Fixed... after some weird problems uploading.
I do not own Lord of the Rings.
To: Householder
This letter contains information on an important, once in a lifetime opportunity courtesy of the ALL-SEEING-EYE-CANDY confectionery company.
Dear Resident,
To celebrate the launch of our new confectionery range we are offering you a once in a life-time opportunity to win A LIFETIMES SUPPLY OF TASTY TREATS!
Imagine a whole lifetimes supply any confectionery from our range of your choice!
How do you win this delicious prize?
Simple. We've hidden a special gold ring somewhere in Middle Earth. It has on it secret writing which can only be seen when the ring is heated. If you have the right one, throw it on the fire and you should see some writing. Don't worry about what it says, all you need to know is you've won.
When you find it, all you have to do is send it in an envelope with your name and address clearly marked to;
ALL-SEEING-EYE-CANDY
PO Box 1
Mount Doom
Mordor
That's all there is to it.
Wishing you the best of luck,
Lord Sauron
C.E.O of ALL-SEEING-EYE-CANDY Co.
Gandalf sighed and read through the letter again.
"Hmm. Subtle." He said solemnly.
"You know there are creatures silly enough to fall for that?" Elrond frowned.
"I know... and for the promise of a lifetimes supply of candy." The Grey Wizard shook his head.
"Who knew the price of our freedom could be so low." Elrond growled.
"Hey. A lifetimes supply of candy isn't a low price to sell out for." Boromir snapped. "I say we cash it in for chocolate."
Gandalf face-palmed.
"I rest my case." Elrond huffed with a roll of his eyes.
"We can't just give him the ring you idiot!" Frodo shouted at Boromir. "He's lying! There is no chocolate!"
"What kind of confectionery company doesn't make chocolates?" Boromir pouted.
Frodo gave an irritated snarl. "They're not a..."
Gandalf raised his hand, a sign to Frodo not to waste his breath.
"We've got to destroy it." Elrond sighed. "The ring must be taken deep into Mordor and cast back into the fiery chasm from whence it came. One of you must do this."
"But one does not simply walk into the Candy Factory of Mordor." Boromir whined. "Its black gates are guarded by more than just Orcs. There is evil there that does not sleep. The great Eye is ever watchful. It is a barren wasteland, riddled with fire, ash, and dust. There is death by chocolate. Not with ten-thousand men could you do this. It is folly."
"For the last time Boromir, there is no Candy!" Legolas shouted.
"Oh at least he's acknowledge it's evil." Frodo sighed. "Gandalf do you think one or two of us dressed up like couriers, we could sneak it in past the gates?"
"No. No." The wizard shook his head. "Security is really tight, you'd be caught for sure."
"What if we took it by air?" Legolas suggested.
"That wouldn't work either." Gandalf shook his head again. "Nazgoul can fly you know."
"Oh, well that's just great. So basically our only option is to take a perilous journey across land, under mountains..."
"Pretty much yeah." Elrond nodded.