I woke up the next morning feeling refreshed and ready to start my day. I look over at Dimitri to see him still sleeping. He is laying on his stomach with his face towards me and his hand laying on his pillow. He looked so sweet and childish. The only time he looks vulnerable is when he is sleeping. Otherwise he is this huge intimidating Russian who is stoic with no emotions.
In the beginning of our marriage he was different. More open and loving. He would look at me like I was some exotic angel he had to have. I leaned over and placed a kiss on his cheek. He wouldn't let me kiss him if he was awake so I took in this small victory. His skin felt warm and smooth against my lips. I love this man. And I would like to believe that he loves me too, but I can't be sure nowadays. One moment he acts like the perfect loving husband who worships the ground I walk on and the next he looks at me like I disgust him. Sometimes I get scared that he found out about Adrian and that is why he is so harsh but this has been going on for a long time now. Long before I met Adrian. I believe he is just confused about how he feels for me. As I am for him. Both of us are to blame. Both of us took advantage of our love and never took precautions to protect it. We stopped caring. We stopped being lovers and became life partners. Someone to keep you company.
My mother warned me about marrying too young. She said, "Rose, sometimes love is not enough. You need to really know a person before you marry them. Love will not last forever. It can fade." But I never listened. I knew Dimitri was the one for me. I knew deep in my bones that I could never stop loving him and that I could never love another. Boy, was I wrong.
Dimitri started to stir, waking me up from my mental rambling. I decided to try. Try to bring back the passion. I had to. I can't lose the man I swore to love forever. Granted my vows were shot the moment I decided to be a little whore and cheat on him but it can't be too late to save us. I went for a quick shower and washed up to smell and feel clean. I sprayed some vanilla body splash and put on some strawberry chapstick. I was still wet and only had on a towel but I felt sexy.
When I exited the bathroom, Dimitri was sitting on the foot of the bed rubbing his eyes. I walked over to his gripping my towel to my body and stood in between his legs. He gave me a questioning look.
"What are you doing?" He asked.
"Trying." I said back with a hint of desperation in my voice. I released my grip on the towel and leg it fall to the floor. Dimitri's eyes widened but quickly turned away.
"Rose, I'm really not in the mood." He says and gets up to retreat to the bathroom.
Completely humiliated and rejected I shook it off and got ready for work. As I got ready, I got angry. I was trying wasn't I? Sure I'm not the poster child for a perfect wife but I was trying. He didn't even put in an effort. I threw myself at him and he rejected me.
I didn't wait for him to come down to say goodbye. I slammed the door as hard as I could on my way out. I angrily make my way to work.
As I walk into my office I slip into my professional role. I work at a small mental hospital on the outskirts of town. It is a place for the mentally unstable to come and stay for treatment. It is not for the criminally insane so it is safer but we still take precautions. The guards stand by for every session and stand guard by all the exits. I mostly work with severely depressed people. My friends Eddie and Mason, two of the guards, are standing by the doors as I walk in. I wave to them and make my way to my office. I'm already late for a session with one of my patients so as I walk by Lissa I give her a sad smile and keep walking. She sends me a knowing nod and a small smile. Vasilisa Dragomir is the head physician here and is very well-respected. She is my best friend and the best damn doctor that I've ever had the pleasure of meeting. She is currently engaged to Christian Ozera, the fire chief at the Missoula Fire Department. She is tall and slim with long blond hair and green eyes. She looks like an angel. Sweet and innocent. It makes my heart hurt every time she talks about getting married. It makes me wish to go back to when Dimitri and I were engaged. So happy and in love.
Work was long and tiring, but finally when it was time to go home all I wanted to do was sleep. My feet and back ached and a migraine was growing. My phone buzzed as I made my way to my car. A text.
From Dimitri. I'll be home late. Don't wait up. That made my blood boil. Why the hell was he working late all the time. He is always gone. He's an architect. What the hell could an architect be doing at 10:00 pm? Well probably lots of things but I was too angry and exhausted to be reasonable. So with my mood shot I got in my car and drove home. As I parked my car in the driveway I got another text.
From Adrian. I need to see you. Meet me? Hmm... What to do, what to do? Go inside and wait for Dimitri to get home to bitch at him for this morning or go have a hot make out session with my lover?