Exile
"Only four weeks left, right?" the Chairman said over breakfast the next Saturday. "We should start to figure out how we're gonna do the birth."
"Were you ever able to find any vampire doctors?" Yuuki asked. "Anyone who could help me?"
"No," he sighed. "There's simply too much fear. Anyone who gets caught practicing today faces execution. If there are any, they probably only help loved ones at this point. No one in their right mind would let word of their practice leak to the public."
Yuuki sighed sadly. "I guess we'll just have to hope for the best."
"I think we'd better get Kaname out here when it starts, just in case," the Chairman said, cringing away slightly from Zero's death glare. "He's coming over later today, to visit."
"What?" Yuuki interjected.
"He's coming to give you more blood, Yuuki. Don't you remember? Once a week until you give birth."
"Right." Her eyes flitted to Zero, who stared at his plate with a solemn, stoic expression that reminded her of the night she'd met him. "Um…what time?"
"Four-ish?"
"All right," she sighed.
"Do you not want to see him?" the Chairman asked confusedly.
"It's not really that…"
"Then what?"
"Pass the butter," Zero threw out suddenly, in an attempt to break the growing interrogation. "How long did it take you to make this, Yuuki?" He gestured to the full Japanese breakfast spread over the table.
She threw him a fleeting expression of gratitude. "About half an hour. Really, not that long. So, Chairman, did you add any new classes this fall?"
That got him rambling about the new ethnic studies class and vampire history course for the Night Class, and Yuuki breathed a heavy sigh, relieved to have avoided the awkward conversation and protected her and Zero's privacy.
--
"I'm not staying long," Kaname told Yuuki when he arrived at four on the button (just as the Chairman had predicted). "Have you been ill at all since last weekend?"
Yuuki shook her head silently as the door to her room squealed on its hinges. "I don't think you need to hang around all night so I can take from you again later." I don't want you hanging around all night.
Closing the door, she turned on her heel and glared defiantly at Kaname.
"I'm here to give you blood, Yuuki," he said defensively.
"Yeah. And that's all you're here for. Okay?"
"You're still mad about what happened last time."
"I can't forgive how you treated Zero," she said stubbornly. "Last time or ever. I know how you've threatened him, I saw you attack him…I can't take seeing the man I love treated that way, Kaname. You are my brother, and I care about you, but if you always just see him as a pawn—a dispensable one at that—and never as the person who makes your sister happy…Kaname, I've begun to realize…I don't even know you anymore."
"He's been violent toward me too, Yuuki."
"Right. I've been there when he's threatened you, but as far as I've seen, he's never harmed you unless you harmed him first. It's called self-defense, Kaname, and defense of the people you care about. I don't care what happened when we were thirteen—he was distraught and you were the cousin of the woman who killed his family and destroyed his humanity. Things calmed down for a few years, but about three months before I became a vampire, it got worse again, and as far as I can tell, it was you who started most of the fights. Can you deny that?"
Kaname's eyes blazed bright red. "Christ! You are so blinded by your affections for that boy, you don't even want to think about the times he might have done wrong against me! What about last time, huh? He pointed the gun at me. What about that, Yuuki?"
Yuuki stared back in defiant silence, giving Kaname a chance to release his tension in a heavy sigh.
"I have worked really hard to accept the fact that you don't love me anymore," he said. "I have begun to realize that…that he…makes you happy, and I am trying to respect that. But for God's sake, Yuuki!"
"What?"
"Look at yourself! You've just turned eighteen, you haven't even gone to college, and you're…you're…having his baby! You're so blind sighted by this stupid love affair that you can't even accept the plain truth, sitting right there staring you in the face. In your abdomen, Yuuki! That child is going to ruin your life!"
Shocked and angered beyond recognition, Yuuki turned and unlatched her door.
"Where are you going?"
Pain pierced through her irises when she turned to respond. "My little baby would never, ever ruin my life. Ever. This is insane, Kaname!"
Kaname didn't speak, but Yuuki saw his hands clench. Nevertheless, she continued. "Stop torturing yourself already! There are other fish in the sea—stop acting like I'm the only person you could ever possibly love!"
Kaname sank to the bed, lacing his hands between his knees. Yuuki's face softened, though only slightly.
"Someday, probably right when you've given up, you're going to meet someone. And out of nowhere she's going to take your heart and run. She'll completely replace me—you probably won't even remember I exist. Our love wasn't real enough, Kaname—I think it was mostly there because it was supposed to be, not because it was what should have been."
"My love for you is real," he argued.
"And so is my love for Zero, Kaname. I'm sorry; the last thing on Earth I want is to hurt you. But I love him more than anything else in the world. I have never been so happy as I have since he's been home here with me, even if I did end up with an unwanted pregnancy. I know this is hard for you to accept, but if you really love me, my happiness should be enough for you!" Yuuki knew this wasn't fair to say. There was no way he could listen to logic. Love wasn't logical, and reasoning could hardly affect emotions. She fell silent and stared into his eyes, waiting for an answer.
Sighing again, Kaname stood approached her slowly.
"Don't you ever just want to get away from it all?" he asked softly. "To float away from all your problems and fears, to just let go of yourself and let your heart take over for once?"
"I did, Kaname. It's what got me into this mess."
"That's not what I meant," Kaname muttered. And he leaned over and kissed her.
It felt familiar, but wasn't like kissing Zero at all. Where Zero's kisses were soft, passionate, and erotic, Kaname's were hard, forceful, and deterring. The wetness on Zero's lips made Yuuki's insides melt; that on Kaname's made her want to shrivel. So why the hell were her lips mimicking his, as though in a sick game of follow-the-leader?
It was Kaname's tongue, and the realization of what was happening, that made Yuuki push free.
"God!" she gasped, dragging her hand across her mouth in disgust. "What the hell was that?"
"You didn't like it," Kaname said, more as a statement than a question.
She stepped back. "No! I promised myself to Zero—he fathered my child! Only Zero. Only Zero! What on earth possessed me to…?" She stopped, mouth slowly falling open, and jerked her head up in incredulous anger. "You didn't—!"
"No, Yuuki, I didn't do anything. You did it yourself."
"Like hell! I-I can't believe you'd just seduce me like that! Using those powers that you're supposed to use to…to…lure in prey!" Yuuki's cheeks burned with the passion of her irrational sentiment. Kaname backed away slowly, his eyes cool and fixed on her even as she exploded in rage.
"I didn't do anything of the sort. Why would I use hypnosis to control my own sister?"
Yuuki screamed now. "I'm not your sister! Kaname is dead, do you hear me, and I have no idea who's in there, possessing his body now…but whatever the case, I am not your sister!"
Kaname gasped like he'd been socked in the stomach; as Yuuki stared into his horror-stricken face, she realized she'd never before let on to her knowledge of his condition. Oops. But…so what? It wasn't like she could stay innocent forever. Was that what Kaname had been hoping for?
"H-how long have you known?" he squeaked.
"It doesn't matter! You never were my brother, and you never will be! I was born to marry him, not you. So just…just…"
"Just?"
The unbreakable calm on his face sent her spiraling into insanity. Why, that insolent—that pretentious, self-serving—
"Just get out of my house! Get out!"
"No."
"What do you mean, 'no'?"
"I'm not leaving until you take my blood, Yuuki."
Throwing her hands in the air, Yuuki wrenched the door open the rest of the way and stormed out.
--
"Is everything all right, Yuuki?" the Chairman asked when his fuming daughter appeared at the bottom of the stairs.
"Where's Zero?" she spat.
"He's not in his room?"
"Nope."
The Chairman glanced around and called out. "Zero? Zero!" Befuddled, he looked back to Yuuki. "Maybe he stepped out?"
Yuuki sighed angrily as she felt Kaname approach from behind. "I'm not leaving until you drink my blood, Yuuki," Kaname asserted.
She whipped around. "I don't want your blood."
"You will take it whether or not you want to. No matter what happens, I promised Okaasan I'd protect you. It's my job to see to your safety. If you won't drink my blood willingly, I can force you to."
"Excuse me?" the Chariman said. "What's going on?"
"There you go again, with your domination thing. What makes you think it's okay to force women to go along with whatever you want?"
"I can force you because I'm obligated to do everything in my power to protect you."
"Yuuki, Kaname, please! What on earth is happening here?"
"Just a little disagreement, is all. Don't worry about it." Kaname looked back to Yuuki. "Come on, Yuuki. I don't want to fight with you. Let's just get this over with and move on, okay?"
Yuuki opened her mouth to protest, but a sudden lightness in her head made her question her thought as she locked eyes with her brother. New, contradictory ideas began pulsing in her brain. Why was she always so hard on him, anyway? All he really wanted was to keep his promise to their mother, after all. Couldn't she make things just a little easier on him?
And his throat. The thick blood pulsing mercilessly under soft white skin stretched tightly over tender muscle. Why was she denying herself such a harmless pleasure? Defiance sagging, she closed the distance between them, and Kaname took her on his arm and steered her toward the stairs.
"Kaname-kun, you're not—" The Chairman's voice echoed from a mile away.
"Shh. It's the only way, Chairman. I will not let my baby sister starve."
Yuuki might have processed his words, but chose instead to toss them away, preferring to drown in the sleepy doldrums threaded with distant anticipation and bloodlust.
--
Yuuki woke to the Chairman's shout. Bright pink splashes of color lit up her walls and she recognized the fabric beneath her as her comforter—she was lying atop her bed. But how on Earth had she gotten there? The last thing she could remember, she was in the living room with the Chairman, she was yelling at Kaname for taking advantage of women or some crazy idea like that, and then…
…what?
She shook the sleep from her head as she stood against the late brightness of the sunset. She hated not knowing what had happened before she'd fallen asleep—it made her feel vulnerable, helpless, like she hadn't been in control. And, especially eight months pregnant, that bothered her.
She opened her door and trundled down the stairs.
"Zero-kun! Please!" The Chairman's voice echoed through the house. "Just tell me why you're leaving!...but what about Yuuki? She's due this month!"
Zero? LEAVING? As terror forced its way up her chest, Yuuki ran through the living room as fast as her oversized body would allow. She hauled herself into the entrance, where the Chairman plead with Zero, who stood with his duffel slung over his shoulder, vampire gun in hand. He locked eyes with her, and her chest exploded in nauseating comprehension.
The kiss.
"Zero—" she protested as Kaname came in behind her.
Zero cut her off with a single bolt of lightning between their eyes. "Call me when my baby is born," he said gruffly, and the house shook with the force of his slamming the front door.
"Zero!" Yuuki cried. She couldn't let him go…everything…the killer, the baby, the kiss with Kaname, the illness…she couldn't take this, it was too much…
As she reached for the door, her stomach heaved suddenly as the room spun at violent angles; a single, ruthless convulsion in her lower abdomen put her out, and she fell like a rag doll into Kaname's arms.
--