Inside

Chapter Eighteen: Brothers, Sisters and Teachers

Hermione's POV

I tried to back away, but found I was already pinned up against the side of the castle. Draco stood there, face leaned in towards mine, looking at me. His eyes darted between my eyes and lips. I didn't say anything – I couldn't say anything. I was in too much shock and disgust to say anything, let alone remember how to use my feet, much less my vocal cords. My brother had called me beautiful, then kissed me. On the mouth.

"Hermione?" he asked in a barely audible voice, and then, to my horror and utter disgust, he leaned in again!

"NO!" I forced from my lungs, shoving with all of my strength against him. I was barely able to see as he tumbled backwards, nearly falling down the steps, as I turned and opened the door as quickly as I could and ran.

Run! I told myself, just keep running! I passed the open doors to the Great Hall and heard the meaningless chatter and laughter of the occupants inside, enjoying their meal and social time. I on the other hand was running – covered in smelly dried mud, nonetheless - for my sanity from my incestuous driven brother…

I heard him call my name as I pounded my way up the third flight of stairs and took off down the hall at top speed. I hardly knew were I was, and knew even less where I was going, but knew I had to get there – wherever there was – fast.

"Hermione!"

Faster…

I turned my head to see if he was coming, and at the base of my line-of-sight I could just make out his platinum blond hair bobbing up the third case of stairs I had just come from. He held his hand on the edge of the railing and looked above him, calling my name, and I felt a single moment of relief, and could almost go so far as to call it victory… until he looked in my direction and our eyes met. "Hermione!" he called, kicking himself from the stairs and pounding his way towards me. "Wait!"

In your dreams! I thought as I pushed myself further, passing a long row of polished knight's in their silver armor.

His voice was louder as he called my name a forth time, and I knew that meant either his pace was quickening or mine slowing. Either way, I knew I had to find a place to stop and hide, soon. Looking around at my bearings, I really realized I had absolutely no idea where I was, and that didn't help the fact that his voice was growing louder with each call. He was getting close, too close, and I needed to dart into one of these doors.

Choosing the closest door on my left I found myself quickly surrounded by vile upon vial upon jar of liquids, potions and essences. The room was small and dim and had nothing but shelves of the stuff; no walls to be seen. As I focused my eyes I realized where I had ended up: in Severus's private store. I had never been there before, but he had told me about it, and by description alone I was sure – positive – that is where I was. I closed my eyes and hugged my arms around myself, dropping to one of the corners on the floor and comforting myself by knowing I was in a place that was his.

I listened quietly to the sound of his passing feet, and heard him say my name again. Only this time his voice was much softer, like a question rather than a demand, and I knew that meant he knew I had stopped running. Damn! I thought, how close was he?

I heard as door after door was opened and then closed, hearing my name called each time. The doors started further away, and I hoped it would end that way and I would hear him disappear down the hall… but as I focused my ears I realized he was getting closer and closer.

I closed my eyes and bent my head forward to rest it on my knees. Maybe, I thought, if I just stay here on the floor he won't even notice me. He'll just do a quick glance around and go on to the next set of doors…

The handle to my hiding place turned, and my breath caught in my throat. I listened blindly to the sound of the door opening; he did not call my name. Hopeful, I just hugged my knees against me tighter and wished and hoped he would leave. The sound of the door closing came next, but I did not hear his feet cross away from the door. Shifting, the crinkle of clothes… he had found me.

I slowly lifted my head, opening my eyes, and saw him before me on the ground, propped up on his knees and looking over at me. A sad expression was on his face as he whispered my name, and reached a hand out to me. "I didn't mean to-"

"Kiss me?" I asked, hugging my legs tighter still.

"Scare you," he said, dropping his hand to his lap.

"You didn't," I told him.

"Then you'd you run?" he asked, trying a subtle attempt to scoot closer to me. "Why'd you ignore me when I called your name?" he asked. "And why are you in here, looking as if I tried to butcher you to death?"

"I was just kissed on the mouth by my brother," I told him bluntly. "I think anyone in my position would have done the same. Well," I added. "That or hex you, but, seeing as you're my brother and I still care about you, chose the first and less unpleasant of the two."

He took a moment and looked down at his lap. "One might argue that," he told me softly. "Having you run away from me like that was just as bad, if not worse than being hexed. At least if you'd hexed me it would have been you doing it."

"Draco," I began, dropping my arms from my legs and letting them fall to the side. "I'm your sister, your-"

"I love you," he cut me off. "I love you, I'm sorry… I know I shouldn't, but I do.

"You're all I think about, you're all I dream about when I am able to sleep. To be in the same room as you, to be next to you and not be able to touch you, or hold you, or kiss you… I can't even explain what kind of pain that is."

"Draco, stop," I begged him. "Please… I can't hear this."

"But you have to," he told me, raising his voice a bit and appearing at the base of my feet. He took my face into his hands and looked me deep in the eyes. "I love you, Hermione. I love you more than the stars – I love you to the moon and back again. I love you to-"

"Stop!" I shouted, escaping his grasp. "Draco, I'm your sister. You're my brother. We've the same blood; the same Mother."

"I don't care," he shook his head. "Hermione, I don't care. It doesn't matter to me, I mean honestly, not that many people know, and the one's who do know won't ever have to know about us-"

"There is no us," I stopped him. "Draco, there is no us. Not in the way you are asking there be. I am your sister, and you are my brother. The only us there is is that of siblings, nothing more. And saying it doesn't matter… No, it really kind of does, Draco. We are related!

"What you are asking, what you are saying, it can never be! It never could be, and I would never want it to be! I love you, Draco, but as my brother, and nothing more. A friend, a companion… a shoulder to cry on once in a while… But nothing more.

"Draco," I said, sitting up straight. "Draco, listen to me: what you are feeling, it is not real; it is not right.

"You grew up an only child with nothing more than a big empty mansion, two parents and some servants. That's the life you've always had; the life you always known. And now you are presented with the fact that it is not as it has been, but that you have a sister, a new addition to the family. A newer, different sense of fulfillment in your life; your family.

"I don't doubt you love me Draco, in fact I know you do – but as your sister, not as this, as a lover as you are so describing! I am someone new who has never been there before… I have heard of it before, it is a disease, Draco. As much as it isn't talked about it is not uncommon to be heard of, in half siblings. Siblings such as ourselves.

"They go their whole life not knowing they exist, and then, one day they meet and its like oh, there you are… But it isn't right, Draco. That feeling you get when you are with me, it is fulfillment in family, and love of family, not in lust or attraction or desire! Draco!" I added as he stood up and looked down at me. "Draco, please, listen to reason, listen to-"

"So you don't believe me, then," he nodded, looking around at the vials surrounding us. "You think I'm just sick and need some stern talking to and reasoning, is that it, then?"

"Yes, Draco," I breathed, "Yes, that is exactly what I am saying. Just hear what you are saying, look at me, your sister, and tell me what you are saying is normal."

Taking a vial into his hand he began pulling the cork out.

"Draco, what are you-"

"Truth potion," he cut me off. "If it's what it takes to make you believe me. I am not sick, Hermione. I do not have a disease, and I do not need to listen to reason.

"I am in love with you, Hermione, and no amount of talking or reasoning is going to change that." Before I had a chance to stand and take the vial from him, he had downed the entire thing. "Go on then," he said, dropping the vial to the ground and shattering it. "Ask me anything, Darling."

"Don't call me that," I told him, looking up at him. "I'm your sister…"

"That you are," he nodded, the overdose of the potion clearly already kicked in. "And beautiful at that. Smart, intelligent, breathtaking, witty, sexy," his hand was stroking the side of my face, and I slapped it away and backed up.

"Stop that!" I told him, burrowing myself into the corner again. I stood with my face towards the potions and gripped tightly onto the edge of one of the shelves and closed my eyes.

"I love you," he told me, and I felt his body press against mine. He wrapped his hands around my shoulders and I shuddered, and threw up a bit in my mouth. "This…" he said, leaning his forehead against the back of my head and inhaling a deep breath. "This is all I've ever wanted; to be able to hold you like this, to-"

"Get off!" I demanded and shoved my back against him. I turned around to face him and crossed my arms over my chest – it was all I could do stop myself slapping him. "You're not allowed to touch me!" I told him. "You're not allowed to say you love me in anymore of a way than a brother to a sister – there is only one person who is allowed to think the things about me you're saying, and you are not him! You could never be him, ever! You're my brother, Draco! I am your SISTER!"

"Him?" he choked. "You mean, you're…?"

"Yes!" I shouted at him. "Yes, Draco, I am in love with someone! And he is not you! He could never be you! You are my brother, my blood and family and kin and relative! You're not allowed to say you love me. You're not allowed to call me beautiful or kiss me or touch me or think whatever it is you think about me which I would like to go to the grave not knowing!

"Draco, you must stop this madness!" I demanded, pounding the sides of my fists against his chest. "Draco, we have the same Mum!"

"But not the same Dad," he pointed out. "Meaning, we're only half related, half blood, and therefore only half as inclined to call each other siblings."

"But we are," I told him. "Draco, half or not, it's still there. And, half or not, even if you weren't my brother – which you are, Draco – I could never be with you because one you hated me and wished me dead before you knew we were related, and two, because I am already in love with someone else."

"I don't believe that," he told me. "You can keep saying it, but where is the mystery man, Hermione? As far as I can tell you're still as single as ever.

"You're single, Hermione," He said, stepping closer towards me. "You're single, I'm single… Don't you understand how easy it would be for us to be together? There are only a handful of people who know, and we both know who they are, it would be so easy, Hermione! We could be together and only have to act like we weren't around the people who know we're related!"

"But we know, Draco," I told him. "Draco, please… don't make me say it…"

"Say what?" he wondered.

"Draco… I'm not."

"Not…?"

"Not single…"

"Yes you are," he said, so self-assured. "You are single, Hermione. Just like me."

"Draco-" he cut me off, placing his finger across my lips.

"You can lie to yourself all you want, Hermione, but I know the truth just as well as you – and I can't lie!" he laughed. "Hermione, I've never seen you kiss anyone. I've never seen you hold someone's hand or swoon over anyone. I've never seen you snogging or anything two people do when they're in love.

"The only person I know who's hand you've held is mine. The only person who I've seen hold you is me. The only person who I've known to kiss you is me. It is me, Hermione, I am the one you are talking about – I have to be! There is no one else!

"And you can't claw yourself out of this one claiming it is Weasley, either, I have seen him and that Lavender girl – I think that's her name – around, and if you ask me, or anyone for that matter, those two are just about as in love with each other as I am you." Ron and Lavender, hm, I wonder why he hadn't told me? The thought of Ron finding someone put a smile on my face, and I realized my mistake as Draco looked down at me, smiling with equal happiness. He went to brush his hand over my hair, but I dodged it.

"You can fight this all you want, Hermione," he told me. "I tried to, but in the end just let my feelings win. Eventually you will too."

"You're my brother, Draco, and I will never see you as anything more or less than that. And as my brother I trust you to keep all of my secrets close to your heart, and not betray me."

"Never," he told me, shaking his head enthusiastically. "I could never betray you, Hermione… I would never – could never hurt you like that."

"Good," I said, looking up at him. "Then you won't tell anyone about Severus and I."

"Sever-" he thought, "Snape!?"

My look was answer enough.

"That is, that is… whoa," he was laughing. "That is rich! You've spent all this time trying to convince me loving you is wrong, when all along you've been in heat over a teacher!? Talk about wrong…"

"It isn't!" I told him. "Draco, he isn't related to me!"

"But he is your teacher, Hermione! He is older than us! What life do you think you can have with him? You'll still be young and beautiful and he'll be mistaken for your grandfather!"

"I don't care," I told him.

"Hermione, you spent all this time trying to tell me my loving you is wrong. What I have, what I am… I can give you so much more than him! I am what is right for you, Hermione! I can give you happiness, and love, and protection! I can give you a lifetime of happiness and love, he'll be lucky to give you half!

"Hermione, please," he begged, taking another step towards me and taking my hands into his, "give me a chance to show you how much I love you. Give me a change to prove to you that I can be so much more than a brother; I can make you forget we are even related if you just let me. Let me love you, Hermione, let me give you what I want to give you – let me give you my love."

"And I want you to, Draco," I told him, nodding. "But as a brother, and nothing more…"

"I love you," he whispered, stepping into me. I tried to back away, but found, like before, I was already pressed firmly against my back on the shelves. "I love you, Hermione… I love you, I love you, I love you more than I an possibly explain. More than you can possibly imagine, I can give you things you never could have even imagined – I can give you things Severus would never even think of, never even imagine.

"We are the same age, Hermione," he told me, leaning into me. "We can grow old together, in time with each other. We can live a life of happiness and contentment and pure and utter bliss, only pretending we are siblings when the people who know are around."

"It would be pretending Draco," I told him, looking up at his closely approaching face. "We are siblings, Draco. We are related… and what you are saying… It can't possibly be, because everything you are describing Severus has already given to me. He makes me happy, he makes me feel loved, and safe, and protected, and wanted. He makes me feel like I am the luckiest girl in the world by giving me everything I need; all I need is love. I don't need anything other than that… All I need – all I want – is him, Draco. It's him, only him…"

"Hermione," his voice was hoarse, "please," he begged. "Please, let me show you…" he leaned his lips into mine, and I turned my head way quickly. "Please," he went on, and I felt his lips kiss along my temple and jaw bone.

"No!" I shouted, shoving him away from me. He crashed backwards into the shelves across from me and fell in a heap to the ground. There, he started sobbing. His shoulder shaking and head drooped towards the ground, he sobbed on and on.

"I'm sorry," he cried. "Hermione, I'm so sorry… I know it's not right, what I feel. But I can't help it," he told me, looking up at me with tears running down his cheeks. "I have tried, I have tried to stop, but I can't. I just can't…

"It's you, Hermione, you… you're the one I want, you're the only one I have ever felt this strongly about. You're the only one I have thought about kissing the way I do, holding, touching… I want you, Hermione… I want you more than I have ever wanted anyone or anything in all my life.

"So please… please…" he cried, sniffing his nose and looking over at me. "Please, I know we can never be together," his voice cracked. "But please… just this once… let me hold you… please…"

"Draco-"

"You said yourself siblings are there for each other; to cry on each others shoulders, to be friends…"

"Yes, I did…" I nodded.

"So… please… in case you haven't noticed I am kind of loosing my shit over here." I laughed softly, I had never heard him talk like that before. "Please Hermione… it's all I ask. I won't try to kiss you again, I promise."

"Draco, I don't think that-"

"Please, Hermione," he went on. "As your brother I am asking for comfort… please, Hermione… Please… I need you… as your brother… I need my sister, I need to hold her and have her hold me as I cry my eyes out like a baby. Please."

Slowly, reluctantly, I dropped down to my knees and crawled over to him. He looked at me as I reached him, and he opened his arms to me. I looked at him, and saw him as he was asking me to: as a brother in need of his sister's love, and went into his arms.

"Shh," I told him as I stroked the back of his head and held him against me. His warm tears soaked my neck and collar. "It's alright, Draco," I whispered as he sobbed, holding me tighter and tighter against him. "It's alright… It'll be fine, we'll get through this together… shh… shh…"

"I'm so stupid!" he cried.

"Shh! Shh… You're not, Draco, you're not… I'm here, and I'm not going anywhere until you're alright… I promise."

"In that case I hope you didn't have any plans for the rest of your life," He sobbed, hugging me closer still.

"It doesn't matter," I told him, stroking his back. "You're my brother, my family, your more important than any of that."

"I love you," he sobbed. The sound of his voice told me how he meant it; that he was fighting to mean as my brother.

"I love you too, Draco," I told him as his sister, holding him close. "I love you too…"

"Please forgive me for what I did," he begged me. "I am so so sorry, Hermione! I am so sorry for being in love with you, Hermione! I am so sorry!"

"I do, Draco," I told him honestly. "I do forgive you." I knew my words were true, and I knew his words were genuine. I knew what he was saying was true; he couldn't lie. No matter how long it took, I would help him get through this, and over me and onto a girl who would be lucky enough to call herself my brother's girlfriend. "We'll get through this, okay?"

He nodded his head through his sobbing. "Okay," he cried. "Okay… Okay…"

I looked down to see I was still filthy and covered in mud as I stood outside Severus's door. "I don't even care," I sighed, defeated with what events the night had presented. I lifted my hand to knock but before my knuckles were able to make contact with the wood the door was thrust open and Severus was looking down at me. I smiled and threw myself against him, squeezing him against me as hard as I could.

"I see I was not the only one missing someone," he said as he cupped his hand on the back of my head and hugged me. "But, Darling," he added, pushing me gently away from him. "Why are you covered in dried mud?"

"Vengeance Stone," I told him. "It took hours, but, eventually I found the thing. Only took about eight hours." I told him, all proud of myself.

He smiled down at me and brought his lips to mine. "You always were top in your class," he said, looking down at me and hovering his just out of reach.

"Like that'll ever change," I said back, and lifted myself to my tip toes to kiss him. I let out a complaint as he raised himself with me, moving his lips further away. I raised myself further still, and he dodged me again. "Why-" he placed his finger over my lips to silence me as he looked down at me with an amused, loving look on his face.

He ran his hand over my cheek and head, brushing my hair softly with his fingers. He grabbed my hand and pulled me into his classroom, and I followed him up to his office and through the door which led to his Private Rooms. A place, until now, which I had never been.

"Sever-" he placed his finger over my lips and looked down at me. "What are you?-"

"Shh," he told me softly, and I watched as he walked around me and placed his hands on to my shoulders. Chills ran down my spine as he slid my robe away from my shoulders and dropped it to the floor in a dusty, dirty heap. I went to say his name again, but was silenced myself as I felt his lips against the nook of my neck. He kissed me softly, tenderly. I was trembling as he ran his hands to my front and laced his fingers with mine, keeping his lips pressed softy against my neck.

"I love you," he whispered as he gently pulled his hands away from mine.

"I love you," I whispered with my eyes closed. I opened them for a moment to look back at him, and found he was looking down at me, a tender expression in his eyes. "Severus…" I turned my head back to kiss him, reaching my hand back and cupping his neck into my hand.

He reached his hands down my sides and took the base of my shirt into his hands, pulling it up and over my head.

TBC