"So when are we having the bridal shower?" Chichi asked one afternoon. All the ladies had gathered around the large dining table to assemble programs for the wedding.

"We're going to have it the same night as the bachelorette party," Sabriena answered.

Lindsey choked on her soda. "Bachelorette party?"

"Uh, duh," Sabriena answered, threading ribbon through the top of the program.

"What, exactly, do you have planned?" she asked.

"'Tis a surprise, love," crooned Sophie, carefully layering one page over another.

"But what about us?" Bulma protested. "We wanted to come to the shower!"

"Who said you aren't invited?" Sabriena countered.

"You're inviting us to the bachelorette party?" Chichi asked in surprise.

"Well sure," Sabriena answered.

Lindsey's eyes looked like they were going to pop out of her head.

"So, when is it?" Eighteen asked.

"Tonight," Sabriena stated simply.

"Were you going to tell me about this?" Lindsey shrieked.

"No," Sophie answered. "We were gonna stuff you in the trunk of a cah, drive yo happy arse to a hotel and make you party all nigh' as a surprise."

Lindsey blinked at her. "I'd like to think you're joking, but something tells me you're being serious."

"As a heart attack."

Lindsey rolled her head towards Catie. "Did you know about this?"

Catie tried to hide behind a piece of brightly lit paper.

"CATIE!"

"I was sworn to secrecy!" she squeaked.

"Just wait," Sabriena giggled. "Just wait until Gohan gets kidnapped to go on his bachelor party tonight, too."

The expression on Lindsey's face was unreadable. "Does everybody know about this?"

"Everyone but Gohan now," Jenny answered.

Lindsey covered her face with her hands and dropped her head to the table with a groan.

"Hey, you," Xander said, sticking his head in the door of Lindsey's bedroom.

Gohan looked up from the computer. "Huh?"

"Come here," Xander said. "I need you to help me with something."

"Uh, okay," Gohan said, getting to his feet and walking out into the hallway. "Where'd you go?"

"Over here!" Xander said, waving from the end of the hall.

Gohan followed Xander, who stayed a good length ahead of him, leading the way to the garage. Once he entered the darkened garage, a blindfold was wrapped over his eyes, and two sets of hands lifted him sideways, carrying him across the room.

"Hey, let go!" Gohan shouted, struggling to fight off the two extremely strong men who carried him like a piece of luggage. He felt icy cold air flow over him as the door to the garage opened, then he was lifted higher and sat in a leathery seat. The blindfold was ripped from his eyes and he blinked at the sudden light.

"Surprise!" Kolya yelled.

"What? What's going on?" Gohan stammered, looking around the interior of a stretch hummer limo.

"Is your bachelor party," Kolya grinned.

"My what?!" Gohan gasped. "I didn't want a bachelor party!"

"Yeah, well, we did," Seventeen said, sliding into the seat next to Gohan.

Trunks was on his other side. "C'mon, man, it'll be fun."

Gohan realized then who it had been that carried him out to the car. "You two."

Trunks looked sheepish at being scolded by his friend, while Seventeen lounged in the seat, swigging directly from a bottle of champagne.

"What's the matter, Gohan?" came a gruff voice and Gohan jumped when he realized Vegeta was in the car. "Scared of a little entertainment?"

"Depends on the entertainment, I guess," Gohan chuckled nervously.

"Too late to back out now," Xander smirked as the vehicle gave a lurch and rolled smoothly down the drive.

"You guys didn't have to do this," Lindsey smiled as she began to unwrap the gifts her friends had presented to her.

"Okay, now the rule is you HAVE to hold up everything that's in the gift so we can all see it!" Sabriena demanded. "No matter what."

Lindsey swallowed. "Okay." She glanced nervously at the gifts. "I think I'm gonna start with Chichi's. It should be safe." It was a small box with a pretty white ribbon tied on top. Lindsey slid the ribbon off and opened the box. "Oh my god. Chichi…"

Chichi smiled. "I wore those at my wedding. I thought you would like to have them."

Lindsey held up the beautiful pearl earrings. "Absolutely. Thank you, Chichi."

Chichi smiled and sipped her champagne flute.

"Me next! Me next!" Bulma cried, shaking another small package at Lindsey.

She opened it to reveal a beautiful, vibrant pink garter trimmed in black lace.

"It's the tossing garter," Bulma said. "For the reception, you know."

Lindsey picked up a large, but lightweight package from Yelena. "Is this one safe?"

Yelena shrugged.

Taking a deep breath, Lindsey opened the package and peeled back the tissue paper inside. "Oh god." Hooking her fingers under the straps, she lifted a frilly white, rather racy nightie from the box.

"That's more for Gohan than you," Yelena said with a slight smile.

"Oh goodness!" Chichi cried, burying her face in her hands.

"Thanks, Yelena," Lindsey said with a nervous giggle and quickly stuffed it back in the box.

"Oh, there's more," Yelena grinned, the expression making her look very out of character.

Lindsey reached for another package, addressed from Catie. "What on earth…" The box held massage oils and scented candles.

Catie smiled. "You love it and you know it."

"Thanks, Cat."

"Mine! Mine!" Sabriena cried.

"Oh lord, give me strength," Lindsey sighed, ripping open the box from Sabriena. Her eyes went wide once she got a look at the contents. "Really, Sabriena? REALLY?"

"What is it?" Bulma asked.

Lindsey began to pull items from the box. There was chocolate body frosting, edible panties, a candy bra, and….

"Buzzzzzzzzzzzz," Sabriena said.

Lindsey's face went as red as her hair, the other girls laughed, and Chichi said, "OH MY!" and polished off her glass of champagne, reaching for another one.

"You can thank me when you get back from your Honeymoon," Sabriena smiled as Lindsey quickly stashed the items back in the package. "Oh, and here," Sabriena said, digging in her purse. She tossed something to Lindsey, who caught it and went even redder. "Don't forget the batteries."

"A strip club?!" Gohan cried when the hummer crawled to a stop.

"Gentlemen's lounge," Memphis corrected him as he opened the door.

The men piled out of the car and Vegeta smiled appreciatively at the building. "It's about time we did something fun."

Yorgi clapped Vegeta on the shoulder. "Best establishment in the entire state," he said.

"You frequent this place often?" Vegeta asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"I own it," Yorgi answered. "Come, my friend." And he led the way.

"Dude, you OWN a strip club?" Seventeen asked in awe.

"I own several, among other things," Yorgi answered as Kolya grinned widely, skipping to his brother's side.

Yorgi entered the front door, greeted by the bouncers and the group was quickly ushered to VIP seats. Kolya roared with glee and pulled a pretty waitress into his lap, who smiled at him and kissed his face. She obviously knew him and began jabbering away rapidly in Russian. Viktor stopped at the bar, leaning over it and speaking to the girls working there.

"Hey boys," a petite latino girl purred, leaning over the group. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

The men ordered drinks and a dancer approached. "Lap dance, anyone?" she smiled, sweetly. She was tall and slender, with dyed blonde hair and wore a ridiculously short skirt. Yorgi opened his arms to her and she smiled (obviously seeing a big payday, dancing for the boss) and straddled his lap, shimmying her chest in his face.

"I can't do this," Gohan muttered weakly, sitting in the front row of the main stage. "My dad is here, for christ's sake!"

Goku laughed. "It's just a bit of fun, Gohan. It can't be that bad."

Goku's naivety was showing again. Loud, raunchy music queued up over the speakers as a slender, curvy woman with long, black hair gyrated on stage. She wrapped her long legs around the pole, spinning and sliding down it, coming to a stop on the floor, her legs in the splits. She rolled to her knees, tossing her hair about.

"Oh, wow," Trunks breathed.

"Nice," Yamcha grinned, sitting next to Trunks.

The woman's top came off and she tossed it into the crowd, where it landed in Krillin's lap. His face went completely red and he stammered, "I don't know about this, guys. My wife is gonna kill me!"

Yorgi stopped a waitress and whispered something to her, she nodded and made her way through the crowd, carefully balancing her tray on one hand.

When the song ended, two new dancers appeared on stage.

"We hear there's a bachelor party here tonight!" the shorter of the two blondes stated loudly.

"Oh god, no," Gohan groaned. "Please, no."

"Who's the lucky fella?" the taller one asked.

"Right here!" Kolya yelled, pointing at Gohan.

"Kolya, I'm gonna kill you!" Gohan shouted.

Kolya threw his head back and laughed.

"Well, come on, big boy," the taller girl said, reaching down for Gohan's hand.

"You want me to get on stage?" he asked in horror.

"That's right," she purred, taking his hand and pulling him to his feet.

Reluctantly, and only at the other men's prompting, Gohan shakily got on stage and sat in a chair that had been set on there. The music blared again as the girls began to dance, their scantily clad bodies on either side of Gohan, his face burning red.

"Yeah Gohan!" Seventeen shouted above the music.

'Let me die,' Gohan thought as one of the girls slid a ridiculously tall high heeled shoe between his legs, dangerously close to stepping on him, and stood on the seat of the chair. 'Let me die now.'

Lindsey could have died of embarrassment. Opened packages littered the hotel room, baring sexy bustiers, oils, lotions, handcuffs, edible frostings, slutty costumes, and a leather contraption that Lindsey was too frightened to ever even consider showing to Gohan.

"You should try that," Yelena insisted.

"What is it?" Bulma asked.

"A swing. For the bedroom," Yelena answered.

"Where do you get one of those?" Bulma asked.

"BULMA!" Chichi cried, her eyes rather unfocused.

"What? I'm just asking!"

"I always knew you were a freak," Chichi muttered, sipping her fifth flute of champagne.

"Don't be jealous," Bulma smirked. "Just because you're probably too prude to do anything but missionary."

Chichi scoffed. "You have no idea what goes on in my bedroom!"

Lindsey, Catie and Jenny were looking horrified.

"I can be quite creative in bed, thank you very much," Chichi huffed.

"Sticking a leg in the air isn't creative, you know," Bulma countered.

Lindsey was feeling light-headed. 'I don't wanna hear this. I don't wanna hear this,' she thought.

Bulma and Chichi had had their fair share of squabbles over the years, but nothing like this.

"I'll have you know, I keep my husband very satisfied!" Chichi shouted.

"How do you keep up with a man like tha'?" Sophie asked without thinking.

Everyone turned and blinked at her.

Her face suddenly burned red. "I just mean… well…"

Chichi waved a hand dismissively. "I know what you mean. It's not easy fulfilling your womanly duties to a powerful man like my Goku."

"Womanly duties?" Catie mouthed to Leelee, who collapsed in giggles on the floor.

"Now, now, girls," Chichi continued. "It's no laughing matter. I know none of you are married yet, but you'll quickly learn how important it is once you're married."

"I think Jenny already figured it out," Sabriena snickered.

"Yes, well, some of us do tend to buy the cart before the horse," Chichi said. She blinked a couple times and slicked a few loose pieces of hair out of her face. The champagne was really kicking in. "I, of course, waited until my wedding night." She sighed. "Oh how magical it was."

"Oh god," Catie muttered.

"Now, don't you be nervous, Lindsey," Chichi continued as if she hadn't heard Catie. "I know it's nerve-wracking for your first time, but it's perfectly natural."

Lindsey buried her face in her hands.

"Just remember that Gohan loves you. Just relax and you'll be fine the first time you… uh… you…"

"If you say 'make whoopie' I will backhand you," Bulma warned.

Gohan sat miserably in his seat, his face burning red, wishing for the night to end. Kolya sat next to him, a girl wearing nothing but a thong and her heels grinding in his lap.

"Give me that," Gohan snapped, grabbing Kolya's vodka and swallowing it down.

"Come on, Gohan, this is a blast," Yamcha grinned, sliding a dollar into the g-string of a girl on stage.

Seventeen threw back a shot and slammed the empty glass on the table, spilling Trunks' drink.

"Dammit, Seventeen," Trunks growled.

The dancer on stage was so focused on Yamcha that she didn't notice the liquid all over the table. She seductively stepped onto it, her eyes focused on him, and her heel slid out from under her. In the blink of an eye, she fell into Gohan's lap, flipping his chair over and landing on top of him, her bare chest covering his face.

"That's the spirit!" Kolya yelled drunkenly.

Yamcha and Trunks scrambled to their feet to pull the dancer off of Gohan as he lay there, frozen in shock and embarrassment.

"I'm so sorry!" the girl apologized.

"You okay?" Trunks asked her.

"Yeah… yeah, I think so," she answered shakily.

Gohan pushed himself to a sitting position on the floor, glowering up at Kolya, who yelled, "Now THIS is a party!"

The ladies arrived back at the warehouse at about four-thirty in the morning. Chichi drunkenly stumbled through the door, yelling, "I gotta go home. I hafta get ready for the –hic- bridal party tonight!"

"Uh, Chichi," Catie said nervously, "we are home."

"That was fast," Chichi slurred, leaning hard against Catie.

The front door opened again and the bachelor party wandered in, Kolya singing loudly in Russian with Seventeen attempting to join him, although he didn't speak a word of the language.

"You Russian very good," Kolya told Seventeen, blinking over and over.

"Uh, Chichi, are you okay?" Goku asked his wife.

"Oh, Goku!" she cried, flinging herself into his arms.

"You got my mom drunk?" Gohan exclaimed.

"She got herself drunk," Leelee stated.

"And she's a far sight more entertaining that way, too," Sabriena added.

Goku laughed. "Oh gosh, Chichi. Come on." He picked her up in his arms where she quickly fell asleep.

"Come here, woman," Vegeta said to Bulma, pulling her to him and crushing his lips to hers. She melted into his arms.

"Oh god, not my parents!" Trunks cried, turning away.

Vegeta broke away from Bulma. "How the hell do you think you got here, boy?"

Trunks turned red, grabbed Catie by the wrist, and drug her through the house towards their bedroom.

"Ha," Lindsey said sourly, crossing her arms and watching them leave. "If he thinks that's bad, he should'a heard the birds and the bees speech your mother gave us."

"She didn't," Gohan whined. "Dear god in heaven, please tell me she didn't."

"She was thoroughly drunk," Eighteen said.

"I wonder if she'll remember in the morning," Jenny said.

"If she doesn't, I'm reminding her," Bulma smirked over Vegeta's shoulder as he pressed his face into her neck. "Serves her right for –" she stopped and gasped "embarrassing you like that. Vegeta, easy!"

He snorted and continued to grab at her.

"Talk about embarrassing," Goku muttered, turning away from them.

"So where'd you all go?" Lindsey asked.

Gohan went pale. "We… uh, well… it wasn't my idea…"

"Did you take him to Club Vogue?" Lindsey demanded, rounding on Kolya.

He blinked at her. "Earth Angels was full tonight," he said as if that were the most logical explanation in the world.

Gohan's insides turned to ice. He braced himself for the tongue-lashing he was certain Lindsey was preparing to give him.

"Please tell me Alliyah gave you a lap dance," she said.

Gohan's eyes popped. "Wh-what?! NO!"

Lindsey fixed him with a bored stare.

"Stop that, you look like X."

"You went to a strip club and didn't get a lap dance?"

"Well… I..."

"Alliyah was sick," Yorgi said, striding over to them. "Gina and Georgia pulled him on stage, though."

"Shut up," Gohan hissed at Yorgi.

Yorgi smirked and walked away.

"Ah, I should'a known. They like to mess with the bachelors."

"You know them?" Gohan gaped.

"Well, yeah," she answered. "I've been there before."

"You didn't… dance there, did you?" Gohan asked, feeling as though he couldn't take any more secrets about her.

"Oh god, no!" she cried. "But, you know, they have ladies' nights. Sabriena and I have gone with the guys. Alliyah's the best dancer."

Gohan shook his head in disbelief. "You're not mad?"

"No," Lindsey laughed. "It's not a big deal."

He heaved a sigh of relief. "Thank god."

"Now you can't be mad at me for the male strippers Sophie hired," she said and sauntered from the room, trying hard not to laugh as he shouted, "Male strippers? WHAT?!"