set during 6x06 Murder 2.0
this is for Debs and Ash, they'll understand once they read it...
Chapter 28 – Healthy as a Steed
Ziva was back in America after a week of ignoring her father, fighting Michael, and trying to track Catryn, needless to say she was very tired and very irritated.
It didn't help that on her arrival back at DC, she had to go to work (until late at night) and she was sure she would most likely cause someone at least some bodily harm. That someone was McGee.
McGee walked out of the elevator, coffee in hand when Kate ran up to him.
"Don't go in there McGee, hide."
"What are you doing?" Asked McGee,
"Just trying to save you from-"
"What did Tony do?" McGee cut off Kate
"Why do you assume it's me?" Called Tony from his desk, "That's a good point, but in this case, actually-"
"McGee!" Yelled Ziva from her place at McGee's desk,
"Too late. Nice knowing you Tim." Spoke Kate,
"Why is she sitting at my...?" Asked McGee
"You're on your own, Probie." Said Tony,
"McGee, get in here!" Yelled Ziva,
"Plead temporary insanity; it's your best bet." Laughed Tony,
"What did I tell you, McGee?" Asked Ziva angrily,
"About what?" Asked McGee cautiously,
Ziva hit her hands on his desk and stood, then walked to McGee, grabbed his wrist and pulled him to his desk then pointed at the screen where the three photo's Tony had taken of her in LA were displayed. "I told you to destroy those... twice."
"I did. I did. No. I... I-I didn't, um... Tony. Tony. Tony must have..."
Kate laughed, "Like she cares if Tony has them."
"What? When you went to get coffee?" Asked Ziva accusingly; "You did not erase those photos, did you? Hmm? Admit it! And I will spare you one, of your eyes."
"I did not erase those photos." Said McGee, beaten, "I think I know what happened. Um, I-I-I-I... I just deleted my old screensaver (AN: why did McGee have the photos as his screensaver?), and theoretically, the operating system could have defaulted to the photo directory, but, you know, the odds..."
"Today's not your lucky day." Hissed Ziva,
"It is Halloween later this week." Added Tony,
"And I did see a black cat this morning… Well, it was... it was dark brown."
"Give me your hand." Ordered Ziva,
"Better than losing an eye, McGee," Said Gibbs as he walked in, "Let's go."
"What do have, Gibbs?" Asked Kate as they all grabbed their gear,
"What do we have? We have a... It's a good question, Kate."
* * *
"My-My mother isn't quite herself today." Stuttered Tony in an old English accent, as he took photos of the blood in the shower, "Psycho."
"You certainly have your moments." Teased Kate, laughing
"The movie, Kate."
"I know. Just trying to prolong the moment when you make us all a little dumber with your movie references." She smiled sweetly,
"Norman Bates, shower scene." Ziva rolled her eyes as Tony looked into the bedroom, noticing the massage oils and handcuffs, "Looks like their night was ruined."
"I am going to ruin McGee's whole year." Stated Ziva simply as she put some blood in an evidence tube for Abby,
"Don't you think you're being a bit… uptight, about this photo thing?" Asked Kate, but then she remembered her wet t-shirt comp photo, "No wait, don't answer that."
"No, really. What do you think he's doing with it?" Asked Ziva getting annoyed,
"I would rather shave my eyeballs than contemplate that." Said Tony repressing a shiver,
* * *
"Jethro." Called Jenny,
"Yes?"
"You and your team don't hope to do anything of use concerning your case at this time of night do you?"
Gibbs sighed, "I guess not." He turned to the team, "Go home. Sleep. Don't be late tomorrow."
The team packed up and left slowly, leaving Jenny and Gibbs alone in the bullpen.
"Jen how's your health?" Asked Gibbs,
"Don't start that again. I am perfectly fine."
Gibbs looked at her, but let it pass. He stood and stretched. "I need coffee."
Jenny laughed, "You need sleep, come on; I'll take you home."
* * *
"Primitus-victor dot com is just a placeholder." Explained Abby, as she discussed the website link found in the victims mouth, "The link redirects to a Cyber Vid video."
"Cyber... vid?" Asked Gibbs, confused,
"Anyone can upload anything, and anyone can watch it."
"You know, boss, like, uh, LonelyGirl15?" Said Tony,
"Evolution of Dance?" Suggested Ziva
"The Numa Numa Guy." Added McGee,
"The Beached Whale."
"Yeah." Said Abby, and she opened up the video of the Beached Whale,
"How cute." Said Ziva as the Whale came on screen.
"Oh nu, oh nu." Said the whale in a New Zealand accent, "I'm beeched bruu. I'm beeched asz!"
"Hey bruu." A pelican walked towards the whale,
"Oh, hey bruu."
"What are you doing, bruu?"
"Dude, I'm beeched asz!" Complained the whale,
"Ohhh, shit! You're beeched asz!"
"Tell me something I dun't knuw."
"I love this video." Said Kate, laughing quietly,
"Wow, Katie liking something that mochs another culture and country." Teased Tony
"Oh I love it!" Said Abby, Gibbs turned to look at her, "Sorry. Back to... Back to our video." She typed something then said, "We're the first viewers."
* * *
"Victim's name is Billy Cole." McGee told Gibbs as they stood in front of the plasma, "26, native of Virginia."
"Civilian?" Asked Gibbs,
"Yeah. Cole worked at a local car wash. Abby got a hit off his DNA. Two years ago, he donated his sperm."
"Ah," Said Tony, as he, Kate, and Ziva walked into the bullpen, "the things people will do for money."
"You donated your sperm." Pointed out Ziva as she put her backpack on her desk,
Kate spat out her mouthful of water then put her drink bottled down.
"What?!"
"I didn't do that for the money; just to enrich the world."
"You donated sperm? When?" Asked Kate,
"Don't worry Caitlin," Said Ziva, "Nobody but us are crazy enough to want it." And she smacked Tony on the butt,
"Hey!" Said Tony; before walking over next to McGee, "So, boss, I spoke to security at Quantico." He got a look from McGee, "Oh, I'm sorry. Did I interrupt? …Lets see who the boss likes better." McGee and Tony looked at Gibbs expectantly,
"Ziva, Kate, what you got?" Ziva and Kate gave Tony identical 'I win' smiles,
"Security at Quantico insists no one could have gotten past their checkpoints with a body." Said Ziva, as she walked next to Tony,
"We think they must have used one of the rivers." Added Kate, also walking over,
"But how do you drag a dead guy two miles through the water unless…" Said Tony, trailing off,
"It was frozen." Finished Gibbs,
"No. I was gonna say, unless you had one of those James Bond submersible sleds from Thunderball, but frozen's good. Float him right in."
"What else you got?" Asked Gibbs,
"Actually..." Said McGee, but he paused and Gibbs looked at him pointedly, "You know, actually, I don't have anything else. Cole had no criminal record, and,
uh, no one reported him missing."
"Any connection to the couple on base?" Asked Kate,
"As far as I can tell, they were the first ones to turn on their water."
"Well, the killer did leave a message for whoever found the body." Said Tony, "Click the click." And McGee pressed the clicker, a photo of the paper telling the website came up, then replaced by a loop of the video footage of the bear, the batsman, and the clock.
"A cryptic message." Said Ziva,
"Could be anything." Said Tony, "But we'll figure it out. We can do better." He added at look from Gibbs,
"McGee, Billy Cole's address." McGee handed Gibbs a slip of paper, "DiNozzo." He said before walking away,
"On your six, Boss." Called Tony, before bending over and kissing Ziva's cheek, "Hey, you haven't forgot about that screensaver, have you, Ziva?" He asked as he walked away,
"Actually, I had." Said Ziva. She turned to McGee threateningly, "Thanks for reminding me."
"What are fiancé's for?!" Called Tony,
* * *
Tony and Kate walked up the path to Loominosity Pictures. Speaking of suspects; Rose in particular.
"Nice girl. Wasn't my type, though." Said Tony,
"Really? She was has breasts, and is, you know, alive." Joked Kate,
"Well, I have standards Kate, otherwise, I'd still be dating you." He teased before they knocked on the bars covering the door.
"Hello?" Called a voice before the door opened revealing an old man, "What do you want?"
"NCIS." Said Tony, holding up his badge, "Like to ask you a few questions."
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