Author's note: Season five was shot like back in 1998, but I took my author's liberty and jumped forward time in about ten years. I hope you guys don't mind the time setting, but if this story was set in 1998 some of the jokes wouldn't make sense!

Also, it's been like forever since I post the last chapter, the reason for the delay is that I've been busy writing something else. I got this idea and wrote it down, thought I should share, even if nobody reads it. Don't hold your breath for any further chapters, ok? This is not really a new story, it's an insight into Rachel's mind.

Oh, and thanks for all the kind reviews!

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The One When Janice was on TV

Rachel was stumping up the stairs as if the steps deserved to be punished for all the bad things that ever happened in her life. She was dragging along her luggage that with each new step up the stairs it banged loudly through the hallways. She was back at home, and what a waste of time and money had it been. She'd gone to London in a rush of feelings, than she'd gone to Greece, also in a rush of feelings. That was it! She was never again going to listen to her heart. It seemed to lack good sense.

She arrived at her floor but stood in the hallway for a moment. She had acted so stupid in the past few days, that she was ashamed to go inside. She listened to their conversation for a moment, she wasn't able to make out much of what they were saying, but one thing was for sure, Ross was there.

"Just do it quickly like a band-aid!" She told herself with her hand on the knob. She stepped inside getting everybody's attention, she couldn't just ignore them, now, could she? "Hi!" She greeted and heard them all greeting her back.

"Rach, Rach, I am so sorry. I am so-so sorry." Ross begun, she really didn't want to do this right now.

"Oh Ross, come on! You just did what you had to do." She tried to fake a smile, but it was so hard.

"That's it? You're not mad? I mean, it must've been terrible." Rachel almost laughed hysterically at this, but managed to stay calm.

"Terrible? Hell, I was in Greece! That was a nice hotel! Nice beach, met the nice people. Not too shabby for Rachel." She went into her room to put her luggage away and take some calming breaths.

"So, what? That's it?" Ross asked confused, knowing Rachel he'd expected something more dramatic than this.

"Well, yeah! We're cool. Totally cool." She said holding her breath.

"Oh, thanks. Oh, you're the best." He hugged her and she had to stop herself from hurting him really bad, because now she felt like stabbing his back right then and there.

"Oh no, you're the best." She lied, right now, he was the worst! Ross broke apart from her.

"Ohh, I gotta go to the flower store!" He ran to the door, "check it out, no one will tell me where Emily is, so I'm gonna send 72 long-stem, red roses to Emily's parent's house, one for each day that I've known and loved her. That oughta get her talking to me again." Rachel seriously thought she was going to be sick.

"Oh, Ross, when you make out card; be sure to make it out to, EM-I-LY." Chandler joked, 'thank you Chandler,' Rachel wanted to say, but bit her tongue instead. Ross banged his fists together before leaving.

"Rach, that's great! It's so good that you had a good time in Greece!" Monica said cheerfully

"What?! I didn't have a good time in Greece! Ross abandoned me! Okay, I couldn't get a plane out, so I had to stay in their honeymoon suite with people coming up to me all the time going, 'Oh, Mrs. Geller, why are you crying?'" She emphasized the accent is a mocking manner. "I mean, it was sooo humiliating. I felt like such an idiot! I mean, it's all my fault! And you know why? Because I make very bad decisions." Rachel finished lashing out and she felt so much better, she made bad decisions, well, that was the understatement of the year.

"Oh that's not true." Chandler tried to help

"Yes it is! It is true! I went, I went after Ross in stupid London." She still couldn't believe how stupid she's acted.

"London is stupid! Stupid!" Phoebe agreed

"Phoebe, you were right. I should've never gone to London, and from now on you make all of my decisions for me." She should've listened to Phoebe in the first place.

"Oh… No, I did that for someone once and I'm not comfortable having that kind of power and control over someone's life."

"I'll do it!" Monica stepped in

"That's fine. So Monica, you are now in control of my love life." Rachel sealed the deal

Oh, why had she agreed to Monica that she's be in control of her love life? She should have known better, she was Neurotic Monica after all. First at Central Perk, when Rachel needed to talk about her feelings to see if she could sort them out, Monica had a fit because she wasn't holding the pictures by the edges.

Then Monica wanted to set her up with someone, she even suggested Gunther. Gunther, really?! But then there was Dave, and she could exactly say not to that, could she?

So the date wasn't that bad, and she really liked him. She even forgot about the whole thing with Ross for a little while. That is until she opened the door and found crying puppy eyed Ross sitting dejectedly holding a box of 72 long-stemmed red roses, one for each day that he's known and loved Emily, cut up into mulch.

She couldn't go on like this, she loved this sweet caring man and she hated Emily for being so cruel to him, if she didn't want to marry him she had had a very good excuse to refuse to marry him in the first place. Why torture him with a little glimmer of hope and agree to go on to just run out the window afterwards?

But Monica wasn't going to let her just do it, would she? No there she was talking about swing dance lessons.

"Monica's right, swing dancing can be tricky." Ross agreed with Monica, the poor thing was so innocent he had no idea they were talking in code. "I'm gonna use the phone. I gotta cancel those five giant teddy bears I sent to Emily." He looks at the rose mulch. "My God, think of the massacre!"

Rachel's heart filled up with warmth and a little bit of jealousy, teddy bears, he was the sweetest thing, she loved him, she was going to do this.

"I'm gonna do it," she told Monica matter-of-factly.

"All right, Rachel, I know-I know you think I'm crazy, please, before you tell him you love him, just-just try to find one person who thinks this is a good idea. Because I bet you, you can't."

"But I…"

"Please!" Monica begged and Rachel couldn't fight the part of her who wanted to give Monica some credit.

"All right, fine."

Rachel was quiet for a moment as millions of thoughts crossed her head, but she could hardly concentrate as Joey banged at the door and then Chandler stormed in mumbling to himself with Joe at his toe.

"You guys gotta see this." He said picking up the remote control, "Janice is on the TV!"

As he turned on the TV the sound of Back to Black filled up the room.

"Chandler that's not Janice that's Amy Winehouse!"

Joe and Chandler looked at the TV with confusion while Ross hung up the phone and suggested that they came up with a plan to cheer up Phoebe because she didn't get to go to London.

Later that day, after everybody left Monica had just finished doing the dishes when she found Rachel sitting in the living room couch, her feet on the coffee table, staring into space. Monica set beside her she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair, she knew that helped to calm her down.

Rachel let out a breath acknowledging Monica's touch and smiling at her.

"I can't believe I spent the whole afternoon comforting my brother and now I have to do the same to you."

"I'm sorry if my misery tires you." Rachel joked a little crossing her arms in her chest in a clear protective manner since she knew Monica was ready to talk her ears off.

"I know you love my brother Rach, and I know he loves you, but with the two of you it's just so damn complicated. Why?" Rachel shrugged "And why ,oh, why do I always have to pick up the pieces of your failed relationship?"

"What are you saying, Monica?" She asked defensively

"Oh, God, I love Rachel, but she is out of my league." Monica impersonated her brother, then she started in a more feminine voice, "oh, I'm SOOOOOOOO in love with Ross while he is going out with Julie."

Rachel giggled feeling better already, "I SO do not speak like that!"

"Oh, you SO do!" They both laughed together. "Now seriously Rach, I don't want you to tell Ross you love him."

"But I think this time it'll work out."

"He is married Rachel, and he wants to make it work. And once you realize that you'll try to move on while Ross still thinks you're in love with him. And then he'll be in love with you while you're going out with another guy."

"Ok, I get the picture, can we please talk about something else?"

"About what?"

"About how strange Chandler has been acting, what's up with all the kissing?"

Monica giggled nervously.

That night Rachel couldn't stop thinking about Ross, she woke up shaking with anxiety, she really wanted to go with Monica's way, but this was killing her. She needed to take a long calming bath before going to work and maybe put on a good smelling body moisturizer, but hers had just finished.

"Hey, Mon, do you have a body moisturizer?" Rachel asked as Monica prepared breakfast.

"No!" Monica lied, there was no way Rachel was going to get near her cosmetics and leave the bottles all moist. "Maybe Chandler has some."

"Yeah," Rachel said before crossing the hall as she opened the door Chandler was sitting on the kitchen counter, he closed the lid of his laptop and stared at her with a guilty face. "Were you looking at porn?" Rachel asked

"N-no!" He stuttered

"Yes you were," Rachel rushed to the laptop opening the lid. "Winehouse back in rehab, yes, yes, yes," she read, "man, you really are obsessed with this, aren't you?"

"Well, they do look alike, don't they?" He asked her seriously, "what if it was… her? I mean, it could be her. If she wanted to remain anonymous, she'd take on another name. And that nasal voice Janice has could be from inhaling crack." He stopped to think about his theory.

"What are you saying? Would you come back from Yemen if she was?"

Rachel just shook her head negatively.