Chapter 13
It was the fateful night. Riku had gone to fight Roxas. Not that she had heard it from him; Diz had mentioned it in passing when she enquired as to his whereabouts at dinner. A week had passed since he had found out, and the memory of the day cut into her like sharp glass shards whenever she thought of it.
Slowly bringing his sword down to his side, he loosened his grip and it faded away into billions of little particles. Anger flared in his eyes at his new discovery. Naminé had never seen him look so hurt, so betrayed...so livid. It was the first time she had ever felt genuinely scared of him. Shakily, she brought herself to her feet.
"Riku," she pleaded. "I was coming to tell-"
"Get out," he said lowly. Naminé took an involuntary step backwards.
"No, please, let me explain-"
"I don't want to hear it." His tone was laced with a fury only kept in check by pure self control. "Get out of my sight, and get out of it now."
Naminé lingered a little longer, but there was a look on his face that told her he wouldn't be responsible for his actions if she stayed.
"Alright," she whispered, close to tears. She turned and ran out of the lab.
The week had been a strange one. Naminé knew she was not going to be Riku's favourite person, but it was like he had cut all contact with her. Every time she entered a room, he would leave. If she went down to watch him train, Riku would straighten up and stop, waiting until she left. He ate at different times, he wouldn't even look at her.
Was this what it was like to be hated?
Still, even though she didn't know he had gone to fight Roxas till tonight, she couldn't help but worry. It had past four in the morning, and he wasn't back yet. Naminé knew she wouldn't get any sleep until he returned home safely. She had tried to draw, tried to read, but concentration was impossible, so she took to pacing. Looking at her watch, she had been doing that for almost two hours now. What was taking him so long? Apparently Diz had given him a black cloak to fit in with the other Organisation members. To be honest, she would have liked to have seen him in that...
Worries raced through her head. What if Roxas knew about him? What if it was a trap, and there were other people waiting for him? Riku had just learned to fight blind. He wasn't ready to take on the likes of Axel and Xaldin with that kind of a handicap. Fear froze her heart. What if Saix knew? He could rip Riku to shreds, and knowing Saix, he probably would if he had the chance.
What if he never came back?
This was probably one of the most dangerous situations he had ever been faced with, and the last time he had fought a nobody...well, she knew how that had ended. Roxas could be lethal when he wanted to be; he was best friends with Axel for heaven's sake! There was the very real possibility that he wouldn't return this time. Naminé didn't want him to die, especially not alone. He had suffered through so much for so long, and even if he did hate her, she wanted nothing more than to be there for him, be with him when he fought.
But of course, he hadn't wanted that. It was why he left without telling her. Riku simply did not want her infecting his life anymore. To be honest, she couldn't blame him for his decision. Everything she ever cared about, anything she ever touched was doomed to find destruction. Her family, her town, Sora, and now Riku. They all would have been better off had she never existed. Perhaps this was the price of her existence, the world's way of telling her to get out now, because she was an anomaly that needed to be erased.
Was it selfish to want to be a part of this world? Was it selfish to think that, for once, she could be normal, and lead a normal life? She was a nobody, she knew that much, but even though she shouldn't have these...feelings, they nonetheless stirred inside her. Needs, desires....they kept bubbling to the surface, demanding to be realised, refusing to go away and leave her alone. Naminé wanted friends, she wanted a job, a future, a life, all the aspects of normality that were constantly torn away from her. She didn't want to make a huge difference in the world. She was only one person. No, her goals were simple. She wanted to be loved, and she wanted to belong. Nothing more.
Stupidly, she thought that yearning had been satisfied. Every day she had spent with Riku had brought her closer to being human than she could have possibly dreamt. Riku was her heart. He was the part that had been missing from her life that she hadn't realised she had lost until they had shared their time together.
A wave of tiredness washed over her, and she sat down on the bed. She couldn't sleep, not with him still out there, but her mind begged to differ; ordering her to rest. Her eyes drooped, and she lay down. She would only sleep for a few minutes, and then she'd be up again to wait for him. Giving in to her sleep-deprived body, she let darkness take over.
Naminé heard a thump against the door. Waking quickly from her light slumber, she rubbed her eyes and looked at the clock at the side of the bed. It was just past six in the morning. Forcing the remnants of tiredness from her body she hurriedly rushed to the door and opened it. Riku fell inside and crumpled onto the floor. His black cloak was nowhere to be seen; probably ripped to shreds during their fight. The tears on his blood-stained clothes were also indicative of that theory.
"Oh crap," she said, trying to straighten his limp body into a more comfortable position. "Riku, what happened?"
"Sora," he murmured quietly. "Similar...much...couldn't..." The words came out in a jumble, but one sentence was made unmistakeably clear.
"I...lost, Naminé." His eyes closed. Naminé shook him till they opened again.
"I'm tired," he said. Naminé couldn't help it; she smiled.
"Let's get you to bed so, sleepyhead." She placed his hand over her shoulders. "I can't lift you by myself, so you have to work with me, okay?"
Riku nodded. Forcing gravity, he pushed his battered body to an upward position. He grimaced; his face was a picture of agony, but he made no sound. Naminé knew it was because of her. Something she always hated was the fact that he was too damn proud for his own good. She knew it had taken a lot of courage on his part to even go to her room. He was hurt, and he was well aware of the fact that she had the strongest healing powers in the house. Otherwise, it would have been Mickey's door he would have been knocking on, or in this case, falling in on. The thought made her so sad. After this, she would have outworn her use again, and they'd go back to the usual routine of him ignoring her and her pretending not to mind.
In saying that, this was the closest they had been all week, the longest he had stayed in the same room as her, and the most he had talked to her. While he was offering his presence to her, she would take it. Even if she was being used, it didn't matter.
"That's it, Riku," Naminé encouraged. "You're doing great."
The four steps it took to reach the bed were probably the hardest either of them ever had to walk. Naminé could only imagine the pain he was going through. He was doing his best not to worry her, but she knew he needed help. Every step he took elicited a small hiss from his throat, which she knew if she weren't there would have been screams. In the end, she was happy to see him collapse on the bed, so he wouldn't have to move anymore. Naminé reached down and started to unlace his shoes.
"Can't you...just draw me better?" he asked, but already knowing the negative answer he was about to receive.
"You're not dying. I wouldn't be desperate enough for it to work."
"I'll be dying tomorrow," he argued feebly.
"Well," she said, taking his second shoe off. "You'll just have to get over it, won't you?"
Riku tried to laugh, but it came out as a spluttered cough. Naminé reached over the bed to look at him, concern evident on her face.
"Are you alright?" she asked. "Really?"
"I'm so pathetic," he whispered, placing his hand over his eyes if that would in some small way conceal his emotion. "I can never make things right."
"You will, Riku," she assured. "It just takes time."
"Why can't I be stronger? I have to, I can't let Sora-"
"You're not going to let anyone down. You'll find a way. We'll find a way, alright? Sora's going to be fine."
Riku took his hand away and let it fall to the side. There was a look on his face that told her he didn't believe her, but he said nothing. Instead, he turned his head towards the wall, his eyes empty.
Naminé hesitated after she pulled off his socks. She knew what she had to do next, but she couldn't bring herself to say it to him; it was just too embarrassing.
"Riku?" she asked, laying her hand softly on his bicep.
"Yeah?" he replied, but his eyes remained fixed on the wall.
"I...." she took a deep breath and counted to three. It had to be said, so she was just going to say it. "I need to take off your shirt."
"Fine." It was said without so much as a blink.
"Oh, okay." Naminé quickly fumbled with the buttons on his shirt, doing her best to get them open as fast as she could. She let out an involuntary gasp at the sight of his skin. He knew it was going to be bad, but not that bad. There were cuts criss-crossed all the way down his torso, and he was a mess of dried blood and open wounds. She clasped her hands together and focused on a cure spell. Though it wasn't powerful, the green light diffused into the major wounds to make them less severe. It was going to be a few days before he would be up and about properly again.
"I'll be back in a minute," she said. Naminé ran downstairs and filled a basin with lukewarm water. Finding a cloth, she threw it into the liquid before making her way carefully back to her room. She didn't understand why he had come to her. After all, she thought he hated her now that he knew what she was. He had barely said two words to her in the last few days. It was like he had forgotten how to interact with her, forgotten how to be himself when she was around. This was the first time since he had found out that they had been in the same room for over three minutes together.
Naminé placed the basin on the floor next to bed and knelt beside it. Wringing the cloth of the excess water, she moved it to Riku's body where she started to wipe off the blood. His first reaction was a deep hiss, followed by a sharp arching of his back. Naminé put her hand on his forehead and coaxed him back down.
"This won't take long, I promise." She knew it was going to be painful, but what could she do? If she left the blood there then the wounds ran the risk of getting infected, and that was the last thing either of them wanted. If it did, Naminé would be sure that he would be making another appearance in her sketchpad. Riku tensed his body at the thought of it, but, resigned to his fate, he nodded. With that she continued.
Despite her words, it was a long process. The agony Riku was going through was a lot more than she could handle. Every wipe from the cloth introduced her to new sounds of unimaginable pain and distress, and she knew she was the cause of it. If only she hadn't joined with Organisation XIII, if only she hadn't tampered with Sora's memories....
If only she could fix all the things she had ever done wrong.
Looking at Riku, a sad smile shadowed her face. How could she ever feel bad for what she had done? Even though everything had fallen to pieces around her, it was through every silly mistake she had met him. It was selfish, but her mistakes almost seemed worth it for the time she had spent with him.
Brushing the stray wisps of hair from her tired eyes, she finished clearing the blood from his torso. Though it did not look as bad as it had before, Riku was still in terrible shape. Gathering the basin and the cloth, she moved it back downstairs to the kitchen. She suddenly felt an uncontrollable urge to cry as she watched the crimson water flow down the sink. He was so brave, and he always kept going, no matter what the consequences. How was Sora so important that he allowed himself to be put through this kind of danger, this kind of torture, day after day? Did he ever doubt? Was he ever.....was he ever like her?
"Naminé? What are you doing up?"
Surprised to hear a voice at such a late hour, Naminé jumped. She turned quickly to see Mickey standing there.
"Can't sleep?" he asked. He gave her understanding smile. "It's not easy waiting for Riku to come back, is it?"
"He's back," she replied. "And he's hurt."
Mickey's gaze turned to the red stains in the sink. Taking a deep breath, he nodded.
"Roxas?"
Naminé shook her head sombrely.
"Right," he sighed. "Where is he?"
"My room. Do we have bandages?"
"In the cupboard on your right."
Mickey disappeared upstairs while Naminé rummaged around until she found the first aid kit. Not bothering to rifle through that and make a further mess to the kitchen she just dragged the whole thing to her room. Mickey and Riku were talking in low voices. Naminé couldn't hear a word of it but they stopped once they saw her in the doorway.
"What are you talking about?" she asked, curious as to why they wouldn't have continued.
"Just about Roxas," Mickey said quietly. Naminé knew instantly that it was a lie. She wanted nothing more at that moment than to argue it. She was sick of being kept in the dark like a fragile little doll.
"I brought the first aid kit," she said instead.
"Good, good," Mickey said, a little too enthusiastically. "Well, Riku, we can talk properly some other time. Right now, you need to be patched up! If Naminé dresses wounds as well as she cooks, then you're going to be flying around the place in no time!" He gave Riku an encouraging pat on the head and ruffled his hair before leaving the room.
"I need you to sit up for me," she said, extending her hand to him. Reluctantly, he grabbed it and eased himself into a sitting position. Putting one hand on his back to steady him, Naminé plucked some bandages and tape from the first aid kit with the other.
"Hold this," she ordered, guiding his hand to the bandage covering a shallow gash near his ribs. Riku complied, and Naminé fixed the tape around it, holding it in place. They worked in silence together for a long while, Riku doing his best to help her while Naminé secured the dressings and kept him upright. When she was done, she guided his shoulders gently down onto the bed.
"I'll be back to check on you tomorrow," she said. "Try to get some sleep, okay?"
"Naminé," he said quietly. "Thank you."
"You're welcome," she replied, her face softening. She turned to go, but Riku clasped her wrist tightly, keeping her anchored firmly in place.
"Listen, I want to be....I'm just not there yet."
"I know," she said, though she really wished they were in that place again. The place where the jokes ran freely, the talks were light and fun and the walks were long. It had only been a few days, but already it seemed to be so long ago now.
"Take all the time you need, okay? I'll be here."
Riku's hand loosened his grip, and nodding, he closed his eyes. Naminé pulled the covers up to his chest, then left to sleep in the other room.
Author's Notes:
Well, Happy Easter everyone! As I can't give all you nice people chocolate eggs (let's face it; I'm no Easter bunny) I thought I'd do my best to get another chapter written, edited and up! And woo, it's happened!! As much as I'd like to keep the updates coming this fast, I'm starting to run out of steam, so don't get into the nice comfort zone of this rapid updating!
Well, apologies for the cliff-hanger in the last chapter! I kinda didn't realise it till everyone gave out to me, lol. It seemed like a good way to end the chapter and because I know what happens next it never even occurred to me!! But oh yeah, I can be EVIL sometimes too! Mwahahahaha and all that! ^^
I want to send a big, BIG thank you to my friend, Pan, on this site known as Salaronne, for his help with this chapter. Being the merciless critic that he is, he made this chapter a way, WAY better than what it was, so merci beaucoup you lovable maniac!
Gawd, the reviews for the last chapter made me laugh so damn much, so please, if you have the time, keep sending them in! Thank you all again for your reviews, I hope the replies got out okay. And thanks for reading everyone! Chapter 14 on the way soon!
LastCetra.