Chapter 18

Rubbing his hair dry from the shower, Riku sighed happily. He had just finished up his training for the day, and he felt fantastic. Ever since the fight with Axel, his faith in his abilities had been renewed. He knew he was a strong, but the darkness he had harboured in his body in that encounter had made him a formidable fighter. Letting the darkness flow so liberally last time had been a severely idiotic move on his part, but the power he gained from it had been exhilarating. He knew now, if he could get to that state of mind without losing control, he could beat Roxas for sure. The only problem would be trying to convince Diz to give him enough time to master that instead of letting Naminé go instead. Now fully recovered from her injuries, Diz had requested she begin training again, to which she had agreed readily. The were due to start tomorrow.

Suddenly, Riku's mood began to plummet. Knowing thoughts like this were only going to hamper his good humour, he did his best to put them out of his head. Pulling on some jeans and a shirt, he decided to see what Naminé was up to. He walked to her room, and receiving no answer when he knocked on the door, made his way to the other side of the mansion.

"Hey, Nami?" he said, knocking on her door.

"Come in," she called. Riku turned the doorknob and walked inside to the White Room. He now found her here often. It had become something like a drawing sanctuary to her in the last couple of weeks. At present, she seemed to be in the middle of working on yet another picture for her wall; a piece that showed Mickey and himself trying their hardest to move a stone statue to the side of the kitchen. It had held an imposing spot in the middle of the room; one that Naminé had said was "slowing up everything" as she tried to cook every day.

"Hey, Riku!" she said happily, putting down her pencil and giving him a warm smile. He smiled back, though his stomach made a sudden lurch in an attempt to travel up his oesophagus.

"Hi," he replied, sitting down on the chair next to her. "Drawing?"

"As always," she laughed, picking her pencil up again. "You should try it sometime, you might like it."

"I thought you didn't?" he said, confused at her sudden enthusiasm for the art form. He remembered when they were on the road how compelled she had been to draw, but was also aware of the unhappiness it brought her.

"I don't know why," she answered, sweeping the lead across the page in light but practised stokes. "Since Axel...." Naminé let the thought go unfinished, but Riku understood immediately.

"You don't feel as bad about what happened," he completed.

"Something like that," she agreed wistfully.

A comfortable silence wafted over them naturally after her words. Naminé continued to draw, while Riku watched her do so. He had to admit he wasn't an art connoisseur by any means, but he found her style to be so strikingly beautiful. It just had an amazing simplicity to it, and maybe he was being biased, but he didn't care.

"Naminé?" he said tentatively. "Can I ask you something?"

"Go ahead," she replied, keeping her eyes focused on the work in front of her.

"Roxas is Sora's Nobody, right?"

"Yes..." she affirmed, wondering where he was going with this.

"So, who are you a Nobody of?"

Naminé had to admit the question came as a bit of a surprise, though she realised that she should have been expecting it with a while.

"The truth is, Riku," she said sombrely. "I don't know."

"Oh," he replied, but seeing the dejected look on her face made him wonder. "Is that such a bad thing?"

"Not really, I suppose." She looked at her hands for a moment, then put them on her lap. "Nobodies...usually retain memories of who they were before. They're fragmented, and usually come only in flashes, but at least they're something."

Riku gave her a quizzical look. "You don't get those?"

"No, and before you ask, I don't know why. It doesn't make sense. In Organisation XIII, all of them had those kind of memories. Well, all except Roxas."

"Roxas?"

"Yes. Axel said it to me once. I wonder sometimes if there's a reason why only Roxas and I have forgotten who we were. I'd like to meet him someday, if only once. I might get some answers. Maybe, Sora and I are connected somehow."

"Yeah," Riku replied quietly.

"I'd like that, you know."

"Of course you would," he said, his eyes distant. "Sora's a great guy, and the Keyblade master. Who wouldn't want to be connected with him?"

"Well," Naminé said, looking outside to the garden. She didn't want to see his face as she said her next words. "It's not that, really. It's just, if Sora and I were connected, it means that my real self probably knew you as well. It's nice to think that if I disappear someday, I'd still be able to see you."

"Don't talk like that," Riku said immediately, but something inside him tugged painfully at his heart upon hearing those words. He had to admit that Naminé meeting her real self was a definite possibility, but if it was a person in his life that was close to him? Selphie, or Kairi; if she ever came into contact with any of the friends he'd made over the years she'd return to them, probably instantly too. He couldn't imagine it, and his mind had a hard time processing the implications of her meeting the people in his life, the female ones anyway.

"Does it ever bother you?" he asked. "Being a Nobody I mean."

"At the start, I guess," she admitted. "But, when I think about it, I'm really lucky. I got a chance to exist, and having no memories of who I was means I can be my own person, even if I'm just going around, doing what she would normally do, if she were me...." Naminé laughed. "Oh, I don't know, it's really hard to explain!"

"But," Riku argued. "Aren't you afraid at all? The next person you meet could be her."

"The next person you meet could have a gun and shoot you in the head," she countered. Riku cringed at her rationalisation, but saw the sense in it nonetheless.

"I suppose," he said slowly. "It's best not to think about the future that much."

"Yes," Naminé agreed with a smile. "It makes you appreciate the time you have now. Take us for example; I shouldn't technically be here, having this conversation with you. But I'm so happy I was given the chance to do just that."

"You ever wonder what would have happened if I had went to sleep?" he asked.

"That's easy," she replied. "We wouldn't be here, having this conversation!"

"Knowing me," he said. "I probably would have made the same mistakes I made over a year ago as soon as I woke up."

"Your heart would have remembered," Naminé assured him. "I don't think that would happen."

Riku stood up and walked to the window. He let his hand lean against the frame and looked outside towards the woods. They stood quietly, and he could feel the mystic, almost unearthly aura radiating from the trees.

"The first time we walked through those woods," he said. "Do you remember?"

"Of course!" she answered immediately. "You were really freaked out by it."

"Remember when you said the pollen repelled darkness? To be honest, I don't think you even had to tell me that time. I could feel it, just eating away at me, but the light in me stopped that from happening. It's so weird; I was born with light, but darkness has made me who I am. I'm sometimes so afraid of it no longer being there."

"But," Naminé said, her voice full of concern. "You've learned to balance light and darkness so well. Not even Mickey knew that could happen until he met you."

"No..." he replied, shaking his head sombrely. "I've learned to live with my darkness, but there's no way that it has balanced itself out. I don't hate it, I just want to be able to use it without losing control of it. Darkness makes me powerful, Naminé. If I had the proper abilities, if I could manipulate it without getting emotional, I could beat Roxas. I just know I could."

"Hey," Naminé said, joining him at the window. "Let me worry about that, okay? I'll have Roxas back here before you could say one hundred and one Dalmatians!"

Riku said nothing, but continued to look outside at the trees.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, placing her hand on his arm gently in a small gesture of comfort. He was ever the fighter, and she knew that not being able to do what had become his life must be a blow to his confidence.

"What I could do if I was made completely of darkness," he mused.

"Why would you want that?" she said, her face a mixture of surprise and horror. That thought led to a bad road; one she knew neither of them wanted to walk. And if he went alone, there would be no possible way for her to follow.

"I....don't know," he replied. "Light is what makes me make the mistakes, darkness has nothing but power behind it. If I was made up of darkness, it would only be darkness I had to control."

Naminé opened her mouth to speak, but Riku was no longer listening to the words she was uttering. His mind had travelled back to their first visit to Twilight Town. He knew now, he knew what he had to do to achieve that power in such a short space of time. He knew now how to save Sora, and keep Naminé from being hurt. The answer had been right in front of him for so long; why hadn't he thought of it sooner?

"In this forest, there's also another tree, the Berra, which acts in the opposite way. But its pollen has to be extracted, as it's not secreted."

Riku stormed out of the White Room and strode across to Diz's room, nothing else but clarity and purpose in his mind. Naminé had to run to keep up with him, completely taken aback by his sudden activity. Not bothering to knock this time, he went inside. Diz put his pen down and looked at him expectantly.

"Have you heard of the Berra tree?" Riku asked. Diz clasped his hands together and placed them on the table in front of him.

"I have."

"Do you know how to extract the pollen from it?"

"In theory. I have never attempted it."

"No, Riku..." Naminé said, but he ignored her.

"I want you to do it."

Diz was silent for a while. When he spoke, it sounded like his words had been carefully weighed.

"I...assume you know its effects."

"It'll repel the light from my body, yeah."

"And, knowing that, you're still willing to proceed?" His voice sounded genuinely surprised, but held an admiration Riku had never thought would be aimed at him. He nodded his affirmation.

"Right," Diz replied. "It will take me a few days to prepare. I suggest that you increase your training. The process is meant to be very taxing on a human body."

"Riku," Naminé repeated, but was once again ignored.

"I'll be in the lab if you need me," he said.

"You are excused."

Riku walked out of the room, Naminé fast on his trail.

"Riku!" she yelled. "Riku, listen to me!"

"It's done, Naminé," he replied. "You can't make me change my mind on this."

Naminé grabbed his jacket firmly, grinding him to a halt. He turned and looked at her. She was furious; blue eyes set like cold sapphires.

"You are not doing this to yourself," she said slowly.

"Naminé," he said, walking away from her and down into the lab. She followed him relentlessly. He sighed, annoyed by her efforts, angry that she couldn't just let him do what he needed to do to save his friend, and her. "Don't act like such a-"

"No!" she yelled at him. "Don't you think that nobody will care if you leave, if you get hurt? Stop thinking you're going to affect nobody! Don't do it!"

"I have to!" he yelled back. "Sora needs Roxas. I can beat him with this, and you know I can too!"

"Sora wouldn't want you to surrender to darkness. Neither do I! We'll find another way, Riku. There has to be another way..."

"There isn't!"

"There HAS to!" she practically screeched. Tears welled up in the corners of her eyes and fell shamelessly down her cheeks. "Do you know what will happen? Your body will take on the form of darkness that possesses you. You'll become Ansem!"

Riku froze in shock. The thought seemed to crawl all over his body and tighten his organs, suffocating him. Ansem; the one person who had ever gained complete control over him, the one person who could still ignite his irrational, childish fears and haunt his dreams. Somewhere deep inside his body he could almost hear his enemy laughing at the irony of it all.

He curled his fist and took a deep breath. It was the only way. It was for Sora....

"If it will make Sora better, Naminé, then I'm going to do it."

"It's not your mistake to fix, Riku. It's mine; I made Sora this way. Only I can fix it. I'll take it, I'll become darkness."

"You can't. You won't be powerful enough. Don't you see it, Naminé? It has to be me."

"I'm plenty powerful!" she argued. "I can draw, I can make things happen. I can do it!"

"It can't be you, alright?" Riku gripped her shoulders and shook her hard. "Think, Naminé! Look what it would do to you!"

"Look what it would do to you!"

"I won't allow it!" he yelled.

"And why the hell not?" she barked.

Both of them were plunged into a hot, ferocious silence, broken only by the dull, rhythmic bleeping of the machines in the background. They stared at one another, each unwilling to back down in what was probably the most important argument of their life.

Riku was resolute in his decision. He knew the consequences of it and was willing to accept them. Naminé was being ridiculous. She couldn't fight Roxas. He was too fast, too powerful. She would only get hurt, and that was the best scenario. Riku was well aware of his limits, and if he could only embrace that darkness he could...no, he would be able to capture Roxas successfully. Of course, he could never turn back from this, but if it would get Sora to wake up, and it would keep Naminé safe, then he had no problem doing it. A small sacrifice, that's all it really was in the grand scale of things. No matter what his own needs were, Sora was the Keyblade master. He mattered much more than Riku knew he would ever matter. Naminé would have to understand. Besides, if anything did happen to him, he knew Sora could take care of her.

It was then he focused his attention back to Naminé. She was looking at him pleadingly, trying to find a way to get through to him, lead him away from what could very well be suicide. She looked so vulnerable, so fragile then. All he wanted was for her to be okay. He didn't want her to have to worry anymore. He would make sure of it.

That was it. With those thoughts, his last wall fell, and there were no barriers left between them. Riku pulled Naminé to him and pressed his lips against hers, eliciting a faint noise of surprise and confusion from the passionate gesture. Surprised though she was, her protest didn't last long. Riku's hand curled into her hair, pushing them closer while Naminé circled her hands around his neck. Electricity crackled between their bodies; creating an energy neither could see but couldn't possibly ignore any longer.

Riku's hands slid down from Naminé's hair and trailed down her back. Her skin tingled from the simple action, and slowly they moved back together until she was pressed against the wall of the lab. The eerie, blue-white light from the tubes gave their skin a silvery, moonlit glow, which only seemed to increase the ambiance of passion that swirled between them.

Naminé briefly wondered about the strange feeling welling inside her. It was unlike anything she had ever experienced, and it did not seem like something a nobody could feel. What was happening to her? Was it just a reaction from her real self? The question fell away when Naminé felt a trail of hungry kisses on her collar-bone, and became lost in sensation. Her blue eyes slowly closed...

A polite cough sounded from behind them. Both lovers sprang apart as if electrocuted. Though what they were doing was perfectly acceptable, there was nonetheless an air of guilt hanging between them as a result of their unexpected tryst. Especially when seen by the eyes of Diz.

"I came in to view the status of Sora's vitals," he explained. "But apparently I was meant to see much more than that."

Neither said anything while Diz busied himself around the lab, checking monitors, adjusting dials and making changes to a small few programmes. Once finished, he turned and left, but stopped at the door.

"Please," he said. "Feel free to continue your frivolous activities. It's not as if we are trying to acquire a nobody to fix this nuisance of a problem." With that, he disappeared upstairs.

Naminé and Riku stood there for some time, looking everywhere else but each other. Riku scratched the back of his head absently; a trait he had picked up from Sora when he was young, and still couldn't shake. He had noticed it one day when they both let a giant carp get away from them when they were fishing near the island. Trying to laugh it off, Sora and he had both scratched their heads simultaneously, and stopped as they saw the similarity...

"Riku?"

Jolted back to reality, Riku was forced to turn his attention to Naminé.

"What was that?" she asked, noticing he was listening to her again.

"I, uh, I don't know," he replied sheepishly.

"Why did you do that?" she pressed.

"Um..." he said, unable to find any words that could in any way convey what he was thinking before he had kissed her.

"Riku," she sighed, folding her arms in front of her chest. She was obviously uncomfortable by what he had just done. "You can't do those kind of things when you feel like it. I don't want you messing with my head like that. It's not fair-"

"I wasn't," he said, almost too quickly. "I mean..." Riku put his hand to his forehead in exasperation. "It's not like that, okay?"

"Okay then," she replied, putting her hands on her hips. "What exactly is it like then?"

"What the hell do you mean by that?" he asked, his cheeks turning decidedly scarlet. "I think you're..."

Naminé noticed how uncomfortable he was. Part of her was laughing inside at his inability to voice his feelings. She bit her lip distractedly, still savouring the lingering sensation of his lips against hers. He liked her, and his discomfort and squirming proved it. Their argument was long ago forgotten; faded into the background. This feeling, this present, was far more important than what lay ahead.

"Is this," she said slowly. "Is this real?"

Riku reached out his hand to her hesitantly. Naminé, her question answered, reached out and took it. They smiled shyly at each other as they went upstairs, clasped hands swaying contentedly as they walked.

Author's notes:

Well, this update comes so quickly to keep my little friend Pan company while he's away. Miss ya buddy, can't wait till you're back!

On another note, OMG IT FINALLY GOT THERE. *collapses from utter exhaustion at the fact it took 40-something thousand words for them to reach this point* The whole never again thing is coming to mind, but, I love romance, so I'd probably do it again in a heartbeat! The latter part of this scene has been written for a long time now, and I'm so glad to finally be able to share it with you. To those who have been waiting for this long for it to actually happen, thank you for your patience, and now that they're together, I would like to try some more intimate/affectionate scenes that I have been unable to do as of yet for obvious reasons. We'll see how it pans out I guess. A lot of the next chapters will be pretty off the bat, no planning necessary!

Thank you for your lovely reviews; as always I adore reading them and I hope you all got your replies. And thank you, everyone, for reading.

EDIT: Fixed little typo. Thank you SoulEaterDark for the heads up!