Took a little later to get this chapter out. I rewrote it four times before I was finally comfortable with it. NK

Jake sat cross-legged on his bed with a book laying open in front of him. His eyes were narrowed at the small print and his paws were flat on his thighs. There was a sharp knock on the door and he looked up quickly, a smile spreading across his face. "Hey Chance."

Chance leaned against the door frame, taking a moment to study his friend. It was Wednesday. That meant it was the day he visited Jake. The tabby's eyes constricted. "Are you reading the Bible?"

Jake flushed. "If I am?"

"It's just that... well, weren't you the one that called it 'fiction'?"

"And I haven't changed my opinion. But I didn't have anything better to do." Jake marked his place and slid backwards, giving Chance room to sit.

"I heard you weren't feeling well from the she-kat at the desk." Chance squeezed his shoulder as he sat down.
"Yeah..." Jake fidgeted with a hole in his jeans. "How's Claire?"

"She's still getting her financial aid set up. If everything works out, she should be starting classes in January." Chance picked up the heavy leather bound book and slid so that he was facing Jake. "What's wrong? You really sick?"

Jake shrugged. "I'm not sick, Chance. I just... haven't been feeling so great. Apparently that translates into 'life threatening illness.'"

"Well what is it?" Chance pulled a leg up so that one of his feet was on the bed.

"I'm really not feeling very talkative today, Chance." Jake fought to keep the irritation out of his voice.

"Do you wanna get out of here for a little bit?" Chance was learning to adapt to Jake's ever-changing moods. Some days, Jake was thrilled to hear from him and would talk his ear off. Other times, he would tell Alisha, the receptionist, to tell him that he wasn't able to come to the phone. It was when Chance came in to visit, however, that Jake couldn't run and hide. The last visits had been fine. Today was an exception. Jake sounded grumpy and stressed. And he looked tired.

"You want me to just leave you alone today?" Chance tried not to sound hurt.

Jake studied him for a minute. "Yeah. I think I do."

"Alright. I'll... uh... I'll just call you later and check on you." Chance stood up, giving Jake's shoulder one last squeeze before leaving the room.

On his way out, he passed the counselor.

"Hey Chance," Dr. Chartreuse smiled brightly. "You coming or going?"

"Going, apparently." Chance frowned. "Hey, can I ask you something?"

"Sure." The doctor was still smiling. "Would you like to step into my office?"

Chance looked hesitant. "Yeah."

The petite male doctor led Chance down the hall and into a small room with a cluttered desk. "Not exactly a room with a view," he chuckled. "We have sort of a small budget."

Chance sat down in one of the hard plastic chairs.

"What's on your mind, Chance?"

"What's going on with Jake?"

The doctor frowned. "You know that I can't discuss details."

"I know. I know. It's just that... well the last few times I've called, he hasn't wanted to talk and then today... it just seemed like he was doing alright. Alisha said he wasn't feeling well. But he says he's not sick. Can you just give me a clue here so I don't feel like I'm doing something wrong?"

"I can't discuss what Jake discusses with me." Dr. Chartreuse sighed. "But I can tell you that this past week hasn't exactly been the greatest." He used the time at his desk as a reason to straighten some files. "Jake had a minor relapse over the weekend."

"A minor relapse?" Chance narrowed his eyes. "I thought he was on something to keep him from relapsing."

"Disulfiram doesn't stop a kat from having a relapse. It punishes them for it." Dr. Chartreuse looked mildly sympathetic. "It's a drug that pretty much induces a long lasting, very painful hangover when alcohol is ingested."

Chance was reeling from the shock. "I don't understand. He was doing so well."

"A lot of kats don't like it when we say this, but relapse is a part of rehabilitation. Jake holds many secrets. Whatever his reasons for drinking are, I can't tell you. And even if I could, I wouldn't be able to because he can't tell me. He needs to confront whatever it is that's pulling him down so that he can let it go and move on with his life."

Chance felt a small twinge of guilt. It must of shown on his face because the counselor gave him a questioning look.

"I don't suppose you would be able to tell me how to get through to him, would you?"

Chance winced. "He... he blames himself for something that wasn't his fault. It's really not my place to talk about it." He sighed. "If I could get him to just talk to me, I might be able to work something out so that he doesn't have to, you know feel like he's betraying someone's trust and, at the same time, confront the kat he hurt."

Dr. Chartreuse shook his head. "I swear, you two have to be the most cryptic kats I've ever met." He stood up. "Give him a couple of days. Let him have some space, some time to think. Then try to talk to him. Alright?"

"Yeah." Chance frowned, pushing himself out of the chair. "Thanks, Doc."

Claire slipped the small container back into her pocket and wiped her nose when she heard the truck pulling in. It was cold outside, so the bay doors were shut. There wasn't anything to do and the uppers had her in a frenzy.

Chance paused in the doorway. He'd never seen the shop so clean. "Holy... wow... you did all this in an hour?"

Claire shrugged and ran a paw through her messy hair to disguise the shaking. "You know what they say, 'clean house for a clean mind.'"

Chance shook his head. "I brought some lunch." He held up a bag with greasy spots on it.

Claire made a face. "How many times have I told you that I don't eat meat?"

"Chill." Chance pulled out a couple of burgers. "I got you some fries and a salad." He handed her the bag. "Hey, if you're done down here, you could get the rest of the house."

"Bite me," she hissed. "Quit being such a slob."

Jake sat with his ears flat against his head, staring at the blank wall of the room he shared with another kat. Chauncey was rarely in the room. He spent most of his time in the common area with his guitar. A college kit who'd become addicted to the party lifestyle. The she-kats that worked at the clinic adored him. Jake fought the urge to block the door so that the bratty nineteen year old couldn't return. There was a soft knock on the door just before it opened. Jake narrowed his eyes at the smallish doctor.

"I was on my way out," Dr. Chartreuse leaned against the wall. "I wanted to check on you before I left."

Jake sighed. "And I'm still here. You can go now."

"I spoke to Chance earlier today."

"In that case, I'm surprised he didn't come back by to lecture me on my mistakes." Jake grumbled.

"I hardly believe he'd lecture you. And, if it matters, I suggested he give you a little room to breathe before he assaulted you."

"Gee... thanks." Jake crossed his arms.

"You should count yourself lucky to have a friend that cares so much." The doctor reprimanded. "I think that, when he talks to you again, you should really listen to what he says."

Jake didn't reply.

Dr. Chartreuse sighed loudly. "I will see you tomorrow, Jake." And he left.

Chance followed the doctor's suggestion and left Jake alone for the remainder of the week and the weekend. On Monday afternoon, he showed up with a pizza and a six pack of milk only to learn that Jake wasn't there. "Do you know where he went?" He asked Alisha, flashing her his most disarming smile.

She flushed. "When he signed out, he said he was going for a walk. Aside from that, I don't know."

"Thanks." Chance took the peace offering back out to the truck and backed out of the parking lot.

Jake felt the cold wind brush over him as he lay flat on his back on the wreckage from the mill where they'd built the park. It was the original reason for the kat-made river and waterfall, to power the mill a hundred years ago. Now, all that remained of the structure was the crumbling foundation on the banks of the rapidly moving water. He sighed and closed his eyes against the gray afternoon sky and hoped it would start raining. The smell of pizza reached his nose before the heavy sounds of Chance's footsteps.

"You know, you kind of ruin this whole 'peace and quiet' thing." He said softly.

"And you make it really hard to bring you lunch." Chance replied, cautiously climbing up onto the wall beside Jake.

"You could've called an hour ago. I would have told you not to bother."

Chance ignored the defeated tone. "Heard about what happened. Do you want to talk about it?"

"Nope," Jake replied, not moving even as the smell of Norelli's finest assaulted his nose.

"Look, why don't you just talk to Claire about what happened?" Chance finally just blurted out. "I could set it up, send her out to pick up some parts or something and Razor could be there and..."

"Chance..." Jake cut him off. "I'm not even going to waste my time."

"Okay... so let me get this straight. You'll waste five years of your life wallowing in self pity because you can't find the she-kat who you blame yourself for hurting only to find her and not have the guts to actually talk to her?" Chance scoffed. "I thought you were supposed to be the smart one, Jake."

"Yeah, well, you thought wrong."

"Apparently. Because you're acting like an idiot."

"Yep."

Chance looked over the edge of the wall. They weren't that far up. If he pushed Jake into the water, it wasn't likely he'd be hurt. The current would pull him a little but it was too shallow for him to be pulled under.

"What are you afraid of, Jake?" Chance narrowed his eyes. Jake's own snapped open.

"Who said I was afraid?"

"I can't think of any other reason you wouldn't want a chance to tell Claire that you didn't mean to kill her mother."

Jake shot Chance an icy glare. "Tell me something, Chance. How would you feel if someone murdered your mom and then just showed up one day to apologize?"

"You didn't murder anyone, Jake. It was an accident."

"And I'm sure she'll see it that way." Jake replied sarcastically.

"Hey, in case you've forgotten, T-Bone has already talked to her. She knows it was an accident." Chance pointed at himself as he referred to his alter-ego. "You need the closure."

Jake snorted. "And you've been spending too much time at the clinic."

"Maybe," he conceded. "But I'm not gullible. I don't fall for that psycho-babble crap that easy."

Jake squeezed his eyes shut. "I really don't want to talk about this anymore."

"Fine," Chance snapped. "But sooner or later, you're gonna have to do this." He got up. "I'm going back to work. When you grow a pair, call me." He left the remaining food at Jake's feet.

Jake let out an unsteady breath as his friend walked away.

"Shit,"Claire cursed softly.

Chance looked up from Callie's sedan. "What?"
"Nothing," she replied, brushing past him and darting up the stairs, her paw covering her nose and mouth.

Quietly setting down his wrench, he followed her up the stairs.

Claire was too busy trying to stop the sudden nose bleed to notice Chance staring at her.

"I thought we had a deal."

She jumped. "I don't remember promising not to get nose bleeds."

"I'm not stupid, Claire." Chance glared. "I..." The house phone started ringing. He pointed at her. "I'm not finished."

"Hello?"

"Chance?"

It had been two days since his talk with Jake in the park. He sounded sick.

"You okay, buddy?"

"No," Jake whimpered.

Chance shot Claire a look as he walked out of the kitchen to make the conversation more private. "You're not really putting a whole lot of effort into this whole 'rehab' thing." He snipped knowingly.

"I know, I know... I just..." Jake blew out a breath. "Damn it, Chance. It just fucking pisses me off when you're right and you throw it in my face like that."

"I didn't throw anything in your face," Chance sighed.

"Yeah. You did. Not in a menacing way, but you still did." Jake spat. "And I've thought about it."

"And drank over it," Chance added.

"Yeah, that too." Jake replied. "And... I just... ugh." He growled. "I heard what you said. And you're right. I need to do it and I'm scared out of my mind."

"You just give me the when, buddy and I'll set it up for you." Chance tried to keep from sounding too ecstatic.

Jake made a hiccuping sound and groaned. "Well... today's definitely not good."

Chance let himself chuckle. "I don't know. The whole belligerent drunk could work in your favor."

Jake didn't respond.

"Like I said, just call me and let me know when you want to do this, Jake."

"Okay," Jake replied quietly. "Look, I... I gotta go... I'll..."

"Call me later? Yeah. Bye Jake." Chance waited for Jake to acknowledge that the call was over before he hung up and went back out to deal with Claire.

Don't own anything... etc.

NK