Arizona was standing awkwardly, trying to avoid eye contact with Callie. Callie deliberately didn't look at her.
''Hey'', mumbled Callie.
''Hey,'' Arizona replied, hopefully.
Then it was over. Callie bent down to play with Sofia, leaving Arizona standing alone near the door, visibly holding back tears.
''Are you staying here tonight?'' Arizona asked, quietly.
Callie took a moment to respond, ''this is my home. I have nowhere else to go''.
''What do you want to eat? We could have pizza?'' Arizona asked, awkwardly.
''No, you can have pizza. I'll make myself something. We're roommates, Arizona. We're not going to eat like we're a family, because we're not one. We're not a family. I will make myself something to eat and I will make our daughter something to eat, but I am sure as hell not playing happy families''.
***
Callie walked purposefully down the corridor, looking for Owen Hunt. She was wearing freshly ironed scrubs and had a superficial air of optimism about her. ''Owen,'' she greeted enthusiastically when she saw him. ''What are you doing, Torres?'' he asked.
''I want you to get me cleared for surgery''
''I can't do that, Torres, you know I can't'', he replied, ruffling through paperwork.
''Owen…please. I'm fine. I've served my time in the prison ward and I'm good now''.
''It's not that simple'', he sighed, ''you know it's not that simple''.
''Fine. You know what, I own the hospital. If I want to clear myself for surgery, I'll clear myself for surgery!''
***
Callie sat in the on-call room with the door locked. She didn't know how much longer she could handle everything. She'd gone crazy; she'd been ill. She was fine now, things were supposed to get easier. They were just getting harder.
Hunt knocked on the door.
''Nobody's in here'', shouted Callie.
''Torres, open the door'' said Hunt.
Reluctantly, Callie opened the door.
''I've been looking for you. Are you ok?''
Callie paused for a moment.
''So it turns out that owning the hospital doesn't mean I can clear myself for surgery. In fact, being unfit for surgery also means I'm unfit to run the hospital. So I get to have a few more weeks of sitting around my apartment on my own, getting fat from eating potato chips out of boredom and watching the worst TV ever invented, until I can come back all happy and smiley and convince everyone that I'm not crazy. So yey!''
''It won't be as long as you think'' replied Owen.
''No, see, you say that, but they told me that while I'm taking this medication I can't perform any long surgeries and most of my surgeries are long, Owen, most of them are. And I said I'd stop taking it, but they said that if I stop taking it there's a 'significant risk' of me going crazy again and if I'm not taking it they won't clear me at all. So how do I get around that?''
''well, I imagine in a few weeks they'll decrease your dose and your body will get used to it and-''
''a few weeks. I'll go crazy in a few weeks. I can't do this. I'm gonna have to go work as a…as a…teacher. I'll do my teacher training and I'll teach Art and I'll paint stupid brightly coloured trees all day and offer words of wisdom, like, like, 'don't be gay, kids' cos, cos you'll get married and be all happy for like, five minutes, and then your wife will lose her leg in a plane crash and cheat on you and you'll go crazy and lose your job and have to become an Art teacher and tell other kids not to be gay, cos this is what happens.'' She feigned enthusiasm.
''you're not losing your job, Callie'', Owen replied, ''it might not even be a few weeks. The pysch reports aren't even down here yet. Just try to relax''.
***
Callie left the hospital and was walking away when she found herself face to face with Arizona, who had a coffee in her hand and a look of surprise on her face. ''What are you doing here?'' she asked Callie.
''I was hoping to get cleared for surgery. But they said no. they said I can't do my job. Do you know why they said that?''
''why?'' asked Arizona, tentatively.
''because I'm crazy. Because loving you made me crazy. Loving you drove me to do things that even I don't understand why I did. And those things make them say I can't do my job''.
''Callie…'' Arizona started, sadly.
''No,'' said Callie, ''you don't get to explain; you don't get to say you're sorry. I loved you and you slept with someone else. I loved you and you got me locked up after you promised, you promised, you wouldn't. And now everyone is looking at me like I'm weak; like I'm a weak person. Like there's a load of doctors in there who survived a freaking plane crash and I can't handle my wife cheating on me. Like if I can't handle that, I can't handle the surgeries I've been doing for freaking years. And I can't deal with that; I can't, I can't cope. And I was a strong person, Arizona, a strong person. And yeah, I went a little crazy, but I'd have gotten over that. Because I was a strong person. But you, you took that away from me. I could have dealt with the cheating, I could have, but when you locked me away and you didn't see me and I was stuck there, being treated like I was weak and that's why I was there, you took away a massive part of me. You did. And I won't ever get that back. Everyone is always going to see me as the doctor who ended up in psych because she couldn't deal with her wife cheating. So you don't get to apologise. you don't get to apologise because saying you're sorry is not going to change a thing''.
''Callie, please…''
''No, Arizona, not this time''.