A series of conversations between Lestrade, Sherlock and John as they compare themselves and those around them to characters from other works of fiction. With occasional appearance from other characters. The first line is always by Lestrade.

I do not own any of the characters of BBC Sherlock, nor any of the literal works mentioned in these stories.

For Johnsarmylady who asked for Dracula and gave me a push to finish it!

This conversation is taking place in a café.

"So, Mr. Sherlock, have you read Bram Stoker's Dracula?"

"Hello Kallie, why is it that you Lestrades ask these questions from me?"

"I don't know, it's a family trait I suppose! So, have you read it?"

"No, I was never interested in such second rate classics. Ask John, he might be able to help you."

"Hey Dr. John, Have you read Dracula?"

"Hi Kallie. No I haven't, why are you asking?"

"Our English teacher told us to pick a classic novel to write a paper on and I was wondering if Dracula is a good choice."

"Let me guess, you're a fan of vampire fics, and you thought to stick to them in your assignment as well."

"Holy cow, your spot on! So, any ideas? Maybe I can compare it to the 1992 movie or something?"

"NO! Not the movie!"

"Why not?"

"I've seen the movie-" John was struggling to find words.
"And he regretted the two hours he spent on it" Sherlock finished for him.

"Thank you Sherlock." Then John turned to Kallie. "It was one of the cheesiest movies I've had the misfortune to watch."

"So why did you watch the whole thing?" Kallie was confused

"Don't know what possessed me…" John mused.

"Jennet." Sherlock supplied.

"No, it wasn't her…"

"Celeste?"

"Who?"

"Oh you hadn't had a Celeste yet, um, Margaret?" Sherlock ventured again.

"No, she wasn't a big movies fan…"

"I remember it was in October, ah, Juliet!"

"Yup, that's the one! Anyway, it's not worth the time and effort."

"But it was directed by Francis Ford Coppola!" Kallie was incredulous

"I know; that's one of the main reasons it was so devastating for me!"

"It's true! He was whining about his disappointment for a whole day."

"First of all Sherlock, I didn't whine, I complained. Second, at least I ended it in a day, unlike some people who go on and on and on and-"

"Okay John, I got the point."

"I'm about done- and on and on and on and on about how disappointing a case was and then after that they go on and on and on and on about how bored they are until the next case arrives."

"Are you quite done?"

"For now."

"But Dr. John, there must have been something about the movie you liked. I mean the lead was Gary Oldman-"

"Over the top melodramatic acting!"

"Keanu Reeves?

"I had to control myself not to reenact Agent Smith's part."

"Who?" Sherlock was confused

"Which part?" Kallie was interested.

John raised his hand, pointing two fingers at the empty seat in front of him, as if it was a gun and with a serious tone said "Goodbye Mr. Anderson."

"But I just got here!" whined Anderson who had just entered the café.

"If I had to make an analogy, he'd be that loony Renfield guy in the asylum." John deadpanned.

"What are you on about?" Anderson was confused.

Sherlock let out a frustrated sigh "Goodbye Anderson!"

"No Mister?" And he left when he saw the look on everyone's faces that screamed "Moron!"

"Do I dare to push the subject?" Kallie asked sheepishly.

"Actually, come to think of it, Anthony Hopkins' performance made the whole thing bearable. My favorite character was Van Helsing."

"What was he like?"

"He was intelligent, rude, tactless and brutally honest. He was rather eccentric. There was this scene in a crowded restaurant where he describes the process of slaying vampire Lucy with all the disturbing details in a loud voice for Mina with no regard for her or the other patron's sensibilities."

"That reminds me of someone!" Kallie said giggling.

"Exactly, that's why I liked him." John said with a smile.

Lestrade burst into the café "Sherlock, we need your help, there's been a-" he looked around the café "Any way, you should come."

"We'll come after you in a cab." Sherlock replied.

"And there goes Dr. Seward." Said John

"Isn't that the one who managed the asylum?" Kallie asked.

"Yup, that's the guy!"

"So, should I work on Dracula?" Kallie ventured.

"Consider some other books if you still have time." John suggested. "Dracula is no Twilight."

"Come on John! Hurry up!"

"Okay Sherlock, stake it easy!"

If you are a Dracula fan, or the 1992 movie's fan, I apologies. Just like John I haven't read the book and I watched the movie, hoping to get inspiration for a chapter to post for Bram Stoker's 165th birthday. My opinion is the same as John's!