetsu glared at Deidara. Deidara sighed. "I'm sorry, all right, un?" Zetsu sighed.
"I don't need your help."
"Good, I'm not offering it, hmm." Their eyes connected. "I'm just sorry I had to be involved in making you pissed, hmm."
"Well thank you," Zetsu said curtly. Deidara knew this was likely the best he was going to get from Zetsu and left the duel colored man.
"Oh my God! She is so cute!" Strangely enough, this little squeal did not come from Deidara. It was Kisame. Temari had a day off, and was able to bring her and Konan's new little girl, Tenten. Now the entire Akatsuki was crowded around her. She was almost a year old, and looked like a sturdy little cookie. She was balanced right now on Konan's hip, Kisame bent in front of her. Deidara was hovering at a polite distance, not very interested in the baby.
"I thought you liked kids," Hidan said. Deidara laughed.
"Are you kidding?" he laughed. "I hate kids, un."
"I never thought Kisame was the kind for kids. Did you know about this, Itachi?"
"No," Itachi said. Zetsu, likewise, seemed fond of the child. Strangely enough, Tenten liked both of them, willingly being held by anyone. It seemed all the people you wouldn't expect liked kids.
"Don't you like kids?" Kakuzu asked Hidan. Hidan shivered.
"Please, don't get me stated. I'll never change another diaper in my life, thanks to my brother and sister."
"Yeah, it must be an older sibling thing, un," Deidara said. It seemed true enough, Deidara, Hidan, and Itachi all had younger siblings. "Why don't you and Kisame get a kid, un?" Deidara suggested. Itachi shrugged.
"He never mentioned it before," he replied. As they talked, Deidara absentmindedly fiddled with his ring.
"When's Sasori getting back?" Hidan asked.
"Hmm? Tonight, yeah," Deidara replied. "He's such an ass, running off to that art fair, un." Deidara grinned, and Hidan knew everything was all right in the world. He should really stop depending on Deidara and Sasori for his own stability.
Deidara finished his work before lunch, and he and Hidan decided to go out for lunch. It had been a while since they had a nice little chat.
"So how are things going with Kakuzu, hmm?" Deidara asked.
"Fine," Hidan replied. "I guess we're both hoping for a little more time." Deidara nodded, sipping his tea. Hidan had explained everything about Kakuzu's heart condition. And he had just brought his friend up to date on the doctor's new orders.
"I guess none of us want to think about it, un," Deidara said.
"I'll deal with it when the time comes," Hidan said, trying not to cry.
"Hmm. We're so attached, it's scary, un," Deidara said, eyeing the sky.
"What do you mean?" Hidan asked suspiciously.
"Doesn't it just seem, well, like we're too attached, un? We could see their faults and not care, un. Sometimes when you love someone, you see their faults and accept them as faults, un. Does it seem like that, hmm?"
"You're scaring me, Deidara."
"But think about it, could you leave Kakuzu, yeah?" Hidan glared.
"No. I can't."
"My point, un. I dunno, I guess we should be thankful we're in love like that, hmm. We'd better be getting back to work, yeah."
"Hey, Deidara!" Hidan called down the hall after the blond. Deidara turned around.
"Hmm?"
"We're going dancing tonight. Want to come?" Deidara shook his head.
"Nah, Danna's going to be getting home, un. I want to make him dinner, yeah."
"Whatever, your call," Hidan said, turning back to Kakuzu. "Come on, let's go have some fun!"
They lived it up that night. Of course, Kakuzu was a stick in the mud, and Itachi was extremely embarrassed, but Kisame, Konan, and Tobi all had a blast. It was the kind of night you didn't care who stared at you. It was the kind of night you just wanted to have fun, and if the next day in bed was what that took, then it sure as hell was not going to stop them. And on the bright side it kept Tobi out of Zetsu's hair for a night without having the schizophrenic face Madara.
They danced and drank. Kisame and Konan had a million and one stories about drinking. The two had apparently met in a bar, Kisame challenging Konan to a drinking competition and Konan drinking him under the table without any hesitation. They laughed, and everyone had fun.
Kakuzu and Hidan got home that night when Hidan's cell phone rang. Hidan took out his phone and checked caller ID. "Huh?"
"What is it?" Kakuzu asked.
"It's Blondie. Wonder what he wants?"
"You'd better answer, then," Kakuzu said. They both sensed it. Those two should be fucking each other into the wee hours of the morning. Quickly, Hidan flipped his phone open.
"Hello?"
"Hidan… help. I want to die, un."