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Ninth Life
12. We'd All Like to Rearrange
By ©ancercute
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••Mimi••
12:40.
It's almost been two hours and I still couldn't get to sleep. I was curled up in bed under the blanket, wide open eyes glued to the dark ceiling, staring at nothing. Watching the empty black space, my mind thinks back to the night's event. I saw his face again. It's always his face. Always. It's that same ocean blue eyes, same wild blond hair, same edgy and serious face. It's the same face that I fell helplessly in love with.
I got tired of crying, but needless to say, I obviously can't sleep. There was this pain beneath my chest that somehow, it made me harder to breathe. I gasp for air, though every time I do, it aches. I was always this vulnerable. Why does this have to happen to me? Isn't it enough that I already had gone through enough with Michael? And I thought love was sweeter the second time around… and he was my second.
It's easier to think that nothing happened, but if I'd see him again in school, it would be extremely hard to.
Trying to let him out of my head, I got up from bed and decided to shift. I got down the stairs and went out, locking the front door. And then I began my change.
I was now in my four paws and I saw the dark world with much brightness. I began to jump to the roof and started running on the rooftops, the brushing of the cool wind against my face seemed to relax me and clear my head.
I ran as fast as I can until I reached an old abandoned house. It was wrecked and dirty, dark and pieces of wood were scattered all around. I entered the house and called for them. Quickly, I phased back to human form and called them again.
"It's me, Mimi." I shouted and then, they appeared one by one. All my fellow werecats appeared in cat form.
"Hello Mimi," greeted the one female voice that would forever be familiar to me. She emerged from the shadows and I saw her bright purple eyes stare at me as she stepped forward in her human form. "How long has it been since you visited us? A month?"
"Hi Hermia," I greeted as I looked at the other cats, who were all looking back at me.
"So how is it living like a human?" she asked in her superior tone.
"Pretty much the same."
I noticed a cat, go deep into the darker part of the room and shifted. He stepped forward once he was on his two feet, and smiled at me with those two green eyes.
"Michael."
"Hello babe."
I ignored him and focused my attention back to Hermia. She was our leader, the Pride's superior. She let me live in this world, taught me the ways of feline living. Taught me how to survive ever since I was left with no one in the world. I considered her as family. I was with her Pride since the beginning of my four paws. They were the only family I had left.
"What made you come here?" she asked.
I used to be a rebel. I used to refuse the truth of my existence. Since then, I always wanted to be normal. To have a single life, not nine. To have two feet, not four. To have one soul, not two. And be fairly human, like how I was before everything else changed. I used to escape, run away from the ones who helped me. But I still find myself coming back to them. Even until now. When I was left with no one. Again.
When he left…
"I just figured it's been a while since I've visited you."
"So why just now babe?" Michael spoke. "Because your dick of a boyfriend left you?"
My eyes widened in surprise. "How did you know?" I looked at his smirking face.
"I don't let my cats get away from my sight Mimi," Hermia said. I looked at her and knew that every move I made was watched by them. I should have known. It's always the careless me.
They were the ones I felt everytime I had the feeling that someone was watching me.
I dropped my head, not knowing what to say as Michael approached, encircling and studying me like a statue in a museum.
"So, what's it like having a dog for a boyfriend? Doesn't he bite you?" he asked sarcastically, straight to the point and I was again shocked. They knew every little piece that happened to my life. Everything was bombarded at me this very instant that I felt aggravation hit me.
"It's not of your business Michael!"
Hermia laughed. "Oh dear. It is our business. We are your family remember? We keep each other safe."
"She's right babe."
"Stop calling me babe," I snapped.
"You prefer kitty instead? You were his little kitty, weren't you, princess?"
"Fuck it. Shut the hell up!" I shouted at him, balling my fists, trying to restrain my anger.
"Funny. You're so surprised at how much I know," he laughed.
I looked at him, his green vibrant eyes and I suddenly remembered the stalker I saw outside my house.
"You were there, were you? You kept stalking me at my house. You were there when Matt came," I accused.
"Bingo. And I wasn't stalking. I was looking out for you. You'd never know when a dog might hurt a cat."
"Who sent the werecat? Who was the werecat that abused me?" I demanded raising my voice.
"That was a mistake dear," Hermia interrupted. "He was to look out for you. But I guess he had other things in mind."
"And you let him almost rape me!?!"
"Well isn't it convenient for your boyfriend to have a good sense of smell is it?" Michael shot back. That's it. I had enough of what he was throwing back at me. I lounged towards him and pushed him, but he remained balanced. I raised my hand to slap him but he caught my wrist. He held it tight and his other arm wound up around my waist and pulled me closer to him.
I struggled to set free from his tight grasp. "What do you want asshole?"
"You know what I've always wanted," he smiled cruelly. "You."
"I'm not available," I said cold-heartedly, pushing him away and freeing myself.
"Face it Mimi. Blondie's not coming back."
"He doesn't have anything to do with it," I snapped.
"Mimi, Mimi," Hermia interrupted in a calm tone. "Defending him won't change a thing. Don't you think it's a bit ironic? A werecat, a werewolf? Look at the truth. You know well that it's impossible."
I looked away and stared at nothing but the wooden floor on my side. My arms were crossed at my chest and my fists were balled. I constrained the anger that was building up inside me. This is why I don't usually come here. I hated it here.
It was a factor that restrained me from being me. I wanted to be somehow normal, live more or less like a person and not spend the rest of my life hiding in abandoned houses and meowing all day. I wanted to bring out the human in me like I was years ago. I want to be free and be independent. Off course I treat Hermia and the clan like family. They let me live for the past years when I had no one. But the thing is, it's my life and I don't want some leader taking control of what I have.
They should be damn thankful I still come here at least some time.
"You know he's a threat Mimi," Hermia spoke again.
"Who?" I asked, not bothering to face her.
"Yamato."
This time, I moved my gaze towards her. "Why do you keep on butting him in this? Isn't it enough that I don't have him anymore?"
"He knows you're a werecat. And you know that there are little of us left. What do you think will happen?"
"He won't do anything!" I defended. "He is not a killer. Are you suddenly afraid of him?"
"I'm afraid of what his kind would do to us. To the rest of the clan! Don't you see? You never realized what happened years ago. Why you became what you are now was because of that fight. Cats and wolf! And haven't you remembered that his kind killed your parents?"
And that was when it hit my chest. Of course I know for God's sake! I know who killed my parents and I still remember that very scene which haunted me forever in my existence. But when he came along, everything else didn't matter anymore. I thought I found something valuable to put the whole of me- the whole of my heart- in it. And when he walked away, I felt every piece of me fall to the ground.
My heart suddenly felt ill, like it was weakening as I found it difficult to breathe.
"I know," I said back out loud. "But it doesn't matter anymore." The last sentence was spoken in low volume, but I know they could all still hear me perfectly.
Michael snorted. "It doesn't matter? Since blondie came, you didn't care anymore? What happened to you Mimi?"
I narrowed my eyes at him.
"Someday, I might just have to kill him you know."
"You won't go anywhere near him," I warned him loud enough.
"But if he ever does something to you, you know what happens," Hermia added.
"What he does to me doesn't concern all of you. And I know he wouldn't harm me."
"That's what you say now," Michael walked towards me and in an instant, grabbed me by my waist and pulled me to him, smirking. I returned his stare with cold, hard expression. He leaned down on me, near my face as his nose glided my jaw until down to my neck. I could feel his hot breath beneath my skin and closed my eyes, hoping this would stop. Suddenly, I felt his wet tongue on my neck, licking it and biting my skin. His hands reached down and grabbed my butt.
Disgusted, I instantly jerked away and slapped his face.
"What now?" his voice was louder than I expected. "We did this all the time, babe."
"I'm not a slut Michael. At least I'm not your slut. I'm different than who I was," I retorted back.
In a split of a second, his hands reached to grab my jawline. He was holding it so hard that it almost bruised. His face was mad, but still, there was his signature malicious glint in his eyes.
I felt insulted and it made me smack him on his cheek which made a small three lined scar. He touched his face and looked dangerously at me.
"Who said you're different now?" he smirked. "You're still the feisty bitch I remember," he lounged forward and seized me, pressing his lips to mine in a hungry and rough kiss. He moved his mouth against mine harshly as I tried to pull away.
"You're mine Mimi. Only mine," he said with a tease and scarred my left jaw line with his fingers. They weren't long, but painful enough to make me grimace. I pulled away from him and looked at everyone with hate and repulsion.
"Stay away from me," I said calmly. "All of you, stay the hell away from me," I spoke with finality and turned my back on them.
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I woke up with a pain somewhere below my cheek and above my neck. Carefully, I touched the part where the pain was coming from and felt three wounded lines. I got up from bed and rushed to the bathroom. There, in front of the mirror, I saw the wound Michael gave me.
I know it would be too vain but I can't help the tears that fell from my eyes. I wasn't beautiful anymore. How long am I going to keep up my fearless façade? It already took a lot of me last night to refrain myself from crying. How did I become so vulnerable? When I learned how to love?
Love—the least I expected to happen..
A sigh escaped my lips as I prepared myself to school.
It was by the lockers when I spotted him. His sapphire eyes were following me, even if he knows that I know he's looking. And his eyes mirrored mine, sad and empty. Then suddenly, they widened in surprise when he saw something above my neck. Yes, he caught sight of my scar and that, I know, worried him.
I tore away from his gaze and made my way to class.
And that hurt. How I saw his torn expression, also tore me apart. I miss him already even it didn't take a day yet. But I wanted to be in his arms. Somehow, it's the safest place to be. But the truth always reveals, right? No matter what.. and that truth hurts, more painful than a lie.
"Hi Mimi!" Sora chirped suddenly out of nowhere.
"Oh, hey Sora. You and Tai, okay?"
"Yeah. Turns out he just needed time alone. So how have you been?"
"I'm doing fine," I smiled. I hope I could keep up the brave face.
Later by lunch time, I walked along with Sora to the cafeteria when I spotted Tai and Matt seated on our usual round table. Our eyes locked for a few moments again before I turned away. I needed to remind myself that I broke up with him, but is it reasonable that I made a rash decision? I really really want him back.
But then again, there's the clan. I'm afraid of what they'll do to him.. and I'm not sure if I'm strong enough to protect him. Or even fight against them, knowing it's where I grew up.
"Uhm, you go ahead Sor. I'll eat somewhere else."
She gave me an unfathomable look. "Are you okay? Is everything alright with you and Matt?"
"No, no it's not. Let's just keep it that short. You go ahead. I'm gonna be fine."
"Are you sure? You know I'm here. And I'm ready to help."
"It's okay. I just want to be alone. I don't want to be near him for a while." But it's ironic much. I know how badly I want him to be there, but I can't.
She gave a sympathetic look but I ushered her to go. She's already dealt with Tai a few days ago and now they're good, I don't want my problem to involve her. I went separate ways and sat down under a cherry blossom tree.
I wanted to relax and think straight. I wanted be happy again, because even just for a short while that he's not there, I couldn't stand it. I feel so bare and naked without him. Like the feeling when you finally found someone who completed you, and in a snap of a finger, it comes down crashing… and for a second, he's not there anymore.
Closing my eyes, I tried to clear my thoughts. But that didn't seem to work when I felt a form standing beside me, and when the fragrance hit my senses. Shit.
Matt's cologne.
"Please, not now," I shut my eyes close, not wanting to see his face again. Because it hurts to think that he used to be mine.
"I'm not going to do anything. I just want to talk Mimi," he said calmly. God, I missed his voice and it was so good to hear it, especially when he says my name. "Can I sit?"
I opened my eyes but I avoided looking at him. I didn't say anything but he let himself sit beside me. We were so close that I wanted to throw myself in his arms. His cologne knocked the breath out of me and his husky voice.. damn. I felt like I wanted to disappear.
"So, how've you been?" he kept it casual.
"I'm fine," was it a normal response or was it a lie? Probably both.
He turned his face to look at me, but I kept my sight forward. With great care, he touched my chin and shifted it to face him. I was afraid to stare straight, so I kept my eyes down as I bit my lip. I really tried so hard to repress myself from meeting our gaze.
"Please look at me Meems," he pleaded.
I shut my eyes again and settled for the truth. "I'm scared Matt."
"You don't have to be. Please open your eyes princess," he said softly, tracing his fingers on my cheek.
I did what I feared and met his face. It was so close to mine that I wanted to lean into him.
"I want you back Meems. It's okay if you made a rushed decision. I'm here, and the rest doesn't matter."
And the rest doesn't matter? Can't he see we're absolutely different? That there are risks in our actions? He can't just ignore that fact and go along saying it doesn't matter, because they all do! Everything matters.
"They don't matter Mimi. As long as I love you, nothing else matters," he said as if he read my mind. He tucked my head under his chin and I rested on his neck. It's like nothing even happened between us.
"Matt, please understand, it's different now," I said pulling back.
"No it's not. I love you and you love me. Nothing's changed," he explained and watched the side of my face.
"Who did this?" he asked, carefully touching my scar. "It's fresh."
"It's not important. I'm fine," I tried to dismiss the subject.
"Who did this to you? I care Mimi. And I don't want you to get hurt," he said with firmness.
"I accidentally scratched it when I shifted."
He raised an eyebrow. "I'm not buying that." He leaned onto my side where the scar was located and glided his nose on my jaw. I stiffened as I felt his gentle caress on my skin. I heard him intake his breath and then instantly pulled away, looking back at me.
His eyes narrowed and eyebrows knitted. "Did someone touch you?"
I blinked in surprise. "Excuse me?"
"Did someone touch you?" he repeated with an insisting tone. "I can smell a faint different scent on your scar. Someone scratched you."
I looked away, not knowing what to say at the moment.
"Tell me the truth."
"I love you Matt. I always do. And the rest doesn't matter. I'm alright, and this scar isn't important."
"It is. I need to know you're safe."
"I can take care of myself."
He heaved a sigh and raised his hands, signaling defeat. "Alright, alright. I'm not gonna push you with it. But please princess, at least tell me what's on your mind."
"I think… I think we should give each other space for a while," I said looking away.
"Meems," he spoke with a weak voice as he touched my hand. I sadly retrieved my hand back.
"Matt, are you really that blind? Can't you see that we're too different from each other!? Do you realize the risks we're taking if we continue this? You don't because you don't understand," I explained in exasperation and sadness, with tears almost forming in my eyes. I couldn't believe I'm saying this. "I love you Matt.. but… but it's too complicated."
"It wasn't complicated before you knew," he replied softly, almost in persuasion.
"And you plan on keeping it that way? You knew I was different. From everyone else and from you. How long do you think that will last? Think Matt! A werewolf and a werecat?" My head shook in disapproval.
Looking into his eyes, and seeing everything I wanted fall apart because of differences hurts. Why can't we just be normal, like everyone else? Where things aren't so complicated. Where everything is simple and nothing would be involved but just the two of us.
"I didn't regret falling in love you. Just so you now," I took a one last look in his eyes, got up and walked away.
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-a/n-
Finally! I have updated. And happy belated anniversary to Ninth Life last Aug.1! It's a whole year old already. I apologize for the long update because school has been insane! Life's so busy today. But thank you for those who are keeping up with me. I owe you a lot! You're the reason why I keep on continuing this fic.
Read.and.Review.
See you again in the next installment..