Disclaimer: I do not own Ranma ½. It belongs to Rumiko Takahashi. I am merely borrowing the characters from her. That's it. Annoying. Honestly.
Kasumi Tendo stood at the kitchen table, slicing the vegetables with dainty ease. Her hands moved of their own volition while the young woman looked out of the window, listening intently to the radio.
"Our correspondent in Nerima is Mrs. Yamamoto. Ai, what happened in Nerima?"
"Well, Makoto, it was a horrific sight as we arrived here one hour ago. Apparently a gang of youths rioted, but even the local police constables are at their wits' end, because they cannot explain how some youths could have possibly smashed a solid brick wall. So it is yet to be discovered what really happened. However, there is a witness who swears to high heaven that he saw a purple-haired, foreign woman smashing the brick wall. According to the latest police report, the young man is in a state of shock and was hospitalised a few moments ago."
"Our correspondent in Nerima, Ai Yamamoto. Thank you very much."
The light faded rapidly now. Even though twilight was the woman's favourite time of the day, because it emphasized the beauty of nature due to the fact that the partial absence of sunlight forced a spectator to look at it more closely, Kasumi had to switch the lights on in order to be able to cook an enjoyable dinner. She frowned deeply as she thought about the words of the newscaster.
Before she could make any sense of it, however, the doorbell rung twice. Quickly she took her apron off and walked towards the door. Having opened it, she saw a black-haired, brown-eyed young man, clothed in a blue kimono.
"Good evening, young lady!", he nobly said. "I, Tatewaki Kuno, the Blue Thunder of Furinkan High, humbly express my sincerest apologies for disturbing you at this late hour. But I have had the desperate urge to see my beloved Akane Tendo."
"Oh my! Please, come in," she answered good-naturedly and led her sister's visitor in to the living room. "Please take a seat. Would you like to have a cup of tea?"
"I'd love to," Kuno exclaimed and sat down.
"Nabiki, would you bring our guest a cup of tea while I try to find Akane?"
"Hmm, guest?", asked the brown-haired girl grumpily, switched the television off and stood up, leaving her crossword lying on the floor. "Oh, it's you, Kuno-baby."
"Well, if it is not Nabiki Tendo," the young kendo master said after the other woman had left the room. "You seem to be in a bad temper."
"That's none of your business, Kuno-baby," she told him and handed him a cup of tea. "What are you doing here?"
"I am here to see my beloved Akane!"
"Well, Kuno, is dating girls, especially my little sister, all you ever think about?", she asked a little sourly, but nonetheless kept a straight face.
"Fear not, Nabiki," he assured her. "I have no intention of asking you out."
"And for that, I am grateful."
In the meantime, the eldest female Tendo walked towards the training hall, where she assumed her little sister to be. Soon enough she heard several loud, but incomprehensible yells and moans. As she came closer to the door, however, she caught some scraps of a rather aggressive conversation.
"What's up with you anyway?", a male voice asked, panting heavily.
"Wha-?! You used me to get rid of Shampoo! That's what's up!", Akane answered furiously. Suddenly Kasumi heard a loud crack and, knowing her little sister, flinched sympathetically.
"Ahh! Leggo of me, you tomboy!", Ranma screamed. "What's the matter? It worked, didn't it?"
"Ranma, I just don't like being used," she whispered dangerously. "But seeing that you seem to enjoy it, I think I may use you as my dummy a little longer."
Instantly Kasumi knocked on the door and was greeted by an awfully cheerful young woman only seconds later. As she looked behind her sister Kasumi saw Ranma lying on the floor. And the young man, she thought, did not look quite as cheerful as his fiancée did. He was lying on his back, wincing at every single movement.
"What is it, Kasumi?"
"Akane, don't you think he's had enough?", Kasumi asked, nodding towards the pitiful mass on the floor.
"I thought so, too, but he just keeps on saying stupid things," she answered angrily. "Is there anything else you want to tell me?"
"Well, Tatewaki Kuno dropped in a few moments ago and he wants to see you," Kasumi said.
"Tell him...," she sighed heavily, but suddenly her eyes lit up. Hastily she turned her head around to her fiancé. "Tell him to meet me in the training hall, Kasumi. Hurry up!"
Not knowing what her sister was up to, Kasumi simply nodded her head and walked back to the living room. There she met Nabiki and the young gentleman engaged in a quarrel.
"I protest!", he argued, seizing some pieces of paper. "The heavens themselves would weep at a thousand yen per shot!"
"So, you don't want them?", Nabiki asked, taking the photos back.
"I take them all," he answered and gave her some money. "You truly are greedy, Nabiki Tendo."
"Well, thank you, Kuno-baby," she answered, counting the money and smiling at him.
Suddenly Kasumi cleared her throat. Both Nabiki and Tatewaki turned around to her.
"Akane wants to meet you in the training hall."
Having thanked her loudly and bade the two women goodbye, the swordsman slowly walked towards the training hall, pondering over the question why his beloved Akane had suggested such a private meeting point. Suddenly he jerked to a halt and stood routed to the ground.
"You, my fair Akane Tendo, want to meet me in private to let me hear with my own two ears how you love me," he said to himself and began to run towards the training hall. "Ah, to me my love, for the day grows late and I thirst for thy kisses."
Before he managed to reach the door of the training hall, though, he heard his loved one yelling at someone else. So, instead of bursting through the door, he curiously waited in front of it in order to hear more of her beautiful voice – but her voice alone was not enough. Soon he found that he had to try to catch a glimpse of her. So he opened the door silently and left it open ajar, but he did not like what he saw. Ranma was lying on the floor and Akane was sitting on top of him.
"Are you serious?", she shrieked loudly. "You still haven't been able to seduce Kodachi Kuno? She was all over you yesterday."
"It ain't that easy," he answered slowly. "Why don't you try to seduce her brother? He's telling you every other day that he wants you."
"Oh, honey, how often do I have to explain this?", she asked lovingly, sighing heavily and putting her hands on his chest. "I am the good girl and you are the bad guy. You seduce Kodachi and pretend to marry her and I, the heartbroken ex-fiancée, derive comfort from her brother. Then, without attracting attention, we urge them to make a will and after we've killed them, we can keep the house and the money."
A yelp escaped Kuno's lips as he heard of their plan. The two young lovers, however, seemed to be too occupied with their conversation to notice the suspicious sound. Immediately the swordsman covered his mouth with his hand and hid behind some nearby bushes, still attentively listening to every word they spoke.
"But what about that moron's pigtailed goddess?", the man asked doubtfully. "What if he does not want to be with you but her?"
"No problem there," she answered with a mischievous grin. "She's gone."
"Gone?", he asked dumbfounded.
Behind the bushed outside the training hall a certain young gentleman opened his eyes widely, turning pale. He panted heavily and formed a silent 'gone' with his mouth. His heart was beating furiously now.
"Gone," she repeated. "And I'm going to tell Kuno of her departure. She went to her uncle in - let's say Africa? - and is not going to come back any time soon. What do you think of that?"
"You're a genius!", he happily exclaimed. "That's why I married you."
"And why did I marry you?", she teasingly asked.
"'Cause I'm so damn handsome?", he suggested and then quickly stood up. "I think I heard something."
Hastily Tatewaki jumped up and was about to run back to the house, when he heard Akane's words.
"Don't worry! It cannot be Kuno, because he surely would have come bursting in, yelling something like: 'Fear not, my Venus. Thou art the goddess of love and beauty. See how I worship you, my love'," she pointed out to him and they started laughing. "Where's that idiot anyway? He should be here by now."
"Doesn't matter, does it?", the martial artist said. "I think I'll invite Kodachi to dinner tonight. Then we can begin performing our task. And now we gotta play act again."
Instantly the young swordsman tried to run away and call for his faithful servant, but he could neither move nor speak. Suddenly he heard the door open behind him. Turning around slowly, he looked like a deer caught in headlights as he faced the quarrelling couple.
"You, you pervert!", she screamed after she had left the training hall and stomped away angrily, almost bumping into a shocked Tatewaki Kuno.
"It's not what it looks like!", Ranma answered hotly, leaving the training hall right behind her. "Kuno, what're you doing here?"
"Ranma, don't be rude," Akane scolded him, smiling at Kuno. "I've got an idea! Why don't you stay for dinner?"
"No! No! I-I ju-just w-wanted to, to tell you that we are leaving," he stammered and then, having come to a decision, continued more bravely: "I wanted to tell you that we, that is my sister Kodachi, I and my father, are leaving. We are moving to Hawaii because of our father. I just wanted to say goodbye."
"Oh, but that's awful!", the young woman exclaimed and watched how Tatewaki Kuno turned around and left the house as fast as he could without running.
"Sasuke! Sasuke! Where are you?"
"Here I am, master," the faithful ninja said, after having appeared out of nowhere.
"Tell Kodachi and her father that they are not allowed to leave the house any more," he ordered. "And then make some preparations, for we will be moving to Hawaii tomorrow!"