Disclaimer: We disclaimers have a brotherhood of detachment, letting you know that the author or artist responsible for the atrocities we speak for is a bloody wanker who steals the character property of others.
Naruto Uzumaki was well aware of just how stupid his plan sounded. In order to trick people who were as anally paranoid as the two mist ninja holding him hostage, he had to be crafty and nonchalant. Unfortunately, he'd never quite mastered the two characteristics. He'd gotten close, though, and the boy could only fervently pray that it was enough.
In accordance with his scheme, Naruto picked the harmless mushrooms that looked nearly exactly identical to the drugged fungus he was carrying. It was to his advantage that the two types of organism often grew side by side. If anything, it would give him a slight excuse in the eyes of his captors. The Uzumaki knew quite well that he would be caught, after all. He had banked on it. Still, he couldn't be caught until the right time, so he arranged the mushrooms so that the less desirable ones were concealed from a casual eye.
When Haku hollered for Naruto to come back to camp, a call that the missing member of team 7 was all too happy to obey. With the mushrooms in his shirt, he caught up to the black-haired boy with a triumphant smile and showed his harvest, careful to keep the more potent of the bunch towards the bottom of the pile. Predictably, Haku gave him a polite nod and allowed him to carry the food back to camp without checking it.
Zabuza the browless had already made the pile of food for the night, and Naruto was not too surprised at all to see it was a meager pile of berries. Usually there would be a fish or two accompanying the fruit, but on this particular evening there was nothing that required an open flame to cook. Obviously, the Momochi wasn't about to make a campfire this evening, which indicated just how cautious the man currently felt he should be. At first, this made Naruto somewhat confident in himself. A brief observation of the area and gestures the older man was making, however, soon quelled his hopes of having a long time to enact his plan.
Zabuza Momochi had decided the group would leave after dinner on a trip that would take them out of the Land of Waves. The meal was to be brief, and the blonde pariah of Konoha knew he had to act quickly.
Naruto stepped over to their evening's food ration without acting more conspicuous than usual. Still, he felt the Demon of the Mist train his eyes on his orange-clad back. As per the usual, Naruto pretended he didn't notice and knelt down. Without so much as a word to Zabuza, Naruto dumped his pile of mushrooms on top of the berries, rubbing his belly and looking condescendingly at Zabuza as if he had been stupid to overlook them.
Had Zabuza possessed eyebrows, Naruto was sure that the man would have had them contorted into a dubious expression. The man didn't trust the blonde's judgement, and he was probably a little unnerved by the fact Naruto hadn't started ranting or bolting when he announced their final departure. This was nothing the jinchuriiki couldn't deal with, however.
Naruto shrugged in his captor's direction with a sigh of resignation and a grumpy crossing of the arms. "If I'm not going to be able to go home, I want us to at least be full of more than rabbit food."
Typical Naruto behavior.
Haku laughed at the expression his blue-eyed friend made, having seen it so many times before- the eyes upturned until they looked like little slips against his furrowed eyebrows. His nose didn't wrinkle, but it looked like it should have with the way the youth's lips positioned themselves in a grimace that spanned as far as they could take it.
Zauza approached the pile with a slightly amused expression. While Haku may have thought Naruto's escape attempts were over, the older man was not so incredibly sure. As an ANBU, the Momochi had been taught to note even the slightest change of behavior. The fact that the boy hadn't attempted anything all day set off all the alarms in his head.
His suspicions were confirmed when he removed a mushroom from close to the inside of the pile and rolled it in his palms, recognizing the ridges with ease. The man's sharp eyes traveled up to the foreign child with irritation and continued to move through the mushrooms, picking out the ones he recognized as hazardous to his own agenda. When the man was done, he discarded seven separate clumps of fungus, leaving only the harmless ones behind.
With gusto he had prepared, Naruto watched like he was just bewildered and hungry.
"What the HELL?" he demanded, grabbing up some of the discarded fungus in his hands," I'll eat it if you don't!" he exclaimed, bringing a clump to his mouth and swallowing it whole, causing Zabuza's suspicion to commit suicide with a short laugh at the child's ignorance.
Haku wasn't exactly sure of what was going on, but he wasn't stupid. Obviously Naruto needed to be shown more about exactly which of a forest's natural assets were actually edible. Never once did it cross the young mist shinobi's mind to question his friend's intentions. Naruto had already proved that he wouldn't intentionally hurt them by bailing them out on two separate occasions. Therefore, he was a little concerned when the blonde ingested one of the removed morsels without thought of exactly why they had been removed. Having not seen the objects he had ingested up close, he couldn't help but fear that they were toxic. The fear was not alleviated by Zabuza's laughter, which often only came at the price of someone else.
Naruto's eyes started to lose focus from his position, having just swallowed what could have very well been a horse's dosage of a foreign spore. While most drugs took a while to come into effect, Naruto had both ingested and inhaled some of the fugus, and was now teetering in his crouch with a sort of sputter while Zabuza finished his short burst of laughter.
Haku darted to the foreigner's side, if only to check if everything was alright. Zabuza followed him without any sense of urgency. Hell, this would make their move easier. People in drug-induced comas were easy to transport.
"Naruto?" Haku asked tentatively, unable to see a spark of recognition when the addressed allowed his dilated eyes to fall on him. "….Naruto?" Haku asked again, voice losing any sense of masculinity. He extended his arm in front of the Uzumaki's face when he finally fell forward. He felt a spot of drool on his sleeve where the blue-eyed boy's mouth made contact with the fabric.
"Just drop him, Haku." Zabuza instructed with gruff nonchalance. His ward instantly complied, his worry leaving as soon as Naruto's even breathing broke the silence. Nothing needed to be said; obviously the kid was just sleeping.
Zabuza beckoned Haku back over and began to partake of the remains of the pile, the berries and supposedly 'safe' mushrooms eaten without worry. What they didn't know, however, was that Naruto was still very awake and aware, having eaten the untainted mushrooms he had henged to look like their crafty counterparts, while the true drugs were altered to look safe. There was something to be said about simple plans. Sometimes they really just ROCKED.
Author's note: Sorry it took me so long to turn out such a short update, but I've had a hell of two weeks. For most of my absence, I was busy helping a few towns in Oklahoma recover from floods and twisters. Remember that town we've been hearing about in the news, Picher? Yeah, I went there. I helped a guy pull the remains of buildings and cars from his fields on the outskirts. It wasn't fun to see all these people whose lives have been destroyed, but through helping them, I feel less guilt and more understanding when I write tragedy. It really happens, and I know what it looks like.
On another note, I discovered my parents are getting a divorce, and my sister had a medical emergency. Sometimes in life, rain falls. When rain falls, it's harder to get to a keyboard and type something for the enjoyment(or in some cases frustration) of others. Over 300,000 people have hit this story, and I know some hit it loyally. I thank you; if it weren't for people like you reviewers, I would have stopped.
With your encouragement, I want you to know I will finish this epic. Updates will be frequent again as soon as I know my sister's going to pull through. Thank you for your time and attention.