Chapter 16

Riku sat down cross-legged on the cold, stone floor. He shivered; the room had to be kept at an icy temperature to keep everything functioning at "optimal capacity", or so Diz had said anyway. In front of him was a pod, in which Sora remained asleep.

"Hey," Riku said softly. He didn't know why he kept his voice so quiet, but for some reason he had the exact same feeling he got when he was in a library.

"Sorry I haven't been to visit as much lately," he continued. "But I figured you were asleep and wouldn't mind. You can't even remember my visits anyway." He laughed, and leaned back on his hands to get a better look at his friend. Sora looked so...serene, with his eyes closed, like he was still a kid and the last year hadn't affected him at all. Sometimes, when he thought about all the trouble they had had as of late, he wondered was it worth even waking him. Sora could be so happy, and he'd never have to suffer again. Why was it so much better to be awake in chaos than to be left to dream in nirvana? Nothing could touch him there, or ever hurt him. It seemed like such a pleasant option.

On the other hand, Riku knew that Diz had given him the exact same option only months ago, and he had chosen to stay awake. There were times when he wondered why he had chosen that particular path. He knew, given the choice, Sora would choose as he had.

"You know, in the past few days, I have to admit that I've missed you a lot," he said. He knew he sounded a bit silly talking to him when the guy couldn't even answer, but it was at times like this they had always talked, and Riku had missed his company a lot in the year they had been apart.

"I fought Axel today," he said offhandedly. "I was getting the life beat out of me, but as soon as Naminé was hit...I don't know, Sora. I, I went crazy. The 'dark me' kind of crazy." He shook his head and drew his knees to his chest. "This, rage just took over. I lost control of my darkness, of me...." He sighed.

"It was the first time I think I was ever really scared of myself," he admitted quietly. "I've only just learned to live alongside my darkness, but there's always going to be this chance that it will consume me like it did before. You've never really had the temptation of it, cause you're nothing but a goody-two-shoes, but Sora...the thrill, the rush, the power....it's enough to make you dizzy, and it's a very hard thing to turn away from."

He paused, not really knowing how to voice his next thoughts. They hardly made sense to him as it was, never mind trying to explain to his best friend.

"But, Naminé," he continued. "Naminé, she...well, she brought me back. Her voice was like, I don't really know...a kite-string? She kept me grounded, made sure I didn't fly away into oblivion. But you know what's strange? She's also the one who made me snap. How is she able to bring out both sides of me like that? Not even you ever made me that mad, and let's face it, you've pushed some buttons over the years."

"She's not like other nobodies. She's kinder. She cares. But I don't get it. She doesn't have a heart, so how can she feel those things? Like, take today. She begged me to let Axel go. He's the guy who killed her foster parents for Bambi's sake! How can she do that? How can she act so selflessly? Not even I could be that gracious, and I actually have a heart!"

Riku rested his head on his knees. "I don't really care that she doesn't have one, being honest. She's able to mess me up inside, and I don't know how she does it. I think, I just wanted an excuse to push her away from me, cause I didn't really know how to deal with how she makes me feel. But, it's been worse with her missing; I can't concentrate, or do anything productive. Training helps, because you know yourself, all the time you're training you don't have to think about anything else. When that's done though, Naminé's back in my head again, and she won't leave."

He sighed, though he wasn't tired or sad.

"She...kinda makes me want to be better, you know?" his voice became more subdued. "I want to be the guy that she can turn to when she has a problem, cause she'll know I'll be able to fix it. I never want to see her hurt, or be the one to make her cry. I just want to look after her, take care of her."

"I think," Riku said, taking a deep breath. "I think I love her."

Naminé was in the White Room in the mansion. Unused until she had arrived, she had come to claim it as her own. She had decorated it by posting some of her own pictures on the walls, and hoped to add to her meagre collection as she drew more. The room looked out over the mansion's front garden, and she had to admit that it was one impressive sight. Gates and fountains and beautiful shrubs dotted the lawn, which was becoming rapidly overgrown with each passing day. She desperately wanted to go out and work on it, but Diz had taken up a lot of her time in the past two days. He was an intense trainer, and though he knew she wasn't going best Roxas physically, he made sure that she had at least some skills before facing him.

With the condition she was in now, however, she knew that that was going to be postponed for a while anyway. She was sore, yes, but it was bearable. Mickey was a magic user also, and he had healed the worst of the damage. She was able to walk around, but the King had given her strict orders not to leave the mansion for a few days until she had recovered. He had wanted her to stay in bed, but if she did that she was sure she would die of boredom.

She sighed and leaned her head on her hand. The table she was sitting at was long and beautiful; she couldn't understand why they hadn't made this place a dining room but she didn't mind. She liked its colour. White always had a calming effect on her.

A lot had happened in one day. She thought having the courage to finally tell Riku how she felt was going to be as eventful as it could get, but she had been in for some surprise on that front. But Noel....Lillian...he killed them. She curled her small hand around her pencil, so tightly that she soon heard a snap. She dropped the broken writing instrument onto the table without as much as a second thought.

She had to admit, she couldn't get her mind around it. She had been so sure, so damn sure that it was her fault. The thought that someone could have been tricking her for all this time hadn't even crossed her mind. For Axel to do such a thing...

But then again, everything was a game to that man. The only person he ever really cared for was Roxas. Everything else could turn to ashes as far as he was concerned, and with his fire abilities, he made that happen quite often.

Naminé's original anger had passed. Riku did do the right thing by pulling her back. She was no match for Axel, she knew that. She had been so caught up in the moment, in the revelation, in her seething rage that she couldn't think of anything but revenge. Personal safety hadn't been an issue. No, what she felt now was still a lot worse than anything. Even though the guilt had been lifted, even though Axel had gotten his just desserts and had been beaten to a bloody pulp by Riku, this over-whelming sense of helplessness and loss had engulfed her. Noel and Lillian....they weren't coming back. No matter what happened, how far she moved on, the memory of their death would act forever as her shadow.

Still, why did she leave him go? Riku was going to kill Axel, and her mind should have wanted that. But, something had pulled her back from that oblivion. She didn't have a heart, so she couldn't have a conscience. What had made her act that way, have those second thoughts? How could she feel when she shouldn't be able to?

She didn't want Riku to have that kind of a death on his hands. Even if Axel wasn't human, he was once. And Axel...to her he didn't feel as bad as the others. He seemed like he was in the Organisation for the sake of convenience, rather than having a loyalty to its cause. His only friend in the whole place was Roxas. Maybe, maybe he was just lonely. In a lot of respects, he was a lot like her. She had done horrible things too, so how could she judge? She would just be a hypocrite otherwise.

Naminé heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," she said, wondering why Diz wouldn't leave her alone for two hours.

The door opened and Riku walked inside to her utter surprise. Naminé stood up quickly, smoothing out her dress as she did so. She winced at the pain from her burns. She had to be more careful with herself until she healed.

"Riku," she stammered, caught completely off-guard by his entrance. "What are you doing here-"

Naminé didn't have time to finish her sentence. Riku strode over to her, and without giving any warning, pulled her towards him in a firm hug. Surprised, but not unwelcoming of the gesture, she rested her head against his shoulder.

"I'm so sorry," he muttered. "I'm so, so sorry." Naminé moved her hands from around his waist and gripped his shoulders tightly, pressing their bodies closer together.

"I just want us to be okay," she whispered, tears threatening her voice.

"We are," he insisted.

They stayed together like that for a long time, rocking back and forth soothingly in their tight embrace, offering small, whispered words of comfort to fill the gap in their hearts created by each other's absence. Soon, the words fell away and they hugged each other silently; Naminé and Riku both wanting nothing more than to never let go.

Author's Notes:

Two in one day! SURPRISE! Thanks for reading!!