A series of conversations between Lestrade, Sherlock and John as they compare themselves and those around them to characters from other works of fiction. With occasional appearance from other characters. The first line is always by Lestrade.

For johnsarmylady, thanks for the push! I hope you like it! ;)

Sorry for the delay everyone, writer's block is a "Monster". :(

I do not own any of the characters of BBC Sherlock, nor any of the literal works mentioned in these stories.

At the flat in 221B

"So, Sherlock, it's a hot summer we're having this year, isn't it?"

"Seriously, Lestrade, the weather?"

"What's wrong with the weather?" John asked.

"The weather is tedious!"

"It's quite unpredictable actually…" Lestrade mused.

"Well if you're so fascinated by the weather, why didn't you become a meteorologist instead of a detective inspector?"

"Sherlock, I think he's trying to tell us something!" John told him with exaggerated attentiveness to Greg's face.

Lestrade smirked "This hot weather can cause dehydration, you know." He said slightly louder than his usual volume and slower than his normal speed of talking.

"You don't say." Sherlock said blandly.

"There is beer in the fridge, if you care for any." John indicated the fridge with his head.

"Bless you!" Lestrade said gratefully.

"Don't mention- WAIT!" John cut Greg midway to the fridge. "I mean, uh, where are my manners? Let me get it for you." John added a bit too politely.

Lestrade accepted the beer, still a bit shaken by John's reaction. "Um, thanks."

"You're welcome!" John said a little high-pitched.

Greg sipped his beer. "What's in the fridge John?" he asked nonchalantly.

"Beer, milk, butter, a few apples, and some Chinese left overs."

"Aha, what else?"

"You don't want to know." John dead panned.

"I think I do." Greg made to move towards the fridge.

"Fine, but it's your appetite's funeral." John said, and then left the room in a hurry.

Greg opened the fridge's door, looked inside, closed it, opened it again, closed it again, and then turned to Sherlock. "Why do have a full human arm in the fridge, Sherlock?"

"It's an experiment."

"It's holding an apple!"

"Your point?"

"You have a human arm holding-" Lestrade saw the indifferent look on Sherlock's face "Oh, never mind!"

"You weren't this squeamish before Lestrade."

"Your experiments weren't so disgusting before! What does John say to these-these monstrosities in the fridge?"

"Compared to the severed head he found in there, these are quite pleasant."

"A severed-? What are trying to do, create a life form Dr. Frankenstein?"

Sherlock's eyes glinted mischievously behind his microscope "No, after that colossal failure the previous time, I don't think I'll attempt that certain experiment ever again!"

"What? What are you on about?"

"I made a humanoid by using spare parts from the morgue, but it was a massive failure." Sherlock said while hiding a smirk.

Lestrade was incredulous. "How so?"

"I managed to make a male humanoid with a normal size and passable appearance, with the aid of modern scientific equipment and all. But it was repulsively stupid, so I ran away from the room. When I returned, the creature was gone!" Sherlock finished dramatically.

Lestrade caught on to the joke "Did he seek you out later?"

"Yes, and he has been exacting his revenge by constantly getting in my way in the crime scenes and annoying me to no end with his unfortunate stupidity!"

"But wasn't Victor Frankenstein's monster intelligent?"

"Apparently due to its large size, the brain used for the body was equally as large, hence the high intellect despite the reanimated brain. Smaller body means a smaller brain, so the reanimated brain has less than average intellect."

"Did your creature demand a mate from you?"

"Oh no, he was quite capable of finding that on his own. In fact, he is so adept in this area that he has two at the same time!"

Lestrade was trying not to burst out laughing. "I didn't put you down as a joking type!"

"Yes, well, apparently John is robbing off on me." Sherlock said with a smile.

John returned to the living room. Just then the sky got covered by a thick layer of clouds and lighting flashed across it.

"What did I say? Unpredictable weather!" Greg said waving at the window.

"It's too dark, I can't see the specimens. John, flick the switch!"

John rolled his eyes "Yes master!"

I tried to fit in some of Frankenstein's clichés. Bonus if you get who's the monster!

Reviews make my day!

Next up, the three musketeers...