And Love Again
*reposted and fixed, sorry for the confusion*
This chapter has been gathering dust, and liviafan1 gave me the courage to publish it.
Thanks, Liv.
Speaking of.
Speaking of love.
She felt the bite of the counter against the small of her back. Speaking of love, we need to talk. Her arms tightened around his waist, one hand bunched in the fabric of his t-shirt, watching as the fingers that once rest on her cheek fiddled with stray hair.
"Yeah?" She breathed, all air and no certainty, and he pushed the strands behind her ear. He gazed at her for a moment and suddenly the hand on her waist swept her flush against his chest. She huffed out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding.
"I'm glad you came back," the words float to her, warm over the shell of her ear.
"You don't get anymore space," she informed him, resolutely, the fingers that weren't gripping his shirt figure skating up his spine.
"I don't want any," he murmured, slightly bemused at her declaration but more thankful than anything. A little relieved.
She chuckled, the reverberation flowing in a thin staccato. "Well then it's decided." She pulled away, gently, pushing his hair out of his eyes. "I'm not goin' anywhere."
"Seems like you've put your foot down."
"I have."
"Good."
"Fine."
"Fine."
She cracked a small smile before allowing her fingers to ghost over the center of his chest, where she knew her mother's necklace still hung, hidden beneath his t-shirt. "I made a promise to you, too."
His hand crept up to clutch hers, silently tangling their fingers together. "I know."
"Us and this kitchen." She broke the heavy silence with one musical note of laughter, while he cracked a smile.
"Us and this kitchen," he agreed, softly. Before he could say anything further, the shrill tone of the door buzzer interrupted them. He let out a frustrated groan before reluctantly slipping from her embrace, dashing halfway up the stairs before calling Alexis to let her know the town car had arrived.
Alexis appeared shortly after, dressed simply in a long sleeve shirt and jeans. She busied herself in the closet of the foyer, sitting on the floor to lace up her snow boots. Kate couldn't help but think she looked incredibly young at that moment, planted on the hardwood floor with her knees to her chest, lacing her wheat colored roll-up Timberlands, tucking the hem of her jeans into the top.
She stood, slipping a heavy, navy pea coat over her shoulders, before shrugging in to a matching scarf. Kate continued to observe them in fascination as Rick pulled the hat over her head, covering her eyes briefly, causing her to laugh as he rolled the end to just above her brow. He kissed her head, telling her to be safe, and with a quick wave to Kate, the redhead was gone.
Kate didn't realize she was staring after the girl until Rick was herding her against the counter again, his hands smoothing her torso before finding purchase on her hips. She turned back to him, and he stunned her when his lips brushed across her cheek, the ghost of a caress. She cocked her head to the side, her brow furrowed.
"What was that for?" Still, she let her arms fall over his as they circled her waist, slightly confused but comfortable in his hold. She liked being here. Right here.
"You just…the way you look at her. The way you always have."
His can't help but see the two of them – growing closer and closer over the past few years in this very loft.
"She's easy to love, Rick," she replied, simply, and she swore she saw his heart swell in his gaze. Had she ever told him she loved Alexis? Has she ever told Alexis?
She wasn't sure she'd even told herself.
"You should tell her that," Rick murmured into her hair, where his nose nudged her temple.
"Yeah?" She was distracted by the feel of his breath washing over her neck.
"Yeah," he grinned into her hair. "It's the only thing you have to tell that girl more than once."
"And you're sure she's yours?"
"Ha-ha detective." He pulled away the slightest bit, placing a chaste kiss on her jaw. "We should finish talking."
"Isn't that what we're doing?" She was afraid of his words.
"Kate," his forehead came to rest against hers. "I haven't been fair to you." Her fingers wound their way into the hairs on the nape of his neck. "I…" His arms shifted around her, pulling her closer, as if he were afraid she would disappear.
"Hey." Her hands left his neck and fell to his forearms. "I'm not going anywhere. We covered this."
He sighed, heavily. "These weeks...they've been hell without you. I kept searching for my best friend to talk to and I just—"
"Why didn't you call, Rick?"
"I didn't want you to—"
She didn't let him finish. "I missed my best friend, too, you know." Her voice came in a whisper; her warm breath tickling his cheek, as his forehead fell to her shoulder.
"You…you make it easier. You make me happy, Kate. And I don't even know if I deserve to be happy. Not while she's so hurt."
"That is the stupidest thing I've ever heard." She ducked her head, the delicate bridge of her nose bumping his shoulder so he would lift his head and meet her eyes. "Just because you love me…" Her heart erupted with butterflies as the words crossed her lips. "Doesn't mean you love your daughter any less. And she knows that."
"How do you know?" She could have imagined it, he said it so quietly.
"Besides the fact that you tell her every chance you get?" She nearly scoffed.
"What are words even worth?"
"You tell me; you're the one with the millions."
He remained silent, almost red with the effort it took not to feel sorry for himself, and he watched as the challenge in her hard gaze softened into understanding.
"Rick, that girl is so, so lucky to have you in her life." Her hands fell to his broad shoulders, before drifting up to allow her delicate fingers to brush the nape of his neck. She dipped her forehead to rest on his chest, her even breathing fluttering over the exposed skin. When she finally spoke again, her voice was soft. "And just so you know, Castle, you make me happy, too."
She smiled when she felt the small squeeze he gave her, the soft press of his lips against her temple, the broad span of his fingers across her back.
He relished the way her body fit perfectly against his as she rested flush against his chest. There was something so warm about the gesture, so familiar and yet, so rare.
"Do we have to move?" he mumbled into her hair, his breath washing over her ear.
"Do you really want your daughter to come home and find us right here where she left us?" Kate countered, grinning at the prospect.
"Are you really going to answer my question with a question?" He felt her answering in the form of a smile against his neck.
"Few more minutes."
…
"Wow." Alexis felt the air whoosh out of her as she stepped into the loft. The entire place was cloaked in a warm glow. A fire was lit in the dining room's fireplace, and candles adorned the living room, and if she wasn't mistaken, somewhere, incense was burning.
A smile bloomed on her face. Home.
She pulled off her coat, shaking off the snow it had collected. Her hat, gloves and scarf joined the coat in the closet, and she tucked her boots between her father's and Kate's. She admired the notion for a moment, another smile on her lips, before turning her attention back to the living room.
In the oversized arm-chair, Kate was curled up, her feet tucked under the arm cushion, a book balanced on her raised knees. Across from the detective, her father was seated in the middle of the couch, both his arms spread on the back of the sofa, his head lolling backwards. It should have been awkward but instead it was adorable and endearing and her dad.
Kate looked up from her book, following the younger woman's gaze from her to her father and back. "Cleaning wore him out," she greeted by way of explanation. Alexis said nothing, just turned to her with a smile. "What?" Kate shifted, awkwardly.
"Nothing," Alexis replied, but after a moments' consideration, "I'm just glad to be home."
The smile Kate gave her, the one that reached her eyes and made them look so green, made her glad she amended her statement.
She walked over to the sofa, settling herself gingerly beside her father, careful not to jostle him awake as she tucked herself into his side, her head falling to his chest.
Kate sucked in a deep breath at the sight of them- at that overwhelming ache that squeezed her heart. Love. Apparently, the feeling choking the air from her wasn't as discrete as she hoped, and Alexis was looking at her expectantly.
"I…um…I can make dinner. If you're hungry. We wanted to wait…" Kate's voice trailed off, and she sucked her bottom lip between her teeth.
"Is it okay if we eat in a bit?" the redhead asked, quietly. "I haven't seen him sleep like this since-"
Yeah.
"Of course," Kate agreed, as Alexis looked from her to the other side of Rick and back again, expectantly.
After a moment's hesitation, Kate picked up her book and stood, re-settling gently on Rick's other side. She pulled her legs up to her chest and rested her head on his shoulder, looking to Alexis over his broad chest. The teen smiled at her before letting her eyes flutter closed, her arm draped across her father's waist.
Kate turned to her book, flipping to where her finger marked her page. She glanced over the words but her mind wandered, and she found herself counting the heartbeats of the man beside her, reveled in the way her body picked up the steady rhythm, adopted it, matched it.
She abandoned the book altogether in lieu of him, shifting so she could brush her mouth against his jaw. She settled more completely against his chest, letting her arm travel his waist, brush Alexis' wrist. Her fingers played with the girls' shirt sleeve, absently. Before she knew it, her eyes were sliding closed, allowing the rhythmic sounds of his heart and her breathing to lull her to sleep.
…
Kate woke to the uncanny feeling of eyes on her. She smiled before she opened her eyes, fully expecting to see Rick watching her sleep.
"Creepy," she murmured, trying and failing to keep her grin at bay. It wasn't creepy, it was amazing and sweet and-
"Sorry," a small voice that did not belong to Richard Castle answered.
Kate's eyes snapped open. She wasn't leaning on Rick's chest anymore, she was laying, stretched out on the couch, her head on a throw pillow. Alexis lay squeezed beside her, arms wrapped around the detective's midsection, her head falling just below the her chin.
Blue eyes stared up at her, worried and embarrassed, and after she got over her initial surprise, Kate just smiled.
"It's only creepy when your dad does it," she whispered into the younger woman's ear, earning a smile.
"I secretly like it," Alexis whispered back, the blush dying from her cheeks.
"Me too," Kate confided, and watched as Alexis beamed at the secret sharing. "But don't tell him that."
"I won't, but you should." The blush was back. "And sorry I'm using you as a pillow. You're comfortable."
"And you're warm, so don't be sorry," Kate let her hand fall to the girl's red hair, her fingers comb through it.
"Hey Kate," Alexis murmured, her head flush to the detective's collar.
"Hmm?" Kate's eyes had fallen shut, her fingers still moving through the girl's hair, absently.
"You think we're gonna be alright?" The words came so softly she almost missed them.
Kate opened her eyes, letting them fall to meet Alexis'. She drew her hand from her hair, pushing back the girls bangs instead. Her index finger traced the angry pink scar without hesitation, without preamble.
"I think we're going to be more than alright, Alexis." She murmured, replacing the girl's bangs gingery.
"Kate I-" the redhead stopped, mulling over her words in her head. What she wouldn't give for her father's way with words right about now. Dissecting diction she could do. Inventing her own…not as easy. "Thank you. I don't think I ever told you. Thank you for…everything."
Kate could do nothing but stare blankly at the girl, speech escaping her.
"For saving me. Saving my dad. Pulling us all back into…" she shook her head minutely, "us."
Kate opened her mouth to speak, everything she couldn't say and everything she never thought to voice aloud trying to force their way out at once, causing a silence to reign.
Before she could get the words out, though, Alexis was retracting her arms, sliding off the couch before offering out a hand. "C'mon, Dad's cooked dinner."
"Home is whenever I'm with you."
Edward Sharpe