WHEN THE SNOW FALLS
by Yih

Chapter Ten
To Understand the Heart

"You should go now," Byakuya murmured, brushing a lock of hair that had fallen in front of her eyes. "You don't want to keep Abarai waiting."

"Nii-sama?" she asked, her voice small and soft, uncertain.

Rukia had no idea what to think. Byakuya had just kissed her as if they were lovers, not brother and sister. To be honest, they weren't in blood and Rukia had found herself looking at him as a man more than a few times, but by Soul Society law they were brother and sister. What they had done was wrong and Byakuya never did anything that was wrong.

"We'll talk later," Byakuya said in that particular tone that was impossible to argue against. "Now go."

Rukia didn't know what else to do, so she left. She guided Renji to the courtyard where they could pit their skills against each other – unfortunately she was horribly lost in thought. What was going on? Why had Byakuya…? She couldn't even think of what he had done in words, it was just the image, the impression of his lips on hers, was thrilling and terrifying at the same time.

"Rukia?" Renji said, putting a hand on her shoulder and jostling her out of her thoughts. He put his face in front of hers. "You there?"

She put a finger on his forehead and pushed him back. "Don't get in my face like that, you know I don't like it."

"Not my fault you drifted off on me," he muttered. "Is this the place you were talking about?" he asked, gesturing at the wide-open courtyard.

She nodded and he gave her a huge grin. "You ready?" he asked, grasping the hilt of his zanpakuto. "Don't expect me to go easy on you because you're not in Squad 11."

"Why would I expect that?" she retorted. "I'd be insulted if you didn't try your very hardest."

"I heard you'd achieve your shikai release," he remarked. "About damn time."

Rukia glared at him. "I heard you can finally do hado #31 with some control."

Renji narrowed his eyes at her. "You always were better at kido than me."

"And you were always better at zanjutsu."

"Shall we?" Renji asked as he withdrew his zanpakuto.

Rukia withdrew hers and held it firmly with her right hand as she whispered, "Dance, Sode no Shirayuki."

"Howl, Zabimaru!" Renji exclaimed.

She had to admit, Renji's shikai release was impressive. There was blunt strength in the appearance of his zanpakuto whereas hers was sleek elegance. It would be fun to spar with Renji again, like the old times, too bad she couldn't really concentrate on this fight wholeheartedly. Instead she was wondering what Byakuya wanted to discuss later. Did it have anything to do with what had happened earlier?

Was he attracted to her? And if he was, was she also attracted to him? She had never really considered Byakuya as a romantic interest, even though she found him beautiful to look at. It was just… Byakuya was her brother.

"Pay attention!" Renji shouted as Zabimaru flew past her head, missing her face by scant inches. "What are you thinking, fighting when you're not putting all you've got into it? If you're not going to take this fight seriously, then—"

Rukia didn't give him a chance to respond. She'd think about Byakuya later, after this fight, before she went to find him, that's when she'd think about what was going on here. Rukia used senka, a variation of shunpo that would put her quickly behind her opposite to attack his vulnerable back. It was Byakuya's favorite way to use shunpo and she was getting better at it, but she couldn't pull it off with the near invisibility that he could.

"You're quick," Renji remarked, bringing Zabimaru back to him to defend against Sode no Shirayuki. "You've been learning from Kuchiki."

"That's Kuchiki-taichou," she admonished, parrying off his attack with quick handiwork that almost erased their difference in strength. But she was nowhere near as good as Renji was with sword-to-sword combat. There was little chance she would beat Renji unless she used a dance.

"Some no mai, tsukishiro!" Rukia exclaimed as she slashed the air where Renji had been.

Both Byakuya and Kaien had told her that she had to time her attacks perfectly if she wanted them to work against her opponents. She had miscalculated again. Rukia gritted her teeth together and used shunpo to attack Renji before he could recover and attack her with Zabimaru.

"You've an ice-type zanpakuto," Renji said, pushing his zanpakuto against hers, forcing her back. "Does it have a form like Hitsugaya-taichou's?"

Rukia shrugged and retreated a few steps, breathing a little heavily, bracing her zanpakuto up when Renji started attacking her furiously with Zabimaru. At the third blow, Rukia thought her arms would give out. Luckily, Renji drew his zanpakuto back to him and rested it on his shoulder.

"You've improved," he said.

"Of course," Rukia replied, "did you expect me to stay at the same skill level?"

"You've improved a lot," Renji amended. "I think we can call this a draw."

"Why?" Rukia asked, knowing that he still had quite a bit more fight left in him. "Tired already?"

Renji's eyes averted away from her to the side. "Your brother is waiting for you."

Rukia followed Renji's gaze and saw Byakuya standing there still like a statute with an impassive face. She bit her bottom lip and released Sode no Shirayuki from his shikai form before re-sheathing him. "I suppose I'll see you at some other time."

"You count on it," Renji said, putting his zanpakuto away. "It's been years since we spent this much time together."

Rukia looked at him, wondering what it was that was in his eyes. She didn't quite understand, too bewildered by all that was going on right now. "We both got busy."

"We can always make time," he said softly, then looked away from her. "I should be going. I don't want to keep Kuchiki-taichou waiting overlong."

"I'll see you soon," she promised.

"I'll hold you to it." Renji gave her a quick nod and saluted at Byakuya before he turned around and ran in the direction of the Seireitei.

Rukia had never really thought about where he lived, but it would make sense that the barracks would be his home since he didn't really have a place like she did to go home to. She took a deep breath, the memory of Byakuya kissing her suddenly flooding her mind. She had wanted time to think, to ponder, to analyze what was going on, but she wasn't being given any time.

"Rukia," Byakuya said.

She turned around and automatically started closing the distance between them. She noticed he was also moving toward her. How strange, she thought, she always felt like she was the one trying to close the gap and now he was doing it too.

"What's going on?" she asked with a moment of bravado. "Why did you kiss me?"

Byakuya was standing so close to her that she felt like she could feel him against her skin, if such a thing was even possible. He raised his hand to her face and she actually leaned into it. His skin was deliciously warm against hers.

"Why do you think I kissed you?" he whispered intently.

Rukia had no idea how to answer that. Did she dare say it? What if she was wrong? He rubbed his thumb against her lips and she felt paralyzed by his touch, unable to move. He smiled faintly.

"I think you know the answer." Byakuya lowered his face to hers. "I have held you in highest regard for the longest time."

"Nii-sama…"

Byakuya drew back and Rukia felt the loss. "You are not exactly my sister."

"I'm not," Rukia agreed, looking up at him with her wide violet eyes. Did she even like him in the way a woman likes a man? "But—"

"Think carefully about what you're going to say," he told her softly.

He didn't have to say it because she understood him well enough to know that he would never bring this up again if her answer didn't encourage the current situation. Rukia looked down at her hands, fiddling with them as she often did when she didn't know what to do.

She didn't know how she felt about him because she had never thought about him in that way. How could she? He was Byakuya, the Head of the Kuchiki family with blood that was so noble it was unthinkable he would even marry someone like her from one of the worst districts of Rukongai.

Although… from the little that she had heard about his former wife, she hadn't come from one of the noble families in the Seireitei either. She had come from one of the lesser districts, but it was hardly possible she had come from a district as bad as the 78th. How could she even think of being with Byakuya when she was so inferior?

"I'm not worthy of you," Rukia said, still staring down at the ground.

Byakuya tipped her face up so that she was forced to meet his piercing eyes. "I'll be the judge of that."

She was about to protest to that, but she stopped just as she parted her lips. Instead she shut her mouth and stared into the vast sea of gray. Byakuya had lovely, serious eyes. If this situation, conversation had come from anyone else she would find it impossible to take seriously.

He meant what he was saying, he thought she was worthy of his affection and what he was asking her was to decide if he was allowed to court her. Rukia knew what she should do because there was no way that the Elders would approve of her and Byakuya. There was simply no chance. The problem was she was tempted by his proposition. Who wouldn't be? Byakuya was Byakuya. Who could say no to him?

"Rukia…" his voice trailed off as she noted how sweet her name sounded from his lips.

She was so mesmerized that at first she didn't even notice the hell butterfly that was flying right in front of her face until it said, "Kuchiki Rukia!"

Rukia blinked and focused in on the hell butterfly. "Ukitake-taichou requests your presence at Squad 13 headquarters immediately!"

Her eyes drifted briefly to Byakuya, who looked resigned, before they darted back to the hell butterfly. "I understand. I'll leave at once."

The hell butterfly turned in the direction of Squad 13 and Rukia glanced back at Byakuya, hoping he understood. "Byakuya-sama, I…"

"You can tell me later," he said, looking at her kindly.

"Thank you," she said before she quickly followed behind the hell butterfly back to Squad 13.

As Rukia flew toward her squad headquarters, all she could think about was Byakuya standing there, having bared his heart, now waiting for her to come back to tell him if what he wanted was a possibility. The question was, did she dare dream the impossible?

-

A/N: The longest chapter yet! I hope it's worth the wait! And hopefully it's not too sudden of a transition in feelings. It's not that Rukia doesn't feel for Byakuya, she just has never allowed herself to hope something like this would happen because it seems so much more impossible than say for her to be adopted into the Kuchiki family, which she still doesn't feel like she belongs too. Also, Byakuya asking in his own way to court her seems appropriate to me for his personality – to do things properly. And I think if she did say no, he would never bring it up again. What do you think? Enjoy the chapter and please review! You guys have been great so far!

Released on: 12/1/08