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Brought Back To Life

Chapter 4

BPOV

I didn't get up or move, I just lay on the bottom of my bathtub crying. I knew that they would not be able to get in and I just had to wait them out. I cried myself to sleep in the bathtub. When I woke up, I got up and slowly opened my bathroom door. I didn't hear anything. So I walked out and walked towards my living room. There sitting on my couch was a very sad Edward. His head hung down looking at his hands. I guess Alice and Jasper got in but made him wait for me to get out. I knew they wouldn't be able to get into my bathroom.

Edward didn't hear me exit the bathroom and I knew he didn't know I could see him sitting there. I wasn't ready to talk to him. I slowly turned and walked back into my bedroom and lied down on my bed. Edward must have heard my bed or something because suddenly he was sitting at the edge of my bed, calling me.

"Bella, are you awake? Bella?" he kept saying. I didn't answer him. "Please Bella, let me explain, p-l-e-a-s-e," as he stretched out the word.

"Edward please, just go," was all I could say. He knew I was awake now.

"Please, Bella," he said again. I felt him reach for me, but I shrieked away from his touch. "Why, please tell me why you won't talk to me?"

I was angry now. He was the one that made me feel bad and now he's getting angry with me. I sat up and looked at him straight in the eyes. "Edward, I don't know what that was about up there, but I didn't do anything to you and that was very uncalled for. I don't owe you any explanation as far as I'm concerned. I'm sorry if you feel horrible or whatever it is you are feeling, but don't take out your hostility on me when I wasn't the one asking the questions up there."

Edward looked so sad and sorry for what happen earlier, but I didn't care any more. The thought came into my mind again, I don't even know him.

He tried one last time, "Bella, please let me explain. Please!" I could hear the pleading in his voice now. He reached and touched my hand, "Please."

All it took was that one touch and I melted. The way his hand felt on my skin was amazing. It's like it woke my entire body up. I looked into his sadden eyes once more and couldn't help but allow him to explain. I squeezed his hand to let him know I was listening.

"Bella," as he looked into my eyes, "I am truly and deeply sorry for spouting out at you like that. I hope you can forgive me and accept my apology." He sat there waiting to see if I would or would not accept his apology, but I just looked deep into his eyes. "Bella, we moved in here about a month ago." He began again. "You know what apartment Em and I are in, and I've been watching you. But I didn't know it was you, Bella. I swear!"

Then it clicked, he is the guy who has been sitting on his balcony every morning drinking coffee and reading the newspaper. I had noticed new tenants and was curious as to who moved into the empty apartment, but since I wasn't very neighborly, I never went over to introduce myself. I just recall seeing someone reading something and drinking what I assumed was coffee, but nothing more. Why hadn't I put it together before?

"At first I was only checking you out from behind because you were always walking towards your car in the morning. I hadn't realized it was you yet. I made the mistake of telling Emmett that I was going to," he hesitated, "nail you. We made a bet, Bella, and I'm so so very sorry. One day Rosalie was over hanging out with Emmett, and she looked at the clock on the wall and realized you would be coming home soon. She wanted to introduce us to you. It never dawned on me that it was you." He paused a minute before continuing.

"When you pulled up, Rose called us out there onto the balcony and I seen your car pulling in. I only then realized that you were the one that I made the comment about to Emmett. Then I realized that Rosalie knew at that point and was going to give me grief about saying that about, YOU!" His head dropped down lower. "You are Alice's best friend Bella, and I had no idea who you were at first. I had never seen your face, only your body from behind. If I would have seen your face, I would have known who you were from all of Alice's pictures.

"Rosalie turned to me and said, you still going to 'Nail her?' She knew at that point of what I had said and she made me fully aware of it. Rosalie and Alice are so protective of you, Bella. I've never seen such loyalty. We all went inside before you walked up. I guess Rosalie was so angry that she went to Alice, she wanted, rather demanded that Alice talk to me and advised me to stay away from you. Emmett tried to talk to Rose and let him know that I was kidding and that it's just how we talk sometimes."

"You think it's ok to talk about a woman as a sex object," I asked him.

"As ashamed as I am to admit this, I have thought that in the past," he replied.

"Edward, you didn't even know me. Why would you say that about me or anyone in general? Do you think that women are here for your pleasure and will surrender to your charms and just fall into bed with you?" I was getting really angry, but I really wanted to understand. I wanted to know if that is who he is, or if he's the guy that stayed with me on Friday night and let me cry in his arms.

"I don't know Bella. All I know is that the girl I seen walking and the Bella I knew from Alice were not the same two people. The girl I said that about was a stranger and it's not like I was really going to do anything about it. I just liked watching you really. Emmett gave me grief and told me that I was whipped by a stranger. I wanted to prove him wrong and make it seem like I was only interested in watching you for sex. I'm so sorry Bella."

I just sat there, and listened to him. I wasn't sure if I was angry any more. I did have brothers and knew how they talked about women as well. It's a macho guy thing and I knew that. "Edward, what did Alice tell you when she found out?"

"Bella, she was even more angry than Rosalie was. I am her own brother and she ripped me to shreds. She told me to stay the hell away from you and that she couldn't remember why she thought we'd get along so well. Like I said, I have never seen anyone be so protective over you. I guess it has something to do with what you're not ready to share with us yet. I don't blame you Bella, we just met and you really don't know me well enough to trust me. Look at what I ended up doing tonight." He dropped his head down again.

I reached up and placed my hand on his cheek. He leaned into it.

"Bella, do you feel that," he asked.

I couldn't lie to him, no matter what. "Yes, Edward, I do, I thought it was in my imagination, but I guess it's not."

He rested his face on my hand and closed his eyes. "Bella, I had to beg on my hands and knees for Alice to introduce us. Alice has told me and my family so much about you and Rose that we all feel like we've known you both as long as she has." He took my hand from his face and placed it in between his hands. He then looked back up at me. "Bella, I have been in love with you for a very long time. I can't even remember when it happened. Alice made us all fall in love with you. Each of us in very different ways of course, but I am IN love with you."

I jumped up and pulled my hand out of his hand suddenly. "Edward, I don't want you to be IN love with me, you can't love me. I won't allow you to. I'm sorry, but you need to go."

A confused look came across his face, "but Bella."

"No, I'm sorry. I can't do this, not tonight, not ever. Friends yes, anything more, no!" I jumped up and started pulling him up off my bed. He finally stood up and I lead him to the door. He looked so hurt and confused, "Edward, loving me would be the death of you. I'm sorry, you can't love me." Then I pushed him out the door and slammed it shut, falling to the ground crying hysterically.

"Bella, it's me Alice, can I come in?"

I leaned up and opened the door. Alice grabbed me immediately and started comforting me. "What happened? Emmett called and said that you kicked Edward out and that he's a mess and confused and won't talk to anyone."

"He can't, I'm sorry but he can't," I choked out.

"He can't what, Bella? I'm confused. Tell me right now what happened," as her voice got stern.

"He said…he…" I began sobbing some more. Alice didn't know what was going on and I could tell she felt helpless. "He can't be in love with me!"

"WHAT? He didn't," she growled. "What was he thinking," she asked herself. "Bella, honey, you need to calm down first of all. Can you do that for me?" I shook my head to try to stop from sobbing. "Second of all, don't you think you need to tell him what is going on?"

"Alice, I can't."

"Why not Bella?" I didn't respond. "Bella, I want to ask you something and I want you to think long and hard before you answer, ok." I choked out an ok in response. "When Edward is around, how do you feel?"

I sat there thinking about that. When Edward is around, I feel whole again. I don't suffer thru the guilt or the pain of loss for Jacob. I actually even feel happy, especially when looking into his dazzling emerald green eyes. I could get lost in them forever. But why did I feel so complete, I just met him less than 48 hours prior. I don't know what I felt for him, but I did feel whole again.

"Alice, I feel whole again. But I don't want him to be in love with me. Can you understand that? I don't deserve that from him or anyone else."

"Bella, you don't see yourself the way everyone else does. Your eyes are dimmed right now, but you are an amazing and wonderful person. Anyone would be honored to be in love with you, including Edward. Yeah, maybe he shouldn't of confessed his undying love for you, but that's just who he is. And can you blame him Bella, all I ever talked about was you and Rose. He probably feels like he's known you for a lot longer," her thoughts drifting off. "Bella, you need to talk to him."

I just laid in her arms and shook my head no. "Not right now Alice, it's too much going on."

EPOV

Why is Bella so upset after I confessed that I'm in love with her? I don't understand. What had I done wrong? As she was pushing me out, I could feel my heart breaking. I understood that I cared so much more for her than her for me, but I know she felt something. It was in each of our kisses we shared and the way we gazed into each other's eyes. I had a sick feeling in the pit of my stomach and my chest felt as if there was a giant hole in it. Why, god, why?

Who is knocking on my door? "Go away, I want to be alone," I yelled.

"Edward, it's me Jasper, can I talk to you, please."

"I don't really feel like talking right now Jazz, please just go away," I hissed out.

"Listen Edward, there's things you don't know about Bella and she's fragile you know. Please let me in so we can talk. I don't know what happened, but I'm sure it will work itself out."

I exhaled loudly but then got up and opened the door for him to come in.

"Geez Edward, you look like hell and back. What happened exactly?"

"Jazz, spit out what you came here to say and then leave me alone, please," I pleaded with him.

"Tell me what happened so that I can shed some light on the situation first," he replied.

"I explained to her about the 'nailing' her thing and how I was sorry about that and then I told her I'm in love with her and she lost it. I mean she truly lost it Jasper." I could feel the tears starting to form in my eyes and I tried to blink them away.

"Oh geez, Edward, I really wish you hadn't done that." He drifted off but then snapped out of it. "Bella, well, she has had a lot of heart break. I can't go into specifics because it needs to come from her. You know I've known her since I've dated Alice so it's been many, many years. Bella, well, she takes love very seriously. She's been hurt by it over and over again and the last time a man told her that, well, it has made her into this. Again there are specifics I can't go into, but you really need to understand."

I just sat there listening to what he was saying. Did everyone think I was going to hurt Bella and break her heart? I wasn't quite sure where this conversation was going. Wait, everyone is protecting her and no one seems to care that she has ripped my heart out of my chest by treating me this way. I started to move past the hurt and could feel the rage inside me begin to form.

"Jasper, why is everyone protecting her? She's a grown woman. Yet no one seems concerned with how I am feeling right now," I spat out.

"Oh wait a minute Edward, I'm hear as your friend for you, but I am also her friend as well. And if you knew the circumstances, you would understand why we protect her so much."

"But no one lets me into this revelation as to what has happened, so what am I to think," I was clearly yelling now.

Emmett came into the room after he heard me raising my voice. "Hey Edward, you need to relax man. That girl has been thru enough in her life time…"

I cut him off before he could continue, "you know what her circumstances are?"

Emmett realized that I am the only one out of the little inner circle of Bella and realized where he just messed up. "Edward, please, don't be ridiculous, I have just been observing the way everyone protects her is all." He was back pedaling now, he knew it and I knew it.

I realized Jasper walked out of the room and was whispering on his phone. I overheard him saying, "Look Alice, everyone but Edward knows, either she tells him or one of us will. It's not fair for him to not know any longer," he paused for a few seconds, he must have been listening to Alice. "Ok, ok, Ok Alice, sheesh, he is your brother you know." Another pause, "I think Rosalie told Emmett." I could hear Alice yelling thru the phone. "Don't yell at me you need to talk to her then, but really, he has to know….Tonight or I'm going to tell him myself, understand."

I was truly surprised that Jasper stood up to my sister like that. It took guts. I admired him even more now. Then he turned towards me, "Alice is going to get her to tell you today and if she doesn't," he sighed, "I will."

"I don't want this to cause problems for you and Alice though."

"Edward, you need to know," was all he said.

Jasper then headed for the door and left. I was truly surprised that he took my side on this. But I don't understand what knowing her situation has to do with me being in love with her. I couldn't think any more. I was emotionally tired so I headed back to my room and lied on my bed.

I just laid there thinking about Bella. How in less than 48 hours, my dreams came true, I actually met the girl in person. She was no longer just my sister's best friend who I have learned about for all these years. She was now real, and I wanted her to be mine. I thought about that kiss at La Push, oh it was the best kiss I've ever had. The intensity, the fierceness, the passion, I know she felt it too. Otherwise, why would she have kissed me like that? My heart was longing to be near her again. I wanted her and I wanted her to want me back. But she doesn't want the same thing. Why? I don't understand. I get it that she just met me, but I know Alice, I know my sister has talked about Emmett and myself, so she has to know some part of me. For heavens sake, she even knows my parents. They would never say a bad thing against me. Why is Bella so hell bent on me loving her. Right then I felt my eyes finally beginning to shut.

A/N: Just want to thank you for reading so far! Not sure if you like it or not, so please leave me some feed back. Not sure how long this story will be or when it will be complete.

See you next week,

Steff