I will not meow along to the low brass part when my band director tries to help them.

I will not visit my band director's house, and when he doesn't answer the door, sit on his front porch and sing songs.

I will not tell my band director that it's a good idea for him to continue teaching us pranks. (Yes, he teaches us pranks.)

I will not call my band director's girlfriend his "bothfriend" in front of him.

I will not take a bite out of a paper my friend tries to show me.

I will not eat paper in front of my band director and claim it was nothing.

I will not jump back as if touched with a burning stick when my band director mysteriously appears next to me.

I will not get my friend to hide in a tuba cage during small sectional.

I will not, if somebody tells me I'm senile, scream, "YOU'RE SHORT!" and kick mud onto them.

I will not let my friends throw food into the garbage can, take it out, and start eating it again when my band director is present.

I will not give my band director an incredulous look when he plays a clarinet badly.

I will not treat my band director like a mentally challenged baby.

I will not compile a list of Harry Potter spells in a response to the rule about not screaming spells during a cue.

I will not tell people that my band director is very sensitive.

I will not think about testing the myth that the head director throws chairs when he's angry.

I will not take credit for a song that my director played for us.

I will not spend 10 minutes trying to figure out how to say the dynamic "ffff."

I will not make "sex eyebrows" at my friend in the flute section during an important discussion.

I will not overwhelm a little 8th grade boy at 8th grade pep band night by giving him a lot of candy.

I will not name the drum majors names like "Lesbian Alvin." He's a guy, and his name isn't Alvin.

I will not talk about my other teacher's friend that he calls "Firecrotch."

I will not spend the first day of band camp with the new director and immediately decide that he looks much like a chipmunk.

I will not call my band director "Rapey."

I will not combine the words "turtle" and "tortoise" to describe the head director. Turtis.

I will not stare at the rapidly spinning ceiling fan for 10 minutes.

I will not blame the "boom" noise the construction workers are making on the person next to me.

I will not skateboard in the bandroom.*

I will not ask my band director every day if we can do the Hokey Pokey.*

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Also, much thanks to AkumuKitty9797 for the last two! :)

Sorry if it's a bit short, guys; I felt the need to update for you but I couldn't think of many that have happened in the past 2 and a half weeks! (Trust me . . . we have a parade coming up, and then band camp starts in June . . . Oh, I WILL have many . . . especially since I have to go to band camp on my birthday this year! [June 10th.])