TRIXIE
Hey there, I'm Trixie with the fucking introduction. Welcome to Chapter Fucking Six. If it ain't Chapter Six you want then go back to Chapter Fucking Five or the like
SOL
Or forward to Chapter Seven
TRIXIE
There ain't a fucking Chapter Seven yet!
SOL
Yes but there will be eventually.
TRIXIE
You got some special Jew method of predicting the fucking future?
SOL
Do you feel that all the character arcs can be satisfactorily concluded in this next segment?
AL
They can't be concluded in a fucking fan fic! A fourth fucking season would be much appreciated
SETH
Good luck getting the cast together.
AL
Oh I have my methods
DOC
I don't know if I want to think too hard about that one
ALMA
You don't want to think too hard about it because it makes no sense. We are all fictional characters
SOL
Hey speak for yourself! I'm real, I have my own Facebook and Wikipedia page!
JANE
I'm fucking real! I look a little different in other movies and books and so fourth…
JOANIE
Its ok Alma, it ain't just you. I'm not real either
MARTHA
Oh stop it everyone! You know what she means. Technically I'm based on a real woman but I do not resemble her physically and my relationship with my husband is radically different. So though there was a "Martha Bullock" she and I are really different people.
HARRY MANNING
The real me was a little more dignified, also he actually won the election…by buying it. Well it was the same thing in those days
AL
I was actually worse in real life
SETH
If you can believe it
AL
You were also a good faithful husband
SETH
Checkmate
SOL
I don't believe the real Sol had a sexy prostitute girlfriend like me
TRIXIE
You notice how most of us ladies are made up?
DOLLY
Especially us whores
ALMA
Me too, as a matter of fact
SETH
That's too bad for the real Deadwood
TRIXIE
Oh god not this again. So anyways, here's Chapter…
DAN
Chapter Six
TRIXIE
And fuck anyone who doesn't like it!
Chapter 6
Tread Lightly
Martha Bullock traversed the town again, this time with less self-consciousness if not less concern. Before she had felt as though she was sneaking around behind Seth's back but now that she was going to be totally honest with him she felt unburdened. It also made her glad to know for sure, before she had been certain it had been difficult knowing how to feel, also her mind had immediately gone through all the other possible medical explanations, none of them pretty. But she was going to have a child, she knew for certain now. She and Seth would need to get some things ready, she would need to find someone to replace her for a little bit at the schoolhouse. She began to ponder this as a way of avoiding thinking about Seth's reaction or her own feelings. Why had the Doctor been so quick to jump to the conclusion that she didn't want her baby? Was it just that he was used to prostitutes? Or did he believe her to have paid her husband in kind for his adultery? Or was it merely that she had been so resolute about not betraying her conflicting emotions that she had seemed not to care?
She wanted her baby; she wanted it very much. Though thinking about it brought up once joyful now painful recollections of her first pregnancy. Robert had been so happy at the prospect of becoming a father and had been overjoyed when he first met his healthy son. But now they had both been taken from her and in their place she had Seth and her child to come, if it ever did. Seth was not his brother, he lacked Robert's warmth. Also her last husband had had a sense of humor and Seth's idea of a joke was saying that she made weak tea. But she appreciated what Seth had given up for her, he wanted so badly to do the right thing. Though…if she was being honest it had begun to turn into something more. She would always love Robert in a way, but she thought of him less and less as the months went by.
The really pressing question was how would Seth be as a father. It shouldn't be a question really. She had after all married him to provide William with a father. He had been good to the young boy, but would he be able to talk to a little girl? How would he deal with a baby? She'd heard enough about her father in law to be aware that neither of her husbands had had any kind of model to go off of.
She arrived at Star and Bullock Hardware and entered to find only Sol who bobbed his head respectfully in lieu of tipping his hat.
"Good afternoon Mr. Star, have you seen Mr. Bullock about anywhere?"
"Well…um…it's been a rough day for all of us…why don't I go get him for you?" Martha's spirits sank a bit
"You have news of the election then?"
"Yes, for the most part. I mean things might still change but…" He trailed off and after a long pause Martha decided that she could reasonably speak without it being an interruption.
"You were both defeated?"
"Just…eh…just Seth. Apparently… I may have won."
Martha smiled. She was glad to hear this and touched by the way that Sol was trying to cover up his excitement.
"Well congratulations Mr. Star, we really must do something to celebrate."
Sol returned her smile but her next question wiped it off his face
"So where is my husband?"
"He's…he's in The Gem. I'll go and get him" Martha shook her head
"That's very kind of you Mr. Star but I will go myself. I have something rather important to tell him" Before he could argue she turned and left the store, crossing the street to the saloon where she strolled briskly through the swinging doors as if she'd been walking into saloons across the country on a regular basis.
Merrick returned to his office to check on his friend. Blazanov looked worse than before and the prostitute from the Bella Union looked nervous.
"Mr. Blazanov are you alright? Or rather has your condition worsened?" he just shook his head in reply and so Merrick turned to Lila.
"I told him to be careful with that stuff, first you take it for pain but then you start makin' up excuses and pretty soon its all you can think about" She was beginning to look a little panicked "I can't do it anymore…I just can't…it fucking owns me…it…"
"Miss…Lila you said your name was? I'm sorry to interrupt you but I need to ask. Did he take the laudanum?" She nodded but before he could say anything else the telegraph operator vomited onto the floor. Merrick understood and somewhat relieved that his friend had at least taken the painkillers went and found a washcloth and bucket making a brief trip over to the pump to get water. When he came back he found that Blazanov had thrown up again and Lila was stroking his forehead. Merrick begun to mop it up as his friend protested feebly
"Please, Mr. Merrick do not…you do not have to…this is disgusting…"
"Well so is me with my shirt off but you helped me to dress when I was injured. This is just what friends do for each other…or so I'm told. I don't know I never really had any before."
"Your head! It is bleeding…" Blazanov tried to sit up but Lila quickly forced him down
"Oh that, its nothing" responded the newspaperman.
"You really should not…"
"Yes I should! Look I've finished, vomit is really very easy to clean up. As I'm well aware of speaking as a sometime drunk." Merrick wrung out the towel and went off to dump the water in the street. He noticed Mrs. Bullock walking towards the Gem and he inclined his head to her but she didn't see him. He was made uncomfortably aware of the fact that there was a prostitute in his office. 'So what?' said a voice in his head 'who gives a fuck? Why do you care about looking respectable to Martha Bullock, you aren't respectable or else you wouldn't be here. Embrace it, stop trying to be someone else. You beat the shit out of the nastiest man in town today' Merrick gritted his teeth, he'd had enough of talking to himself over the years. So he came back in and took a look at Blazanov and Lila. 'Poor girl' he thought 'where can she go now? She can't go back to the Bella Union that's for sure. Of course I'll let her stay here but what will she do?'
"Are you feeling any better Mr. Blazanov?"
"This is my comeuppance"
"What?"
"This is what I get for not helping you. You came and defended me I failed to defend you"
"Oh for god's sake!" Merrick cried in frustration "Haven't I told you I don't blame you in the slightest? What could you have done? Besides in case you haven't noticed I'm alright. Hell I'm glad he beat me!"
"You're glad?" asked Lila "Oh you're one of those types…you know if you want someone to hit you with a…
"No that's not what I meant. Ever since Al put off the speeches I'd been waiting for things to get bad, terrified that when they did I wouldn't be able to take it, that I'd crack, that I'd embarrass myself. But then I got the shit beaten out of me and I just took it and got on…I'm sorry for my used of language there Miss… But…well…The only time I complained about the pain was when someone asked me how I was doing. Al asked me how I was doing! I'd spent years making up ailments and complaining to doctors just hoping I could make someone care about me, just the tiniest little bit…and now…now I have you, and Al…"
"I was going to run." Said Blazanov in a tone of absolute bitterness and self reproach "I heard what was going on and as soon as I grasped it my first instinct was to run…by the time I had become master of myself again he was gone. I am not a good friend to you. You came today…"
"Mr. Blazanov today I was in an insane mood. If you caught me on another day I probably would just have left it to Bullock…"
"One of Mr. Swearengen's men was threatening me and I gave a very brave speech about how I would not give information even if they were to try and torture me…ha… very brave I turned out to be."
"But you didn't, that's all that really matters." The other man scoffed "My dear friend after what happened to you and your family…you know how bad things can get…I think what often passes for bravery is really naiveté or insanity. If I had known how dangerous this town really was I would never have moved here…but I'm so glad I did. You see Mr. Blazanov…"
"Sasha" he said very softly, so softly Merrick didn't hear it at first
"Excuse me"
"My full name is Aleksandr but my family always called me Sasha…it is diminutive…that is what they called me and you are the closest I have to family now…maybe I overreact a little…"
"Oh, you are most definitely overreacting"
"Maybe I overreact a little because you are all I have, if anything happened to you…" For a moment Merrick couldn't think of anything to say to this. Somehow he never found himself at a loss for words when asked to describe the towns thoroughfares but when it came to emotions like these words didn't seem enough. Anything to simple would probably be a cliché, anything too eloquent would seem disingenuous. In the end all he said was;
"Arthur, my first name is Arthur"
Trixie found Dolly around the back of the Gem in a small nook in between the saloon and the newspaper office. Trixie knew that area well, she'd gone there often for a smoke or on nights when she was sore or just couldn't bear the thought of another dirty drunken miner putting his hands on her. But not Ellsworth, no he was the only one she'd been able to stand come hell or high water. Other men hit, or fucked too rough, or called her a worthless cunt, or blamed her when they were too drunk or too old to get it up. Ellsworth had just put his money down, done his bit and thanked her. He'd tried to cheer her up if she was having a bad night or lend a sympathetic ear if she was pissed off. Other men other men deluded themselves into thinking that what they'd paid for had meant something, other men tried to kiss her on the mouth, other men asked her if she'd liked it when what they wanted to hear was reassurance that their small cocks weren't that small, other men sat there and cried and expected her sympathy.
Sometimes she had sat there and imagined what it would be like if all of a sudden all the men in the world just disappeared. Surely everything would return to shitus quo pretty soon but for a little while she liked to imagine just the whores with no one to beat them or fuck them. Just allowed to do as they pleased. She was thinking about that now. No more Al making choices for her that she had to live with, no more Sol trying to act like nothing had happened, no more George Hearst, no more hypocrite former sheriff, no more incompetent new sheriff, no more telegraph operator too dumb to accept a free blowjob when was standing right in front of him. It would just be her and Dolly and the whores. She could just move in with Alma and Sofia and they could raise her together. The sound of Dolly crying brought her promptly back to earth.
"Dolly, I'd understand if you blamed me…" Dolly in her characteristic taciturn manner cut her short with a hug. The two women stood there for several minutes in silence. Then Trixie was crying too.
"Its all my fault"
"Stop it Trixie"
"I stand in the god damn bank or I lie there at night with my fucking Jew who fucking…who fucking loves me…her loves me so fucking much…and I think about you and the girls back here…"
"And we're happy for you. We're all happy for you"
"I'm a whore Dolly! I'll always be a whore."
"No, you're not. Not any more." Dolly felt completely out of her depth. Ever since she could remember Trixie had been the strong one. The one who'd told them to stop crying and who'd taken the brunt of Al's anger for any of them and covered for them when they couldn't take it any more. After she left Dolly had done her best to step up and fill that void.
"I am still a fucking whore! And I hate it, I hate the thought of others suffering in my fucking place. All the time I think about how you now have to take all the shit I used to have to take. And now…now! Jen had to die for my fuck up!" There was nothing Dolly could say to this and there was nothing Trixie could do to alleviate that guilt. She would carry it with her for the rest of her life. Moments passed until Dolly could think of one thing that might help just a bit.
"Al hasn't beaten me you know. Trixie, there's nothing you can do about us or for us. All you can do is help yourself. You were given a way out and you took it, none of us blame you and if we were in your position we'd do the same. Only I know I for one'd have fewer scruples. You have a right to it." Trixie begun to shake her head so she pressed on "You are a good person and you have a right to be happy Trixie." But she just shook her head even harder and without saying anything pulled away from her friend and walked back into the Gem.
When Martha walked into the Gem Dan's simultaneous reactions were to take off his hat and wonder if he shouldn't go up and tell Al about this. He then reassured himself that this would probably be over soon, she was just here to collect her husband. It shocked him to see these two unrelated parts of the town coming together like this, though it had been odd for the widow to come into the Gem it seemed so incongruous to see the school teacher at the saloon. Seth didn't even turn around, so busy glaring ahead of him he didn't notice her entrance.
"Mr. Bullock" she said calmly "I was wondering if you would come back to our place of residence with me as I have some important news to discuss with you"
"I'll be back later Martha" he replied, still without looking at her.
"I would prefer if you came with me now" Martha knew that it wasn't important whether or not Seth heard right away, she could tell him later, or tomorrow, or the next day, but it was the callousness with which he dismissed her that made her want to argue.
"Well I would prefer to stay here for a while." He finally turned to look at her and what he said next had a hint of a plea under the barely restrained anger "Just give me a little time Martha, please"
But Martha wasn't going to give up that easily, though she was beginning to feel faint, something about the smell of the place combined with the fainting spells she'd been having for the past month or so. She wanted to leave and for her husband to leave with her. "I do not think this is a wise method of addressing your grievances, I feel it would be better for you to come home with me"
"Yes Bullock, go home!" Everyone looked up to see Al who had emerged from his office, looking down at them. Of course this had the opposite of the desired effect. Seth whirled around and shouted up at Al
"Don't you dare tell me what to do!"
"Well someone fucking has to! Um...sorry Mrs. Bullock" Seth clearly couldn't take it any longer
"You fucking dare play the conscience, Swearengen? How dare you fucking pretend you care about whether or not you offended my wife? That you have the fucking nerve to lecture me when you killed some poor innocent girl this morning for…"
"And you did fucking nothing!" Seth stood completely still for a moment, then he reached into his pocket and slammed a few dollars down on the table for the whiskey then strode out, his expression daring anyone to cross his path. Martha waited for a minute, so as not to seem to be going after him, then moved to make a dignified exit. Unfortunately for her the lightheadedness that she had been keeping at bay hit her as soon as she turned to leave and she clutched at the bar to steady herself. She heard a commotion and soon found that the man behind the bar was holding her.
"Y'all right Mrs. Bullock?"
"Yes, thank you very much" she tried to move, to get out of there as quickly as she could, but stumbled and found herself even closer to him. Martha decided to stay put for a second, though tears of humiliation were beginning to well in her eyes. So she kept them shut and just let herself stay leaning against the barman's solid bulk.
"Mrs. Bullock, would you like to sit down?" It was the other man who spoke now, Mr. Swearengen, his voice was as close to tentative as a voice like his could get. She drew a breath in.
"Yes, yes I would." Then she allowed herself to be guided to the chair he'd pulled out for her.
"She just went sorta limp Al…I didn't touch her or nothing." Martha concentrated on breathing in and out. She looked down at the table. The wood was roughly cut and the sides were chipped where men had sharpened their knives and dark stains that could be tobacco or liquor, or maybe blood.
"Yeah I saw what happened dumbshi…Go get the Doc"
"No there's no need." She said as quickly as she could "I shall be fine momentarily, I merely felt faint for a moment" She did not want to have another conversation with the doctor today. She found herself regaining clarity bit by bit.
"I'm sorry to have inconvenienced you gentlemen. I came over faint just now but I shall be better directly."
"Do you need anything to drink?" Offered Al "Water or something stronger'd be better." Martha shook her head vigorously so Al tried again "Do you need to lay down maybe? My bed's just upstairs…" She looked up at him startled then got up to quickly.
"No, sir. Thank you. You have been most kind now if I may…"
"Let me walk you home" Al interrupted looking her straight in the eyes.
'Why is this so fucking hard?' thought Al. It was an art, being proper, being correct. It should be an easy thing, talking to a woman like this. But it wasn't, he had felt it upon entering her house, her world was alien to him. Sometimes he felt as though he'd been he'd grown up in a foreign land with wildly different customs.
Martha looked back at him, or looked through him it felt. But she could see that he was genuine, see that he was trying. So she smiled slightly.
"Thank you Mr. Swearengen. I would be glad if you accompanied me."
TRIXIE
This is beginning to feel like one epic round of hurt/comfort
SETH
Well there's a lot of hurt on this show. By the way I like your invention of the phrase shitus quo. I should start using it
AL
Making up fucking words and the like
DAN
Don't hold a candle to hooplehead
ALMA
Well not all of us can be David Milch
TRIXIE
A girl can try can't she? Anyways thanks for fucking reading and sorry about the delay. Not laziness just a good old fucking case of writers block!