I don't own Hetalia or Mucha Lucha

Team Awesome Flying Pasta

The group lingers outside the elevator in front of the meeting room, unsure of where to start their search for clues. Italy really wants to go home and make pasta, but then he'll feel guilty for leaving the search party.

Prussia yawns. "What are we going to do, Team Awesome Flying Pasta? I don't want to stand here all day." The Prussian puts up his fists. "I want a rematch with those toilets."

England's eyebrows twitch. "I still think we should change our name to Team Flying Mint Bunny."

Italy smiles. "Are we voting again? I vote for team pasta."

Germany nearly snaps. "It's just a team name. Get over it already." Italy's hand lingers over his pocket, ready to take out his white flag if he needs it. In case Germany's anger turns on him.

Germany sighs and asks, "England, did you sense any magical properties from the toilets?"

England scowls. "Is that why you wanted me in your group? So you can interrogate me further?"

"No, I'm not blaming you for this mess. I thought you would have been able to track them down easier."

Italy shudders. "If the toilets are not magical, does it mean they're…alive?" He wishes Romano's theory of the toilets being animatronics is true. Miserably, he knows it's not possible. The Italian has seen animatronics at Disneyland rides. Yes, they can move. Although not with the speed the toilets have shown.

Italy clenches his fist and flinches. "Ouch." Italy looks at his hand to see Atlantis' golden crown still in his hand. He looks at it with amazement. During all the commotion, he managed not to have dropped it. He slides his fingers over the tiny sapphires along the golden vines. His fingers pause at the tear-drop shaped ruby in the center of the crown.

A brief memory of Atlantis always carefully polishing this very crown during meetings saddens Italy. He remembers how fond and overprotective she is of her crown. She probably misses it right now.

England looks in deep thought. "We should return to the crime scene and see if there are any overlooked clues. It'll give us an idea on what to do next."

Germany nods, "I agree. Let's go back to the men's restroom."

Suddenly, Italy feels someone snatch Atlantis' crown from his hand. He cries when he sees Prussia grinning as he analyzes the crown. Prussia laughs as he eyes the golden crown. "Hey, this is Sea cow's crown, isn't it? She broke a table because I accidently knocked it off her head during that one fight at the meeting."

Atlantis is nice to Italy. Yes, she's a little scary when she glares, but Germany does it too.

Italy had never heard Atlantis curse (or lose her composure) before that incident. Ever. It's like a taboo for her to do that. She's usually cool-headed and says witty remarks. She would never curse at anyone, no matter how angry she was at someone.

Italy shivers at that memory. Italy thought he would never see the day Atlantis would get violent. She punched the table and left a hole in it!

Russia's scarf, the erogenous zones, Austria's piano, Germany's special books, England's scones, and now Atlantis' crown are off-limits unless someone wants bad stuff to happen to them.

Italy reaches for the crown and misses. Prussia takes a step back and places Atlantis' crown on his head. Prussia strikes a regal pose. "Kesesese~ You can't touch me. I'm King Prussia! Kneel before my awesomeness."

England attempts to snatch the crown as well. "Hand it over, you git! It's probably a priceless royal heirloom. Atlantis will snap again if she knows you're wearing it."

Prussia laughs, "What she doesn't know won't hurt her~" Prussia sprints down the hallway with his other team members chasing him.

Italy screams, "Please, don't break it! Atlantis is very scary when she's mad." Italy tries his best to run after to Prussia. England and Germany easily run past him. Italy feels as though he's going through Germany's training again.

Germany, who is the closest to Prussia, yells, "Hand it over, Prussia."

Prussia ducks into the men's restroom taunting, "You can't harm royalty."

Germany and England storm into the men's restroom after Prussia. Italy pants as he makes it inside the restroom to see Germany and England banging on a restroom stall. It's the very same stall where Italy was attacked by the masked toilet.

Germany orders, "Prussia, get out of there right now or I'll confiscate all your beer." There's no answer from the other side of the stall. "Open this door or I'll-"

Prussia opens the stall door. "Hey West, I found a secret entrance." The Prussian walks through the gaping hole in the wall. On the floor is a crumpled sheet of wallpaper matching the wall. There's a noticeable lack of a toilet in the stall.

Germany, England, and Italy walk through the hole into the Woman's restroom. Prussia chuckles at Germany and England's reactions. They're both blushing in embarrassment.

England stutters, "A-Are we in the woman's loo?"

Italy innocently says, "It's not so bad in here England. It looks cleaner than the men's restroom."

Prussia snickers, "You've never been in here before? It sucks to be you." England looks about ready to strangle Prussia until Germany intervenes.

Germany places his hands on Prussia's and England's chests. "Stop fighting, you two."

Italy turns his attention from the arguing to look at the open stalls. He notices the lack of toilets in the stalls. "Ve, Germany. There are no scary toilets in here." Germany doesn't seem to hear him. It looks like he's too busy preventing a fight from breaking out.

"Hey, wanna buy some beer?"

Italy clings onto Germany. "Save me Germany." Germany struggles to remove him. "Get off."

Germany, with Italy still attached to him, gets to the outside of the stall with England behind them.

Prussia strides to the closed stall and opens it to find a talking toilet. Prussia quickly takes a step back and readies his fists. Italy lets go of Germany so he can pull out his white flag. He waves it screaming, "I surrender! Don't hurt me."

The toilet yells, "Hey, I'm trying to do my business here. If you're not buying anything, then scram. I don't want you to hurt my merchandise." Italy freaks out even worse. It's a talking toilet for crying out loud.

England asks, "You can talk?"

"Of course. I gotta know how to speak human if I want to sell stuff to them."

Germany pushes his way to the front. He interrogates the toilet. "Where are the other toilets and the hostages?"

"Hell if I know. They hate my guts just for mingling with humans. Are ya gonna buy something or not?" Italy smiles. "Maybe I can buy some pasta from it. I'm hungry."

Prussia shoves Germany to the side. "I order you to give me free beer."

Germany facepalms. "Prussia-"

Toilet mutters, "Fine, since you're my first human customer." The toilet opens its lid to reveal a mysterious yellow substance with questionable brown stuff in it.

Prussia scrunches his face. "Is that where you keep your inventory? That's fucking disgusting."

"Hey, I haven't gotten around to bottling the beer yet. The brown stuff is chocolate…I think." The toilet pauses. "Then again, someone did use me yesterday and the janitor didn't come to unclog me."

Italy's face turns green. In his opinion, the toilet is very nasty. There's no way he's buying pasta from it.

Germany angrily says, "You're trying to sell urine and crap to my brother."

"Nuh huh. I keep telling you, it's beer. I thought you Germans can tell the difference between beer and piss."

England shouts, "Enough already, let's leave. We're not making any progress here."

Italy couldn't agree anymore. Team Awesome Flying Pasta turn to leave when the toilet shouts, "Okay, I'll talk. There's a secret passageway in the stall next to me. If you find the toilets, can ya do me a favor and kick their asses? They owe me money."

England waves his hand. "Fine, we will." Germany, Prussia, and England go to the next stall while Italy is stopped by the toilet.

"Hey, kid. I'll give you a discount the next time I see you if you take care of those rip off artists."

Italy stutters, "O-Okay." Italy runs into the next stall screaming, "Don't leave me alone with the creepy salesman toilet!"

Atlantis is a plot device for now. She'll be more involved in the fic later on. You guys will learn more about her at that point.

Fun fact: I got the inspiration to write this fic after watching HetaOni Youtube videos. I always had an interest in the toilet who sold items to the countries. Later on, I recalled the masked toilet that attacked a character a few times on Mucha Lucha.

I mused about Italy being attacked by the masked toilet. Than an idea struck me: why not make it into a fic?

In case you're wondering, the toilet salesman is a messed up version of the toilet that sells stuff to the Hetalians in HetaOni.