Update: December 30th, 2012

Huge thanks to my amazing beta-Goddess, Irritable_Grizzzly, and my incredible pre-reader, Vican.

Testing Limits

Carlisle was nothing if not thorough. And keen.

After the change he was champing at the bit to run all sorts of tests on my new body, and considering we had so much to learn, I could hardly not approve his request to run a full check of my vitals.

So, I sat shirtless on the examination bench as he slipped an inflatable blood pressure cuff onto my arm and pushed a button.

The cuff inflated to the point of pain, and I flexed my bicep in response. The plastic promptly ruptured and deflated.

Carlisle stared at the broken cuff and blinked. "Well, that was unexpected. Remind me to never anger your bicep again."

"Sorry. It hurt."

"No matter. I still got a reading." He wrote on his clipboard and frowned. "Hmmm."

"What does that mean?"

He composed his face into his 'professional' mode and gave me the world's most insincere smile. "Oh, nothing to worry about."

"Carlisle ..."

He put down his clipboard and looked me in the eye. "Your blood pressure and heart rate are high."

"But that's to be expected, right? I mean, the wolf blood gives me a heightened metabolism?"

"Yes, to a degree. But ..."

"But, what?"

"This is higher that I would have predicted. Your heart is racing, and the rhythm is uneven. It's ... concerning."

I looked at Bella. She was standing beside Carlisle with her hand on my thigh, worry etched on her face.

"Edward, what does this mean?"

I picked up her hand and kissed it. "I don't think it's anything to worry about. May I have a few minutes to talk to Carlisle? Alone?"

"What? Why?"

"Please, Bella. I think Esme wants you to try the soup she's made for me."

She frowned. "How do you know that?"

I paused. Good question. "Uh ... I'm not sure, but maybe you could go and check if I'm right."

I knew she was worried, but I was pretty sure she didn't need to be. I had a good idea about what was going on. I just wanted to confirm it before allaying her fears.

"Okay, but you're going to tell me later, right?" she said, stroking my arm.

"Absolutely."

She gave me a pointed look before kissing my cheek and heading upstairs. When she was gone I took a few deep breaths and tried to stop thinking about her. After a few minutes, I asked Carlisle to take my pulse again.

He laughed at the result. "Well, that's much better. She really affects you, doesn't she?"

I nodded. "God, yes. I mean, when I was dead she made me feel alive, so now that I'm alive, she makes me feel ... "

"Superhuman?"

I smiled. "Something like that."

"How's your pain?"

I wanted to tell him that it was better, but it wasn't. My new muscles were excruciating, and whenever I walked I felt like Frankenstein's monster, all rigid arms and legs. The less I bent them, the less I hurt.

Carlisle must have read the disappointment in my face, because he placed a hand on my shoulder. "It'll get better, son, I'm sure of it."

I sighed, impatient as always. "When?"

"I don't know, but you have to understand that your body has gone through a miraculous transformation. It's perfectly normal to have a degree of inflammation. Every cell has metamorphosed and is no doubt still adjusting to a new state. I'd suggest trying something like yoga to stretch out the muscles. Get them used to functioning as flesh and blood again."

I looked at him skeptically. "Yoga?"

"Yes."

I climbed off the metal bench and winced as I pulled on my t-shirt. "Carlisle, yoga is for new-age himbos who wax their body hair in strange and unusual places. I used to be one of the world's most efficient predators. I don't need yoga." I said the last word with the same connotation as a venereal disease.

"If it helps alleviate the pain, it might allow you to be intimate with Bella sooner rather than later."

He'd hit upon the perfect argument.

Within fifteen minutes I'd ordered twelve yoga DVDs over the internet and was trying several poses I'd found online. It hurt like hell, but if it helped me make love to Bella, it would be worth it.

Downward dog? Who the hell thinks of these names? Oh, God. Ow.

Bella came downstairs and watched me in amused silence. I tried to ignore her and the desire in her eyes. Her being aroused by my efforts was just another reason to continue.

I did yoga until I collapsed.

...

...

...

The next morning I awoke to Bella staring at me again. I registered an insistent ache in my groin and looked down to see that I was impressively hard.

"Good morning," Bella said to my crotch.

"Um ... Isabella, I don't mean to accuse you of anything untoward, but... were you touching me while I slept?"

She laughed and kissed me. I was a little self-conscious about the bacteria that now inhabited my mouth, no doubt giving me the dreaded human morning breath, but she didn't seem to mind, so neither did I.

"Edward, what are you suggesting? That I pleasured you while you were unconscious? What sort of person would do something like that?"

I rolled on top of her and pinned her hands as I settled between her legs. "I know that you're alluding to the less-than-innocent acts I perpetrated when we first met, but I still maintain you weren't completely asleep. You talked to me. Encouraged me. I was merely satisfying your obvious carnal urges."

She licked her lips. "I'm having some pretty carnal urges right now. How about you satisfy them?"

She squirmed against me, and for a moment my old predatory instinct to incapacitate her flared, but it only lasted for a moment, and it didn't have the intensity it used to. Judging from the look on Isabella's face, she was totally fine with that.

"I love it when you make that sound," she said, rolling her hips and driving me insane.

"What sound?"

"It's kind of a mix between a grunt and a growl. It's sexy as hell."

She rubbed herself on me, gentle and tantalizing. "I hadn't realized I'd made a noise."

"Oh, you did. My vagina heard it very clearly."

"Your vagina has the ability to hear?"

"When you make that noise it does."

"Good to know."

I kissed her and noticed that even though my erection was causing me great amounts of pain, it did seem a little less than the day before. I didn't see how yoga could decrease the pain in that particular muscle, but I couldn't deny the improvement. Perhaps Carlisle was right after all.

"Where's your family?" Bella asked as I kissed down her neck to her breasts.

"Out."

Since the change, my family had been graciously scarce, giving Bella and me as much privacy as possible. Right now, I was immensely grateful for that.

I pulled down her top and tasted her skin. So delicious. My hands were greedy, too. They caressed and stroked, and I pulled her against me as she wound her hands in my hair. I wanted her so much I was trembling. I pushed my hand into her pajamas and felt her, petal soft and more-than-ready. Oh, Lord, how I wanted that. On my fingers. My mouth. On my erection that was currently screaming in agony.

"Oh ... Edward ... yes ..."

I endured the pain for a few minutes longer, purely to revel in the new and exhilarating ways my human body experienced arousal, but when Isabella pushed her hand between us and palmed me, the agony became too much.

I rolled off and lay on my back, breathing deeply. Everything hurt. Everything wanted her. No part of me could have her. I ran my hand through my hair in frustration.

Bella straightened up her top and sighed.

"I'm sorry," she said as she leaned over and stroked my face.

"It's not your fault."

"No. It's yours for being irresistible. I know it's too early to touch you like that, but you're all... there... and half-naked ... and hard, and I'm weak and want you."

"I want you, too. But my body has other ideas." I flexed my hands as I waited for the pain to pass.

Isabella stroked my scalp. "What sort of pain is it?"

"The painful kind."

She tugged my hair. "You know what I mean."

I sighed. Stroking my hair was relaxing, and as long as I didn't focus on how her breasts spilled over the edge of her tank top as she lay on her side, I might have a chance of deflating my erection.

"Mostly, it's a deep, throbbing pain, but when I reach a certain level of ... arousal ... it turns into more of a sharp, stabbing pain."

"Does Carlisle think it's normal?"

"I don't think we have any benchmark for what's normal in this situation. He thinks the pain will fade over time. He just doesn't know how long it will take."

"What if it takes weeks? Or months?"

"I don't even want to think about that."

She snuggled into my side, and I wrapped my arm around her. "However long it takes," she said, "it's going to be worth the wait."

"Are you sure about that? Maybe as a human I'll be a terrible lover."

She snorted. "Yeah, right. Human or vampire, you're my mate. Just lying next to you makes me crazy aroused, or didn't you notice that when you put your hand in my pants."

I squeezed my eyes shut. Just the thought of how she felt made me harder. I breathed out on a hiss.

"I wish I could take the pain away," she whispered, and stroked my chest until I could breathe again. "Still, I have no doubt that when you're ready, we're not going to have any problems when it comes to sex."

"I hope not."

I really needed the pain to go away faster, so I could put her theory to the test.

...

...

...

I knew I was hugging her too tightly, but I couldn't let go. Her breathing was uneven and I prayed she didn't cry. If she did, there was no way I could let her walk away.

"It's just a few days," she whispered.

I swallowed around a massive lump in my throat. It was a horrible feeling. The thought of her leaving made my heart thud too fast and my skin prickle with sweat.

Bella pulled back and cupped my cheek. "I couldn't say no. Not after everything I put him through. I'm sorry."

I nodded. I couldn't talk. Everything hurt too much.

"I'll be back Friday night."

I nodded again. Friday night was an eternity away. More than a few minutes apart from her felt like forever. How the hell was I going to make it five days?

I ran my hands up her back, over her shoulders, and caressed her neck as I bent to kiss her.

I pressed gently, then pulled back. Changed my angle. Kissed her again. Soft lips, gentle suction. My heart rate went through the roof. Blood rushed and pounded. Pulsed and tingled. Everything ached for her. All of her. God, I loved her so much.

She kissed me back with just as much passion. Even a little more desperation. How the hell was I going to stop kissing her?

Without these lips for five days? This smell? This skin?

This woman.

My woman.

I kissed her until we were both dizzy from it. My guts knotted when she stepped away.

"I love you." We stared at each other for a few seconds, and the urge to pull her back to me made me tremble.

"Go," I said, my voice hoarse. "Before I lose the strength to let you."

She stepped forward and kissed me before turning and running up the stairs and out of the basement.

I stood there for a long time, trying hard to ignore the wrongness invading my being, bringing with it a sickening ache. It constricted my chest and made my eyes burn.

In the end, I had to accept that it couldn't be ignored. I just had to learn to live with it until she came back to me.

Friday night.

The span of time until then represented way too many solitary heartbeats.

...

...

...

Carlisle tightened the tourniquet around my bicep, a little wary after what I'd done to his blood pressure cuff. I opened and closed my hand a few times in order to plump my blood vessels.

"I've been wanting to take a blood sample for days," he said as he prepared the needle, "but I wanted to make sure all of your systems had stabilized before attempting it."

He tapped the crease in my elbow, and a thick artery pulsed below the skin. I still couldn't get used to seeing it. Blood vessels and capillaries. The healthy pink tone of my arm. I hadn't realized how dead I'd felt until I was truly alive.

"Okay, this might sting," he said as he pushed the needle in. He filled three vials with blood before removing the needle and pressing a cotton ball over the hole. A second later he wiped the spot in preparation for a Band-aid, but the mark had disappeared.

Carlisle frowned. "Okay, this is interesting."

He grabbed a scalpel and moved toward me.

"Whoa. Wait a second. What are you doing?'

"Relax," he said and grabbed my hand. "I just want to try something. It shouldn't hurt. Too much."

He ran the blade across the pad of my index finger. I barely felt it, but a thin line of blood appeared. Carlisle wiped it away with some gauze. By the time he was finished, the cut had closed.

"Interesting."

"You keep saying that."

"It continues to be true. I wasn't sure how the wolves' regenerative properties would manifest in you. It seems your healing speed isn't too dissimilar to theirs."

"I kind of already knew that."

"How?"

"Well, for the past two days, Bella hasn't helped me shave and ... let's just say it is absolutely not impossible to cut yourself with a safety razor."

"Ah, that's why the bathroom smells of blood."

"Yeah."

"Exactly how many times did you cut yourself?"

"In actual numbers?"

"Yes."

"Let just say 'a lot' and leave it at that. I seem to be having a little trouble with my human eye/hand coordination."

"Really? Ooh, we should test that." Carlisle bustled around the basement with the manic gleam he always got when doing 'experiments'. It was kind of hilarious in an incredibly uncool way.

Esme came down, and we watched him together. He was zipping around like he was on fast-forward.

"Experiments?" Esme asked dryly.

"Yep."

"Joy." She pulled out her phone and pointed to a picture on the screen. "I just ordered this from an online t-shirt company. Do you think he'd wear it?"

The picture showed a grey t-shirt printed with the words, "Science! Fuck, yeah!"

I laughed. "When he's like this? Probably."

She watched him with affection and asked, "Bella's still with Charlie?"

"Yes. He's taken her on a road trip to Canada. Father/daughter bonding time. She's been feeling guilty she hasn't seen him much over the past few months."

"When will she be back?"

"Friday night."

"I'm sure she's already climbing the walls."

"She's not the only one." Just talking about her made me miss her more.

"It's all part of being mated. You're meant to be together. Things feel wrong when you're not."

"That's an understatement. I feel empty."

"Is that why you've eaten almost an entire fridge full of food over the past few days?"

"Food is comforting. Although I've heard ice-cream is the most comforting. Why don't we have any?"

"Because your body isn't ready for that much sugar and fat. It would make you sick."

"I'm willing to risk it."

"I'm not. I have a nice bunch of celery. You could binge on that."

I rolled my eyes. "I've only been human for a few days but even I know it's not the same. Ice cream, chocolate, and baked goods of all types are the most popular comfort foods."

"Yes, well, until your digestive system starts expelling waste, let's just stick with whole foods, shall we?"

"So you're saying I don't get treats until I poop? Wow. That awkward moment when your own mother acts like you're a dog."

She laughed, and although I tried to join her, I just couldn't. It was like the hollowness inside me expanded more with every minute I was away from Bella.

Esme put her hand on my arm and gave me a reassuring smile. "She'll be home in a few days."

Home. With me. "I know."

"I understand how you feel. When we find our mates, they become part of us. Functioning without them is ... difficult."

I shrugged and tried to act casual. "Still, it's nice she's spending time with him."

Esme gave me a knowing smile. "Sweetheart, you're a terrible liar. Don't even pretend you're happy about it."

"Fine, I hate that she's with him."

"He's her father."

"Esme, my jealousy isn't rational. I thought you'd understand that by now. Don't offer logic. Commiserate, please."

"Oh, Edward, I'm so terribly sorry that your one true love is a selfish girl who insists on spending time with the man who gave her half her genes. You have my sympathy."

"Thank you."

"Any time."

"What's for lunch?"

"Food. Lots of it."

"Ah, my favorite."

Esme headed back upstairs, and over the next hour, Carlisle ran a series of exhaustive tests on me. He measured my reflexes, reaction time, sight, hearing, regeneration speed, lung capacity, memory, and problem solving. He tried to test my strength, but lifting weights was more than I could bear. Every time my muscles bunched, pain shot through my body.

"Have you tested Bella for all these things?" I asked as I stretched my aching arms. "She lifted a car the day before the change, you know."

Carlisle looked up from his microscope. "She did?"

"It was a small car, but, yes."

He got a manic gleam in his eye. "When will she be home?"

"Friday."

He slumped a little. "Please tell her I'd like to talk to her when she returns."

"Okay." Right after I rub myself all over her like the dog I am.

I watched Carlisle work for a few more minutes before going over to my bed and lying down. The basement wasn't the most glamorous place to recuperate, but at least everything was in shuffling distance.

When I was comfortable, I closed my eyes and tried to ignore my building anxiety about being apart from Bella. Esme was right. Everything felt off without her.

On the nightstand next to me, my phone buzzed. Before I even saw the caller ID, I knew it was her.

"God, I miss you," I said as I answered.

"I miss you, too. So, so much."

"Having a nice time?"

"Yes. And no. I can't stop thinking about you. Dad can tell I'm preoccupied. I feel bad for not being able to focus on him."

"Just tell him you're cosmically mated to a former-vampire-slash-new-human-hybrid and are physiologically, mentally, and emotionally compelled to be with him at all times. I'm sure he'll understand."

"Oh, of course. Why didn't I think of that? Be right back. Telling him now. If you don't hear from me, it's because my father has committed me into a luxurious mental health facility."

I laughed and closed my eyes. Just hearing her voice was taking the edge off my tension.

"I love you, Bella."

"I love you, too, but I have to go. I'm calling you from the ladies' room while Dad refuels. Can't say I'm enjoying my newly heightened sense of smell. I think the last time this bathroom was cleaned, Jimmy Carter was in the White House. It's gross."

"Ah, yes. The Carter years. I remember them well."

"I'm sure you do, old man."

"An old man in an extremely virile body that wants you." I was becoming harder by the second.

"Do you think that body will be in any shape for me to do bad things to it when I get back?"

"I hope so."

"Me, too. Can't wait to see you."

"Me, too."

We said a few more 'I love yous before we hung up, and as soon as the line went dead, I had the strongest urge to call her right back.

Yep, the next few days were going to suck.

...

...

...

I know it's still a day or so away, but, HAPPY NEW YEAR to all my wonderful readers. I hope 2013 brings you joy, success, and much love.

If you have a moment to drop me a line and let me know your thoughts, I'd truly appreciate it.

Thanks for reading.

Kiya x