Disclaimer: Wah, wah, wah, VK=not mine, blah, blah, blah.

Illness

Zero eased the bedroom door open and slipped silently inside, letting his eyes adjust from the padding darkness of the hallway to the silvery light of the full moon streaming through their window. Not wishing to disturb his fiancée, he decided not to bother with pajamas, instead simply discarding his clothing and slipping into bed next to her. The sheets were cool and soothing against his bare skin. His eyes followed the silvery light to the window and came to rest upon the glowing white moon rising over the trees beyond their window. Invited or not, the Chairman's story drifted through his head as he stared at the greys of its mountains and craters, and Zero wondered if, over all those years, he should have at some point realized his guardian was carrying something of this magnitude on his shoulders. Sure, the Chairman was good at hiding his pain, but should Zero have noticed something was off? One would think his own experiences would make him sensitive to the pain of others. He was certainly attuned to Yuuki's pain, but, as lovers, they were hyperaware of each other's feelings. The Chairman was just…the Chairman. Not really so much as a father to Zero, just a guardian. Someone who was there. Should he have noticed anything before? Why did it even matter? Since his family was dead, the only person on the planet he cared about was Yuuki. So why did he suddenly feel some sort of tenderness for the Chairman, in this dreadful, tragic situation?

"If I go crazy," a small voice began, jolting Zero from his thoughts, "please, whatever you do, don't let me bite you." A small, cool hand came to rest on his shoulder, and he turned over and grasped it between his, staring at what he knew had to be Yuuki's face.

"You really think there's a chance of that?" he asked, trying to tame the terror roaring behind his heart.

"I—I don't know, I mean, I just get so thirsty, and sometimes my vision blurs, and all I can see, all I can think about…blood…"

Zero squeezed his eyes shut as memories of insanity flooded back. A beautiful young girl standing above him, her warm life pulsing through her veins just inches from his skin...the thirst grabbing at him, ripping at him, tearing into his skull, stealing his breath, darkening his vision. That dreadful need…the fictitious promise of life and salvation…Yuuki's tender neck beneath his lips, tempting him, driving him to the point of no return…

"I don't want to hurt you," she whimpered. "I don't want to hurt anyone. If I try to, please promise to stop me, okay?"

Zero gazed into her eyes sadly, unable to ever imagine his innocent, precious girl becoming one of those monsters. He lifted a gentle hand and let it rest lightly on her hot cheek.

"I'll do my best."

He pulled her close and she nuzzled her head in the curve of his neck and softly cried herself to sleep.

Unwilling to reposition himself even after his position grew uncomfortable, Zero fell into a pained, distracted slumber, one possessed by demonic images and fear for his struggling wife-to-be. The alertness typical of a tense person let Zero only half-sleep, plaguing him with odd dreams and hallucinations that took place right in that setting. Time seemed to move below glacial speed, and every thirty-odd minutes he'd wake for a second and reach his hand out to make sure she was still there.

It was impossible to gauge how long he'd been tossing and turning when the ripping sense of something terribly wrong yanked him from his slumber. A tortured moan filled the room. "Oh, my G—Zero—"

"Yuuki? What is it?" He bolted upright and turned on the light just in time to see her body convulse in a repulsive, inhuman shudder as bloody vomit gushed from her mouth over the side of the bed.

--

"It's okay, love," Chairman Cross stroked Yuuki's hair out of her face as though she were again seven years old as she hugged the giant porcelain bowl in despair. "It's okay."

Her grip on her lover's hand tightened once again as a dreadful gurgling sound erupted from her throat and a small trickle of water dribbled from her lips. It had been two hours, and she'd thrown up her dinner, the blood tablets, everything, and her stomach still burned angrily and tried to force up more. Zero laced their fingers and reached over to touch her cheek as she burst into tears.

"He's going to die!" she wept. "Oh, God, my baby is going to die!"

"Shh…of course he's not, Yuuki, come on now…" The Chairman steadied her and rubbed her back. "Your baby is fine, I promise."

"I'm going to lose him…oh, God, I'm going to lose him! I'm going to lose him just like…just like…"

"Stop it, Yuuki!" Zero leaned forward and tipped her towards him so she fell into his arms. He gripped her shoulder in one hand and with the other lifted her small face so her giant, sad eyes were staring directly into his. "Don't you ever talk like that. You hear me? Ever."

"But…but…"

"No," he insisted sternly, giving her shoulders a firm squeeze. "We'll get through this. I will be damned if I let anything happen to either of you. Promise me you'll NEVER say anything like that again."

Yuuki trembled, paralyzed with shock. A few shaky syllables escaped her gaping mouth, but nothing coherent was formed.

"Kiryuu-kun, you're being too rough on her!"

He ignored the Chairman. "Promise me!"

"I…I promise…" she managed in a squeaky voice.

He expelled a sigh of relief and pulled her body flush against his.

"I will never let that happen," he whispered into her ear. "And neither will you."

"I…I…I want to go back to bed," she moaned.

"Okay," he answered, hitching his arms under her knees and shoulders. She closed her exhausted eyes and let her head loll against his arm as he stood and carried her back to their bed.

The angry-looking green digits on the digital clock read 4:43. Yuuki had been vomiting at half-hour intervals since two AM—the thought exhausted Zero. He lay his fiancée on the bed tenderly, put a hand to her reddened forehead, and turned to leave, but she caught his hand. Hers was simultaneously sweaty and chilled.

"Please stay," she croaked.

"I'm going to get you a wet cloth," he argued. "You're a little feverish."

"Let the Chairman do it. I want you to stay with me."

He kneeled by the bed so they were face-to-face. "Please let me take care of you, Yuuki," he muttered as he folded his hands on the edge of the mattress. Despite her weakness, she reached up and stroked a lock of that silky silver hair from his eyes.

"You are taking care of me. Just by being here."

"I'll come right back. I promise." He kissed her forehead, stood again, and walked out, leaving the lamp on to further his point.

Yuuki closed her eyes and wiped a few lingering tears from her lashes. She'd never been so terrified in her life. She wanted to think this was just a flu-type thing, but an annoying little part of her knew better. It knew she was ill because she had grown too weak. Because wasn't getting enough blood.

The cold, wet cloth felt good on her hot skin and sucked away some of the nausea that was threatening already to return. When one's been puking her guts out all night, it isn't difficult to stay still enough to fall asleep in a desperate attempt to hold off that nausea. As soon as Zero got into bed and draped an arm across the strip of ribcage below her breasts, she fell immediately into a deep, still slumber.

Zero, on the other hand, lay awake for a long time, eyes trained on the glow-in-the-dark stars the Chairman had put up seven years back in a desperate attempt to make him feel at home. He hadn't meant to be so mean back there in the bathroom. But the very thought, after all these months, of losing that baby, and possibly Yuuki too…there wasn't a way in hell he could possibly tolerate that. And her voicing it made it so obvious, so real. He didn't want to deal with it, didn't want her to even consider it. The idea that if they thought about it too much, it would become reality stuck in his head like rough, gooey tree sap.

The door squeaked a bit as the Chairman opened it an inch. Zero sat up and stared, got out of bed when his guardian motioned for him to come out.

"What is it?" he grumped.

"She's starving," the Chairman replied. "She hasn't gotten enough blood, and her body's retaliating. We have to do something, or I'm afraid she's right…both their lives will be in danger." He looked away and Zero caught a hint of tears playing on the edge of his eyelids. "My darling little girl…" he muttered, wringing his hands nervously. The whole episode had worn him down so much—the stress, and giving so much blood to Yuuki—Zero couldn't remember the last time he'd had one of his infamous moments of hyperactivity. (1) "I don't know why her thirst keeps getting worse. I must admit, it's a bit alarming—it's supposed to even out after the fifth month. You and I should be enough for her."

"Enough if she kills us," Zero retorted.

"Don't let your blood pressure rise, Zero-kun. I know you're worried, but…"

"But what?"

"I called Kuran. He's on his way over right now."

"What?"

"He and Yuuki have the same magical blood running through their veins. It has powers greater than that of any other creature in existence. If anything can calm this sickness, it can. It might even make her cravings decrease, at least for a little while."

Zero bit his lip, clenched and unclenched his hands. Forcing back tears, he turned wrathfully from the Chairman and tramped down the stairs.

"Zero-kun, please, just hear me out!" followed him down the hall, but he didn't listen. Over the lower landing, across the living room, straight through the kitchen and out the back door.

The cool night air padded his hot skin as he stormed into the backyard. Spikes of red fire blurring his vision, he knocked over that stupid lawn gnome Yuuki had made fun of in an attempt to cheer him up when he was fourteen. This was beyond shaming. He couldn't help her. His blood wasn't good enough. She needed Kuran's blood to keep her—and the baby, the baby she was having with him—healthy. It made his stomach sick.

After two long years, her soft voice saying those four words still sang clearly in his brain. The four words that told him that his love wasn't lost, that she was still Cross Yuuki despite the fangs and the pure blood and the terrifying scythe gripped tightly in her small white hands. The four words that had made him throw the Bloody Rose down and forever forsake his blood-born mission so he could protect her, even if it was impossible to be with her.

"I love you, Zero."

Thunder broke in the distance. A bat squeaked somewhere in the trees. Zero kicked the gazebo with as much strength as was in him, collapsed on the steps, and wept.

--

You know when you're on-edge for some reason, and so your sleep is really only half-real and you have dreams directly pertinent to what's going on around you? That's what's happening here, and it happened to me this morning.

I know Kurosu Yuuki sounds better, but I think it's best to keep her last name consistent with Kaien's.

1. Right here is the main reason Chairman Cross is one of my favorite characters. He is JUST LIKE ME. I have those crazy moments just as he does—I have them A LOT when I'm in my best moods—but when things get serious, I sober up and work hard to make things right, just as he does. Yay.

I need some help here. My friend says she thinks Zero is too soft. So yeah, we all know he starts to butter up towards the end of the twenties. Examples: when he almost kisses her; when he finds her distraught in the hall and asks her gently if she was able to ask Kaname about her past; when she sees blood in her bathwater and he jumps to make sure she's all right and she begs him to stay with her; when he finds her in her room, gets all concerned, and she breaks down and he strokes her hair and holds her. I, personally, almost thought he became a different person, and I liked the new side of him. It seemed like a side Yuuki had been able to coax out for the first time since the death of his family, and I really thought that was beyond precious. It's one of the things I think is most beautiful about VK (along with the messages about trust, love, and friendship). And that's the side I am writing about here.

This is my friend and me interpreting the story differently, I guess.

Everyone knows I have been worried about keeping him in-character since the beginning. He is still very rough with everyone but Yuuki, and he's still rough with her at times, too. It feels good to write those scenes (same with Yuuki, like when she had that fight with Kaname), really, because it shows more depth-of-character. It's hard to write about a character like him, because they are so complicated. It's one of the reasons I'm having so much trouble finishing my follow-up to Saving Amy—one of the characters has a personality I have never been able to really understand.

So what I'm trying to get at is…I need a third opinion. Anyone?

…damare, Maggie.