Since it took me so long to publish the third chapter, I'll give you the fourth chapter already! Someone wanted me to write a Tate's POV, so I did - and I actually liked writing this. It gives you more information about the Tate of my story, so you really get to know him... :) I'm thinking of writing the next chapter as Violet's POV! Yes? No? Anyway, I'm sorry again if there are any typos... I'm asking for reviews again, lol. Enjoy!
Tate's POV
I was sitting on the corner of the cell, and leaning against the cold brick wall. There were two men in there with me, but they were standing couple of meters away from me. My eyes were closed, and I was just counting the hours of how long I'd have to be in there until Seth's dad would pay me out. Sandy was really cool for always being so nice to me - I guess it was because I was pretty much Seth's only friend, if you don't count Summer or Violet. He had always been a nerd, liked comic books and listened to Death Cab. I saved him from getting his ass kicked at the beach party once, and after that we started to hang out. He wasn't even dating Summer back then, I kinda got them together. I moved in Los Angeles two years ago, and I've went through so much shit that I feel like I've been living in here for an eternity. We had to move here since I got kicked out of my last school. I stabbed a kid - pretty fucking hardcore, right? I stabbed him because he made fun of my sister. Adelaide is my sister's name, but we call her Addie. Addie has a down syndrome, so she's not like the other girls - but I think she's special. She always says how she wants to be a pretty girl, and the cocksucker, Constance - my lovely mother, tells her that she's not a pretty girl, and she'll never be. Addie is beautiful already, and I have no fucking idea why she wants to look like the coke whore Lindsay Lohan. Besides, Constance has no right to say that Addie's not a pretty girl, when she isn't beautiful herself. She was beautiful once, I guess. But she turned out to be a whore - she's literally a cocksucker, I'm not bullshitting you. She used to suck the guy next door. I don't like to call her my mom, I don't wanna be known as her son. She'd always wanted me to be her perfect son, because she thinks I'm the only normal one of her kids. I also had a brother named Beau, but this guy called Larry killed him. Yeah, my childhood was pretty fucked up. Anyway, the funny thing is - Constance always says she has four kids. Of course Addie, me, Beau - but who the fuck is the fourth one? None of us actually knows, and it creeps me out sometimes. Does she keep the fourth sibling in a locker or something? I mean, what the fuck?
Anyway, back to everything that happened after we moved in here. I fell in love. I fell in love with Summer's best friend Marissa. She was so beautiful, you wouldn't even believe. She had light brown hair, light blue eyes... She was tall and slender, and every piece of clothing looked good on her. We went out for couple of months, and we always hang out with Summer and Seth. Everything was actually pretty perfect, if you don't count all the times me and Seth got into a fight or some weird shit. Everything was perfect until that one night. Me and Marissa were at a party, when someone pulled a gun out of his pocket and started to shoot everyone. It all happened in a heartbeat - I didn't even have the time to take the bullet for her. It went through her forehead, and the next thing I knew was that she was lying in my arms on the floor. I carried her away from the house, and started to freak out. At first, I didn't even believe she was dead. How could she be dead? She couldn't be, the bullet wasn't real. This is all just a dream. I remember stroking her hair that was covered in blood, and looking at her with tears in my eyes. I remember calling her name, and when she didn't answer me - I remember how loud I screamed. How loud I cried and begged her to come back. She died in my arms, and it was the most terrifying moment in my life so far. Her parents moved away, I don't even know where they are right now. Someone said her father committed suicide, but I'm not sure if that's true or not.
Me, Summer and Seth don't talk about her anymore. We don't wanna bring her up to our minds again, we don't want all those memories to come back again. It's not like we wanna erase her from our lives, not like we'd pretend she never even existed - it's just that none of us is strong enough to deal with the pain of not having her here with us. Violet has no idea of Marissa, she doesn't even know who she is. I guess it's better that way. When I first met Violet, I automatically felt something towards her. I don't even know why, but somehow she reminded me a bit of Marissa. Even though Violet's my girlfriend, I'd lie if I said that I don't feel nothing towards Marissa anymore. When you love someone with your whole heart, you can never get truly over them. And I don't think I'll ever get over Marissa.
But I have to stop crying because of the ghosts of past. I have Violet in my life now. My sassy, sarcastic and beautiful Violet. I'm seeing her dad Ben, who is a psychiatrist. He seems pretty cool, but I know he wouldn't allow me to date her little girl. And I actually understand it - I mean, he does know how twisted my mind can be. And she is his daughter, after all. I think he's kind of scared that I'll hurt Violet.
You know, after what happened to Marissa... I've had this weird urge to shoot people. Marissa got into a better place after she died, I'm sure about it. She wasn't a bad person, she just hooked up with one. She's in heaven. I wanna kill people I like - I'm doing them a favor. I'm taking them away from all the piss, shit and vomit that's running on these streets. This is a filthy world we're living in. The world is a goddamn horror show. People aren't true. There's just so much pain, you know? There's so much.
Anyway, I guess I'm a bit fucked up. Ben said so, and he's a psychiatrist - isn't he supposed to be right? Or is that just a myth that psychiatrists are always right? I don't know, man. There are so many different opinions about therapy. Some say that it doesn't help you at all, when some people say it really does help them. For me, it helps to talk to someone. It helps to not keep things inside my head, because that's where I keep everything. Even Seth and Summer don't know about the shooting fantasy I have. Not even Violet - well, she knows so little about me anyway, that I'm actually scared to tell her about my past. I just don't wanna scare her away, and I think that's a good reason to not tell her anything. I mean, after Marissa died, I thought I could never love anyone, ever again. But then I met Violet, and I felt like my stomach turned around. I met her two months ago, and you have no idea how much I'm already attached to her. I could almost say that I love her.
I had no idea how much the clock was, until the sun started to shine. I saw it as a white light through my eyelids, and it was annoying. I opened my eyes, and then rubbed them with my hands. I turned to look at the clock that was on the wall of the other side of the room, and it showed half past eight. Seth's dad was probably gonna pick me up at nine or ten, so now I only had to wait.
I hated waiting, though.