Here's the next chapter, hope you enjoy!

I don't own Twilight, SM does!

Story is not beta'd, so please excuse the errors.

Chapter 5

EPOV

I'm not quite sure how long I slept for but I did feel a bit better. The last 48 hours have been a wild ride. I got up and headed to the shower. I noticed a message on my cell phone. I picked it up to see who it was from. It was from Alice. I immediately check to see what it says.

Edward, please meet at mom and dad's house tonight at 7:30 pm for dinner. Love you Alice.

Not what I expected actually. I thought she would have said something about letting me in on Bella's little secret, but not a word. And why dinner tonight with the parents, I always felt better being around Carlisle and Esme. Plus my piano is there and I could use some musical therapy tonight anyways. I headed to the shower and got cleaned up.

I got over to my parents house around 6 pm. My mom was in the kitchen making dinner and my dad wasn't home yet from the hospital.

"Hello my wonderful mother," I said as I walked over to her.

"Oh Edward, you startled me," as I reached over to kiss her on the cheek. "Edward, are you ok?"

I knew I couldn't put anything over on her. "I've been better," I said.

"What is wrong my son," she asked. "I can see the sadness in your eyes."

I hesitated before speaking. "Well, I told Bella that I was in love with her and she sort of freaked out." I dropped my head down as I informed.

"Oh Edward, why didn't you speak to Alice before telling her?"

Wait, does my mom know what is going on with Bella as well. Am I really the last one to know…WTF I thought.

Esme must have noticed what I was thinking because she suddenly spoke, "Edward, I don't know all the details of Bella's life, but she has had some traumatic experiences and grievances in her life. Didn't you just meet her on Friday night, officially," she asked.

"Well yeah, but I feel like I've known her forever since all Alice ever talked about Bella this and Bella that. If Alice loved her that much, then you can understand why I do too."

"You're right Edward, I can understand that as well," Esme just gave me that comforting smile.

"I'm going to go play now, let me know when everyone gets here."

As I sat at the piano staring at the keys, I thought back to what Esme said about Bella and grievances she has endured. What did she mean by that, I wondered. Who would ever want to hurt sweet and loving Bella. I will protect her, no one will ever hurt her, not as long as I'm alive. Even if she didn't know it, I would protect her forever. That's how much I loved her.

BPOV

"Alice, I don't want to go to your parent's house for dinner tonight. I want to just stay curled up in my bed and never leave again," I shouted.

"Bella, you promised them you would come over tonight for dinner. You will hurt Carlisle and Esme's feelings if you don't," Alice explained.

"Is Edward going to be there?"

"Bella, we went thru this already, you know he is. You said you would tell him, please don't make Jasper do it, I don't want him to hear it from anyone other than you."

"What's the use Alice, I already hurt him. He probably hates me right now and doesn't even care about me any more," I whispered as I began to cry again.

"Bella, I know Edward, he's hurting very badly right now and he doesn't understand. Only you can comfort him. Once you explain everything to him he will understand. Please Bella, get up already. If you don't, then I'm going to have Jasper come in here and carry you out just as you are," she threatened.

I exhaled my breath and slowly crawled out of bed. I got dressed and we were on our way to have dinner with Carlisle and Esme.

It was about 7:20 pm when we arrived but I hadn't looked around to see if anyone else had arrived yet. Actually, I didn't even know what kind of car Edward drove so I couldn't tell if he was here or not. As we made our way out of the car and approached the house, I could hear someone playing a piano. Once inside, it was as if the music called to me. Alice and Jasper were in front of me and began making their way to the kitchen, so they hadn't realized that I had detoured following the beautiful music.

I found myself climbing up to the third floor of the house and standing outside the door of where the music came from. I didn't want to interrupt whoever was playing that delightful song, but I couldn't help myself. I reached out and slowly turned the doorknob gently pushing the door open. I saw the most beautiful image ever imaginable. Edward was sitting with his back to me looking out the glass wall window while his hands glided over the piano keys. He hadn't heard the door open so he was unaware of the audience behind him. I could actually see his face in the glass he was staring out of and suddenly, I realized then he can see me too. As I began to turn, the music stopped and Edward was grabbing at my hand pulling me into him. I had no self control, being in Edward's arms felt so right. I reached around him and hugged him back, thus, he tightened his arms around my waist bringing me closer to his body. He always smelled so good, sort of musky. I felt him kiss the top of my hair and take a deep breath in.

"Bella, I am so sorry, please, forgive me," Edward whispered. "I will do anything to make it up to you, I promise."

"Edward, why are you apologizing to me? You didn't do anything wrong," I replied.

"I upset you," he continued, "and you threw me out, so I must have done something wrong."

"No you didn't Edward, it was me, maybe I over reacted a little," as I pulled away from him looking up sheepishly at him. "But Edward, we do need to talk, there's some things I need to tell you and it should come from me, even though I'm sure you have heard bits and pieces from the others."

Edward looked at me and just nodded his head. Then he pulled me back into his arms to bring me as close into him as he possibly could.

"Huh, I never thought you'd find your way up here Bella," Alice exclaimed. "There is definitely a magnetic force pulling you two together." She said that looking straight into my eyes knowing that I would recall our earlier conversation of what I felt when Edward was around. "Anyways, dinner is just about ready and Esme wants us all down there now."

She turned around and made her way down to the dining room. Edward held me for a few more seconds before letting me go, but not before he lifted my chin up with his finger and gently placed a kiss on my forehead. I felt an electric current flow thru my body as his lips touched mine. It was bad enough that each time he touched me, my body felt on fire. Why did I have this reaction each time we were near one another. Could there be more to him and I then I thought. But I can't let him love me, it would end up killing him and it would just about kill me this time. I can't live thru that again.

Edward released his arms from my waist, but held on to my hand and said, "Shall we." I just smiled and let him lead the way. I wasn't sure how I was going to tell him about my past. I hadn't let anyone get close to me to know except for Alice, Rosalie, Jasper and my bosses at work. I shut down this part of me and lived in denial ever since. It was easier that way, and no one else would get hurt.

As we made our way down all three flights of stairs, Edward kept turning around and smiling at me and occasionally pulling me closer to him and kissing the top of my head. I could tell he wanted to pull me in and really kiss me, but I wasn't sure I wanted him to do that considering I was going to hurt him again. I once again thought back to Alice's words about how I felt while being with him, and I realized, I didn't hurt or feel any pain when he was here. Was it possible that Alice was right? As we finally reached the dining room table, everyone just looked at us and then looked at our hands.

Just then, I realized that I was wearing my ring again and Alice noticed too. Her eyes just about popped out of her head. I hadn't told Edward yet, and I wasn't sure if he caught a glimpse of it. I was hoping he hadn't. I thought quickly and came up with a solution. After we sit down, I'll lower my hands under the table and slip the ring off and give it to Alice to hold until later.

"Bella, it's so good to see you again," I heard Carlisle as he approached me. He leaned in to give me a hug and I placed my hands up on his arms returning the gesture. Edward was on my left side so he quickly noticed the ring on my ring finger. I could hear a growl coming from him and I realized what he just seen. I tightly shut my eyes and I quickly let go of Carlisle and turned to him. I have never seen that much anger and hurt come out of anyone, let alone Edward.

"Edward, please let me explain," as I reached for him.

"Is that not a wedding ring on your finger?" he shouted at me as he pulled away from me.

Why had I not thought about it before coming over here, I knew he would be here. I dropped my head down, "yeah," was all I could say.

"What the hell Bella, your freaking married!" his voice rising even higher. "How could you not tell me this right away?" His eyes were black and frightened me quite a bit.

"Edward, calm down and let her explain, it's not what you think," Jasper stepped between us looking at Edward. "You said you wanted to know what was going on."

I just stood there with tears now streaming down my face. "What can she possibly tell me now that I haven't figured out?"

"He left her Edward," Alice screamed at him as she embraced me. Edward's face suddenly dropped in surprise as Alice shouted the words out to him.

My heart broke all over again. The pain was even more unbearable then when Jacob was gone. "No Alice, I can't lie," I hesitated and turned around to face Edward, "I won't lie to him." My eyes looked up into Edward's hurt eyes.

"Edward, I was married, but I'm not anymore," I dropped my head as the tears flowed down my cheeks. "Jacob did leave me, but not the way you think." I paused and took a deep breath in, "he died." I fell to the ground and began sobbing uncontrollably. Alice grabbed me first, but suddenly I felt Edward's arms wrap around me. He began rocking me while rubbing my back trying to calm me down.

"It's ok, Bella. I'm sorry. I'm so very sorry," he kept repeating over and over again. I hadn't noticed that everyone but Alice had left the room.

"It's my fault that Jacob died," I choked out.

Edward looked confused at Alice who was holding my hand. "Bella, it's not your fault that he died, how can you even think that," he asked.

"But it is, if I wasn't on the phone with him he would have been paying attention at work and would have been able to move out of the way from the crane before the cable snapped. He was supposed to be watching them get ready to lift a concrete post up, but instead he was on the phone talking to me and never knew what was happening. One minute we were talking and the next minute he was gone. Everyone says it happened so suddenly and he felt no pain. I didn't know what had happened, so I hung up and called back but he didn't answer. I thought maybe we just got disconnected. I had no clue that he had been killed as I was talking to him on the phone." More tears were running down my face. "If I hadn't been on the phone with him, we would have been paying attention and would be here now. That's why it's MY fault, I wouldn't let him off the phone," I shouted out. I felt so numb again as if it just happened.

Alice interrupted, "Bella, it's not your fault. You don't know if he hadn't been on the phone that he would have been able to move out of the way in time."

Edward had been pretty quiet up to this point.

"When did this happen and who finally told you," Edward asked.

I had calmed down a little but tears were still running down my cheeks. "I didn't find out for about an hour. Jacob's best friend called me and told me that there had been an accident at work. He said that Jacob was on the phone with someone and wasn't paying attention. I knew exactly when it happened at that point. It was when he was talking to me. Once I realized what happened, the shock set in and I became hysterical. I was at work at the time and my boss came to my desk to see what was wrong. He found me on the floor in a fetal position sobbing uncontrollable. I wouldn't speak, I just cried. They didn't know what to do so they got my emergency contact card and of course Jacob was the first person on the list. Of course he didn't answer, so they called the second person, which is Alice."

Alice turned to Edward and began explaining, "When I got to her office she was catatonic. She wouldn't speak or acknowledge anyone around. I hadn't been informed of what happened yet, so I wasn't sure why she was like this. Her boss helped me get her into my car to take her home. He asked me to let him know what was going on as soon as I found anything out. I agreed. I called Jasper and told him to meet me at home which he did. Once we got Bella inside her apartment, there was a knock at the door. Jacob's best friend, Embry was there. He explained what happened and rushed over to Bella. She didn't acknowledge his presence. She was like that for a few days. I had to force her to eat, drink and shower. Edward, she was in a bad way. What none of us realized was that guilt was eating her up inside."

I just sat there reliving the worst day of my entire life. I tried to speak, but nothing came out of my mouth.

Alice continued, "There was an investigation as to what happened and they traced the call he was on. It was then that we realized Bella had been on the phone with him and must have heard everything." Alice was holding my hand and rubbing it in a soothing way. "Edward, Bella believes that she doesn't deserve to be happy any more. She still blames her self for his death. I don't think she's come to terms with it completely. I know that she feels she doesn't deserve anyone else or to ever be loved again."

"It hurts too much," was all I could muster. "That is why you can't love me Edward, I will end up getting you killed."

"That's nonsense Bella," Edward replied. "How long ago did this happen?"

Again, Alice answered for me and I really didn't mind. "Over a year and a half ago." Alice hesitated before speaking again. "I don't know if I should be saying this or not, but I'm going to anyways," she began. "Bella, you've been emotional all this time since this happened and until Friday night, we couldn't get you to have fun at all. Rose and I finally seen our best friend on Friday night and even Jasper was surprised to see you full of life again. Now maybe I'm wrong here, but I truly do believe that it has something to do with my brother here."

Edward and I both looked up at her at the same time. A huge smile appeared on his face, and a confused look must have appeared on mine.

"Just listen," she said while looking at me, "you haven't allowed yourself to feel anything other than loneliness and guilt and the other night, you were making goo goo eyes at Edward." I felt my cheeks heat up. "You even kissed him Bella, think about it. What did you tell me you felt when he was around," as she raised her eyebrow up.

I could see the surprised look on Edward's face as she stated our previous conversation. "Wait, what am I missing here," he asked.

"Do you want to tell him or should I," as she grimaced at me.

"Alice, no, do not bring that up," I hissed at her.

"Why not Bella?" still smiling at me. "You are so stubborn and you can't see what is happening. Maybe you need to step back and look at how the rest of us see it."

"Alice, I don't know what I'm feeling, I told you that."

"Did you, or did you not say that when Edward is any where around you that you feel whole again and no pain what so ever," she shot out at me. Damn little pixie knew exactly what she was doing. She was going to confess that in the first time since Jacob's death, that I actually felt something for someone else.

"Alice, I don't want to talk about this right now," I growled at her.

"Why not," Edward asked with an eyebrow raised.

I didn't know how to answer him. Alice was right, but I wasn't sure what I was feeling, I just knew that I felt complete whenever he was around. I couldn't explain it. I sat there numb now from bringing up my past. I was actually exhausted. I just wanted to go home and crawl into bed and sleep. But I knew that neither Alice nor Edward was going to allow that to happen until I faced this head on.

So what do you think so far? Please leave a review and let me know your thoughts.

Until next week,

Steff