A/N: Good news! My original story has met its deadline, so I've had a few extra minutes to dish out some angst. And there's more to come, don't worry. Does it ever get better, Nikki? you might ask. No. Everyone just explodes. Of course it gets better. I'm saving ALL the angst and pain and suffering for 'I'm sure it was art'. If you have not read that, please do. If you have, you'll know what I'm talking about. I'm working on that chapter as well, and also working on 'Tangoing with three'. But, Nikki, you might say, that's not your story. Believe me, I've put more of my soul into that than the author. And she's busy, and wants me to get it written. And now she's talking about setting me up on a blind date because I'm apparently a stiff. Oh well, I'm not so busy anymore, so I'll have a little time. XD ENjoy!
The apartment was dark and dreary by the time Hidan and Kakuzu arrived. Not a light was on, not a sign of life. Hidan licked his lips, Kakuzu felt his palms go sweaty. "Wait out here," Hidan said hoarsely. He had a feeling it was only Deidara here. Kakuzu waited awkwardly, on edge, in the living room as Hidan ventured down the hall. He heard nothing. Scared, he came to the bedroom and opened the door slowly. A huddled dark figure sat in the corner, the only brightness about him being his bright shock of blond hair. "Deidara?" Hidan asked, not believing it. Deidara looked up, face stained with tears. Hidan felt sick. Deidara didn't cry. Not when his marriage was renounced by the state, not when Sasori was gone for days on end, not even when an old lover showed up and couldn't keep his hands off. Not ever was Deidara supposed to cry. Hidan rushed over as Deidara began sobbing again. He held the blond against his chest, rubbing his back.
Deidara, haltingly, chokingly, tried to say something, but all that came out were wet sobs. After a moment or two he pushed Hidan from him, running to the bathroom to be sick. Hidan cringed, not hearing anything come up. Deidara had already been sick tonight. The blond returned, face contorted in agony, and just fell on Hidan, sobbing uncontrollably. Hidan held Deidara, but he doubted the other felt it. As he held him, Hidan noticed a bottle of pills nearby. Hidan squeezed Deidara harder. The blond had tried to kill himself.
Eventually Hidan managed to get Deidara out to the living room, supporting much of the blond on his shoulder. Kakuzu's eyes widened and he took Deidara's other arm. "What happened?" he asked.
"I don't know," Hidan said, panicking. "Let's jus take him back to our place, all right?" Kakuzu said nothing, simply helping carry Deidara out of the apartment and to their car. Hidan held him in the back seat while Kakuzu drove, the only noise being Deidara's pained sobs. Those noises made both of their hearts throb achingly.
"Come on, Deidara," Hidan said, trying to be gentle as he dragged the blond into the bathroom. Kakuzu had gone back to the blonde's apartment to try and figure out what had happened. Deidara had just collapsed, merely being dragged by his friend. "Deidara, can you undress yourself?" Deidara simply shivered, face hidden behind his hair. Hidan sighed, helping strip Deidara and into the shower. Sort of ashamed to be witnessing Deidara's sorrow, let the blond have his privacy in the shower. He sat on the toilet, listening to the running water. A few minutes later Deidara stuck his head out of the shower, reaching into the medicine box. He had his hand around the pain killers before Hidan stopped him, taking the bottle from his hand and kissing him on the forehead. Deidara pushed him away and retreated back into the calming stream of hot water. Hidan replaced the pill bottle, trying to keep his head. Deidara had completely lost it. At least Hidan should keep his head.
Once Deidara was dried, Hidan helped him to the bed he shared with Kakuzu. Deidara just collapsed, crying silently into the pillow. God, that bed must be all too familiar. Hidan sighed, sitting down next to the blond. "Just sleep, Deidara," Hidan said, his heart pounding. Deidara groaned.
"God… he's gone…un…" Deidara moaned. Hidan felt his heart skip a beat. He bent and kissed Deidara's head.
"Just sleep. Tomorrow will be better," he said.
Once Deidara had cried himself to sleep, Hidan went out to the living room to find Kakuzu sitting on the couch, head in his hands. Hidan sat down next to him, throat constricting. "What?" he simply asked.
"Sasori. He's- he's dead." Hidan's eyes widened.
"What?"
"This evening he… was in a car accident. I talked to his grandmother. She's taking care of everything." Hidan felt almost paralyzed. Deidara was what he would be, in time. Kakuzu and Hidan were hugging then, just needing something to hold onto in this crazy, spinning world.
Hidan took first shift to watch over Deidara. If the blond should wake and decide to kill himself again, they had decided it was the best if one of them kept watch while the other slept, and then switch off.
Hidan got up, stretched, and walked out to the living room, rousing Kakuzu, who had camped out on the couch. Kakuzu grunted, rubbing his eyes. "How's he doing?" he whispered.
"Asleep and not trying to kill himself. I guess that's about as good as we're going to get." Kakuzu stood and stretched. He then drew Hidan into a hug, burying his face in Hidan's hair. Hidan held him. It was harder for him to keep a level head. He had known Sasori for years longer than anyone else, it would be much more like having his heart ripped out.
Hidan got very little sleep that night. He got a few winks, but he had too many visions of Kakusu's dead body. He woke early the next morning and went to make coffee. It was made extremely dark that morning, because they all needed it. Sitting by the window in the living room, Hidan watched the sun rise. An hour after the sun rose Kakuzu awoke and rose, coming out to the kitchen and getting a cup of coffee. "How is he?" Hidan asked, voice hoarse. Kakuzu sighed.
"Still crying in his sleep." Hidan gulped.
"Oh." They looked at each other. Neither had slept well, both had dark rings under their eyes. They both had lost a close friend. Setting down their coffee, they drew each other into an embrace.
"I have a key to their apartment. I'm going to go over and check their message machine. Last night… Sasori's grandmother called Deidara saying she would take care of everything, but she just wanted him out of the way. And he can't handle anything." Kakuzu sipped his coffee, merely out of his lack of things to say.
"Deidara didn't say anything more about what happened?" Hidan asked. Kakuzu shook his head.
"Delirious with shock, I suppose," he replied. "I should be making sure everything's all right, though." Hidan gulped thickly.
"Yeah." A soft cough attracted their attention. Deidara was leaning against the wall of the hall, eyes puffy, red, and bloodshot. He seemed fragile at that moment, like at any moment he would crack again and try to kill himself. Hidan set his coffee down and held the blond, helping him to the table. "Here, I'll get you some coffee," he said, but Kakuzu already had it poured. Deidara accepted it with a quiet 'Thanks', and downed a single scalding gulp. Hidan licked his lips, sitting on the table next to where Deidara sat in a chair. The blond took a shuddering breath, closing his eyes.
"They wouldn't let me see him, un," he said quietly, pathetically. "I got there because we live together, so they had to call his house, hmm. But they said family only, yeah. I- I had to argue with them while he was… he was dying, hmm. I had to argue over my marriage, yeah." Deidara hung his head, hair falling around his head like a veil. A few tears leaked down his cheeks. "I had to stand there while he slipped away, arguing, yeah." The situation was physically sickening. In a moment of love, life, and death, Deidara was still trapped in the world of politics. Disgusting. "Once… once h-he was… they let me see him, un. I d-didn't get to tell him I l-love him, yeah." Hidan put a hand on Deidara's back as the blond sobbed, feeling a few tears slip past his dams. Glancing up, he saw Kakuzu had his head in his hands, breathing deep. Why? Why did they all have to be sitting here crying? Why did everything have to hurt so much?
Kakuzu opened the door to the apartment, hating how it reminded him of the previous night, and yet, of the previous months- really, had it only been months? It seemed like this place had a million and one memories. It was terrible how normal it looked. Not a thing had been touched. Not a picture had been overturned, not a single thing touched. Like a spirit, Kakuzu wandered into the bedroom, hating seeing the bed made. Deidara wouldn't do that. Everything was too clean. Part of him wished something was out of place, so that there was some physical evidence of Deidara's pain.
Suddenly the phone rang. Jumping, Kakuzu answered it. "Hello?"
"Mr. Akasuna?"
"No, he's not here right now," Kakuzu said, not really knowing which Mr. Akasuna the man was talking about.
"I see. When might he be reached?"
"Which one are you talking about?"
"Deidara Akasuna."
"I don't think he'll be back for a while. I can take a message to him or give you his number."
"I see. I was hired by Mrs. Akasuna to take care of Sasori Akasuna's affairs. Is this Mr. Akasuna's residence?"
"Yes." Thank God, a lawyer. Kakuzu liked lawyers. They really didn't care who their clients were, they simply did their job.
"I see. And you are…?"
"A family friend."
"I see. And Mr. Akasuna will not be reached at this number?"
"I doubt it. He's staying at my apartment. Here, I'll give you that number." Kakuzu recited the number off.
"Thank you. I will reach him there." And the lawyer hung up. Kakuzu replaced the phone. He was to thankful Deidara was taken care of. Sighing, Kakuzu went back to his rounds about the apartment. Why was he even here? Why was he putting himself through this? It was terrible to say, but he had never expected to outlive his friend. Never.
He found himself again in the bedroom. Sighing, he decided he'd better just take a look around. He couldn't explain it, but there was something off about the whole situation. Opening the closet, he found nothing out of the sort. What was he looking for, anyway? This was Sasori's closet, Deidara using the dresser, and everything about it screamed Sasori. The shoes were lined up nicely, the coats hung neatly, not a single thing was out of place. Sasori hated having anything but clothes in his closet, anything that did not fit- like that shoebox- would be thrown out.
Kakuzu shook his head, wondering if he had just gone through such a blatantly obvious thought process. Bending, he picked up the shoebox. Maybe Deidara had left it there. No, it was the wrong size. Taking a deep breath, Kakuzu opened the box. He was met with stacks of papers, with a sticky note on top reading 'CLOSE THE BOX'. A small, sad smile tugged at Kakuzu's lips. He took the note off, and found another one: 'CLOSE THE FUCKING BOX'. Kakuzu sighed. Should he? He shouldn't. He really shouldn't. But he did. He took the stick off and stared at the first paper. A single word stood out to him: 'will'.
"Hello?" Hidan answered the phone, hoping it was Kakuzu.
"Hello. My name is Mizuki. Is Mr. Akasuna available?" Hidan's heart clenched.
"Which one are you calling for?"
"Deidara."
"Um… yes. Why are you calling for him?"
"I'm a lawyer, and I was hired by Mrs. Akasuna, Mr. Akasuna's grandmother to take care of Mr. Akasuna's affairs."
"Oh. Um… it might not be… Why do you need to speak with him?"
"I need to set an appointment of going over Mr. Akasuna's affairs."
"I see. I'll get him." Hidan put the phone on the table, gulping before placing a hand on Deidara's shoulder.
"Deidara?" The blond looked up. "There's a lawyer who needs to talk to you." Deidara gulped and nodded, accepting the phone Hidan handed him.
"Hello?"
"Hello. Sasori has left no will, as you should know. We will need to meet, you and his grandmother being his only living relatives." Deidara bit his lip. "When would you be available?" Deidara gulped.
"I… I don't know, un. I have work, yeah…" Deidara gulped, trying not to break down. "Tomorrow, un?"
"If that suites you. His grandmother will also be present. I can see you at about four. Will that be suitable?"
"Mm-hmm, un."
"Good. I will e-mail you the address of my office. And then there's the matter… of the funeral." Tears once again slipped from Deidara's wet eyes. "Mrs. Akasuna has offered to arrange everything."
"I… I see, hmm." After exchanging numbers, the two hung up.
"Ah, Mr. Akasuna. Have a seat." Deidara simply sat at the desk, next to the old woman. Kakuzu and Hidan hovered by the door. The lawyer raised an eyebrow. "You two are welcome to have a seat as well," he said. The two each sat. "Well then. Sasori left no will, so everything would automatically go to his closest living relative." The lawyer glanced at Chiyo. "That would be… Chiyo." Deidara had been sitting with his head in his hands, and he didn't even bother to look up. But his wedding ring was clearly visible.
"Oi," Hidan spoke up. "What about Blondie?"
"Deidara and Sasori… their marriage isn't recognized by the state." Deidara drew his legs up to his chest, pressing his face to his knees.
"So?" Hidan asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Legally… I'm sorry, it's not right, but-"
"We'll sell his possessions," Chiyo said suddenly. "And we'll split the money evenly between the two of us." Hidan swallowed thickly, glancing at Kakuzu. He saw the anger there as well. Chiyo didn't need any money, but Deidara did. But she was being generous.
"That seems reasonable," Mizuki said. "Do you find this acceptable, Deidara?" Deidara nodded without looking up. Mizuki licked his lips. "Right. Should we schedule the funeral for next week?"
"Yes, I think that would be appropriate. Just a family funeral-"
"Hang on a moment," Hidan growled. "How about those of us who actually care about Sasori, huh?" Chiyo turned her steely gaze to Hidan, who met it with his own.
"I am his grandmother, I think I should decide what is best."
"Yeah, and Deidara married him, so he has no say?" Chiyo seemed disgusted at the mention of her grandson's marriage.
"I am his family-"
"So is Deidara," Hidan shot. "God, you can't even imagine what Deidara's going through! And who are you to call yourself Sasori's family? I know for a fact that you two have spoken three times in the past ten years!" Hidan stood, glaring at the woman who, at the moment, seemed the embodiment of everything he loathed.
"Do you expect me to stand aside and let riffraff like yourself attend my grandson's funeral? I know that Deidara does not have the money to pay for it. Is the only reason I'm included in this because of my money?"
"If you cared about him at all you'd let his friends say goodbye properly!"
"Sasori is dead, and it makes no difference to him who attends his funeral."
"Then why hold one at all?" Deidara made a choking noise and steadied himself on the desk. Hidan continued his screaming match with Chiyo, while Kakuzu placed a comforting hand on his shoulder.
"Deep breaths, Deidara," he said. Deidara gasped, tears streaming down his face.
"I'm going to be sick…"
"Just keep breathing. Focus on something." After a few tense moments, where Kakuzu wasn't sure if his coat or the rug was more expensive to be vomited on, Deidara regained himself and curled back up in his chair. Kakuzu was going through everything he knew about law, trying to find a way to get Deidara out of this mess. He couldn't see a way.
"Hidan," he snapped. Hidan looked back at him. "Please, just sit down. We can deal with this civilly." Hidan, begrudgingly, sat. Kakuzu cleared his throat. "Financially, Deidara will receive the insurance, correct?"
"No."
"And why the fuck not?" Hidan demanded. "Don't tell me…"
"I'm sorry, but that's the way the law goes." Kakuzu stood up, handing Hidan a set of keys.
"Take Deidara to the car. He doesn't need to hear this," he said. Hidan licked his lips before nodding, standing, and helping Deidara from the room. Once they left, Kakuzu turned his sights to Mizuki. "You're bound to push him to the point of no return if you blasphemy his marriage right in front of him." Kakuzu looked intensely at the man. "I believe Deidara is a citizen of this country. He is also a human being. Do you mean to undermine both of these and ignore all his rights?"
"I didn't come up with it," Mizuki replied. Kakuzu couldn't help the images of Deidara, dead, that flashed through his mind. And it was legal…
"Supposing Deidara didn't work," he said slowly. "Supposing he depended on Sasori for his finances. What then? Is letting him starve legal?"
"He has friends like you he can stay with. And family."
"Supposing he didn't. Suppose all he had was Sasori. Are you defending the laws that are formed out of discrimination and would allow Deidara to completely fall through the safety nets of our society merely for a little fact of gender?" Kakuzu leaned down so he was eyelevel with Mizuki. "Murder comes in many forms, Mr. Mizuki."