A/N: Since this wouldn't leave me alone I decided to do another piece, this time from Elliot's POV. This is what he was doing in his temporary absence in the first chapter. Hope you like :)
What about me?
Once again he had heard her, but not really listened to what she was trying to say.
She had needed reassurance that everything was ok between them. That he hadn't meant all those things he had said to her.
But what had he done?
He'd shot his mouth off and told her they couldn't be partners any more.
Nice going.
What about me?
He slammed his fist into the locker.
He should have told her that he was sorry, that he hadn't meant what he said; that he truly didn't blame her for Ryan's death. It wasn't her fault that she was his weakness; that he had some convoluted protective/possessive complex when it came to her.
It wasn't her fault that she was usually so strong, so in control that he had panicked when he realised she wasn't invincible. That she could be vulnerable and there had been nothing he could do to save her.
Because that's what he did; he came in and saved her. He didn't resent it like he had told her he did, he treasured the fact that he was the only one she would ever let see her that vulnerable. That he was the one who came sailing in to her rescue, her hero.
What rankled about today was that he hadn't been there, that he had come face to face with the fact that one day he might not be so lucky. That one day he might lose her.
What about me?
He had to make this right.
He couldn't function without her; they balanced each other out so well that he didn't think he'd even be able to do his job without her.
He had to go tell her that he'd made another mistake today.
He made his way back into the squad room, just as Olivia was getting her stuff together. She left without so much as a backwards glance.
That was when he knew she'd done it.
He stood, by his desk, staring after her. Dimly he heard Cragen call him into his office; he obeyed the summons numbly.
Even though he was prepared, when they came, Cragen's words still felt like a blow to the gut:
"She asked for a new partner."
---
A/N: I was thinking about it and I think that part of Elliot's problem in Fault was that he likes being the hero and the realisation that some things even he can't fix, that Gitano could easily have killed Olivia, is what bugged him. But that's just my theory and, as I said, only part of it.