A/N: Well, I seem to be getting the most confusion on this story. So far two people have flamed me (my first two flames ever on this site) saying that yuri was dumb and 1. Zetsu should be screwing Tobi and 2. Pein should be screwing Konan. Memo: It's not about SCREWING. I never said anything about their partners being their lovers, simply that they have destined lovers. I put a yuri warning. But some of you may still be confused. "WP, why did you put in a yuri pairing? I mean, a lot of yaoi fans don't support yuri." And the answer is simple:

I needed someone outside of our little group, sort of like a reality check. A lot of people, myself included, write about normal love as if it were destiny. So what's to make this different than poor writing? Well, as long as I have another relationship that's between an Akatsuki and a normal person would show how different the 'destined' lovers are. And now, why did I pick yuri?

Well, it all has to do with believability. I can't write straight believably. I just can't. The girl is either a bitch or a skank, and the guy is completely ass-ish. That aside, the only Konan hetero couples that are supported (that I am aware of) are KonanxPein, KonanxMadara, and KonanxAnyOtherAkatsukiGuy. That won't do, now will it? But the yuri Konan couples are supported, albeit by horny men, and thus makes it believable. I know a lot of you don't like yuri, hence I haven't fucking written it.

Tobi and Zetsu? You have got to be kidding me. That's as bad as Kisame and Deidara. I mean, they talked in the anime! Therefore they're partners! No. Tobi is Deidara's partner. Duh. And if you've got your panties in a knot over Pein and Konan, just read the first scene and then quit.

-WP

"What are you doing here?" Konan demanded. Pein licked his lips.

"Madara sent me to check in," he said. "He's taking the day off. Says he has a cold." Konan sighed. Zetsu had said the same thing.

"So what do you want? We're going through a hard time," Konan said.

"Can we chat? How about in your office?" Pein suggested. 'All the better,' Konan thought, 'I have Mace in there.'

"Gladly," Konan said, leading the way to her dark cave. Pein shivered, something close to pleasure and fear. The two were awfully close a disturbing amount of the time. He took a seat across the desk from the blue-haired woman. "Anything you'd like to discuss?"

"Sasori's position."

"Ah." Konan gulped, looking down. She had made her decision. "I believe I know what to do. Zetsu will be given the science articles, I'm sure he's capable of it with his brains and such."

"Is Zetsu here?"

"No, actually, he's sick."

"I see. And art?"

"Art is going to be Deidara's new article. He'll be able to connect with a younger, more abstract crowd instead of the classical art fanatics Sasori-" Konan paused, realizing how strange it was to say 'did'. She had been careful not to mention Sasori, afraid it would just put everyone in a bad mood. Pein realized this, and didn't wait for her to finish her sentence.

"And will Deidara be any good?"

"Oh yes. I'm sure readers will enjoy his thoughts on art very much."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive." Pein sighed.

"I'm sorry, it just seems unlikely that a child without a college education would be able to do the same job college educated people are able to do." Konan pursed her lips.

"You would have them fired?"

"No, not really," Pein sighed. "Madara defends him, and that psychotic man. He just seems to think it's your job to decide if they can do their jobs, and it's up to you to make sure they can. Can they?"

"I would trust them with my life," Konan replied resolutely. "And while we're at it I'm not firing Kakuzu, and Itachi is the best editor here."

"I didn't question them."

"You're going to." Pein smiled lightly, looking her over.

"Now that we've got this business over with, mind answering a personal question?"

"Depends no how personal."

"Where do I know you from?" The question caught Konan off guard. She had been expecting to be asked out to coffee, or for her number. "You know what I'm talking about. We know each other from somewhere." Pein's eyes were sure. Konan was wracking her brain, trying to recall his face. She had felt it to, that familiarity, déjà vu, that nagged at the mind.

"I can't recall," Konan said slowly. "Have you ever been to India?"

"No."

"Hmm… I can't think of anything."

"Where did you go to college?"

"California."

"Hm. I was in New York. Wait, how old are you?"

"I'll be thirty-two on February 20th."

"That's the same day as an old friend of mine…"

"Oh really? Yahiko Wittenberg?" Pein paused, looking Konan in the eye.

"Yes, actually."

"He was an old friend of mine… but you should know he-"

"Yes, I know. I couldn't make it to the funeral."

"He must have mentioned you," Konan said. "I remember something he said…"

"Likewise, he must have told me about you a great deal."

"What makes you say that?"

"I don't know a man in his right mind that wouldn't want to talk about you." Konan stared. She hadn't expected the suave blandishments to come in this form. "Madara talks about you," Pein continued. "He respects you. I know he doesn't show it, but he never shows anybody any respect."

"I- I see…"

"And I can tell all the men here have a high opinion of you."

"I suppose they do, I never bother to think about that," Konan said, growing slightly flustered. Pein sighed lightly.

"I just don't remember Yahiko mentioning you," he said. "He must have, but I must not have been paying attention. I wish I had been." Pein looked her dead in the eye. "He must have said so much I tuned him out." Konan nodded.

"I see. I believe he mentioned you before."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, you really looked up to him." Pein blushed slightly.

"That was years ago," he said. "But he was so good to me." Konan nodded.

"Likewise." They sat in silence for a long moment, before Pein looked up intently.

"Call me Nagato."

"Hmm?"

"You heard me."

"Nagato?" Pein sighed slightly, knowing he had done the right thing.

"Yes, that's my real name. Only Madara knows, but he's kind enough to call me Pein."

"And you chose the name Pein?"

"Yes."

"What a strange choice. If you were really going to choose a name, why Pein? And it's spelled strangely."

"You're one to talk, Konan the Barbarian." Konan glared. This man knew how to get on her nerves.

"I didn't choose it," she replied. "If I had my pick, I'd be named Elizabeth."

"Elizabeth?"

"Yes, after Elizabeth Cady Stanton." Pein chuckled.

"I could have guessed." They stayed silent for a long moment. "How did you come up with the idea for Akatsuki?"

"It's a long story…"

"I've got time." The end of their meeting saw them seated on the floor, backs pressed together. That day Konan told him things she had never told anyone, not even Kisame. And Pein- Nagato- told her things he had never told anyone. From that day on, they made a habit of meeting whenever they could, in the dark of Konan's office, just to talk, and feel like, for the first time, there were no walls or pretences, no boundaries, no secrets, just two exposed hearts, brushing in the wash of emotion and uncertainty.

It wasn't long before Tobi and Deidara lived together. But it took Madara and Zetsu to set things into motion. It all started on a Saturday morning at Madara's apartment. The early sun shone through the window, falling upon the couple. Zetsu mumbled in his sleep, turning slightly and curling up closer to Madara. Madara was already awake and sitting up, Zetsu's head in his lap. Eventually Zetsu's golden eyes opened, and he looked up at Madara. He sighed, rolling over and away from him, looking up at the ceiling for a moment before sitting up and slipping out of bed. "I'm going to take a shower," he muttered.

"Meet me in the kitchen when you're done, there's something I want to talk to you about," Madara said, getting up and slipping into his boxers and jeans as Zetsu left to the bathroom. He sighed, running a hand through his scruffy black hair, concentrating on exactly how he'd say it. He was an efficient man, and cared to get things done. So two big confessions was much his style. But as for Zetsu, he knew what he could handle and what he couldn't, and Madara had to think of him in a situation like this. How would he react? It was best not to think about that, and go ahead with what he had planned. Resolutely, he walked over to the bedside table and reached in, pulling out a tiny object, about the size of a pill box.

Zetsu met Madara in the kitchen, a towel around his shoulders for his still drying hair. He said nothing, seeing Madara's bare back turned to him. Suddenly the Uchiha turned around, smiling shakily at Zetsu. "Hey," he said casually. Zetsu remained silent. "Um, there's something I have to tell you." Zetsu nodded slowly. "It… it has to do with my health. You know Itachi is my cousin, correct?"

"Yes…" Madara sighed, gulped, and looked Zetsu straight in the eye.

"I'm going blind. I'll have officially lost my sight within the month." Zetsu's eyes widened minimally, and his posture sagged ever so slightly.

"Really?"

"Yes. I want to do a lot of things before it all goes. I'll still be functional, but there are so many sights I want to see."

"Like the Grand Canyon?" Zetsu asked. "Or the Taj Mahal?" Madara smirked.

"Not quite. Here, hold out your hand." Zetsu reluctantly did so, and Madara grasped it, feeling the worn skin under the pad of his thumb. Swiftly he got down on one knee, looking up into Zetsu's eyes. "Will you marry me?" he asked. Zetsu's eyes widened now, completely, and his jaw dropped. He didn't do a thing for a long moment except blink and stare, before tears leaked out his eyes. Madara stood up and drew him close. "Is this a no?" he asked cheekily.

"It's a yes, you bastard," Zetsu cried, wrapping his arms around Madara's neck and kissing him soundly.

It's all well and good that Madara got over his fears and was able to accept him and Zetsu, and that Zetsu was finally loved, but this left Tobi rather stranded. Luckily, Deidara had a solution.

Hidan didn't often do the shopping. Kakuzu never trusted him not to pick up complete crap, but today Kakuzu had a migraine and they had run out of peanut butter, so Hidan had been banished to do the shopping. He was comparing toilet paper when she turned up. "Hidan?" Looking up, Hidan found himself staring at his ex-girlfriend. He grinned.

"Hey, Ino, long time no see," he said. "And who's this?" The man standing next to her looked familiar, but Hidan couldn't put his finger on it.

"This is my boyfriend, Shikamaru," Ino said. Hidan blinked.

"Oh! Shikamaru!" He glared. "Bastard." Shikamaru shrugged.

"Anyway, Hidan, I'm glad I ran into you," Ino said. "I never got a chance to really apologise for running out. I was rude and inappropriate, and I'm sorry."

"Hey, no prob. I was an ass myself." Hidan chuckled. Ino gave him a dazzling smile.

"I'm so happy. Am I forgiven?"

"Sure, I never could hold a proper grudge." Hidan glanced at her shopping cart, and saw the latest issue of Akarsuki. "Oh, so you're still reading it?" Ino blushed.

"Yes, actually. I find Deidara's articles very intriguing." Hidan looked her over. Black nail polish. Of course. Deidara had been writing his opinions on nail polish recently, and recommended black because it went with everything.

"I see you've taken his advice," he said. Ino laughed.

"Yeah. Do you have time this weekend? I wouldn't mind getting together for a little chat."

"Sure, give me a call."

"Good, here's my number." Ino got out a slip of paper and jotted down her number.

"Look, I'm really sorry about what happened between us. I really should have never run out like that, it was inappropriate and wrong of me."

"Really, it's all right. It's kind of weird, but everything worked out. You've got that Shikamaru bloke, so it's all for the best, right?"

"I suppose…" Ino looked down at her coffee. "So who is he?"

"A co-worker. Kind of awkward, you met him once, remember? The tall one with black hair."

"The Mexican?" Hidan glared at her. "Sorry, that sort of slipped out. So you two got together?"

"Yeah, for a while now." Ino swirled her coffee.

"I see. Hidan, please, I have to get this off my chest." Ino looked up, making eye contact with the silver-haired man. "I love you, Hidan, and I am so sorry I ran out on you. That was the worst mistake of my life. I know you're with someone, I know you don't love me, but please, just…" Ino's eyes were pleading, and Hidan looked sympathetically down at her. It reminded him of the way he had pleaded with Kakuzu. Carefully, he leaned forward and kissed her forehead.

"Darling, I think you're a wonderful, attractive, smart, charismatic young woman. Don't waste your time chasing after gay men."

"So you're gay?" Ino asked.

"I don't know. If there was a sexuality specifically for those who were attracted to Kakuzu, that would be me." Ino looked back down at her coffee.

"I'm sorry."

"And you have a boyfriend, Ino."

"He's a temporary, only something to bide my time. I could drop him in a heartbeat." Ino waved a hand.

"Well good. I caught him making a move on my boss' wife." Ino wrinkled her nose.

"He hit on a lesbian?" she asked, a little revolted.

"Yeah."

"Oh that's it, he so goes." Ino looked up, giving a radiant smile. "Got any single friends?"

"No straight ones."

"Well damn. I suppose I could always go for his best friend."

"You're a bitch, you know?" Ino stuck out her tongue.

"If I can't have someone I want, I might as well just get a replacement, right?" Hidan's heart nearly stopped. He almost wanted to tell her she couldn't stave off a craving by not indulging it, but then he saw she was just being brave after that little confession. He should let her be.

"I saw Ino today," Hidan said. Kakuzu was making dinner in the kitchen, and turned around to look questioningly at him.

"Oh?"

"Yeah. You won't believe who she's dating, though."

"Who?"

"Shikamaru. And yes, she was dating him when he made a move on Temari."

"That's a bit disturbing."

"But she's going to dump him pretty soon. She also…" Hidan coughed. "She also confessed her love for me and apologized for running out on me." Kakuzu was silent for a long moment.

"And what did you do?"

"Well, she already knew I was taken, so I told her to go back to her boyfriend."

"I see."

"What did you expect me to do? Run away with her?"

"I don't know."

"What do you take me for?" Hidan cried, leaping up from the table. "Kakuzu?"

"I'm not… trying to insult you… but…" Hidan saw where this was going.

"Kakuzu, are you serious?" he cried. "I'm not so shallow to ditch you once you're a… little sicker."

"We both know that's a lie." Hidan bit his lip. Until now, Kakuzu had allowed him to continue his little delusion. "I wouldn't hate you if you left."

"Yes you would, and you know it," Hidan shot. "Do you really think I'm-"

"I'm not insulting you." And he wasn't, he was giving permission. "Things aren't going to be pretty. If… if you need to… I would understand." Hidan sighed. It seemed so typical of Kakuzu.

"Kuzu, I haven't left yet and I'm not going to. Where did you get that idea?" Kakuzu gulped.

"You're a wonderful person, Hidan. I don't want to compromise you. You deserve the best and most long-lasting things this world has to offer. I can't offer you that."

"Kakuzu! Please, I know you don't understand, but if you want to effectively kill me, tell me to leave. If you want to keep me going, just let me stay with you. I… I know you're likely to die soon. I know. But… I can't leave. I just can't." Hidan looked up at Kakuzu pleadingly. "And you can't go through this alone. You need someone, no matter if you won't admit it. So stop being an ass." Kakuzu licked his lips, slowly.

"They doubled my medication."

"What does that mean?"

"It means… it's not working too well."