WHEN THE SNOW FALLS
by Yih

Chapter Sixteen
Long Lost Memories

Something always had to come up at work just when Byakuya thought he'd be able to leave for home early. He sighed as he finally set his brush down and adjusted his haori. Rukia had likely eaten her dinner hours ago and it was too late to help her practice her shikai release. Perhaps, he could still tempt her with a late night stroll around the gardens.

Byakuya stacked his paperwork neatly away in his desk then left his work behind for something far more enjoyable at home. His shunpo back was quicker than normal, probably because he was eager to get home to see Rukia. He expected her to be in her room, getting ready for bed that he almost passed her lying on her back staring up into the sky.

"What do you see?" he asked, moving to stand in her line of view.

"Byakuya!" Rukia exclaimed, getting to her feet quickly. She looked like she was going to greet him with a kiss, but she pulled back at the last second. "You're back," she said happily, standing with her hands tucked behind her back, looking so innocent and sweet.

She was still shy about the concept of them, but at least she was comfortable enough to show how happy she was to see him. That was all he could ask for now, no matter how much he wanted her to express more of his affection. How could he ask that of her when he himself was so reticent?

"Are you tired?" he asked, standing so close to her that he imagined he could feel the heat radiating off from her body.

Rukia shook her head. "No, not really."

"Walk with me?"

She took his hand and her hand was cool to his touch. He instinctively tightened his fingers around her, wanting to warm her up. They walked in companionable silence for a while as Byakuya enjoying her calming company and thinking about how pleasant the last few weeks had been.

"Can I ask you something?" her voice was hesitant and unsure.

"What is it?"

"When your wife died…" her voice grew softer and trailed off. "How did you feel?"

Byakuya didn't like to think about how he felt after Hisana had passed away. The memories were displeasing, especially when he was the happiest he felt like he had ever been in his life. Maybe because he knew that while he had loved Hisana in his own way – she did not fit into his world like Rukia did.

It was not necessarily that he loved Hisana any less; she just had another place in his heart that he had stored away. Hisana was the past and Rukia was the present. Byakuya stared down at Rukia, thinking about how there was something special about her and her sister… they both made him want to smile wholeheartedly.

"It was hard," he began, "and it took a long time for me to get over her passing, but I did." He paused and reached up with his free hand and stroked her cheek. "Why do you ask?"

"Did you take an extended leave of absence from your duties?"

Byakuya searched Rukia's eyes, wondering where she was going with her questions. He didn't know for sure, but he knew from her expression that it was important that he respond. "A week."

"Did you – did you love her?"

He almost didn't want to answer her and yet he found himself saying, "Of course."

Byakuya wanted to know what was going on. He didn't like the contemplative look on her face, especially when she didn't look happy anymore like when he had first arrived back and she had leapt to her feet to greet him. He wondered if she was jealous of Hisana. She didn't have any need to be.

He loved her as much as Hisana and he had the feeling he would end up loving Rukia more than her sister in the end. Rukia and he had more in common and yet were different enough that everyday he spent with her was a fascinating new day in which to learn more about her. He had to thank Hisana for Rukia and he prayed that she understood Rukia wasn't replacing her. Hisana would always be his first love and Rukia… well, she might be the love of his life.

"I don't know what to do," Rukia confessed as Byakuya pulled her into his arms. "I don't know how to help Shiba-fukutaicho. He's grieving over his wife and I'm helpless. Ukitake-taichou told me to convince him to return to the squad, but I don't think I can do that." She looked up at him with her hopeful eyes. "What do I do?"

He didn't know what to tell her. All of what she had asked suddenly made sense. She had been trying to figure out if his past experience might give her a clue on how to help Shiba. Byakuya could understand what Shiba was going through, but not as fully as he might have in the past.

His feelings for Hisana had numbed with time and now that he had someone like Rukia in his life, he realized how much life was worth the conflict and pain. What Shiba needed was to find something worth living for. That wasn't going to be easy. Byakuya had his grandfather, who he respected and love tell him that his wife might be dead, but he still had his honor and his responsibilities.

That had kept him going in his stoic existence until Rukia had touched the emotional part of him again, bringing it to the surface once more. Byakuya didn't know if his grandfather meant that honor and responsibility was all that was worth living for or if that was what Ginrei had to keep him going until he met someone special that made life more of a joy than a struggle.

"It will take time," Byakuya said, "but time will dull the pain."

"Will it?" she murmured, leaned into his embrace, pressing her face against his chest. "I think if I were him and I lost you…"

It was a thought he didn't want to think about either, about losing Rukia, not when he had just found her and happiness. He tightened his arms around her, vowing that he would never let her go. Never.

"Hush," he said. "Hush."

-

A/N: Several of you guys wanted more Byakuya, hopefully this satisfies your craving? Oh and please review, that would really cheer me up after I failed my Physical Diagnosis exam. Hopefully, the rest of my exams will go better. ^_^;;

Don't worry the next two chapters are longer!

Released: 12/15/08