Old Wounds

Walking stiffly in Kashka's wake, Joanne couldn't help worrying a bit about what the altercation in the council hall had been about. One of the angry voices had been Fentulk's, she was sure. No one denied it was him, either. Yet when the curtain was taken down, the hall was empty.

Word had evidently spread of her acceptance; women up and down the path halted their work or conversations to give her a nod. Joanne felt a surge of joy each time; they knew her as one of their own now, not as the strange woman from another world.

At the family's home, Kashka ushered her inside and Joanne started. Fentulk sat at the table grimacing as his father daubed a cloth on the open cuts about his face.

"Fentulk!" she cried, and he turned. His lower lip had been split by a blow and his cheek was sporting a dark bruise. One eye was swollen shut. "What in the world...?"

Standing with difficulty, Fentulk sought to placate her. "It ain't nothin'. Just... uh... met an old friend."

Sighing with exasperation, she shook her head. "Oh, Fentulk, do you only have friends who seek to hurt you?"

"Well... no," he replied uncomfortably, rubbing the back of his neck. "Kora weren't... much of a friend, as that goes. Rugak's more like... a brother. He sorta had a rough... Look, we got it sorted out."

"If you think it is entirely 'sorted,'" Kashka growled when he dutifully repeated his words in Orcish, "you're a fool. He'll have some other bit of madness to unleash, you mark my words. You and your 'friend,' always keeping everything to yourselves. It's little wonder he blew up."

Fentulk struggled not to sigh and just nodded. "I'll keep an eye on'im, ma."

"And you!" she barked, rounding on a startled Tagdish. "I find out after everyone else that the Horde's Warchief – one of our men – dropped a bomb somewhere in Azeroth? When would you have seen fit to share that news with me?"

"Come on," Fentulk whispered to Joanne, taking her elbow. "Leave'em at it. I'll show you 'round some."

Joanne gave Tagdish a sympathetic look as he fumbled for an answer, then followed Fentulk out the back doorway. They took the path down to his father's favorite fishing spot and kept on walking hand-in-hand.

After his mother's raised voice was no longer distinguishable, Joanne asked, "Why would this... Rugak strike you? Why was he so angry?"

Sighing, Fentulk told her the fate of his friend's mate and child. "It wasn't long ago; just a month or so. Still fresh and still hurtin'."

"And... he heard about me," she said quietly. "I am sorry."

"You got nothin' to be sorry about," he assured her. "I told'im you shouldn't be punished for what... stupid folk in your faction done. It wasn't you."

"Did he... how did he take that?"

"Well, it'll take'im a bit'uh time to... you know... grieve, I suppose," Fentulk shrugged. "Ma told'im to come by. He's got nobody here no more; his folks died a few years back. Last'uh their clan." He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Forgot that. He's the last of'em now."

Joanne didn't press him for more. It was clear by the look on Fentulk's face that the loss of all members of a clan was not one to take lightly. She thought of the ritual she'd taken part in to become a member of the Redwalker Clan. Though uncomfortable, she felt a part of the clan, and therefore closer to Fentulk. If all the members passed on, who would keep these rituals? Would they be forgotten? And little by little, as one clan after another died out, would the spirit binding the Orcs together here be lost, never to be regained?

What, then, would those Orcs on Azeroth be left with?

"What the fuck is this?" Fentulk growled the next morning, holding up the leggings his father just handed to him. They were simply that: leggings. They covered the thighs and calves and hung from a belt about the waist. The leather was thin and soft, likely from a talbuk.

"Yuh think yer goin' up to the island wearin' just any old shit?" Tagdish snorted.

"I wear this and I'll scare the hell outta her," Fentulk retorted. "I ain't goin' around with my dick hangin' out, da."

"Yuh wear this over yer dick, boy," his father said, handing him an elaborately-embroidered pair of leather panels. They were similar in purpose to the flaps he'd worn in the tower, but hung down to the knees.

"These yours?" Fentulk asked skeptically.

"That they are," Tagdish nodded. "Yuh wear'em when yuh go askin' a woman to be yer mate. If Joanne's ma was alive, she'd be givin' her somethin' to wear. But she ain't, so she's gotta make'er own." Straightening with pride, Tagdish said, "Them things've been up a fair few times. I wore'em to ask yer ma, my da wore'em to ask my ma, his da..."

"Yeah, I get it," Fentulk interrupted, trying not to laugh. "This shit's covered a lot of Redwalker dick."

"Cheeky bastard," his father growled without heat. "This get-up leaves yer business free when yer ready to use it. Assumin' your woman accepts you, and wants to lie with yuh right then."

"Ma told'er she don't have to," Fentulk sighed. "Kinda hope she does anyway."

"Well, these ain't gonna fit yuh without help. That's what we're gonna do while yer ma helps'er make'er dress," Tagdish said. "First thing yuh wanna do is get us some talbuk skins so's we can make them leggin's a bit bigger 'round." Eying his son critically, he shook his head. "Guess swabbin' decks puts some muscle on yuh, don't it?"

"Reckon so," Fentulk chuckled. "Uh, we don't got that kinda time, do we? To tan some hide?"

"Pfft," Tagdish replied dismissively. "Get it from the leatherworker. You ain't wantin' to wait, and if I ain't gone blind, neither does she."

Swallowing uncomfortably, Fentulk bowed his head. "I, uh... I got no money, da. Not a copper. Alliance took it all when they grabbed me."

Tagdish put his hand on his son's shoulder. "Don't you worry 'bout nothin'. Yer home now, son. Yer family'll do for yuh til you can do for yerself." Holding up a hand when Fentulk started to protest, he said, "Not another word, now. Let's go get us some leather, eh?"

The additional lengths of talbuk leather were easily acquired, leaving Fentulk and his father able to get right to work. While Kashka had Joanne spirited away to a gathering of Redwalker women, young and old, taking measurements and cutting her own leather attire, Fentulk struggled with the needle and thread on his.

"Yuh know what's funny," he muttered, and his father grunted. "Wore somethin' like them flaps in the tower. Weren't so nice as yours." He chuckled under his breath as he pulled the thread through the leather in short, jerking motions. "Had to go about like that for awhile after we got out."

Frowning at his son, Tagdish asked, "Yuh wore somethin' like this?" He nodded to the decorated panels lying on the table.

Fentulk shrugged. "Somethin' like it. Plain, though. And dirty." Diving the needle in again, he added, "Weren't made for Orcs. Didn't cover me all the way."

"So... she saw yuh, eh?" Tagdish asked quietly.

"Yeah," Fentulk nodded, his face coloring a little. His bruised cheek darkened further. "We, uh, stayed in a camp first night. I woke next mornin' with, uh... well... standin' up, if yuh know what I mean. She was awake and, uh..." Glancing up at his father's shocked face, he sighed. "She saw me, da. Tattoos and all."

"Uh... huh," Tagdish replied uncomfortably. There really wasn't anything he could say, no chastisement he could think of for such a breach of ettiquette. It seemed to be at least acceptably accidental. Then his brow furrowed. Tagdish had never really thought about what intimate matters between Orcs and non-Orcs might entail. Joanne seemed somewhat similar in size to an Orc woman, but the men weren't built quite the same.

"I, uh... wonder how different we are from humans," Tagdish ventured.

Fentulk grunted. "We're a bit bigger, da."

"You seen one of'em, then?" his father asked. "A human?"

"Yeah," Fentulk nodded. "First Mate Masker was human. Liked to piss over the rail of the ship."

Tagdish burst out laughing at the unexpected revelation, and Fentulk smiled.

"Not in front of the passengers, mind you," his son reassured him. "Just his preference, I suppose."

"Well," Tagdish advised awkwardly, "you, uh, make it as easy on'er as you can manage."

"I ain't stupid, da," Fentulk replied. "I know what I gotta do."

"This, uh, woman you was with," Tagdish probed. He'd always left this sort of thing to his mate to handle, but it was his responsibility to help his son through the asking. Maybe Fentulk had some experience with women, but he didn't have it with Joanne. Tagdish at least figured he could educate the boy on dealing with a woman's first time. "She'd been with someone else before you, right?"

Fentulk nodded.

"So you don't really know what it's like to be with... an untouched woman, do yuh?"

Sighing, his son shook his head. "No, I don't."

"Well," Tagdish said as delicately as he could, "I was your ma's first, and she was mine. You, uh, you gotta be gentle."

"I will be, da," Fentulk said.

"Yuh gotta take it slow."

"I know."

"You, uh... you make sure she's ready for yuh," Tagdish pointed out. "You, uh, get her kinda... you know..."

"I know, da," Fentulk chuckled.

"Given she's... yuh know... a bit smaller'n our ladies," Tagdish continued, a blush creeping across his face, "maybe it wouldn't be... amiss, uh, if you, uh... Well, there ain't no delicate way'uh puttin' it. Um, maybe if you, uh... pleased her with yer mouth first or somethin'..."

"I plan on it, da," Fentulk said firmly.

Tagdish blinked. "You... you know 'bout that?"

"Yeah," his son sighed. "I do."

"That, uh... that woman was pretty thorough with yuh, was she?" Tagdish said wryly.

Fentulk drew a deep breath and let it out slowly. "We didn't get 'round to that, da."

"Where'd yuh learn it, then?" Tagdish asked, narrowing his eyes.

Feeling quite a bit like a rabbit caught in a snare, Fentulk sighed. "She wasn't my first."

"Really," his father growled. "Whatchou get up to on that world, eh?"

Avoiding Tagdish's eyes more from annoyance than shame, Fentulk replied, "Da, I was young when I left. Maybe I... maybe I felt a little... smothered... by all the 'don't do that's and 'that ain't right's, and maybe I made my own decisions when I was on my own."

"I see," Tagdish said stiffly. "How long did that one last?"

"A few months," Fentulk sighed. "I didn't feel for her the way I feel for Joanne. I was... fond of her, but..." He shrugged, not really wanting to dredge it back up now.

"She that... friend'uh yers?" Tagdish asked. "The one that helped yuh get home?"

Fentulk chuckled. "No, not her. Didn't even meet'er til Ghakora left for Silvermoon."

"Was it... was she an Orc?"

"Yeah, da," his son nodded. "She was an Orc. Just... exactly the kind ma told me not to go after."

"Yuh didn't... leave her with nothin' yuh shouldn't, did yuh?" Tagdish pressed, arching his brow.

"No, I didn't," Fentulk growled with exasperation. "I wasn't the only one who was havin'er, so she took care'uh that business. She was a warrior. Went away to war, and I never saw'er again. Could be dead now; I got no idea. I got over it, and moved on."

"Did you know she was... seein' them others...?" Tagdish asked awkwardly.

Fentulk fixed him with a steady glare. "No. And I'd appreciate it if yuh dropped the fuckin' subject."

"Yuh wanna let it lie, that's yer business," Tagdish shrugged. "But are yuh sure it's done? Ain't gonna be somethin' that bites yer ass later?"

"Da," Fentulk snarled and leaned forward, "I didn't love'er, all right? I just didn't like gettin' lied to. That's all." Leaning back, he balled up a fist and held tight for a moment, staring at the clothes on the table.

"Not gonna tell yer ma 'bout that, I reckon?" Tagdish said.

Fentulk shot him an incredulous look. "Fuck no, da. She kicked my ass for one I spent a week with. Think I'm gonna tell'er about the other one?"

"Yuh know'er name?" his father asked steadily.

"Yeah I do, but it don't matter," Fentulk snapped. "Ain't nobody knows'er here. And I ain't gonna tell yuh," he said, overriding his father's intention to ask. "If she is alive, I don't wanna... embarrass'er by bringin' up old news. It don't matter, all right?"

"All right," Tagdish conceded. "So you kinda know whatcher doin' then?"

"I kinda know, yeah," Fentulk replied.

"Don't get cocky," his father warned. "She don't know nothin'."

"I know, da," Fentulk growled. "I know she ain't been with nobody, and she knows I have."

"She know 'bout the other one?" Tagdish asked mildly.

"No," Fentulk snapped. "I ain't tellin'er, and neither are you. It ain't important."

"There ain't been nobody else?"

"No, just them two," Fentulk growled.

Tagdish narrowed his eyes. "Yuh ain't lyin' to me now, are yuh?"

"No, da, I ain't lyin'," Fentulk said. Huffing angrily, he went on, "Yuh know, maybe it was cause I remembered what it was like, that I went to that woman on the ship. Sex feels good, da. I missed it, all right? Happy now?"

"Son, don't get shitty with me," Tagdish growled.

"Sorry da, I'm just tired'uh havin' to explain what nobody on Azeroth gives a fuck about, all right?" Fentulk barked. "Ain't hardly nobody round here does, neither. Just cause you and ma got these... ideas, don't mean everybody shares'em. I'm grown now; I can make my own decisions and do my own things. I ain't gonna ignore or forget everything I been taught, but sometimes... I gotta forgive myself. I did what I did, and ain't nobody got hurt by it."

Looking away for a moment, he faltered. "If I thought what I done woulduh hurt Joanne, I never woulduh done it. She's that important to me." Glaring at his father, Fentulk growled, "What's done is done. I can't undo none of it. And maybe she'll... benefit from my experience. Cause maybe I learned how to please a woman somewhere along the line. Maybe I needed them women to teach me. Maybe I'll come to her and I'll know somethin'. She don't know how good it can be. Her ma only knew how ugly it could be. If I didn't know what I was doin', then it wouldn't be much different from what her ma put up with."

Tagdish's brow furrowed. "What'd her ma put up with?"

Not feeling particularly kind or forgiving at the moment, Fentulk said bluntly, "Her ma was raped a hell of a lot, da. Didn't have nowhere to go. All the men in that tower had at her, all the time. Joanne don't even know who'er da is; could be anybody."

"She... came from that?" Tagdish breathed in stunned disbelief.

"Yeah," Fentulk nodded curtly. "Her ma died awhile ago. Protected'er best she could. Wasn't gonna be long before the same thing happened to her. They used her against me. They pretended they was doin' it, in the same cell with me. Made me think they was rapin'er, to try and get me to confess to shit I didn't do. You don't think I didn't fuckin' sing like a bird... I didn't care what the fuck I told'em... Anything to get'em to stop doin' what they was doin' to'er, makin' her suffer..."

It was coming back to him, the fear and anguish he felt and could do nothing about. His voice shook, and he trembled all over. "And she was just gonna send me on my way and not leave, cause she had a contract. She couldn't leave. Human law would've sent her ass right back there. So I stole'er away with me. Didn't want them... doin' it for real."

"I didn't know... how bad it was," Tagdish said quietly. "Sorry, son."

"Da," Fentulk breathed, "I still hurt all over. I been healed a couple times, but it ain't been enough." Tears welled in his eyes and he drew a hand over the top of his head. The stubble of new growth rasped in the stillness of the kitchen. His voice hitched. "I lost all my hair, da; all of it. They... they burned it off. They broke my bones." He choked and flinched. "Broke'em and healed'em, broke'em and healed'em... Got no idea how many times."

Horrified, Tagdish hissed, "Why? Did they even tell yuh why?"

"They thought I was gonna kill their king," Fentulk snarled. Then he laughed, and it came out tinged with madness for the absurdity of the idea. "Thought I was a spy, cause I'm Mag'har like the Warchief. That's the only reason they told me." Once again, his emotions got the better of him and he could barely speak. "Wouldn't listen to me, da. Told'em over and over I didn't know nothin'. They didn't listen. Thought they just needed to... do somethin' more. Make it hurt more... maybe I'd tell'em what they wanted to hear."

Drawing a shaky breath, he continued, "Cause Joanne was... kind to me, they decided they'd make me think they was hurtin' her. Thought maybe that would break me." Fentulk began to weep, and covered his eyes with his hand. "It fuckin' worked. It worked. They broke me, da. I woulda told'em anything." Finally succumbing, Fentulk lowered his head onto his arms on the table and sobbed.

Tagdish sat in shocked silence for several moments, staring at his shattered son. It took some effort to dredge up his own voice. "I... I understand, son," he said hoarsely. "Yer, uh, yer home now. Yer safe. Both of yuh."

Fentulk raised his head and looked at his father through tear-blurred eyes. "I don't know that, da. We escaped, but they mighta followed us. I... I don't know if they did or not. I ain't seen nobody, but... they might... just be hidin'." He shook his head. "Can't let'em take me again. Unless... if they do, they just take me and leave Joanne behind." Clutching his father's arm, he pleaded, "If they come for me, da... you make sure she's safe, all right? Promise me?"

Brow furrowed, Tagdish patted his son's hand. "Ain't nobody gonna take yuh. Nobody in Garadar would allow it."

Closing his eyes, Fentulk nodded.

"Son," Tagdish said, "why don't you just... go on up and have a rest, eh? I got your measure now; I can finish this work. Yuh look... done in."

"Sorry, da," Fentulk said in a subdued tone. "Said some shit..."

"Don't worry 'bout it," Tagdish interrupted. "Yuh had a hard time. Come on, now." Standing, he helped his son rise and accompanied him to the sleeping room. "Now, yuh ain't gonna worry 'bout nothin' for the rest'uh the day, yuh hear?"

"Yeah, da," Fentulk muttered as he climbed the ladder. Tagdish followed him up.

"I'll just sit with yuh a bit," he offered. "Make sure yuh go to sleep like yuh oughta."

A slight smile curved Fentulk's mouth as he removed his shirt. "Think I can't manage it on my own, da?"

"You've always been a stubborn bas-," Tagdish chuckled, then froze. His jaw worked soundlessly for several seconds. Fentulk looked over his shoulder curiously.

"Somethin' wrong, da?"

Swallowing, Tagdish found his voice after a brief search. "Yuh didn't say nothin' 'bout whippin', son."

Fentulk sighed as he lay down on the bedding. "Honestly, da, I got it so much I forgot about it."

Tagdish slowly lowered himself to sit next to his son's bed and stared at the wall, feeling sick in the pit of his stomach about what was done to his boy. When he was sure Fentulk had fallen asleep, he rested a hand on his son's shoulder and wept silently.