A/N: Ok, first off, thank you so so so much for reading and reviewing.

Also I'm sorry if it took a bit longer to update

I really try!

We're slowly coming to an end

Which means…

A lot of action!

Enjoy! (And review?)

Chapter 9: Lies

'Air is so much better. He is so much smarter and nicer and kinder and funny than Malfoy.' Breathe Rose breathe…

'Air is so much more important than the blonde saint.' I keep repeating to myself with a strange persistence for the past week.

Because to my great surprise, annoyance and fear it takes a huge amount of willpower to stop thinking of that unfortunate kiss in the Ball.

And I am scared out of my mind cause it was not supposed to be this way. I was supposed to be in love with Air and hate Malfoy. That was the plan. That's how I arranged things.

Ok, truth be told the initial plan was to be heartless for the rest of eternity. But that one didn't work out that well for me so I passed to plan B. And now plan B is proving out to be insufficient too. This is unbelievable!

And you know I would have accepted loving Malfoy instead of Air, I would have, I mean I know love works in mysterious ways. But liking them both? Well, that goes a little bit over board don't you think?

I'm starting to think this is some sort of revenge from Merlin. Making me love two different people because I discarded love for so long.

To which I have to say: 'Ok, Merlin, I repent… now give it a bloody rest!' I sigh audibly. How is it that I always start thinking about my life in Potions, I wonder. The lesson is about to start and I am sitting peacefully in my seat in the second raw deep in thought when a crushing sound comes to disturb my already remarkably disturbed antics.

Next to me lands Nelia Goyle, a stupid lovesick smile plastered all over her face. And should I point out that she looks significantly neat and pretty and gloating today with my old uniform and my hair-style advice?

Plus there's this little thing called love and this stupid guy called Albus Potter that have made it their personal task to keep her happy and gloating. And they are facing complete success if you ask me.

"Rose , I need a huge favor." I look up to observe her more closely. She is almost jumping with suppressed happiness, which makes no sense let me just say cause this happiness appears to be anything but suppressed.

"Mate, I have a request." I hear an equally happy voice, only a little more, erm…male, from behind me and turning back I find my cousin looking with pleading eyes at Malfoy.

I swift back forward quickly trying my best not to look at the blonde. However my reflexes fail me. Before I manage to give Nelia my full attention I get a glimpse of his grey eyes that have a sad air about them , Air? Damn…

"Yes…?" I slowly reply to my new friend and she claps her hands like a five year old.

"Spill." Malfoy groans audibly behind me.

"Al and I …" Nelia begins.

"Nelia and I…" Al tries behind me.

"We hoped we could sit together in Potions." They finally say in one voice. Oh! Ok, that is ok by me. Yet Malfoy doesn't seem at all satisfied with it. Not that I was looking at him…No!

"Ye-…" I start but am suddenly interrupted midsentence.

"No, way Al. You've been sitting with her in almost every lesson you've got together and spend all evenings with her." What the hell? Is Malfoy acting jealous here?

"Don't you tell me you're jealous Scorp…I mean we do play Quidditch together and hang out after curfew. Not to mention that Nelia and I always ask you to come with as in the evenings but you keep refusing giving me some lame excuse…" The blonde is avoiding my cousin? Well, that's plain crazy. They have been friends since first year, what could have happened to cause this?

"Whatever. The point is there is no way I will accept you sitting with Nelia while I go sit with Weasley." Damn! I hadn't thought about that little detail. Nelia cannot sit with my cousin cause that would obviously mean…

And I could never sit with Malfoy. Not after what happened in the Ball.

"Nelia sorry but I cannot do that." I say politely but clearly. Ok, I know I am disappointing her but it's no big deal for her if she spends an hour away from her sweetheart. On the other hand it would surely cause me a great distress to pass an hour next to the guy I kissed and then abandoned.

And I'm not even putting forward the fact that I keep thinking of him in the wrong way. The really wrong way.

So NO, if you get me , I cannot do THAT!

"No." Malfoy announces to Al who keeps begging him and somehow it feels like he is finishing my sentence for me.

"Oh, come on!" Both my cousin and his girlfriend whine together.

"I said no!" Both I and Malfoy shout at them. Then for a split second we stare at each other. Then away from each other.

"Oh, come off it guys." Al targeting both of us this time. 'Us' being me and Malfoy.

"Off what?" The blonde Slytherin dares his friend.

"You know very well what." My black-haired cousin dares back.

"No, I bloody well don't." Malfoy is now standing up and I feel tension in the air. Air? Crap…

"Well, fine then , you asked for it." Al narrows his eye ready to do what I feared he would. However his friend seems oblivious to my cousin's plans.

"First of all, Rose…" Al looks at me and I gulp embracing my fate. Which by the looks of it will be rather dim.

"…You have in the past snogged half the male population of this school and many more older guys so don't act like a thirteen-year old who got kissed for the first time." Aha! Tell me please how come my dearest cousin is a total idiot about his own life but when it comes to other people's he knows all about it huh?

"And you, mate…" Now it's Malfoy's turn to face the beast that'.

"…You are the one who kissed her. You choose to mess up. So if there is this awesome awkwardness now it's all your fault. In other words I get to sit with Nelia because I messed up nothing and you get to spend an hour with I-kissed-you-back-but-now-I-wish-I-hadn't-so-I-ignore-you Rose. Got it?" Have you ever felt this thing when you're naked in public? All frustrated and ashamed? Well, Al's straight-forward comments have the exact same effect on me.

The blonde says nothing and appears to be in such a state of mind that it's not likely that he'll speak for some time.

And indeed he doesn't.

He stands up and sits next to me. Speechless.

And just sits there, stirring his potion occasionally. Still speechless.

Then Slughorn gives us new assignments. Speechless as ever.

And we get up to leave. Speechlessly.

Agh…

This sucks.

Not only because Malfoy looks like a bloody vampire in a sunny day, but also , due to the fact that I, too sense this crappiness that comes out of uncertainty.

I have to make a decision.

Take a step.

A step away from the blonde in fact.

oOo

'Flash'. Midnight.

I once said I didn't really notice I was heartless until I ignored my friend's crying. Meaning, I didn't realize the change in me until I did something so uncharacteristic of myself that I just had to accept I was different.

So, now, likewise, I hadn't realized I was being a sentimental little kid until I entered 'Flash' with a fast beating heart and trembling hands.

No, obviously I am no longer heartless . A Heartless would never make friends. It would never fall in love. It would never feel guilt as deep as mines for hurting someone it once hated.

All in all a Heartless would never do what I am about to do.

"Hi." I greet Air in a determined tone. He looks tired and worried but as soon as he sees me he somehow relaxes. And that's a good sigh right?

"Nice to see you. It's been a while." He says in an emotion-drained voice.

"Yes, it has." I take a deep breath. It's now or never. Or so they say. "I've been thinking." A lot. He eyes me curiously.

"I believe I'm in love with you." Here it goes. He looks at me unbelieving. Good.

"What?!" Now he is surprised.

"I said-…" And just as I thought , then comes fear.

"Yeah!" He exclaims. "I heard you." Then he breathes heavily.

"Seriously?" He inquires after a long, long, very long silence.

"I-I…" Suddenly my courage abandons me. "Yes, I'm afraid so." I whisper against him.

Air now looks positively terrified. And surprised. And angry.

"But, but…why?" 'Why?' Is he kidding me?

"You are the only person I've been talking with for the past two moths. You hang out with me, talked to me, advised me, and helped me like no other. How could I not fall in love with you?" I conclude, hoping he too will face the fact that he loves me. Cause he does. There's no question about that. No one can kiss a person like that and not feel something.

"Nonsense. There are people in your life, I know there are, your family and friends that care about you. People you can talk to that can really help. I am not one of them." I feel a strange pain in my stomach. Like I'm about to be sick.

"Are you meaning to say you don't care for me?" I ask in a non-believing tone. Now, listen here, I am not that stupid. When you spend two bloody moths talking to someone like Air has been talking to me, there's no way you don't care.

"No-No! I do care. But I cannot help you." That idiot! He's shaking and looks furious.

"Who said you need to do more than what you have already done? All I need is some honesty." I shout at him and he snorts. His hands are crossed by now to conceal his panting chest.

"Honesty? And what makes you believe I have been honest with you?" I-I-…he is right. I don't know what made me say this. Air hasn't even told me his real name. He hasn't even showed me his face. How could I ever assume he was honest?

"Fine, you're right. Maybe you haven't been honest with me about yourself but you have been honest about your opinions and ideas." He leans towards me for a moment, inspecting me closely. Checking for signs of untruthfulness . Nothing.

And yet, surprisingly he snorts. An ironic smirk gracing, or rather ruining, his handsome mouth.

"So just for my honest ideas , are you willing to tolerate lie?" I open my eyes wide at his question.

"What do you mean?" He scoffs and looks away from me. Like he wants to deny my presence here. Or maybe what my presence here is causing him to feel.

"I mean that I will never tell you the truth about me. I guess you could count on my honest ideas …" He spits the last word like it's a curse . "…but not in me. Don't count in me." I just stare at him dumbfounded.

"And I repeat my question." He says in a strict serious voice.

"All I can give you are my honest opinions. The rest will be lies. Are you ready to tolerate this just to be with me?" I gulp. It does sound too hard. Too difficult. But love is supposed to be that way.

I take a small step towards him and look up straight in his grey eyes.

"I am. Because no matter what you say I know, that , you feel something about me too. So what if you lie?" Air catches my face and I smell this characteristic smell that is only his. But before I let myself drown in it he steps back. Terror returning in his gaze.

"I will never understand you Myra." He whispers defeated and hurt.

"You were given something real, something you could touch and feel and enjoy in its fullest and yet you choose this. The lie." He sighs and I look at him questioningly. What is that supposed to mean?

"I will never understand you." He trails off and suddenly I sense the same pain that's been torturing him.

My stomach is tied in a knot . My whole body is trembling. I shiver like I've got fever and my head hurts from over-use .

"I see. Sorry if I have annoyed you with my foolishness. Goodbye Air." And this is forever. The end.

Not my choice. His.

But I have to accept it. So this is the end.

I run away from his, bumping into someone familiar. But I ignore him.

I keep running till I reach the path to Hogwarts.

Tonight I'd rather walk back. I am incapable of disapparating. And just as I walk in misery shouting voices wake me up.

"Hey, mate stay out of my way." A male voice speaks from somewhere behind the trees that surround the path.

"Sorry, mate but I saw you following that girl, and in this late hour, I could not help but wonder, do you ant something specific to tell her?" The second voice spoke in an icy slightly ironic tone. Malfoy?

Could it be…? No.

Rose, don't be stupid. Malfoy is at the moment in his dorm fast asleep next to Al. There no way he is out here…

"Well, it is none of your business but this girl happens to be my girlfriend and I just wanted to talk to her about something urgent." Hey! Are they talking about me? Was this guy following me? Hell!

"Owl her!" The other guy who still reminds me of Malfoy says. I try to concentrate on the sound they are making to find them. It very hard though. Whilst the air is whistling in my ears liker this.

"Oh, just fuck-off mate!" I hear the signal sound of wands being pulled out and I pace up.

"I will not do such a thing." The guy who appears to be protecting me hisses.

"No one stands between Devon Cart and his entertainment do you hear me?" Dev? Damn. How did he find me again? And entertainment? I believe he has forgotten that our last encounter was not at all entertaining for him.

"Shut you bloody mouth." The other person shouts and I finally manage to distinguish their location.

"Stupefy!" Dev screams out-raged and I start running.

"Ennervate!" My protector fights back. Wow! Good thinking it must be an excellent wizard for producing an Ennervato so fast.

"Expelliarmus!" The unknown man replies with force and I see Dev's wand flying away and landing in the other man's fist. But I haven't still reached them.

"Just go back." The guy with the two wands says and throws the stick back at Dev who's at the moment on the ground. Ok, this is bound to be a bad move. You see Dev has never been a fair player.

"Watch it!" I scream at the guy. However he doesn't react fast enough. He turns at my way instead of his opponents and thus gets hit by a very powerful spell.

"Flipendo!" Dev hisses but I am too shocked to see anything really. Because the guy who has been guarding my back with such ferocity is no other than Air.

With scared eyes I watch as he flies a few meters off the ground till he topples violently onto the ground. Yet before the impact a white light comes out of Air's wand-a signal of some kind.

And with this sound 'thud' he collapses. A sound as empty as my insides feel.

"Protego!" Is the first thing I say. Then with a murdering look I make Dev freeze to the spot.

"Don't you ever come near me again." I say clearly and menacingly.

"Ro-Rose…" He mumbles and just as the protecting spell falls I start recalling all the curses I know. Out loud! On him.

And indeed he disapparates, heavily injured, and never comes back.

"Air! Oh, sweet Merlin! Can you hear me?" I shake his shoulders unable to keep my tears from falling any longer.

"Air! Please, please talk to me." I start searching his body for injuries but I fear they are inner.

"What have I done?" Oh, dear… he is hurt now, because of me…

"Help! I need help." I suddenly exclaim. And while I stand up trying to move him, I hear steps, behind me.

"What the bloody hell happened Rose?!" A very familiar voice says and I turn only to confirm my suspicions.

"Al?"

Then my eyes return to the unconscious body I am holding. I thought it was the end for me and Air. Yet I now find out that I might have been mistaken.

What have you been lying about after all Air?

A/N: Yep, finally it's done

Hope you liked it

Next one will be soon coming

I promise!!!

Review dear friends

I would never go as far as bribing you to do so

This is just a request

Yet I wish you'll consider it

Kisses and Apologies for the delay,

Sarah