A series of conversations between Lestrade, Sherlock and John as they compare themselves and those around them to characters from other works of fiction. With occasional appearance from other characters. The first line is always by Lestrade.

I do not own any of the characters of BBC Sherlock, nor any of the literal works mentioned in these stories.

For johnsarmylady, hope you'd like Kalliei here!

"So, Sherlock, did you watch the other three episodes of Star Wars?"

"What's that?"

"The movies you and John watched? Molly's headphone?"

"We watched it the night before last; you can't have possibly deleted it that fast!" John said exasperated.

"Done it now Sherlock, you have. Offended John, you have!"

"What's wrong with your grammar Lestrade? I was hit in the head, why have you lost your speech faculties?"

"Because amusing to annoy you, is it." Lestrade answered cheekily.

"It is!"

"It's Yoda-speak Sherlock!" John said wearily.

"Are we in this café to buy coffee or to stand around and talk like a little green abomination of English grammar?"

"Ha! You do remember it!"

"Yes John, you caught me, I hadn't had time to de-clutter my mind palace yet. I need to get rid of all that useless pop-culture rubbish to find space for some useful information, like why is that teenaged girl with reddish-brown hair's face as white as milk!"

"Kallie! What are you doing here? And why is your face all white?" Lestrade asked, startled.

"Why hello to you too Uncle Greg! I work here after school and I had a little disagreement with the mixer."

"You remind me of someone from that terribly long movie…"

"Introducing her majesty, Queen Amidala of Naboo!" John said in an imperious fashion.

"Hi Doctor John!"

"Hello Kallie! You've grown since the last time I saw you."

"Ya, I'm almost as tall as you are!" The teenager replied enthusiastically.

"Don't you want to go and wash your face?" Lestrade asked.

"Why would I? Queen Amidala didn't. I just had a great idea! I'm going to dress as Padme for the school's Halloween party. It'll be great, thanks for the idea Doctor John!"

"Sure, any time!"

"Say hello to your Mom from me."

"Sure thing Uncle Greg, I'll send your brotherly love to your dear sister!" And she exited the room with a dramatic flourish of her long braid.

"She can get Molly to braid her hair like that character."

"Um, Sherlock, that was Leia, Padme Amidala is someone else."

"Thanks for the input Lestrade, now we don't even have a barista to get our coffee."

"Hey, blame it on the mixer, it refused to cooperate." Lesrade retorted.

"We should send John in to make it comply, since he's had a string of successes with the chip and pin machines!"

"The sarcasm I appreciate not."

"Not you too John. Stop it at once!"

"Talk like Yoda all I want, I will, and stop me you cannot!"

"Okay, how did you even manage that sentence?" Lestrade asked, impressed.

"Much practice, I had. Talk like Yoda all day, I can."

"Strong with you the force is!" Lestrade applauded.

"Growing thin, my patience is!" Sherlock muttered.

For converting regular speech into Yoda-speak, I used the following site:

. (slash)

congratulations to Peaceful Defender, who got most of the analogies in the previous chapter!

Next one is Artemis Fowl, hope you'll like it! If you have any requests, let me know, I'd be glad to have new ideas for next chapters.