Another Rainy Day in Nerima
Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½ or any related characters in any way, shape or form.
Author's Notes: at long last, we have returned. I honestly never expected that this serial would get as far as it has, and I'm ecstatic that everyone has been enjoying it so.
Aoirann; if you're looking for Ranma/Akane, then you've come to the wrong author. I make it pretty clear I'm not a believer in that couple, and I can't write what I can't believe in. There are thousands of well-written Ranma/Akane fanfics out there; I feel no compulsion whatsoever to add to them. Hell, I made this serial in the first place to give the other girls a ray of light through the blanketing umbrella of Ranma/Akane.
Chapter 16: Twin Troubles
It was a peaceful day at the Tendo Dojo. The sun was shining, the birds were singing, Soun and Genma were watching TV while Kasumi did some ironing. Ranma was practicing his katas in the garden, while Akane was reading a manga and eating some snacks that Kasumi had provided, so used to Ranma's antics that she wasn't paying the slightest attention. Yes, everything was peaceful... and that was when Shampoo suddenly dropped down in front of Ranma, who barely managed to halt himself before he hit her.
"What didya do that for?" Ranma shouted, causing Akane and their fathers to look up, tension beginning to seep into the scene. Whenever the Chinese Amazons got involved, there was usually trouble of some description close behind.
Shampoo paid no attention to them, didn't even seem to acknowledge just what a dangerous thing she'd done by her arrival. Instead, she stared at Ranma, a grim expression on her face. "Ranma, come with Shampoo." She stated flatly.
"Ranma, don't you even think of going on a date with that girl!" Soun thundered dramatically, drawing scornful glances from all three of the teens- there had been nothing about a date in Shampoo's proclamation, though the Japanese teens still had no idea what she was there for.
"Is important that Ranma come with Shampoo. Ranma is needed at Nekohanten." She insisted.
Ranma thought it over for a second, then shrugged. He couldn't see any reason not to come.
As they turned to leave, though, Akane stood up. "I'm coming too." She declared, her body language warning them not to try and stop her.
Now it was Shampoo's turn to shrug. "Akane do what Akane wants." She suddenly grimaced. "Akane always do what Akane wants." She muttered bitterly.
Akane did not look happy, but held her tongue, joining the others as they hurried away to the Nekohanten. Ranma and Akane both paused at the door; even out here they could plainly hear two people talking loudly in Chinese, quite obviously arguing. Shampoo didn't hesitate, however, instead pushing the door open and beckoning them to follow.
The scene inside could easily be described as confrontational. Heck, Ranma thought he could see a line drawn right down the middle of the room and the table the two parties were seated at.
On one side was Cologne. The old woman was in furious form, one that was matched by the person on the other side and Ranma blinked at the sight of a slightly taller but no less ancient old man with long white hair tied back that framed his bald crown and the almost stereotypical long white beard one would expect of an ancient and wizened elder male. Seated to either side was a pair of familiar twins, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung, who were twitching with every syllable the two elders were spitting at each other.
"Uh... what's going on?" Ranma finally asked. Nobody heard him- or, if they did, they chose to ignore him. "Hello?" He tried again. If anything, they got louder in their argument. He gave a confused glance at Akane, who looked just as out of place as he did, before Shampoo suddenly gave an ear-piercing whistle. That got their attention.
"Ah, son-in-law, my apologies- I wasn't aware that you had entered." Cologne said, evidently trying to regain her dignity after being caught squabbling.
"He's not your son-in-law... not any more." Said the old man, much to Ranma's surprise.
"Why, you geriatric goat-groping..." Cologne started.
"What's going on?!" Ranma insisted loudly, as much from actual exasperation as from a desire to avoid whatever mental scarring would come from letting her finish her list of insults.
"It's... hard to explain." Cologne said, rubbing at her head and looking, for the first time Ranma was consciously aware of, lost for words.
The other elder openly sneered at Cologne in response, "What's so difficult to explain? Your great-granddaughter has made no progress, therefore I Elder Sin Ku am here to contest her claim with Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung. See? That was easy!"
To say Ranma and Akane were stunned would be like saying that Kuno was a little arrogant. Akane managed to pull herself together first, unthinkingly turning to her arranged fiancé and asking, "I thought you said that the Kiss of Marriage was first-come, first-serve?" She flushed with embarrassment as she realised what she had said- definitely not the relevant issue here, but it was the first thing that came to mind.
Sin Ku straightened up, "It typically is, if the girl can actually consummate a wedding night with the one whom she kissed." He sent a pointed glance at Shampoo and Cologne, "And of course, I'm inclined to view that as a failure on Xian Pu's part and thus, another elder is free to sponsor a more suitable bride, or brides in this case."
Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung simply bowed their heads, clearly not liking the situation they were in, but remained silent.
"I'll admit that this situation is taking longer to resolve than is normal, but these are more than normal circumstances..."
Sin Ku waved off the explanation. "Such as finding enough sympathy with this boy to teach him in what are supposed to be secret arts? Frankly I'm starting to think you've gone native Cologne. No, the circumstance while strange have no bearing on the fact that Xian Pu has failed and thus Ranma is free game."
Cologne snarled, "You know that I intend to fight this Sin Ku, I am not letting his go so easily."
Sin Ku made a motion to the door. "By all means, after you."
Cologne deflated visibly before sighing and hopping over to Ranma, "Son-in-Law, I want you to listen carefully. While I intend to fight this to keep Shampoo engaged to you, it will also afford you a measure of protection. There are other Amazon girls who know of you and unlike Shampoo, they will not be so restrained in securing your affections at whatever cost. However, that means that Shampoo and myself and likely Mousse as well, will need to leave the Nekohanten and head back to the village to present our case, the twins will have to remain here to pretty much take up where Shampoo has left off in regards to pursuing your affections until word is sent for them to return."
Akane scoffed, "In other words, business as usual."
Cologne chuckled in a somewhat mocking fashion.
"If a pair of young girls barely into their teens can do what Shampoo cannot, then even I will admit that Shampoo has failed. Regardless, as Sink will doubtlessly accompany us back to China in order to make his own voice heard in the proceedings, and as the twins are too young to manage a restaurant on their own, they need a place to stay. I am sorry to impose on you, Ranma, but you are the only one I can ask: will you please allow them to stay with you while they are here?"
Ranma would have thought about the situation, but the almost pleading expression on Cologne's face and the puppy-dog eyes on the twins made him give an almost knee-jerk, "Yeah sure, I'll help you out Cologne." He didn't realize what he had said until the Elder bowed to him in thanks.
With that, Cologne and Shampoo left to pack for the trip back while Sin Ku nodded in satisfaction and left as well, leaving Ranma and Akane with a pair of suitably confused twins.
Ranma turned to the nearest wall and began to gently bang his head against it (gently, in this case, meaning he wasn't cracking the concrete). "Why does this always happen to me?" He moaned. "Everyone's gonna want my head for this! Ryoga, Kuno, Ukyo, Akane-"
"Gee, thanks so much for that sign of trust." Akane mocked sarcastically. Okay, maybe she was a little overeager to assume his guilt on occasions, but she had been right here- did he really think that she would blow up over something she happened to know was just more madness from those whackjob Chinese?
If he'd heard her, Ranma gave no sign. "-And I don't even want to think about how the old men are going to take this."
At that particular complaint, Akane felt a shiver run down her own spine; she might be perfectly reasonable about this, but her father and Genma Saotome most certainly weren't.
"We sorry." Said one of the twin Amazons. "We not mean for this to happen." Continued the other. "We not know that great-grandfather act like this when we tell him truth about Shampoo fiancé."
"Oh, forget about it." Ranma said, finally stopping with the headbutting. "It's not like I haven't been screwed up by crazy old folks and your weird laws before, so this really isn't that big of a deal anyway."
At his choice in words, both Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung looked annoyed; while they did appreciate someone not blaming this on them, they still didn't like hearing their culture disparaged. They said nothing, though, aware that they were already on thin ice.
Shortly after that, Shampoo came back down the steps, a happy looking Mousse at her heels and a solemn Cologne, all bearing their own various belongings. The lavender-haired girl walked up to Ranma, looking almost on the verge of tears, then glomped onto him before he could react.
"Shampoo sorry, Ranma- Ranma be brave and wait for Shampoo, okay? Shampoo come back to you soon!"
Before Ranma could say anything, be it positive or negative, Shampoo decided to emphasize her words by kissing him on the lips, at which Ranma's eyes went wide (this was only the second time he'd ever actually been kissed by a girl, after all) and Akane and Mousse both saw red with rage. Things kind of got out of hand after that...
By the time everything was back to the usual calmness, Ranma and Akane were walking back to the Tendo Dojo, the Saotome boy looking rather battered (as was a frequent occurrence) and the Chinese twins close behind them.
"We're home."
"Ah Ranma, you're back...and you brought those two with you again." Now Soun usually ignored new visitors to the dojo, they were dime a dozen as the American saying went, but Soun was wary for the simple reason that the two had outright threatened him the last time they were here, "And what business do they have being here again?"
Genma said nothing but kept an eye on the twins, anything that got Soun's hackles up deserved to have an eye kept on them. Still, they were young so it was unlikely that they were fiancées.
"This is Ling-Ling, and that's Lung-Lung... or is it the other way around? Anyway, they're supposed to stay here a while... y'see, the reason Shampoo asked me to come around is... cause, well, she's left town." Ranma answered awkwardly.
"She has? Oh, that's wonderful news, son!" Soun Tendo proclaimed happily, beaming with joy. "Now all you have to do is persuade that foolish Kuonji girl that her engagement to you isn't real, and you and Akane can marry at last!"
"Uh... I haven't exactly gotten the Amazons off my case..." Ranma replied hesitantly. Before he could continue, Ling-Ling got annoyed with all the tiptoeing around the subject and just spit it out.
"Big sister Shampoo sent back to village because she take too-too long make Ranma fall in love with her. So, now we must marry Ranma in her place."
There was silence for several seconds before Genma and Soun shouted, "What!" but it wasn't as loud as the annoyed yell from Happosai, " You can't be engaged to those two!" There was another silence, this one shocked before Soun and Genma turned to Happosai.
"Master, does this mean you support the engagement?" Happosai glared at the two men.
"Are you idiots joking, I could care less!" Tears appeared in his eyes, "What I do care about is that beauty Shampoo being replaced by a pair of ugly little brats. Oh, the injustice of it all!"
Everyone present promptly facefaulted at that statement, the sole exceptions being the twins themselves, who screamed with rage at the insult and promptly began chasing Happosai around and around the house, until he finally knocked them out cold with a small Happo-Fire Burst bomb.
By the time the girls came to, Happosai had tried to splash Ranma so as to "mourn" Shampoo's departure, for which Ranma had promptly sent him hurtling skyward. Once they were awake, Soun Tendo was persuaded to allow them to stay at the Tendo Dojo, due to them literally having nowhere else to go or anyone else to turn to. However, Soun had insisted that the twins sleep in the dojo itself, claiming that there was no room in the house proper. As this was the truth, what with the house itself having only two guest rooms already occupied by the Saotomes and Happosai, and as the girls didn't mind, claiming that they had been prepared for such a possibility and brought their own sleeping bags, the two pre-teenagers were soon set up. Dinner that night was strangely tense, yet for once all the tension was from Ranma and Akane's fathers- the teens themselves were quietly eating their meals, just like they always did when they weren't arguing or otherwise upset with each other. The twins themselves tried to be as quiet and demure as possible, evidently to avoid any more problems.
Ranma sighed as he relaxed against a convenient tree at Furinkan High. The girls had slept in that morning, allowing Ranma to avoid the complication of explaining that he had to go to school and the chaos that would have arisen had the twins followed him and hung around. Then there would have been the reactions of the other students, and Ukyo of course.
Ranma's musings were cut short by a stereo cry of "Ranma!" and he jerks his head up just in time to see the twins alight on a branch with twin bentos, and their cry had been loud enough to get everyone's attention.
"Ling-Ling" Almost immediately the pair went into a synchronized pose.
"And Lung-Lung" And then flipped neatly off the branch to land on either side of him.
"Brought you lunch!" And at that moment, Ranma knew he was in trouble as his sharp ears picked up the comments of the more normal students.
"Wha? Two more? And they're not even teenagers!"
"Damn, don't tell me Saotome is branching out to younger models now?"
"Sicko."
At once, Ranma started shouting about how this was not what it looked like, there was no romance involved in their relationship, not that they had a relationship, they were far too young for him and they were just guests at the Tendo Dojo.
"Saotome!" Ranma twitched and rolled his eyes, and here came Kuno, right on time.
The samurai-wannbe was in more of a furious state than Ranma thought he would be, though that was likely because of the apparent age of the twins as he roared out, "Foul fiend, do you know no end to your depravity! Ensnaring young girls like the deviant you are, I will not stand for this!"
Naturally, at the look on Ranma's face, and the vaguely insulting manner with which he was being addressed, the twins immediately sprang into action before Ranma could even try to make up an excuse.
What followed was a coordinated assault on Kuno; no matter which one of the twins he parried, her sister was always there to strike from behind, or from the sides and in one clever attack, they hit him from above and below until the kendoist finally collapsed into a bruised heap.
Ranma smiled slightly at the sight before he heard another voice calling him, "What the heck is going on Ranchan?" He turned and winced as he saw Ukyo approaching him with a narrow-eyed expression.
Ukyo had seen the coordinated assault and heard the latest comments and additions to the Ranma rumor-mill. But while she was prone to getting imaginative about how Ranma ended up with a pair of twin girls that were likely his new fiancées for some crazy reason or another, Ranma's explanation brought some good cheer to her mood.
With Shampoo going to be stuck in China for this whole contested kiss deal, that meant the one real threat to her fiancée bid with Ranma (and of course she discounted Akane, that brat was going to kill her Ranchan long before she professed love for him) was effectively out of the competition and the thought of two pre-teen twins getting Ranma to marry them was ludicrous. Sure Ranma might befriend them in his usual style, but no way did they have a chance at romance with him!
So it was a smiling Ukyo that nodded to Ranma and said, "Okay Ranchan, I believe you. See ya later!"
And while Ranma thought he dodged a bullet, if he could have read Ukyo's mind he wouldn't have been so happy to see Ukyo bound off like a delighted puppy.
In the Prime reality, Ranma-Prime watched all of this happen with a faintly amused expression. He still didn't know what had prompted him to wonder if Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung might have come back to try and marry him themselves, instead of coming back to try and pair him with Shampoo, but it didn't look like anything more than the usual bout of weirdness. Just like that business with Copycat Ken, or the Men's Martial Arts Rhythmic Gymnasts, or, hell, even that mess with the Ultimate Weakness... Moxibustion...
"Oh crap." He said, as the realization sank in. "What happened when that old pervert stuck that damn strength-sapping burn on my back? I know I never did thank them for it, but the Amazons did save my ass when that happened... did he maybe not bother doing so in this timeline?" He asked this last part hopefully, and wilted when the Eye replied in the negative.
"So what happened to me then?" He asked, wondering just how he could have gotten over it. In his timeline, Cologne had been in town, which was how she was able to hear about his being weakened by Happosai and come to his aid; teaching him the Hiryu Shoten Ha so that he could challenge and defeat the old lecher even in his weakened state. The twins, from his point of view, hadn't returned to Japan until much later. So, how on earth was he able to defeat Happosai in this timeline, when there was no Cologne to teach him the Hiryu Shoten Ha, never mind a Mousse to try and take advantage of his state to get hold of Shampoo and inadvertently reveal the news to the Joketsuzoku elder?
In response to his query, the Eye zoomed in on the night after Happosai's true revenge had been made apparent...
In the Tendo Dojo, Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung were awake and deep in discussion, huddling on either side of the lit candle that was the sole source of light in the dojo.
"What are we going to do, sister?" Ling-Ling asked in Chinese. "That evil little troll has put a horrible moxibustion on our future husband, making him weak as a baby."
"What do you mean our future husband?" Lung-Lung hissed softly. "He belongs to Big Sister Shampoo- we're only doing this because great-grandfather Sink came up with the idea, and we'll have to give him back to her as soon as great-grandaunt Cologne clears this whole mess up."
"So, are you telling me that you don't want Ranma as your husband?" The magenta-haired twin asked, a mischievous grin on her face. "That you don't think he's brave, and kind, and so handsome, too...?"
Her aquamarine-haired sister flushed and fidgeted nervously. "I... I wasn't saying that. I mean, he is really nice to us- none of the other boys back in the village were so kind. They always said we were messups, remember? And... well, he is kinda cute..."
"Oh, so you weren't staring at his butt when we followed him to school yesterday?" Ling-Ling teased.
"T-That's besides the point!" Lung-Lung stammered. "Besides, aren't you the one who still has that shirt of his? The one he gave you after you set your own on fire when we were fighting Copycat Ken?"
Now it was Ling-Ling's turn to be embarrassed. "S-So what if I do? Besides, this isn't what I wanted to talk about- we've got to help him get his strength back! For our sake, for Shampoo's sake, for his sake!"
"You're right! This is an affront to all of Joketsuzoku! We must take action!" Lung-Lung declared, hurtling upright into a defiant pose.
"We've got to tell him that we're with him, all the way!" Ling-Ling proclaimed, standing up in her own triumphant pose.
As one, the two sisters began to laugh triumphantly, cutting off as they suddenly heard voices coming from outside the dojo. At once, old instincts kicked in and they stopped laughing, grabbing up their weapons and hurrying to the door as quickly and quietly as they could, lurking in the shadows to overhear what was being said.
"Do we have to leave in the night like a couple of thieves?" Ranma asked.
"It's better this way. We'll train on the road, just like the old days, then come back and defeat Happosai and restore your strength!" Genma retorted, pumping a fist in the air for emphasis.
"And exactly how that work?" Came a feminine voice, making both Saotomes jump and their hands twist into warding gestures as the twins emerged from the gloom.
"Little girls shouldn't poke their nose into adults' business." Genma growled indignantly.
Ling-Ling promptly hit him over the head with her shortstaff. "And old fools should no be heard or seen." She snapped. She then turned to Ranma. "Ranma not seriously listen to old fool? Ranma really think he can help you beat old pervert?"
"Well... maybe." Ranma said. Truth be told, he wasn't really that confident Genma would have anything useful -after all, Jusenkyo had been his last "great idea" for training- but he was, frankly, desperate. "But what am I going to do? I need my strength back."
"Then Ranma should start using head." Said Lung-Lung. "Ranma go about this all wrong; goal is not to beat up old pervert, goal is to get chart from old pervert. Beat stinky old goat is just added fun. All Ranma really need to do is to steal chart away and get cured. Then come back and beat stinky old goat into ground."
Ranma looked at the pre-teen askance, while Genma's eyes suddenly widened, as though he had just realized a key to the universe. "Of course, why didn't I see it before?! They're absolutely right! I didn't spend a decade teaching you how to pick pockets and steal wallets for nothing, boy, you can just snatch the chart from the Master and run!"
"Ranma know how pick pockets?" The twins asked in confusion.
"Geez, pop, why don't you just plaster it all over town?" Ranma snapped. "But... you got a point. If it means I'll be strong again, then I'll do whatever it takes, even if it does mean acting even the slightest bit like you!" He proclaimed, thrusting a dramatic finger at the sky, and earning a rousing cheer from the twins.
Which was when a weight came flying out of the darkness and just missed beaning Ranma in the head. "Will you people keep it down? People are trying to sleep in here!"
Silence quickly blanketed the yard, and then Ling-Ling spoke up in a quiet voice. "And we help you, no matter what it takes." Beside her, Lung-Lung nodded her assent.
"Um... no offense girls..." Ranma began.
"But nothing; Ranma need us, to watch back, if nothing else. Besides, more people fighting stinky old goat means more chance he not notice someone trying to grab chart. And what if he try pull sneaky trick- let himself be lured into fight, but leave chart back in room? You need us." Lung-Lung interrupted.
Ranma nodded, hesitantly, then spoke up. "The problem is... well... you girls aren't exactly the fastest, or the most precise in your strikes..."
"So teach us. Ranma learn it, we need learn it, Ranma can teach us. How hard could it be?"
Ranma went silent, turning his gaze to Genma, who nodded gravely. "Very well, boy, I give you permission to train these girls in order to help you retrieve your strength."
At this, Ranma turned back to them and nodded. "Alright, if pops says I can, then I guess there are a few tricks I can show you..."
Pickpocket Training...
"So, all we have to do is remove contents of pockets without making any bells ring?" Ling-Ling asked warily.
"That easy." Lung-Lung stated confidently.
Ranma shook his head in the negative. "That's the beginner's training and, awkward as you girls can be, you're still past that level. No, what you gotta do is steal the bells themselves. And if I hear so much as one tinkle, you fail." He gave a cheery grin at their sudden downturned expressions. "Hey, it's easier then what my old man made me do- when I was learning, he liked to stick mousetraps in the pockets, just for added encouragement."
The twins swallowed nervously. He was just telling them about that to make them feel better, right? He wasn't trying to subtly warn them about any extra surprises in the dummy... was he?
Speed Training...
"Ow, ow, ow, ow..." Lung-Lung whimpered softly, prompting Ranma to sigh before squirting some burn ointment into his hand so he could start applying it to the blisters proliferating the teen's arms... from her hands up to her shoulders, thanks to her sleeves having caught on fire.
"I don't know, I've never seen girls like you two for setting yourselves on fire. I mean, after what happened to your sister, I'd have thought you would have known to roll up your sleeves before trying this."
Lung-Lung simply wriggled, partially from embarrassment, partially from the pain as Ranma gently began coating her burns with the cold, soothing cream. A sudden yelp of pain from Ling-Ling drew Ranma's attention away from his current "patient", but she shook her head at his inquiring gesture- she didn't need the cream. "Just be grateful you don't have to try and learn this with the damn Full-Body Cat's Tongue on you; now that was a pain."
Finally, it was D-Day, the day that Ranma, Ling-Ling, and Lung-Lung swore would see Happosai's plot defeated. The twins had volunteered to be the ones to lure the old letch away from his quarters, pointing out that he would most likely go easy on them, as he had neither any grudge against them or any desire to molest them. They also pointed out that Happosai probably had all sorts of booby traps in his room, and Ranma had begrudgingly agreed that he should be the one to scope it out- he had a fair bit of experience with traps and tripwires...
From their hiding places, positioned where they could easily see the good sized mound of women's undergarments that was the bait to their trap, Ling-Ling turned to her sister. "You think Akane will mind we used all her undies to make a trail for the old fart?"
"I'm more worried about whether or not he'll actually fall for a trap like this. I mean, he isn't that stupid, is he?"
"Woohoo! Panties, bras, lingerie in all styles, it's the motherlode!"
A sweatdrop trickled down each of their faces as they saw Happosai flinging underwear around like an anime bandit in a pile of treasure. "Yep, he is that stupid."
Meanwhile, back at the Tendo Dojo, Ranma had crept into Happosai's lair and was trying his hardest to find the chart, if it was there at all. It wasn't easy; the second guest room was practically drowning in women's underthings, and Ranma wasn't too happy about having to root through them all; he just had this sinking feeling that if any of the Tendos saw this, they would immediately leap to the conclusion he was doing it for the undies, not the chart. He rooted through every nook and cranny, and besides a few spare pipes, changes of clothing and bags of tobacco, all he found was a supply of Happosai's bombs. He looked at them for the longest few minutes of his life, sorely tempted to rig them into some kind of timebomb, then finally managed to muster his will and put them back.
"Well... I guess he must have it with him. Only makes sense; I guess he was aware of this sort of risk. Man, I hope the twins will be alright... guess we'll need a new plan..."
Meanwhile, back at the ambush site, the twins weren't having a fun time either as they quickly found that Happosai had the chart, and that changed the plan from simply distraction to actual theft under assault as the ancient grandmaster proved that he was more than capable of keeping the two of them in view for more than a few seconds as the twins valiantly weathered his own retaliations while blocking his escape routes.
"You two brats are starting to annoy me!" As Happosai grabbed several of his fire-bombs, the twins saw their chance and as Ling-Ling charged forward, Lung-Lung came in from the side. With Amaguriken swiftness, the bomb fuses were shortened and the chart neatly snatched out of Happosai's clothing before they leapt backwards, the twins trading a glance as the grandmaster stormed out, smoking in several places from the explosion.
Almost immediately, a small music box and was tossed out and as Happosai was about to leap into action, the music box began to play and the ancient pervert began to dance against his will as the twins made their escape.
Waiting for Happosai to return, as it would be necessary to prove that he hadn't been involved in the twins' attempted strike at the old pervert in order to keep him from becoming more wary, was harder then Ranma had thought it would have been. It took a surprising amount of discipline not to fidget when Happosai finally came leaping over the wall... almost as much as it did to avoid twitching when the perverted fossil walked until he was just up to Ranma and waved the chart just out of reach of him.
"You see this, you snot-nosed little punk? Those insolent little girls who've become your groupies tried to get this from me today, but it didn't work!"
"I had nothing to do with it." Ranma stated blankly... oh, it was so tempting to lunge for that precious piece of paper, but without his strength, he couldn't do a thing to try and take it back.
"Even if you did, it didn't work! Those little pukes knew who they were messing with- they threw the chart back to me when they realised I wasn't going to give up!" Happosai smirked darkly at Ranma's horrorstruck expression. The old goat had to be lying! ...Hadn't he?
When Happosai wandered away, Ranma took off as fast as he could... forgetting, in his initial rush, that no strength meant he couldn't jump like he used to, slamming face-first into the wall instead of clearing it. Swearing in various tongues, he rushed for the gate, pushing through it and racing towards the place where he and the twins had chosen to rendezvous.
Ranma found the twins at the rendezvous waiting casually as though they didn't have a care in the world, "What the hell happened? I thought you would have managed to get the chart from him and then he goes and shoves it in my face!"
Ling-Ling rolled her eyes, "Ranma get high-strung too easy. We get chart, and then we copy it!" The twins each produced multiple copies of the chart, leaving Ranma to goggle at the small stack.
"Wha? How?" The twins sighed.
"Ling-Ling and Lung-Lung paralyze stinky old goat with music box and then go to copy shop, make lots of copies and then dump original chart on street for stinky old goat to find while we go wait for you. Is too-too clever no?"
Ranma blinked, and then started chuckling, "Yeah, I guess it is."
Lung-Lung smiled. "Now, Ranma turn round and pull up shirt. This hurt..." She warned.
Ranma complied without the slightest hesitation. "After all this, it'll be worth it."
"Just keep that in mind." Ling-Ling warned as she took out a match and struck it. "Think happy thoughts..."
"I'm guessing that they become friends at this point. Wonder how that works out further down the line...holy crap." Ranma-Prime simply stared at the intricate spider's web of diverging timelines after that moment and for a moment he was tempted to take a closer look at them but quickly decided against it. After all it was still raining, and Ranma-Prime swore he saw a dog in scuba gear outside the window, and there were still plenty of different timelines to look at.
Ranma-Prime settled down and started looking for another timeline that would catch his interest.
And that's a wrap for this one. Sorry for the rather non-ending, but there were so many potential possibilities, which we originally we thinking of more or less pointing out, that we decided that a more ambiguous work would be best. Hope you enjoyed it nonetheless.
Well, there's only seven choices left to vote on. There was another 8 possibilities, but I cut them out for various reasons. And, seeing the options that are left, I understand perfectly if people would like me to trim the list down even further. You'll notice there are only 6 choices listed here; number 7 is the final chapter, "What if Mousse had put the Reversal Jewel on Akane upside down", and I want to thank Grey Monkey both for suggesting it and his most recent suggestion for, essentially, this story's epilogue. Many thanks to you, and may your trees every be covered in ripe fruit.
What If…
When Ranma ate Akane's love-predicting sakura-mochi, an X appeared on his face?
Votes: 15
Shampoo thought to get Ranma to sign her marriage license in secret during the Red Thread of Fate affair, so they were still legally married after Akane cut the thread at the last second?
Votes: 13
Shampoo resisted the urge to go back and fight with Ukyo during the hotsprings race, so she and Ranma won the trip to Jusenkyo?
Votes: 13
Ukyo had been the one to jump into the tornado for the chart?
Votes: 12
Ranma finds out how much Ukyo is hurt after "Swimming with Psychos"?
Votes: 9
Ranma thought to ask Shampoo to have their date after he beat the Dojo Destroyer?
Votes: 10